Living With Parents - Help!?

[Chinese_lover2]

Hi everyone, I was just wondering how people dealt with living at home with their family who always have high fat/high calorie temptation everywhere. I've been finding it so difficult, especially when I'm stressed, bored or tired not to binge on everything in the cupboards. There's always a supply of crisps, biscuits, chocolate bars, popcorn and then fatty, battered and fried frozen objects in the freezer. How do you resist when that's all you've been used to growing up, when it's what your family eats?

I know things will be better when I have a place of my own, I'll be able to resist buying the 'bad' snacks but I just can't seem to overlook them when my family are buying takeaway every week and then leave out the leftovers for when I come home from work exhausted and hungry. I don't want to have to wait until I'm out of college, in a stable job and financially secure so that I can get a place of my own because that could be for a couple of years... and I don't want to be obese any longer. I love my family but I know they won't change for me, it's such a habit now for all of them. I'm only just beginning to break the habits, to deal with the issues.

I don't suppose there's any strategies out there to help with these things? Any ideas?

 

[Canadatogo]

So I had this massive reply, and it's just disappeared, so here's the breakdown:

• my parents' house sounds a lot like yours (except my skinny brother who never gains a pound, unless it's muscle, who always made me feel horrible about myself!)
• Get out! Spend less time at home. Go bowling, go window shopping, go for a walk or go for a bath to get away from that kitchen!
• If you can, jog. I used to wait until it was dark so less people would see me jogging down the street. It motivated me to keep away from the biscuits though
• things being prepacked isn't always a bad thing; there's no excuse for not looking at the label and seeing how many calories are in everything!

You've already lost almost a stone, so keep it up, you're doing great!!!!

 

[Canadatogo]

Ooo, and take up something like knitting, keeps your hands busy and you can have loads of scarves/gifts by christmas. (needles aren't expensive, and wool can be, but you can also get some good deals!)

 

[Chinese_lover2]

Canadatogo, I have the skinny brother too! He's the excuse for every bad thing that comes in the house 'It's for Matthew's packed lunch' to be honest, he doesn't need a 24 pack of Walkers crisps, 2 packs of chocolate biscuit bars, a box of microwaveable popcorn, a box of screwball icecream every week. I worry he's going to continue these bad habits on to adulthood where it'll do the damage.

Thank you for the ideas, I'll definitely just have to get out the house more. I do like jogging in the dark, you just seem to go faster, get further, but I have to admit I haven't done it at all recently. I should. I tend to go with exercise which I can do at home, fueling the problem, really. My dog would enjoy the workout too

Nearly a stone, been at a standstill for the past couple of week, so hopefully this will start it up again.

 

[Emmaline]

Hallo Chinese L2, Looks like you have some very good ideas already and you are doing soo well up to now.
I have found over the years (me being 76 now) that there has always been a reason why I have not been able to stick to a proper diet. Firstly, I lived on my own from the age of 17 and used to be so depressed. Secondly, when I eventually got married I had a family very quickly (3 under 3yrs old) so didn't have time to do anything for myself and so on, and so on! Now I live on my own again and for a long time didn't have a very confident outlook so the old comfort eating was the next thing that attacked me! (lol)
So what I am saying my dear, if you can stick to what you want to do now then, wow, you'll get there no matter what and you certainly seem to be doing that!
All the very best to you!
I'll be interested to see how you get on.

 

[Canadatogo]

Take that poor dog out! Use him as an excuse to get out for a while each day, he'll love you so much more for it!

And try to be a good example for your brother (my dad used to always keep a GIANT box of snickers in the cupboard, it's weird though that we never really got into it)

And like someone else mentionned, if you can, go shopping with whoever's going and throw a bit of fruit or veg into the basket, you never know, your good habits might rub off on everyone else!

 

[Lynn_]

Try living in my house lol, my son hates it. The only 'food' in the house is 2 boxes full of Exante meal replacements, some milk in the fridge, and bottles of fizzy water. Plus what my son buys for himself.

Hubby works away all week, so i buy food for him on Thursday and throw away whats left on Sunday night.

 

[Chinese_lover2]

I just want to thank everyone for their replies, last night I went on an hour walk with my dog, it did keep me out the kitchen... but my family then came into the living room to watch xfactor with peanuts and pretzels offering me them, I only had a handful of each, but still... just can't get away for long.

To be honest, exante meal replacements definitely sounds better Lynn, can I come live with you, I wouldn't complain

I've actually been doing my own shopping for a while now... perhaps since April. But the past couple of months the money's been tight and I haven't been able to buy as much fresh fruit and veg as I'd like. The fatty sugary treats always seem so much more tempting than the celery, carrots and apples anyway. I do plan all my nice healthy meals for the week ahead, it's just the late night meals and snacking that I end up going a bit a-wall on.

So yeah, I have to say my family has improved to a point, I didn't eat meat for 6 months to encourage my family to have more meals based on vegetables. It sort of worked, I do tend to hide things like spinach and onion in their meals when I'm cooking, just to get some variety in their diets.

I might try knitting, I've never been any good at it before, my nan did try to teach me but I could never quite manage it. I suppose the main problem is that I don't have a modicum of self control when it comes to food. Should sort that out.

 

[Emmaline]

I suppose the main problem is that I don't have a modicum of self control when it comes to food. Should sort that out. (Quote)

I expect the majority of us on here would put their hands up to that in one way or another, CL2, and that's why we are on here so you are not alone on that!!
Don't underestimate youself as you seem to have made some quite remarkable efforts and whilst your family don't appear to be responding to the changes you are attempting to make at least you can have the satisfaction in knowing that ANY little change is going to be for their better as well as yours. Keep at it, girlie, you are doing just fine!!:clap:

 

[Chinese_lover2]

Thank you Emmaline! It's lovely to have the support here, bless her my mum does try, saying every couple of months that she'll try lose weight with me... and I shouldn't be so hard on her, but a few days later she's given up on exercising and is tucking into a take-away. I end up getting a bit frustrated and want to pack it all in myself, but I'm learning this really does have to be for me, for life and she'll have to do it for herself too. The knowledge is there, it's just putting it into practice

I love 'em all, I don't mean to complain about them so. Just fancied a bit of a rant. Sorry! I just want to say congrats on everyone's weight loss, by the way.

 

[Emmaline]

Just a thought but as you say that your mum tends to give up quite quickly - has she got an outside job or is she a stay at home mum, I wonder? Could be that she is having difficulty in keeping motivated if she is at home a lot and "tied" to looking after the house and everybody. Mums sometimes can lose their own identity and become a cooking/washing/cleaning machine without anyone really noticing - because that's what mums do! With the result that a bit of eating therapy becomes the norm.
Don't let that put you off and keep up the good work - you know it makes sense.
And by-the-way, we all like a good rant now and again - wouldn't be human otherwise!!

 

[aliebum]

Hi, I'm currently living at home and trying to loose weight.
I was 15 1/2 st when i was at college doing AS and then did the no snacking, had smaller plate and walked where ever possible and was just under 14st when i went to uni. Whilst at uni i worked a lot and didn't have much money for shopping so unhealthily got to 13st, having gone up and down between 13 and 14 while at uni (got much mroe healthy after the 1st year) i moved back home and over the year I've been back i went back up to nearly 15 1/2- no my happy weight

At the moment i'm low carbing-ish (too much veg for real low carbing and am not OTT strick but just generally trying to cut down) but whe i started I told my parents this is what i'm doing and this is what i can eat - very black and white. And for the first few weeks i was more strict then i wanted to be in the long run so they got used to it. At family meals i have what their having without the pasta/potatoes/rice/bread and have peas or salad instead - weekly takeaways i have fish but no chips or chinese without any rice/chowmein/battered things. (not as good as full chinese but better then having salad instead) For breakfast i have bran porriage and yoghurt (v.filling and salad or omlette or something for lunch - even bought a smaller 670ml lunchbox to take to work with me.
I also exercise 2-3 times a week and always take the stairs. Drink lots too. water/tea/coffee/sugar free ginger beer

when the family sit round watching tv and snacking i say 'no thanks, i'm can't have that' saying it out loud really helps then if i've done that and drink something and still want it then have a couple of squares of dark chocolate or a handful of some sunflower seeds (actually nice no bird food like i thought at first) or a muller light - i like the chocolate orange one but make sure i have an alternative that i've planned for avaliable. but you did really well just having a handful with the family recently so you'll be fine if you keep it up!

The biggest thing is to make a plan and stick to it but make a plan that suits you and plan for the times you slip up or know are hard. I have a takeaway plan and a after dinner snacking plan and find I'm ok the rest of the time - even not having biscuits with tea or sugar in coffee so maybe you need a plan for the late nights and the tv munching?
I also find setting little goals helps me get through like when i got to 14 1/2st i bought new trainers. and the other day i went swimming and decided today i'll try and swim a mile - 66lengths- got to 30 and felt like thats enough but said to myself get to 33 and it's hald a mile, then was like i've done 33 maybe i could do 40, then afer 40 pursuaded myself to do another 6 then only had 20 to go and was feeling ok so managed to finish it even though at 30 I'd wanted to give up. I looked like a right nutter in the changing rooms out of breath and grinning but finishing a little goal really made me feel good for the day.
Google pedometer is really good for setting routes for walks and runs as you can make some goals of distance and maybe you and your dog can try and do it quicker every time you go?

You've done really well so far just keep it up, it's not easy when at home, hope this very long message was useful/interesting...Good luck. Alie x

 

[MissUno]

I live with my mother, and she'd been supportive enough to avoid eating naughty foods in front of me and has also stopped buying in the sort of foods I can't resist and tend to over eat.

This evening she even asked if it was OK to drink some alcohol as she knows I've had to cut it out.

It's so important to have family on side with you when you're going through these issues with food.