mental block, fear of losing weight was starting to win

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Misdee, 29 May 2007 Social URL.

  1. Misdee

    Misdee Silver Member

    As some know, i have this huge mental block about losing weight, and get stupidly scared about it.

    The last few weeks, i have been on self sabatarge mode, and snacking. A lot of the time I havent managed my 3 packs as well, which is terrible.

    Today, when i woke up, I made a decision to not let my fear overtake me. I have no idea on what i weigh now, as my home scales are dead (must get them sorted as hubby needs to weigh daily in case he starts retaining fluid, increases of 4lb or more and he needs to call hospital). I have a feeling that i will possibly have gained this week. I am not worried about that, cant do anything about it. But I do need to get over this fear completely. I know that life wont miraculously change as soon as I fit into a size 12, but i do know that a lot of my self confidence (or lack of) is down to my concerns about my weight and how others perceive me. I am Smiley Sarah, always good for a laugh. Losing weight, well, it may mean people see me differently, will it change my personality? I dont know. But I do hope that my self confidence increases soon.

    So today, 100% SS. am back in ketosis already, have been shivering all evening in a new jumper. I did some clothes shopping, some new undies as was fed up of my old ones slipping down as I walked, a new summer denim jacket i na size 18 (can almost button it, i figured I wasnt far off size 20 for jackets with my boobs shrinking), a pair of trousers and two casual tops, one in an 18, one in a 16. And the jumper i have on now. My two eldest daughters also made me buy some jewellery, which i have to say, they do have good tastes.

    I get weighed tomorrow morning, am dreading it, but also looking forward to it at the same time.
    Mini likes this.
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  3. stacey

    stacey i love minimins me :)

    hun am bk on day 1 too

    we can do this together :) at least ur in ketosis, thats half the battle lol

    good luck!!!

    Mini likes this.
  4. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

    Well done on facing the fear hun, I now the scary feeling well.

    I can only tell you about my experience with losing the weight really, its not written in stone at all but here goes!

    I was scared of losing the weigh so much, would I change, sometimes I wanted to change, yet I didnt want to, hope that makes sense.

    Yet have I changed??????????

    In many ways, the answer is No, I havent, yet when I look back, I do see my fat suit was often a cover for the person I wanted to be, rather than the real me. I am the same now, (apart from I buy loads more clothes, and its coz I like them, not because I can do them up!) I sometimes seemed forced before, like I had to be the happy girl coz I was big, and now, I am the happy girl because I am me, not the person who wants to be me. I am more relaxed in company, and love being me really.

    I never really hated myself, in many ways I didnt see how big I was until I started to lose the weight, but now, looking back, I wasnt really that happy, yet now I am.

    Being a size 12 does not automatically make you happy, but goes in some way to make you feel better inside.

    Will you change?? Well I guess the only person who knows that will be you and close friends/family, but I dont reckon you will all of a sudden become a new person, maybe I am wrong, but what I do know is you will be happier and healthier in general, and that will possibly give you a new lease of life.

    Hmmm, another waffly post that I hope makes sense.

    Mini likes this.
  5. spooky

    spooky Banned

    Misdee, You can do this, look how far you have come!
    Ok, by snacking it may take longer than you planned, but by getting back on the SS wagon it shows you want this.
    Don't give up, we are right behind you..:D:D
    Oh and my scales packed in too, (or rather the kids got to them lol) so I got a new set from Argos for a tenner, digital ones too!
  6. smoorecats

    smoorecats Full Member

    Weight Watchers
    When I lost nearly 4 st with LL a couple of years ago (put it all back on and some, but CD here I come!) anyway I got down to a 16 which to a lot of people wasn't small but I was more than happy with it, anyway my confidence went throught the roof, I just felt so much better about myself and I was so much happier!
    The only fear I think you really need to have is how on earth your going to pay for your new clothes and where on earth you are going to store it all? (I resembled supermarket sweep but in clothes shops!)
    Enjoy it!

  7. Daisy

    Daisy Member

    Oh Sarah, I know exactly what you mean. The problem I had was that I though that if I could lose weight then all my problems would be solved. The reality is that my problems were superficial, ie I'll find a nice man if I'm thin, I'll be more popular if I'm thin, I'll be more confident if I'm thin. The reality of it for me was that yes I felt more confident after losing weight, but everything else was stupid. I have good friends who like me regardless of size, I go out with people who like me for me regardless of size ... I needed to realise that I needed and wanted to lose the weight for me and me alone. So I did.

    I've lost over 3 stone, I'm in a size 12, but the bizarre thing for me is that
    my brain doesn't seem to have caught up with my body. I still see myself as a size 16-18 when I look in the mirror, I still think I have lots of weight to lose when in reality I would like to drop another stone, and I have become more body conscious than I was when I was bigger. Go figure! :doh:

    What I can say though is that I never felt healthier and more in control than when I was doing SS properly. I enjoyed the discipline, and the feeling of energy. Didn't like the cold and the peeing every 10 mins so much though! :p I have also managed to not only maintain but lose a bit more weight, and now that I've realised that I'm doing this for me, I feel more positive in going forward and taking control.

    So we can all do this, but we need to not worry about what everyone says. We're who we are regardless of whether we're a size 26 or a 6, and we will be winners! :bliss::bliss::bliss:
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