Greeneyes11
Gold Member
Lizz, if you really must binge on crisps, have quavers, on 86 calories a pack, when I am not on 810 I have them for lunch with my sandwich.
Lizz's "to Inslimity and beyond" diary
- Thread starter LizzMB
- Start date
Join the club Lizz, I'm being hopeless again at the moment too. Sorry about the panic attacks, I've had only 2 years ago but they were awful, I thought I was having a heart attack. Poor you. x
Wales
Silver Member
Hi Liz, hope you are having a good weekend preparing for your hols. I would ask your docs for something to help with the panic attacks - I had something similar (to do with work) earlier this year and he gave me some tablets which I could take if I was starting to feeling panicked any hyper - think they might've been beta blockers but am not 100% sure. I only needed them once and they seemed to work. That could help with the practical side of the attacks?
curlywurly1234
Cambridge Consultant
Hey Lizz,
Just wanted to say hi and see if you are ok.......I bet your very excited for DLP....... Hope you have a wonderful time...
I hope you have not had anymore panic attacks.. I went through a stage of having them.... but are totally over them now.. its just getting through them hon.
Have a fab time away xxx
Just wanted to say hi and see if you are ok.......I bet your very excited for DLP....... Hope you have a wonderful time...
I hope you have not had anymore panic attacks.. I went through a stage of having them.... but are totally over them now.. its just getting through them hon.
Have a fab time away xxx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Hope you are feeling better when you read this x
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
phew! what a mad couple of days!
Well, i'm bavk now....mentally...i'm getting there...being back in the UK has already knocked me for six but its baby steps.
Went down to london early sunday morning, had a panic attack on the train but managed to calm down eventually...DLP was the most amazing experience but one i'm glad doesnt happen too often as where food is concerned, it was a total nightmare!
I took products with me with the plan to use them....but came back with most of them!
I ate....A LOT of food! I dont think any of it was healthy and the quantities were bloomin huge!
DH told me yesterday that i have noticably put on weight....which i am glad he said as i need that more often...!
It seems i have welcomed back the spare tyre onto my body...its about as huge as my portions were!
I feel so ashamed!
All i have proved to myself is i am far from ready to be a slim person on my own!
Makes me feel really sad but the fat girl i "used" to be really won while we were away.
I had breakfast at the hotel this morning yet because i didnt feel in holiday mode, all i had was a small bowl of muesli and some orange. I dont get why i couldnt have done that at DLP instead of all the croissants!
Back onto SS from tomorrow morning as i know i will be well over 11st for my healthy BMI and i mentally need to kick the "habit" of food again! I never EVER thought this would be so difficult!
Dont weigh in until saturday and i dont even think i want to know! I will go though and have it recorded....!
I c*cked up! BIG TIME!
Feel like a total failure!
x
Well, i'm bavk now....mentally...i'm getting there...being back in the UK has already knocked me for six but its baby steps.
Went down to london early sunday morning, had a panic attack on the train but managed to calm down eventually...DLP was the most amazing experience but one i'm glad doesnt happen too often as where food is concerned, it was a total nightmare!
I took products with me with the plan to use them....but came back with most of them!
I ate....A LOT of food! I dont think any of it was healthy and the quantities were bloomin huge!
DH told me yesterday that i have noticably put on weight....which i am glad he said as i need that more often...!
It seems i have welcomed back the spare tyre onto my body...its about as huge as my portions were!
I feel so ashamed!
All i have proved to myself is i am far from ready to be a slim person on my own!
Makes me feel really sad but the fat girl i "used" to be really won while we were away.
I had breakfast at the hotel this morning yet because i didnt feel in holiday mode, all i had was a small bowl of muesli and some orange. I dont get why i couldnt have done that at DLP instead of all the croissants!
Back onto SS from tomorrow morning as i know i will be well over 11st for my healthy BMI and i mentally need to kick the "habit" of food again! I never EVER thought this would be so difficult!
Dont weigh in until saturday and i dont even think i want to know! I will go though and have it recorded....!
I c*cked up! BIG TIME!
Feel like a total failure!
x
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Lizz, you have always told me about not putting yourself down or labelling yourself a failure etc, yet here you go... NO you are not a failure! You had fun at DLP & ate their food which admittedly was always going to be dodgy, but hey, it was a part of the experience. Don't punish yourself for that! You made a choice not to use the CD you'd bought, and it may be a choice you regret now but better surely to see it all as part of the journey and the learning process.
Be gentle with yourself. Back on the wagon - I'll give you a hand up! And onwards... simple as that.
Big hugs.
xxx
Be gentle with yourself. Back on the wagon - I'll give you a hand up! And onwards... simple as that.
Big hugs.
xxx
Hi Liz - I'm sorry you are struggling so much at the moment.
It's not about what you eat - it's all about how you think about what you eat and about yourself. The more you beat yourself up the worse it gets. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. If you tell youself you're stupid enough times your subconcious is going to drive you towards doing those actions that you call stupid. Just like constantly calling yourself fat is going to drive your body to become what you have labelled yourself.
If, on the other hand you give yourself compliments and tell yourself that you are great and healthy then your body will move towards becoming these much more positive labels.
I'm not sure how true the above is, scientifically, but I find it works that way, be it the subconscious or just that positive thinking has a way of making us feel better generally.
Take a few minutes to read your own messages as if you were reading someone else's posts on here. Imagine how you would respond to them. Spot the difference between the advice you'd give someone else in your situation and the way you respond to your own blips.
You have done amazingly well to lose the weight - celebrate that instead of focussing on the negative. So what if you have put on a little weight while you've been on holiday - It's your body and you are allowed. You're only human after all. There's loads of healthy, light but delicious food that you can choose to eat for the next few days to return to your normal weight. No need to punish yourself by restricting yourself too much. How about making some lovely soup to eat for supper. Carrot and lentil spiced with cumin is one of my favourites and it's the perfect weather for it.
Sorry for the long ramble but I really wish for you to see how amazing you are and what an inspiration you are to everyone here. I guarantee you that not one single person read your last few posts and felt that it was an accurate description of you. We all thought "whoa - Liz is being far too harsh on herself here" (or similar LOL) and I hope you can see this also.
It's not about what you eat - it's all about how you think about what you eat and about yourself. The more you beat yourself up the worse it gets. It's like a self fulfilling prophecy. If you tell youself you're stupid enough times your subconcious is going to drive you towards doing those actions that you call stupid. Just like constantly calling yourself fat is going to drive your body to become what you have labelled yourself.
If, on the other hand you give yourself compliments and tell yourself that you are great and healthy then your body will move towards becoming these much more positive labels.
I'm not sure how true the above is, scientifically, but I find it works that way, be it the subconscious or just that positive thinking has a way of making us feel better generally.
Take a few minutes to read your own messages as if you were reading someone else's posts on here. Imagine how you would respond to them. Spot the difference between the advice you'd give someone else in your situation and the way you respond to your own blips.
You have done amazingly well to lose the weight - celebrate that instead of focussing on the negative. So what if you have put on a little weight while you've been on holiday - It's your body and you are allowed. You're only human after all. There's loads of healthy, light but delicious food that you can choose to eat for the next few days to return to your normal weight. No need to punish yourself by restricting yourself too much. How about making some lovely soup to eat for supper. Carrot and lentil spiced with cumin is one of my favourites and it's the perfect weather for it.
Sorry for the long ramble but I really wish for you to see how amazing you are and what an inspiration you are to everyone here. I guarantee you that not one single person read your last few posts and felt that it was an accurate description of you. We all thought "whoa - Liz is being far too harsh on herself here" (or similar LOL) and I hope you can see this also.
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
tomorrow is another day!Today, took the fakmily to Cadbury world...all good intentions out the window for stupidly obvious reasons.
now have come to accept that i am struggling....but thawt i have ENJOYED my time on holiday with the family so any gain will be worth it as all the food has been enjoyed.
Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start on SS and i WILL NOT GIVE IN!
I am better than this!
My mum really upset me this morning when she said "all that money you have spent and you still havent leant anything"....made me want to scream! I am a size 10 for F's sake....people we're never this interested/concerned with my weight and eating when i needed it at size 24 and 22 stone!!!
Looking forward to tomorrow! Looking FORWARDS being the key now! Had fun, enjoyed the food but thats in the past now! Onwards and DOWN to goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and my work laptop has died on me so barely getting online as DH's laptop is *****!
Hope everyone is ok and sorry i havent been able to comment on all your diaries! Hope tomorrow is a good day for us all!
xxx
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
today is a wonderful day oddly...it was weigh day and after about 10 days off plan i put on 11lbs!
Now you would think this would make me miserable....but i enjoyed every mouthful and after days of being made to feel guilty, i finally stuck up two fingers at everyone and moved on!
Its been a really good feeling so remove all that pressure off my shoulders has been amazing!
I'm back on SS today as i am determined to get to goal...lost sight for a little bit but onwards!
The other great news is that we have already booked our next trip to Disneyland paris!!! we go on 15th of March 2010 and this time its just myself and DH going! EEEK!
All booked and just have to pay for the hotel now which is a lot but it will be worth it!
My work laptop is still broken so still using crappy old slow computer so its not great for loads of posting but i promise i will catch up soon!
xxx
Now you would think this would make me miserable....but i enjoyed every mouthful and after days of being made to feel guilty, i finally stuck up two fingers at everyone and moved on!
Its been a really good feeling so remove all that pressure off my shoulders has been amazing!
I'm back on SS today as i am determined to get to goal...lost sight for a little bit but onwards!
The other great news is that we have already booked our next trip to Disneyland paris!!!
we go on 15th of March 2010 and this time its just myself and DH going! EEEK! All booked and just have to pay for the hotel now which is a lot but it will be worth it!
My work laptop is still broken so still using crappy old slow computer so its not great for loads of posting but i promise i will catch up soon!
xxx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Hey Lizz,
Are you really SSing with a BMI of 25? You should be doing 810 at a minimum. You really are a DLP fan aren't you! Sorry to hear about what your mum said.
x
Are you really SSing with a BMI of 25? You should be doing 810 at a minimum. You really are a DLP fan aren't you! Sorry to hear about what your mum said.
x
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
my BMI is 26 something at the moment becuase of the gain over the past couple of weeks so just using SS to get back down to BMI25 and will then be using 810 to lose the last 7lbs or so.
Fear not, i'm following the rules!
xx
Laura Croft
Happily maintaining
Just checkingmy BMI is 26 something at the moment becuase of the gain over the past couple of weeks so just using SS to get back down to BMI25 and will then be using 810 to lose the last 7lbs or so.
Fear not, i'm following the rules!
xx
x
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
back at work today. BOO! I seriously hate the place but the increase of dosage on my prozac is helping with my mood in general so its not as painful today as usual.
Managed to SS over the weekend which i was amazed about. Tried the peanut crunch bar and i am now totally in love with that so i will be doing some swaps at my next weigh in! lol
Feeling a lot more in control over my food now, craving fruit and veg rather than chocs which makes a pleasent change.
The only problem i have at the moment is my goal weight.
I originally set it becuase of being in the healthy range on the BMI chart, and now i'm now so sure i should be going on that anymore....
Even with my 11lbs gain, i am still happily fitting into size 10 clothes....i have been buying further clothes as my wardrobe was looking rather anorexic and those have all happily been size 10 (or 8 in the occassional instance).
Now i know i will never get down to a size 8 becuase of my excess skin etc, so i am surprisingly a lot more comfortable with my body (never thought i would say that) so why am i still heading for this "number" that seems to hold so much importance?
Does anyone else feel like this?
I just feel like although i'm happy with my size, i still feel like i have to get to 10 7 to get to "goal"....and yet surely my goal has already been achieved with the size clothes i am in?
I dont know. I know i have over eaten whilst on holiday etc (and the ben and jerry ice cream the night before weigh in might be a reason for such a high gain lol) but i am not sure that i "care" so much as its not food i would continue eating at home.....but i would kill for a stir-fry right now! lol.
Maybe my 11lbs on, is providing more of a lesson to me in acceptance again.....i had a fabulous holiday and my only regret is based on how everyone else dealt with my eating habits...!
Anyway, i'm going on so i will run.
FINALLY i get to have a catch up on everyone else's diaries!
Oh, and i will be putting a post on the main board about my CDC which i could do with your help with.....its not a good post either!
xx
Managed to SS over the weekend which i was amazed about. Tried the peanut crunch bar and i am now totally in love with that so i will be doing some swaps at my next weigh in! lol
Feeling a lot more in control over my food now, craving fruit and veg rather than chocs which makes a pleasent change.
The only problem i have at the moment is my goal weight.
I originally set it becuase of being in the healthy range on the BMI chart, and now i'm now so sure i should be going on that anymore....
Even with my 11lbs gain, i am still happily fitting into size 10 clothes....i have been buying further clothes as my wardrobe was looking rather anorexic and those have all happily been size 10 (or 8 in the occassional instance).
Now i know i will never get down to a size 8 becuase of my excess skin etc, so i am surprisingly a lot more comfortable with my body (never thought i would say that) so why am i still heading for this "number" that seems to hold so much importance?
Does anyone else feel like this?
I just feel like although i'm happy with my size, i still feel like i have to get to 10 7 to get to "goal"....and yet surely my goal has already been achieved with the size clothes i am in?
I dont know. I know i have over eaten whilst on holiday etc (and the ben and jerry ice cream the night before weigh in might be a reason for such a high gain lol) but i am not sure that i "care" so much as its not food i would continue eating at home.....but i would kill for a stir-fry right now! lol.
Maybe my 11lbs on, is providing more of a lesson to me in acceptance again.....i had a fabulous holiday and my only regret is based on how everyone else dealt with my eating habits...!
Anyway, i'm going on so i will run.
FINALLY i get to have a catch up on everyone else's diaries!
Oh, and i will be putting a post on the main board about my CDC which i could do with your help with.....its not a good post either!
xx
LizzMB
WILL be Slim!
yesterday turned out to be a day for decisions.
Work was pants and i hated every second.....but i did make some decisions about my food/cd journey.
I have decided that the remaining 92 products i have left will be my last batch. I am moving up the plans and after 1 day on 810, i have been on 1000 today and will be staying on 1000 for a month and then up to 1200 for the rest of my packs.
I'm finding it really easy to stick to so far....been to sainsburys for "green" and not been tempted for any crap food.
The only problem i consistantly have with the plans are quantities....i had 40g of cous cous which looked pathetic before it was added to curly kale, mushrooms and seabass....and then it felt huge! Didnt finish it all and my tummy feels quite tight now so i will have to watch that.
Still managed to drink loads of water today, but the best bit about the day was being able to eat breakfast with my DH and DD. i did them porridge with raspberries which they loved!
So my food for the day:
B: 40g muesli with milk from allowence
L: CD porridge and an apple
D: 40g Cous Cous, curly kale, mushrooms and seabass with a slice of ham (my seabass was only 120g and not the 275g needed)
P: Cambridge Shake
Tomorrow i plan to actually have my CD shakes at the time the book states as i'm not sure if the time of the products effects my weight.
Tomorrow all i know so far that i am going to have egg on toast for breakfast with a CD porridge before i have another meeting which will see me travelling until 2/3pm-ish so then i will be able to have a shake when i get back with plenty of time before dinner. All i know is i'm having something with Curly Kale as i have a huge bag to get through.
I have also asked my CDC to nominate me to become a CDC myself. I really think i have something positive to offer other people so fingers crossed i get through....but we will see.
Loving that my work laptop is working again and i have been enjoying catching up on everyone's diaries.
Take care
xx
Work was pants and i hated every second.....but i did make some decisions about my food/cd journey.
I have decided that the remaining 92 products i have left will be my last batch. I am moving up the plans and after 1 day on 810, i have been on 1000 today and will be staying on 1000 for a month and then up to 1200 for the rest of my packs.
I'm finding it really easy to stick to so far....been to sainsburys for "green" and not been tempted for any crap food.
The only problem i consistantly have with the plans are quantities....i had 40g of cous cous which looked pathetic before it was added to curly kale, mushrooms and seabass....and then it felt huge! Didnt finish it all and my tummy feels quite tight now so i will have to watch that.
Still managed to drink loads of water today, but the best bit about the day was being able to eat breakfast with my DH and DD. i did them porridge with raspberries which they loved!
So my food for the day:
B: 40g muesli with milk from allowence
L: CD porridge and an apple
D: 40g Cous Cous, curly kale, mushrooms and seabass with a slice of ham (my seabass was only 120g and not the 275g needed)
P: Cambridge Shake
Tomorrow i plan to actually have my CD shakes at the time the book states as i'm not sure if the time of the products effects my weight.
Tomorrow all i know so far that i am going to have egg on toast for breakfast with a CD porridge before i have another meeting which will see me travelling until 2/3pm-ish so then i will be able to have a shake when i get back with plenty of time before dinner. All i know is i'm having something with Curly Kale as i have a huge bag to get through.
I have also asked my CDC to nominate me to become a CDC myself. I really think i have something positive to offer other people so fingers crossed i get through....but we will see.
Loving that my work laptop is working again and i have been enjoying catching up on everyone's diaries.
Take care
xx
Sunshine Singer
Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
Yep, yep, yep I get you! I also got to a size 10 and love it and it can be very hard to then keep your goal in mind. We're wearing the clothes we wanted to be in, the compliments start coming, we feel a million times better than we did when we first started cd.... but still i want to achieve my goal!!!!!!
Well done on having a great plan. You've done so well hun xxx 1000 is a lovely plan and the fruit is fab x
Well done on having a great plan. You've done so well hun xxx 1000 is a lovely plan and the fruit is fab x
