Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Fingers crossed for you!
Lizz's "to Inslimity and beyond" diary
- Thread starter LizzMB
- Start date
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
put on 1lb which everyone keeps telling me considering what was consumed at the weekend is a good thing, but with the mentality i have at the moment, it couldnt have been much worse!
I did expect to gain but secretly hoped that battling all these cravings this week would have been with a happy result at the end...stupid i know and my own fault but cant change that! As i say, i HATE the thought of gaining!
CDC is a bit concerned about my cravings and my obsessive purchasing of chocolates/sweets to "keep in the cupboard" and said its something that can be associated with anorexia! With that and my HATRED of the 810 plan, its not put me in a happy place...however, i have all of this week to stick to plan before we go to Disneyland Paris on sunday next week so hoping that things will improve and i will manage a loss next week!
I'm frustrated that i have Disneyland and our 5th wedding anniversary in October as it just feels like "goal" is being pushed further and further away as i wont be able to give 100% to plan!
Hubby isnt impressed that i'm so miserable about my 1lb gain but lots of rude words to him! lol
Anyway, going to run off and hide now so i'll catch up with you all later!
xxx
I did expect to gain but secretly hoped that battling all these cravings this week would have been with a happy result at the end...stupid i know and my own fault but cant change that! As i say, i HATE the thought of gaining!
CDC is a bit concerned about my cravings and my obsessive purchasing of chocolates/sweets to "keep in the cupboard" and said its something that can be associated with anorexia! With that and my HATRED of the 810 plan, its not put me in a happy place...however, i have all of this week to stick to plan before we go to Disneyland Paris on sunday next week so hoping that things will improve and i will manage a loss next week!
I'm frustrated that i have Disneyland and our 5th wedding anniversary in October as it just feels like "goal" is being pushed further and further away as i wont be able to give 100% to plan!
Hubby isnt impressed that i'm so miserable about my 1lb gain but lots of rude words to him! lol
Anyway, going to run off and hide now so i'll catch up with you all later!
xxx
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Ah, hugs Lizz. I feel your pain hon... know how a gain, however small, can throw you. BUT you know why it happened, and that it is temporary (as long as you don't use it as an excuse to binge, which I doubt.)
Keep your eye on the goal, trust in 810... followed to the letter, it will give you great losses.
The anorexia comment seems odd... not what I'd have concluded, anyway! I'd be worried for a different reason, in case your subconscious was planning a binge. BUT I have done a lot of 'surrogate' choccy buying in the past, buying & giving away lots of choc to others, and getting a kick from that without any cals. So could it be that kind of thing? I would all the same get those chocs & sweets out of the house, so temptation is not there for next time you feel low.
Big hugs Lizz, chin up.
xxx
Keep your eye on the goal, trust in 810... followed to the letter, it will give you great losses.
The anorexia comment seems odd... not what I'd have concluded, anyway! I'd be worried for a different reason, in case your subconscious was planning a binge. BUT I have done a lot of 'surrogate' choccy buying in the past, buying & giving away lots of choc to others, and getting a kick from that without any cals. So could it be that kind of thing? I would all the same get those chocs & sweets out of the house, so temptation is not there for next time you feel low.
Big hugs Lizz, chin up.
xxx
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
today feels like a whole new day which is superb!
This morning DH, my Dad and i did a 5km run for Bliss, the prem baby charity! My DD was born 2 months early weighing 3lbs. She was in Special care for 4 weeks and we had a lot of time in the hospital looking after her, and being looked after by a wonderful bunch of nurses. The only thing we didnt get really was that aftercare when DD came home.....Bliss does that side of things as well! If only we'd known at the time!
So it took my 64 year old dad (ex-marathon runner) 20 minutes to run 5k (GIT!) and it took me (and poor DH stayed with me) 40 min which i didnt think was too bad considering i've been pretty much out of action for a month and havent done any training! I ran about half of it, and brisk walked the other half....but my asthma is bad and wouldnt let me run all of it!
Feeling a bit achy now but happy!
I have been occupied with that, then we popped to the shops and bought Singstar for the PS3 and got some nibbles in poundland and Holland and Barrett to take with us to Disneyland next week....i mix of crap and good food! I know i will gain while i'm away but i'm determined to be straight back on plan when we get back so such is life!
I had a shake when i got back from the run to give me some energy and it took a while to kick in but i feel fine now. Have had Chicken, some cottage cheese and asparagus for dinner whilst watching x-factor (i'm so obsessed!) and genuinely feel really good today!
Think DH and i are going to go swimming tomorrow morning...I used to be a really strong/good swimmer when i was fat, so i dont know how i will be now im skinny...but we'll find out tomorrow!
Also, have to make a banner for our best mates for when they get back home from honeymoon so i will also be painting tomorrow!
Oh....and while i'm being creative....i made Salt dough the other day to make some little plaques to go in home made christmas hampers and painted them yesterday and they look fab so need to make a load more now we're happy with how the first ones turned out so that might be a job for tomorrow too!
So tomorrow i have plans for keeping myself occupied so all good!
Feeling a whole lot better about food today which is a miracle considering i have had a really bad week since coming back from the wedding!
Hope everyone else is having a super day!
x
This morning DH, my Dad and i did a 5km run for Bliss, the prem baby charity! My DD was born 2 months early weighing 3lbs. She was in Special care for 4 weeks and we had a lot of time in the hospital looking after her, and being looked after by a wonderful bunch of nurses. The only thing we didnt get really was that aftercare when DD came home.....Bliss does that side of things as well! If only we'd known at the time!
So it took my 64 year old dad (ex-marathon runner) 20 minutes to run 5k (GIT!) and it took me (and poor DH stayed with me) 40 min which i didnt think was too bad considering i've been pretty much out of action for a month and havent done any training! I ran about half of it, and brisk walked the other half....but my asthma is bad and wouldnt let me run all of it!
Feeling a bit achy now but happy!
I have been occupied with that, then we popped to the shops and bought Singstar for the PS3 and got some nibbles in poundland and Holland and Barrett to take with us to Disneyland next week....i mix of crap and good food! I know i will gain while i'm away but i'm determined to be straight back on plan when we get back so such is life!
I had a shake when i got back from the run to give me some energy and it took a while to kick in but i feel fine now. Have had Chicken, some cottage cheese and asparagus for dinner whilst watching x-factor (i'm so obsessed!) and genuinely feel really good today!
Think DH and i are going to go swimming tomorrow morning...I used to be a really strong/good swimmer when i was fat, so i dont know how i will be now im skinny...but we'll find out tomorrow!
Also, have to make a banner for our best mates for when they get back home from honeymoon so i will also be painting tomorrow!
Oh....and while i'm being creative....i made Salt dough the other day to make some little plaques to go in home made christmas hampers and painted them yesterday and they look fab so need to make a load more now we're happy with how the first ones turned out so that might be a job for tomorrow too!
So tomorrow i have plans for keeping myself occupied so all good!
Feeling a whole lot better about food today which is a miracle considering i have had a really bad week since coming back from the wedding!
Hope everyone else is having a super day!
x
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Hey Liz, do we get to see a photograph of your salt dough plaques... I love that sort of thing. Good to hear you managed to do the 5K run in 40 minutes... not bad at all and that you didn't feel too bad afterwards either.
Bet you are really excited about Disneyland next week, hopefully you wont put on too much weight as you will be quite active, but if you do, it should come off quite quickly too, so dont worry about it and have a good time...
Good to hear you are feeling much better and are back on track, whilst I was dieting I never went off track as I knew I wouldn't be able to get back on afterwards, so I spent my birthday eating my quorn... lol and would gaze on enviously at all the childrens birthday cakes whilst on the diet, but at least with the Cambridge Diet we are on it for a shorter time than we would be with say Weight Watchers. I was just so eager to get to goal I didn't want to put any obstacles in my way. Hope you have a good week.
Bet you are really excited about Disneyland next week, hopefully you wont put on too much weight as you will be quite active, but if you do, it should come off quite quickly too, so dont worry about it and have a good time...
Good to hear you are feeling much better and are back on track, whilst I was dieting I never went off track as I knew I wouldn't be able to get back on afterwards, so I spent my birthday eating my quorn... lol and would gaze on enviously at all the childrens birthday cakes whilst on the diet, but at least with the Cambridge Diet we are on it for a shorter time than we would be with say Weight Watchers. I was just so eager to get to goal I didn't want to put any obstacles in my way. Hope you have a good week.
Wales
Silver Member
Well done on the run Lizz that is a great time, and it has obviously given you a real buzz! Don't stress about gaining weight on holiday it is not a definite, but what you could gain would only be carb/ water weight - unless you go totally off plan it won't be fat.
How did the swimming go? I love swimming and should go more as there is a pool in the next village, adult lane swim doesn't start until 8pm and I am cosy and comfy at home by then!
Hope you had a good day x
How did the swimming go? I love swimming and should go more as there is a pool in the next village, adult lane swim doesn't start until 8pm and I am cosy and comfy at home by then!
Hope you had a good day x
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
Today has been a mixed day.
We dropped the little one at nursery, and went straight to the pool. Did about 30 odd decent lengths of front crawl in the pool which was super as i felt like the duracell bunny!
My stroke was improved, my time was dramatically better and my stamina was better! Just goes to show what losing all this weight can do!
We then nipped into town as i needed some A3 paper for the banner, got home and painted that which was super! DH and i played scrabble (I WON!!!) and then we just chilled out for the afternoon!
Going to get the salt dough on the go tomorrow with DH and do more plaques (will got a photo on here when i have mastered them Linda! lol)
Food wise, i've just had chicken and cottage cheese with spinach and cucumber which i REALLLLLLLY enjoyed! Still have to have my 3 shakes for the day which i will be enjoying in bed a bit later! I have never really enjoyed spreading my packs out through the day as i am too picky about how i have my shakes and i dont think i would be able to carry about half a tonne of ice and a smoothy maker! lol.
The emotions have been all over the place today, along with my mood swings and food cravings! I'm been ok re food when occupied, but i do still feel totally food obsessed! Again, its all about buying chocolate and sweets and i have NEVER been like this before! I'm still managing to fight the want to eat them....but its still consuming me a lot!
DH is now at work, DD in bed and i get the lovely task of sorting the washing out so i can pack for DLP!
JOY! lol
Hope everyone is having a super day!
x
We dropped the little one at nursery, and went straight to the pool. Did about 30 odd decent lengths of front crawl in the pool which was super as i felt like the duracell bunny!
My stroke was improved, my time was dramatically better and my stamina was better! Just goes to show what losing all this weight can do! We then nipped into town as i needed some A3 paper for the banner, got home and painted that which was super! DH and i played scrabble (I WON!!!) and then we just chilled out for the afternoon!
Going to get the salt dough on the go tomorrow with DH and do more plaques (will got a photo on here when i have mastered them Linda! lol)
Food wise, i've just had chicken and cottage cheese with spinach and cucumber which i REALLLLLLLY enjoyed!
Still have to have my 3 shakes for the day which i will be enjoying in bed a bit later! I have never really enjoyed spreading my packs out through the day as i am too picky about how i have my shakes and i dont think i would be able to carry about half a tonne of ice and a smoothy maker! lol.The emotions have been all over the place today, along with my mood swings and food cravings! I'm been ok re food when occupied, but i do still feel totally food obsessed! Again, its all about buying chocolate and sweets and i have NEVER been like this before! I'm still managing to fight the want to eat them....but its still consuming me a lot!
DH is now at work, DD in bed and i get the lovely task of sorting the washing out so i can pack for DLP!
JOY! lol
Hope everyone is having a super day!
x
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
another mixed day today with mood swings aplenty!
DD doesnt go to nursery on a tues so it turned into a nice day as a family. I'm back in work on thursday and its terrifying me! They are all so horrible there that it just makes me feel sick to the stomach having to go back in! Going to the Dr's tomorrow to see if i can increase my dosage with the tablets as emotionally i'm not improving.
Food wise, another hard day but successful in that i havent cheated!
I'm having a make-believe curry tonight with quorn, spinach and some spices! Made some super food today for the family....and really healthy which always makes me feel good...esp as when we all go DLP our food might not be as good as "normal" when at home.
Still pondering the whole CDC thing....
tomorrow, we're going for a swim again and then to the cinema followed by another game of scrabble me thinks!
cant wait for saturdays weigh in.....really hope i'm in the 10's!!!!
oh, and i had to buy a size 8 hoody today which was nice!!!
hope your all ok
x
DD doesnt go to nursery on a tues so it turned into a nice day as a family. I'm back in work on thursday and its terrifying me! They are all so horrible there that it just makes me feel sick to the stomach having to go back in!
Going to the Dr's tomorrow to see if i can increase my dosage with the tablets as emotionally i'm not improving.Food wise, another hard day but successful in that i havent cheated!
I'm having a make-believe curry tonight with quorn, spinach and some spices! Made some super food today for the family....and really healthy which always makes me feel good...esp as when we all go DLP our food might not be as good as "normal" when at home.
Still pondering the whole CDC thing....
tomorrow, we're going for a swim again and then to the cinema followed by another game of scrabble me thinks!
cant wait for saturdays weigh in.....really hope i'm in the 10's!!!!
oh, and i had to buy a size 8 hoody today which was nice!!!
hope your all ok
x
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Whoa, size 8 hoody!!!! That's amazing!!!
Envious of the swim too hun, I love swimming but live so far from a pool... but I could go once a week surely? That would be brilliant!
Sorry you are a bit up & down with cravings & emotions. Your work does not sound good... if you dislike the people so much, is it possible to find something else? I once had a job I didn't like & it was soul destroying, just worry that you are dreading it so much?
xxx
Envious of the swim too hun, I love swimming but live so far from a pool... but I could go once a week surely? That would be brilliant!
Sorry you are a bit up & down with cravings & emotions. Your work does not sound good... if you dislike the people so much, is it possible to find something else? I once had a job I didn't like & it was soul destroying, just worry that you are dreading it so much?
xxx
I'm back in work on thursday and its terrifying me! They are all so horrible there that it just makes me feel sick to the stomach having to go back in!
Oh you poor thing, that is horrible. I know it's not that easy but can you find another job? Thinking of you, :hug99:
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
today has been a shockinly bad day and i dont deserve to be happy or slim right now!
I had to go the Dr's for 2 reasons, 1 in relation to my saggy skin and scarred breasts for an op on the NHS, and 2 for more prozac.
So, Dr makes a phonecall to the PCT as i've been refused "for now" and it seems that unless my excess skin stops me from walking, i dont qualify there...and irrelevent of how scarred i am (from an accident as a 2 year old), my breasts dont make the grade either!
I'm devestated!
So I shopped! DH bought me some "hot Diamond" earrings which are beautiful, he also bought me the most gorgeous leather bomber jacket from Oasis....amoungst other things....so to repay the kind, i have just waited until he went to work before binging like a mad woman! chicken shesh (sp) kebab (with no pitta....yeah, cos pitta would just be wrong!), chips, onions rings, chocolate and sweets! Ok, so the pitta, most the kebab and onions rings and some of the chips went to the dog...but that's irrelevent!
I now feel worse that i did before, sick as a dog....and emotionally screwed! I thought i was at rock bottom before, well now it has a whole other lower level that i didnt know about!
I feel awful!
I have really bad OCD and worry/panic uncontrolably at the best of time, but with all thats happened today and me returning to work tomorrow...its just thrown me over the edge!
Still eating right now! Still feel sick! and now....i hate myself even more than i did before!
Sorry to bring such a downer to the diary...i dont deserve to even be thinking about becoming a CDC!
Need to not be around anyone right now!
Back another day...ta'ra
xx
I had to go the Dr's for 2 reasons, 1 in relation to my saggy skin and scarred breasts for an op on the NHS, and 2 for more prozac.
So, Dr makes a phonecall to the PCT as i've been refused "for now" and it seems that unless my excess skin stops me from walking, i dont qualify there...and irrelevent of how scarred i am (from an accident as a 2 year old), my breasts dont make the grade either!
I'm devestated!
So I shopped! DH bought me some "hot Diamond" earrings which are beautiful, he also bought me the most gorgeous leather bomber jacket from Oasis....amoungst other things....so to repay the kind, i have just waited until he went to work before binging like a mad woman! chicken shesh (sp) kebab (with no pitta....yeah, cos pitta would just be wrong!), chips, onions rings, chocolate and sweets! Ok, so the pitta, most the kebab and onions rings and some of the chips went to the dog...but that's irrelevent!
I now feel worse that i did before, sick as a dog....and emotionally screwed! I thought i was at rock bottom before, well now it has a whole other lower level that i didnt know about!
I feel awful!
I have really bad OCD and worry/panic uncontrolably at the best of time, but with all thats happened today and me returning to work tomorrow...its just thrown me over the edge!
Still eating right now! Still feel sick! and now....i hate myself even more than i did before!
Sorry to bring such a downer to the diary...i dont deserve to even be thinking about becoming a CDC!
Need to not be around anyone right now!
Back another day...ta'ra
xx
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Hold on Lizz... and calm down! Wish I could give you a hug right now. YOU are the one who tells me to be kind to myself, to stop panicking when things aren't perfect, to be less hard on myself when i make a mistake and to give myself credit for how far I have come. Well honey, listen up... you need to do that too!
It's so clear that the upset of the doc's visit and maybe the anxiety of going back to work tomorrow has triggered this... you're only human, Lizz! We have used food as a weapon/comfort for so long, it takes a while to re-wire the plugs... but we can & we WILL.
Step away from the food... chuck it in the outside bin. Run a bath, read a book, have an early night... and please, please, stop being so harsh on yourself... you are a fab person and trust me, you'll make a better CDC for KNOWING the downs as well as the ups of this diet.
Big hugs honey.
xxx
It's so clear that the upset of the doc's visit and maybe the anxiety of going back to work tomorrow has triggered this... you're only human, Lizz! We have used food as a weapon/comfort for so long, it takes a while to re-wire the plugs... but we can & we WILL.
Step away from the food... chuck it in the outside bin. Run a bath, read a book, have an early night... and please, please, stop being so harsh on yourself... you are a fab person and trust me, you'll make a better CDC for KNOWING the downs as well as the ups of this diet.
Big hugs honey.
xxx
Wales
Silver Member
Oh Lizz, agree with Katy about giving yourself some slack. You know the binge isn't about being slim or not, it is just in response to the disappointing Drs appointment, stressing about going back to work tomorrow etc...
What has the doc said about going back to work tomorrow, has he signed you back to work?
Don't beat yourself up, ensure you are well enough to go back to work if not go back to the docs and ask for some more help - perhaps different pills or other support??
I am sure you will make an excellent CDC and as mentioned above your experience will only make you a better one able to give more rounded support, but, perhaps this is something to put on the back burner until you are feeling 100% yourself.
Big hugs to you xxx
What has the doc said about going back to work tomorrow, has he signed you back to work?
Don't beat yourself up, ensure you are well enough to go back to work if not go back to the docs and ask for some more help - perhaps different pills or other support??
I am sure you will make an excellent CDC and as mentioned above your experience will only make you a better one able to give more rounded support, but, perhaps this is something to put on the back burner until you are feeling 100% yourself.
Big hugs to you xxx
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
just nipping on to update.
Binged A LOT last night and then finished the rest of the chocs off at 6am on the way to work.
I got to work and had a panic attack in the toilets....rocking, crying uncontrolably, shaking, etc. DH talked me into sticking it out so i did...and it wasnt too bad. It wasnt great being back, the whispering behind my back bothered me but i got loads of compliments about my figure and got called "fit" a fair bit too! lol.
While i had a shake at work, and did some thinking about how to take the day/week forward and this is the conclusion.
I'm still having my 3 shakes a day for nutritian, but i'm going to continue with eating. I am going to Disneyland on sunday and there is no point me beating myself up for 2 days trying to get back on track to come off again...esp after my glycogen is probably already topped up after the chips.
So its all about WISE choices from here on in!
For dinner, i've had 3 quorn sausages, carrots, cabbage, 1 yorkshire pud and gravy.
I plan to have raspberries,blueberrys,watermelon and yogurt for pudding followed by a shake in bed as a hot chocolate later on but i dont want to have those just yet as i feel comfortable following my dinner....i dont want to over do it! Especially after last night!
I feel positive, comfortable and excited to be able to make some decisions.
I no longer have cravings for pic n mix and choc, in fact i feel quite put off by the whole experience which i can only conclude as being FABULOUS!!!!!
I'll still be coming on here to update my diary but i dont feel able to comment right now on others eating when mine is so far away from 810, or any other plan for that matter!
Very excited about DLP!!!
x
Binged A LOT last night and then finished the rest of the chocs off at 6am on the way to work.
I got to work and had a panic attack in the toilets....rocking, crying uncontrolably, shaking, etc. DH talked me into sticking it out so i did...and it wasnt too bad. It wasnt great being back, the whispering behind my back bothered me but i got loads of compliments about my figure and got called "fit" a fair bit too! lol.
While i had a shake at work, and did some thinking about how to take the day/week forward and this is the conclusion.
I'm still having my 3 shakes a day for nutritian, but i'm going to continue with eating. I am going to Disneyland on sunday and there is no point me beating myself up for 2 days trying to get back on track to come off again...esp after my glycogen is probably already topped up after the chips.
So its all about WISE choices from here on in!
For dinner, i've had 3 quorn sausages, carrots, cabbage, 1 yorkshire pud and gravy.
I plan to have raspberries,blueberrys,watermelon and yogurt for pudding followed by a shake in bed as a hot chocolate later on but i dont want to have those just yet as i feel comfortable following my dinner....i dont want to over do it! Especially after last night!
I feel positive, comfortable and excited to be able to make some decisions.
I no longer have cravings for pic n mix and choc, in fact i feel quite put off by the whole experience which i can only conclude as being FABULOUS!!!!!
I'll still be coming on here to update my diary but i dont feel able to comment right now on others eating when mine is so far away from 810, or any other plan for that matter!
Very excited about DLP!!!
x
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
So glad to hear from you honey. I knew you were so sad and shaky last night... but it's behind you now. And today you have been brilliant, facing work and sticking it out and proving you could do it. I bet the compliments helped!
I think eating sensibly is probably a good choice right now, that fruit sounds great!
Hang on in there Lizz, sooooo close to Disneyland P now!!!!
xxx
I think eating sensibly is probably a good choice right now, that fruit sounds great!
Hang on in there Lizz, sooooo close to Disneyland P now!!!!
xxx
curlywurly1234
Cambridge Consultant
Hey Liz,
Firstly I just wanted to say how truly fantastic you look in your recent pics you look fab and you have come so far you should be so proud.
I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday but its great to hear its all behind you today and you sound like you are making the right choices.. I hope you have a wonderful time in DLP........... you cant not have a great time its magical!
Enjoy hon and keep smiling as I know sometimes things can be tough but you really have come so far so keep smiling
xxxx
Firstly I just wanted to say how truly fantastic you look in your recent pics you look fab and you have come so far you should be so proud.
I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday but its great to hear its all behind you today and you sound like you are making the right choices.. I hope you have a wonderful time in DLP........... you cant not have a great time its magical!
Enjoy hon and keep smiling as I know sometimes things can be tough but you really have come so far so keep smiling
xxxx
Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Liz, we all have bad days, but you have done the best thing and put it behind you and moved on.... you cannot keep beating yourself up about it. I had a horrendous day last Sunday, but since then everything has been fine. Sensible eating choices is an excellent way to go, and to not eat when you feel full, which is something I struggle with, I have a set amount of calories in my head for say lunch, and I line up the food and feel the need to finish it, but really I should stop when I feel full... I really need to work on that one, so being able to do that is excellent....
Hope you have a great time in DLP, we have never been there, none of us like Disney, but we occasionally go to a place in Germany called Europa Park, we went over halloween a few years ago and they had 20,000 pumpkins there, and the whole place was made to look spooky with cobwebs and skeletons etc, even the parade was a spooky parade, totally different to the time we went in the summer... so have a really great time and put work and CD behind you for a few day.... take care xx
Hope you have a great time in DLP, we have never been there, none of us like Disney, but we occasionally go to a place in Germany called Europa Park, we went over halloween a few years ago and they had 20,000 pumpkins there, and the whole place was made to look spooky with cobwebs and skeletons etc, even the parade was a spooky parade, totally different to the time we went in the summer... so have a really great time and put work and CD behind you for a few day.... take care xx
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
Its all about sensible choices...right?
So i'm guessing a skinny choc bar is sensible? but 4 is just bloody stupid!
Right back to beating myself up again!
Stupid stupid woman!
I really wanted tinned toms on granery bread for tea but ended up with a small cheese and pickle sandwich instead and crisps!
I need bloody shooting!
Just need to get through DLP and then i can go back to 810!
Having a real hard time still! Panic attacks happening more often...never had them before and they scare me!
Food wise, managed to stick with shakes today....came home via Sainsburys and munched an apple on the way back...and then i got home and got bored!
Going to bed now with my tail between my legs!
xx
So i'm guessing a skinny choc bar is sensible? but 4 is just bloody stupid!
Right back to beating myself up again!
Stupid stupid woman!
I really wanted tinned toms on granery bread for tea but ended up with a small cheese and pickle sandwich instead and crisps!
I need bloody shooting!
Just need to get through DLP and then i can go back to 810!
Having a real hard time still! Panic attacks happening more often...never had them before and they scare me!
Food wise, managed to stick with shakes today....came home via Sainsburys and munched an apple on the way back...and then i got home and got bored!
Going to bed now with my tail between my legs!
xx
