Man, I am REALLLY being tested these days....

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Blonde Logic, 3 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    My OH half has been in America the past 2 weeks working on our land.

    On his way to the property on his second day in town, he had a flat tire. 20 miles from the nearest telephone or area that would get a mobile signal. He had to hitch a ride, convince the recovery truck to pick him up away from his vehicle and deal with this, the second day there. It cost $500 for the ordeal.

    Reason being - the spare tire that was in the back of the truck, which is stored in my mothers driveway, was gone. Someone has taken it.

    Sadly - all leads and beliefs point to my brother.

    I am gutted and shocked and saddened and sickened to think he would steal from us. He is very flaky, at a very low point in his life, and anything is possible....but I would have hoped he had decency in his boundaries.

    My OH is convinced of it, and he arrives at my moms today, in order for my friend to take him to the airport.

    I am so worried what is going to happen. My husband is steaming mad. His family have been victims of family-theft several years ago at a level much much more serious then a tire. But he is very raw about it all. And I am so terrified he is going to beat my brother up. (I say this, because my brother is a hot-head and will take the first punch. My OH is not the type not to defend himself, and hi is bigger then my bro. And he is very VERY angry.

    If my mom sees any of this, or hears any of this, she will never sleep again. For example, If a cloud blows to the left in stead of the right she has sleepless nights for months wndering and worrying abuot why the cloud went that way. (Daft example - but just the point that EVERYTHING causes her to lay in bed worrying. She has not really slept at all since my dad died in 1993. )

    I am so worried right now. I am sad right now. I am anxious right now. I am just - well - I really want to scream and cry and kick.

    The relationship with my brother is crumbling. My OH is writing him off today and if he is there he is tellinghim that he is dead to him, that he no longer has a brother in law and maybe no sister now too, and for him to never ever come to us for help again. (We are the last two who have tried to sstay on his side in life and help him - but we are through. He is 50, an dhe is such a f*ck up its not even funny, and we just cannot do it anymore). But I know, or fear, this will now create HUGE trauma for my mom, who will then feel she no longer has a son in law, and I will be well and truly piggy-in-the middle!!!

    I have been so stressed and unsettled for so long now, I am at my wits end! I really am.

    I love all my family, their good and their bad. And I feel it crumbling away slowly. And I am so far away from mom. She is 90 and this all knocks her for such a loop, it could make her quite ill.

    And I just feel so so helpless, 6000 miles away - and there is nothing I can do.

    I should be bubbling over with excitement today - i got confirmation I am getting the good local job I wanted, my husband is returning home, and all I can do is fight back tears.

    My neck is like a rod of steel - I can barely move.

    My tooth is killing me.

    My other health (TMI Stuff) is bothering me.

    It just does not end.

    :cry::cry::cry:

    OK. I lost the fight.

    I just needed to vent. :(
     
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  3. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<HUGS BL xxxxx>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
     
  4. charliegirl

    charliegirl Silver Member

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    (((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))).....take take deep breaths chick....it WILL get better you WILL get through this....right now you need to think about you and get back to your positive thinking.....you will feel like you are sinking under all this but you are not grab a hold of anything and anyone that can keep you afloat until you get on an even keel....you can do chick and we are all here for you......xxxx
     
  5. lucylastic

    lucylastic Silver Member

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    Really sorry to hear that BL, and I have sympathy, I too have a nightmare family member, and unfortunately no amount of love and good thoughts and offers of help will sort them out if they don't want to sort themselves out.
    I hope things go ok, and it doesn't end in a fight :( xx
     
  6. EmVeg

    EmVeg Do a little dance!

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    Hug Blonde....glad you vented though.

    Sorry its all going on out of your control - you have every right to feel lost right now.

    I hope things don't escalate and cause the problems for your mother..fingers crossed for you love.

    ((((((hugs)))))))
     
  7. susianna

    susianna Full Member

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    Oh BL it really does seem to be one thing after another for you at the moment. It must be so hard when you are clearly powerless to do anything being so far away and now just have to sit and wait for news.

    I hope that at least your Mom doesn't have to witness the altercation (sp?) between them, perhaps your OH will calm down a little .... try not to worry, I know its hard and hopefully things will fizzle out although it sounds like your OH has every right to be so angry.

    Just count down the hours till he is home in your arms!

    Sending hugs :hug99:.

    x
     
  8. asilasil

    asilasil Full Member

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    Wow BL...what a pickle. Looking at it logically though there is not a lot you can do about the stuff happening over in the states so you will just have to sit on your computer and keep on typing to get it all out.
    Take a big deep breath and concentrate on all the positive things that are happening in your life instead....your new job, your husband coming home and your lovely slim figure.
    In my experience these type of problems always seem far more serious in our minds than they actually are in real life so try not to worry.Big hugs to you hun.
    xx
     
  9. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    So sorry BL

    What a TOUGH time for you. I know you are worried about the impact of all this on your Mom. She must be tougher than you think to have made it this far and done such a good job raising your family.
    You feel so bad because you are so far away and powerless to intervene and help.
    All you can do it let things take their course. Probably just as well you can't intervene.
    It's true we can choose our friends, but not our family.
    Hang on in there, by the way - congratulations on the new job - it probably doesn't seem so important now, but it will when the USA stuff dies down.
    Hugs, call me if you need need a chat.xxxx
     
  10. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Thank you so much everyone. I really hate whinging so much. I feel like such a moaner lately, and I hate that. I really do.....just finding it hard to have that "zing" these days. And I do have things in perspective - I realise, things could always, always be worse. I just don;t like feeling so out of sorts, and I think a lot of it stems from being so far from "home". Not just becuase of the current crisis....but I really feel kind of "lost in a strange land" when things get tough, ya know? I have WONDERFUL friends here, and I don't mean anything by this - but I just miss my best gals back home so much at times like these.....I miss that comfort of people who have known me forever.....I have 3 great friends, one has known me since I was 16, so thats 32 years of friendship - the other 18 years, and the other 10 years. I miss that. A lot. Even my husband knows little of me in comparison- so talking to him sometimes is the same. I just miss comfort of those that really truly know and understand me. THat know the events in my life that make me tick. If any of that makes sense....

    But this too shall pass. :)

    The good news, and my goodness, the real intent of this post (sorry for the above waffle!! I did it again!! :D) ...is to report nothing happened, because my brother made himself scarce and was not there. THank god. I am so relieved.

    But I spoke to my OH, he's at the airport now. He sounded very serious, and said there is a lot he must tell me, things I must know but were too complicated to discuss on the phone. So , tomorrow I will hear.

    Thanks again very much for all your love and support. It's priceless.

    xxx
     
  11. Catwoman

    Catwoman Full Member

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    And the most poignant thing you said was 'This too, shall pass', because it will, in a few days, weeks, months, the feeling won't be as strong or raw and you will be stronger for it.X.x.
     
  12. EmVeg

    EmVeg Do a little dance!

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    DEFINATLEY second LS's post - although I'd up it to 80!
     
  13. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    Sorry things are pants for you at the moment.

    My boss is going through a tough time at the moment and said to us the other day "what have I done so wrong for all this to have happened".

    We replied nothing, sh!t happens and sometimes the sh!t happens to good people and sometimes just all comes at once.

    But you are right, it will pass, and until then we are all here for you to listen to you vent :)
     
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