Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!
- Thread starter Katycakes
- Start date
Hmmm....:hug99: x
Okay, so what would you do if you landed face down in the cold mud? You'd get up, wash yourself down, work out how to avoid the mud next time and go walking again
:hug99:
I do this all the time! I'm the master of self deception! Every time I truly believe that I have enough self control to have "just the one" and every single time I eat the lot.
I did that with a Starbucks bar of chocolate today....
Hope you have managed to avoid the mud beneath the wagon today! - my feet are dragging in the mud but I'm desperately clinging on to the wagon in the hope of not falling completely
LellyCD
Trying to stay healthy!
hey hun, you'll feel fine hun, just keep on trying and you'll sort it!
had an encounter with some birfday cake meself yesterday hey ho, that's life!
xx
DisneyParis
An Attitude of Gratitude
I think that's what maintenance is all about - maintaining a normal life, with birthdays, meals out etc. As KD says it's about finding a balance you can live with - l'm always quoting that
.
*butterfly*
Silver Member
Have to confess, my wagon is rolling away without me too..... Funnily enough, it has coincided with significantly less posting too. Not that thats deliberate, just that other things are taking priority inthe pre xmas period. Definately a link though...?
I suppose this is what people talk about....... all the hard work being yet to come......keeping your food focus when life just gets busy/normal. I know thats just life, but it sucks....i am going to stomp my feet, shout and scream that i wish this could be easier than it is, its just not fair! Sunday hugs and wishes for some strength to veer from temptation xx
I suppose this is what people talk about....... all the hard work being yet to come......keeping your food focus when life just gets busy/normal. I know thats just life, but it sucks....i am going to stomp my feet, shout and scream that i wish this could be easier than it is, its just not fair! Sunday hugs and wishes for some strength to veer from temptation xx
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Thanks Butterfly.
Today dared the scales, saw 11st 6 and jumped off again quickly saying 'you deserve it...'
Well, I do, but it has to stop there. 1200 again today. Everything goes into Diet Tracker. There are still 11 days left to get this excess 6lb shifted by Xmas and Xmas is no excuse to stuff myself stupid. I didn't last year - did it almost as an 810 meal - kept control and felt very happy. I can do that again. I know it's not just me struggling but I cannot use that to 'let myself off the hook' or say 'it's xmas' and blame that. I have to take control. KD said it... I know what to do... better just do it, then. And why not KEEP doing it, and STOP throwing myself face down in the mud (mud & chocolate are same colour.... interesting).
That is my Old Year Resolution, and my New Year one as well.
xxx
Today dared the scales, saw 11st 6 and jumped off again quickly saying 'you deserve it...'
Well, I do, but it has to stop there. 1200 again today. Everything goes into Diet Tracker. There are still 11 days left to get this excess 6lb shifted by Xmas and Xmas is no excuse to stuff myself stupid. I didn't last year - did it almost as an 810 meal - kept control and felt very happy. I can do that again. I know it's not just me struggling but I cannot use that to 'let myself off the hook' or say 'it's xmas' and blame that. I have to take control. KD said it... I know what to do... better just do it, then. And why not KEEP doing it, and STOP throwing myself face down in the mud (mud & chocolate are same colour.... interesting).
That is my Old Year Resolution, and my New Year one as well.
xxx
I would say this was the hardest challenge for me. How on earth do I make progress when I don't actually care? A million techniques wont work if I don't want to do them; if I don't care enough.
But Katy, what is it you don't care about? You don't care whether you weight stays low, or if you put it all back on again? You don't care if you undo the good work you've done already? You don't care if you go back to 'comfort' eating as much as you were doing previously?
I had to take a step back when in don't care mode, to decide exactly what it was I didn't care about, because it's just a cop out to say "I don't care" when I hadn't thought (at least briefly) about what it was I didn't care about; want I was happy to throw away.
Hey, sometimes I decided that I didn't care whether I returned to my former weight or not. That was a difficult one to deal with because that gave me the excuse to throw the towel in completely.
But, you know, you may care at some point. I knew that though I didn't care at that moment, I may well care further on down the line. I may have to repair too much 'damage' when I did care, and I could find that tough and what if I couldn't lose it again? What if I couldn't get that focus again? What if it was going to get harder each time to lose and I didn't have the power to do it?
The only way I could get around this one was to say "I don't care...but I might do tomorrow/next week/next month, and I could bitterly regret my not caring today" Did I really want to start walking backwards?
Hah. Just cross posted. I have another one coming up in reply to Butterfly, so forgive me if it has nothing to do with what you've just posted here
Yep. This is the real testing time. We all know that Christmas isn't th 25th December. It usually starts mid November, and ends sometime in the new year
There's that underlying thought that Christmas means 'off the wagon'. The thought that sensible eating just aint going to happen, so what the heck. What's the point of it all now. Might as well wait until the new year and try again.
Along with that, there's more things to do. Less time to focus of what we should be eating. Other priorities.
But this is maintaining. There is no on and off the wagon. It's about how you treat each moment. It's about whether you can still keep a good relationship with food pre Christmas, Christmas day, new years eve, holidays, birthdays, illness.
That's not to say that you *musn't* eat more those days, but it's not 'off the wagon'. It's how you treat those days, and the days following. Whether food becomes more of an issue because it's those days. Whether you can find other things or if food is the biggie...the excuse to overeat.
The further I get into 'maintenance', the more I realise that the word has very little resemblance to what I'm actually doing.
Definition:
Maintaining: To keep in an existing state; preserve or retain
I maybe retaining my bodyweight, but everything else is moving. I'm either making progress, or I'm setting myself back. Each time I practice stopping, or do other things rather than eat, I'm moving forward. Each time I treat food with respect and take a normal portion and don't overfill with snacks, I'm moving forward. Each moment I don't overeat just because it's the Christmas period, I'm moving forward.
Otherwise, I'm moving backwards.
Notice I say 'each moment' or 'each time', not each day, because each day has nothing to do with it. If you think in days, you lose the idea of normal eating. Normal eating doesn't come in units like that. You may well have a larger lunch, because the lunch was delicious, or it was something special, or you are just plain hungry, but that doesn't mean that it's a day off. You've just had a larger lunch so don't need so much the rest of the day.
I get to decide what I want to do each moment in time, but there is nothing static about it. There is no 'normal' day. They are just days when I've made choices that will either help or hinder me.
Just throwing out some thoughts here too
So 1200 is going to give you 1lb extra fat loss in 10 days compared to 1500kcals. The rest will be water. Is 1200 right for you? This is considered the lowest (most extreme) plan for a calorie counter (non CD)..and yes, I realise that you are possibly using CD, but it's still very low.
Will you keep to 1200kcal better than 1500? Will you have more 'off the wagon' days because it's so low? Will you get more frustrated with yourself on these calories? Is it the right time and is it a step in the right direction for you or is 1500 more doable? 1500 minimum to help leptin levels and all that..decreasing the chance for pig outs, weight maintenance etc.
You decide
Got to do what's right for you, but make sure you are learning lessons from the past and have a backup plan that will give you a good enough return for your efforts What about planning 1500kcals and letting it go lower if you are happy with that?
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Thanks KD. Xmas fairy come to sort my addled head out.
One of your posts about Xmas... I KNOW I ma sneakily using Xmas as an excuse. Work is majorly crazy, I have deadline for Xmas & almost no hope of meeting it, but have to keep trying so as not to let everyone down. Sometimes, if I eat a bar of Green & Blacks, I get an energy rush enough to whizz through a big chunk of work. Bad habits from the past. It's at the cost of my health and head, though, so NOT a good deal.
I am happy on 1200, but never seem to keep it going for too long. I try to add in a CD hot choc on 1200 days, but maybe need to get some more, and hate doing that, it's like an admission of defeat. But 1500 is maintenance cals for me and I am NOT happy to stay at 11 6. Need to get under 11 and then maintain. I was doing so well, then big stressy stuff derailed me, and the aftermath of that is the work chaos that has resulted... and my favourite rescue prop? Sugar. It doesn't work, and I know that, so better just grit my teeth and work on without it.
Am soaking in all that stuff about on & off wagon. I know. I know, but cannot help seeing it that way after a bad week of choosing chocolate, sugar and carbs, food I no longer LIKE but reach for when I am stressed and unhappy. It feeds the stress, probably. Punishing myself... not worth the good options, the nice food.
Don't care... actually, you are right again, I DO care, and I am NOT going to regain the weight, it is never an option even at my lowest moments. In my head there is a cutoff point, perhaps why I dared to get on scales this morning. But I seem to be trapped in a seesaw pattern, and I want stability... stability UNDER 11st and not above it.
Thanks KD... have to go work but I appreciate so much your words & wisdom.
On the whole, it is OK... I feel less panicky than I did in the summer, and the binges are nowhere near what they were... but don't like the 'don't care' attitude rearing its ugly head again. No, no, no. Big hugs.
xxxx
One of your posts about Xmas... I KNOW I ma sneakily using Xmas as an excuse. Work is majorly crazy, I have deadline for Xmas & almost no hope of meeting it, but have to keep trying so as not to let everyone down. Sometimes, if I eat a bar of Green & Blacks, I get an energy rush enough to whizz through a big chunk of work. Bad habits from the past. It's at the cost of my health and head, though, so NOT a good deal.
I am happy on 1200, but never seem to keep it going for too long. I try to add in a CD hot choc on 1200 days, but maybe need to get some more, and hate doing that, it's like an admission of defeat. But 1500 is maintenance cals for me and I am NOT happy to stay at 11 6. Need to get under 11 and then maintain. I was doing so well, then big stressy stuff derailed me, and the aftermath of that is the work chaos that has resulted... and my favourite rescue prop? Sugar. It doesn't work, and I know that, so better just grit my teeth and work on without it.
Am soaking in all that stuff about on & off wagon. I know. I know, but cannot help seeing it that way after a bad week of choosing chocolate, sugar and carbs, food I no longer LIKE but reach for when I am stressed and unhappy. It feeds the stress, probably. Punishing myself... not worth the good options, the nice food.
Don't care... actually, you are right again, I DO care, and I am NOT going to regain the weight, it is never an option even at my lowest moments. In my head there is a cutoff point, perhaps why I dared to get on scales this morning. But I seem to be trapped in a seesaw pattern, and I want stability... stability UNDER 11st and not above it.
Thanks KD... have to go work but I appreciate so much your words & wisdom.
On the whole, it is OK... I feel less panicky than I did in the summer, and the binges are nowhere near what they were... but don't like the 'don't care' attitude rearing its ugly head again. No, no, no. Big hugs.
xxxx
How come it's so low??
The extra you've been eating should have restored your metabolism somewhat. You are taller than me, and probably a bit younger. It should be more than mine, not less.Besides. Even if it was 1500, you'd probably still lose some on it short term because of the weird way it all works.
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
I put myself down as sedentary as I sit on my bum all day at a laptop for work, very long hours. I sometimes get out for a walk but never proper exercise like swim/gym because I am so far from civilisation... it might be more like 1600 but it's definitely low. Do you really think I would lose on 1500? I never have up to now?
xxx
xxx
Sedentary is usually no exercise. Now, you may think you do no exercise, but the sheer fact that you are out of bed and I assume not incontinent, and can go and get yourself something to eat, means you are getting exercise...albeit 'light'.
I would certainly expect you to be at BMR times 1.2 which would put you higher than 1600.
As for whether you'd lose weight. Ah well, who knows, but I would expect you to if you did 1500, rather than 1500 on the days 'on the wagon' and much more on the days 'off the wagon'
, especially since you've been eating, so have upped all sorts of things, including your body's ability to lose weight.It is a case of finding out what works for you, but you'd need to be pretty short for 1500 not to work in the grand scheme of things.
More importantly though is that you have a level that you can stick with, that doesn't feel a burden, or too challenging and abnormal. Especially this time of year and with your past history.
I know you can do 1200 if you put your mind to it, but I guess I'm looking at the bigger picture, rather than whether the scales appease over a very short time.
Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
Hugs for KD. I also have had a thought... what I thought was 1500 may not have been, as only began with Diet Tracker when trying 1200 a few weeks back. (That tells me something, right? 1200 hard to sustain?)
So 1500 may have been a lot more? Possible.
I have a plan. Trying for 1200 but if I am hungry or have to push the cals for Xmas-type events, I will go up to 1500. So... a zone of 1200-1500. That way I shouldn't be hungry and shouldn't feel bad or deprived. A plan?
xxx
So 1500 may have been a lot more? Possible.
I have a plan. Trying for 1200 but if I am hungry or have to push the cals for Xmas-type events, I will go up to 1500. So... a zone of 1200-1500. That way I shouldn't be hungry and shouldn't feel bad or deprived. A plan?
xxx
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