Mini Diary.... 12 pounds to go!

[mags1x]

Hello everybody on the strugglers/restarter forum!

Well I've been struggling off and on since Christmas, I started a mini diary before and it seemed to help so I thought I would try it again and see if it helps me kick whats left! My last mini diary was in the 'bring your head inside' bit, but I figured this was probably a good place to put this one.

My intention is to spill the beans on everything I REALLY do in a day be it good or bad. Writing things down really does seem to help me...

My husband is away for the next 4 weeks and I would love to be finished by the time he comes home! Perhaps a bit optimistic for me but you never know! (I'm on LL)

Anyway, my 2 yr old is demanding my attention, so I'll add more in a bit...

Mags
xxx

 

[MissPiggyFi]

Great idea to start a new diary, I know the last few pounds are the hardest as the urgency has gone

It will be interesting to read your journey through management as this is something lots of people worry about, and something I unfortunately didn't do myself- hence the re-gain

Good luck with the final push!!

 

[WannaBeSlim]

Hey Mags. Don't know if this will work for you .. but worked for me .. SS until your BMI is below 25 .. I did that this week (well for half this week), lost 5lbs and only have five to go!!!

Worth a shot, isn't it??

 

[mags1x]

Hi Fiona, thanks for your support!

I'm definately doing management! I have soooo many reasons to lose and maintain my weight so I really don't want to mess it up this time, and I really don't think I could cope with starting this from scratch again!

Anyway, on that note, I think I will start this new diary thread by listing my reasons as that in itself could re motivate me (hopefully)

1. The biggie for me is health. When I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes, this has shown my body has a predisposition to diabetes and if I don't keep my weight healthy my risk is severe. If I can maintain a healthy weight my risk is almost as low as everyone else. Apart from that there are all the other health problems I don't want like heart disease etc. I already feel so much better than I did before when under any sort of exertion.

2. Another biggie! I have a daughter. I don't want her to see me obsessed and struggling with weight. Its already difficult for teenagers today with all the size zero stuff, imagine what it will be like in a few years when Hannah is older? I want to lead by example, I want her to see a good balanced healthy way to live.

3. I want to look better and be able to wear nicer clothes (don't we all, lol) I have dropped from a size 18 to a 12 which is great and this is already the slimmest I have been in my adult life. Once at my goal I will probably be a size 10-12 ( I will always have hips no matter what weight I am)

4. I want to finally accept myself for who I am. I'm working on it! I care very little about my stomach for example, its a bit wrinkly,stripey and saggy. However I see that as a side effect of my lovely lovely daughter, and its half my husbands fault so I have become more or less at peace with it. It would be nice if it got a bit better (I'm led to believe it should improve a little) and I still prefer my husband not to touch it lol. (he doesn't seem to mind though lmao). I want to accept the rest of me as well. I am 31 and have noticed the beginnings of aging hee hee, crows feet and laughter lines are sneaking in, I want to be at ease and let myself grow old at whatever pace it happens. Enjoy my life instead of worrying about weight and wrinkles! However mixed in with all of that I think I will only trully accept my flaws when I know I have made the best I can of myself.

Anyway, I think thats long winded enough for today.....

Todays confessional..... I have eaten 10 cadburies roses. I think I may have to leave them with a friend until my husband comes home..... I have already put them in Hannahs bedroom as the worst time is late at night and I know I won't go in there while she is sleeping but that didn't help me at lunchtime today..... I will hopefully be back in ketosis in a day or two and hopefully I might forget they are there (yeah right!)

lol

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

Hi Wannabeslim, I think I need to lose 3 or 4 to hit a healthy bmi so it isn't too much really!

12 pounds isn't much really....

Well Done you though 5 pounds to go!!!! So exciting!

Mags
xxx

 

[WannaBeSlim]

Thanks Mags .. stay away from Roses .. wait another 4 weeks or so and then you can treat yourself!!!

 

[mags1x]

I'm trying to stay away lol, but they just keep calling me!

I find it so hard, but I was ok until my husband opened the tin so I'm blamin him hee hee. (he's not here to defend himself)

mags
xxx

 

[magickmel]

Only 12lb to go mags, how exciting, the end is in sight ! Great reasons for re-motivaing yourself.

Those Roses are little swines aren't they, they call to you "eat me, eat me !" Just take no notice, imagine a dirty old dustbin instead !

Good luck

 

[mags1x]

Hi Magicmel!

Unfortunately I am just not strong enough to defy the roses! I've been up and eating them again....

So drastic times call for drastic measures. My husband won't be pleased but I've thrown them out! I'll replace them a day before he comes home lol. He won't mind actually, I've thrown out about £10 worth of chocolate but thats nothing when compared to my health and he knows that.

Unfortunatly one thing always leads to another and I've also eaten some meatballs.... I'm just on my way to throw the rest of them down the toilet, and I've thrown out the oven chips too. I'd love to empty the house of food but unfortunately Hannah has to eat lmao!

I don't wish my daughter away, I love her dearly, but to be single just now and able to sit in a house with NO food would make this sooooo much easier!

Mags (having a rubbish day!)
xxxx

 

[mags1x]

thats the meatballs flushed...

blimey this is the worst day for eating I have had in such a long time, and I think its all down to the chocolate. I'm glad I've thrown them out I actually feel relieved to know they are not there anymore. How sad is that? And what chance is there for me in the real world once I've lost the weight? I may have to avoid chocolate forever..... but I think I could be ready for that. It had got to the stage I wasn't enjoying them anyway I was just shovelling them in....

Lighterlife has taught me a lot about myself but it would seem i still have lots to learn...

Mags
xxx

 

[magickmel]

Hi Magicmel!

Unfortunately I am just not strong enough to defy the roses! I've been up and eating them again....

So drastic times call for drastic measures. My husband won't be pleased but I've thrown them out! I'll replace them a day before he comes home lol. He won't mind actually, I've thrown out about £10 worth of chocolate but thats nothing when compared to my health and he knows that.

Unfortunatly one thing always leads to another and I've also eaten some meatballs.... I'm just on my way to throw the rest of them down the toilet, and I've thrown out the oven chips too. I'd love to empty the house of food but unfortunately Hannah has to eat lmao!

I don't wish my daughter away, I love her dearly, but to be single just now and able to sit in a house with NO food would make this sooooo much easier!

Mags (having a rubbish day!)
xxxx

OMG throwing chocolate away So absolutely the right thing to do but it is almost unthinkable. I don't know how I haven't broken this diet. Maybe the "don't waste" food message is so strong for me that I would rather resist it than throw it. I think you are blooming marvellous even if you think you are having a bad day. Throwing food away is incredibly strong.:superwoman:

I also think you cope brilliantly cooking for your daughter. I was the spoiled one in my LL group. OH cooks for himself and no kids to cook for. Other group members were cooking "toddler food" and I just think they were great not to pick !

Give yourself lots of credit mags :wavey: !

 

[mags1x]

Aww thanks Mel!

I feel quite empowered having thrown the choc away! I know I'm not daft enough to buy more and I think it puts me in with a chance to succeed!

I've joined cah chings 6 week challenge and I hope to be done by then but I'm going to have a personal 4 wk challenge and I want to lose 10 pounds.

I have put my 4 wk challenge up on the fridge (beside my weight loss graph lol) it has 28 days on it so I will scribble a day out at a time, and the numbers 1 to 12, which I will scribble out a pound at a time as they go. I have written up 12 even though I'm aiming for 10 just in case lmao.

You know I don't mind so much lapsing etc, as long as its 2 steps forward and only one step back. I like having my graph to look at because it tells me the truth. I have been looking at it today and realised since I started at the end of september last year, I have only had 2 weeks in which I stayed the same and 2 weeks when I gained weight. Theres never been another diet I have had this success on.

So anyway, feeling much better thanks for listening (reading)

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

So far today ( its 1810) I have had 3 food packs, 3.25 litres of water.....2 spoons (small spoons) of cheerios and a bite of a baby cereal bar.....

Must do better, theres time yet for the fourth pack and water but must stop munching!

At least it wasn't very much and I don't think I will eat any more tonight. Its great that the chocolate is gone, I know I would have been nibbling on them again!

Mags
xxx

 

[magickmel]

Aww thanks Mel!

I feel quite empowered having thrown the choc away! I know I'm not daft enough to buy more and I think it puts me in with a chance to succeed!

Empowerment - yes that's the word ! A very empowering thing to do

I've joined cah chings 6 week challenge and I hope to be done by then but I'm going to have a personal 4 wk challenge and I want to lose 10 pounds.

Good idea, I did the valentine one and haven't signed up for another yet but its good to have a target to aim for

I have put my 4 wk challenge up on the fridge (beside my weight loss graph lol) it has 28 days on it so I will scribble a day out at a time, and the numbers 1 to 12, which I will scribble out a pound at a time as they go. I have written up 12 even though I'm aiming for 10 just in case lmao.

Have you got any piccies on the fridge too to remind you of where you came from ? I find looking back at pre-LL photos really scarey coz I don't want to go back there !

You know I don't mind so much lapsing etc, as long as its 2 steps forward and only one step back. I like having my graph to look at because it tells me the truth. I have been looking at it today and realised since I started at the end of september last year, I have only had 2 weeks in which I stayed the same and 2 weeks when I gained weight. Theres never been another diet I have had this success on.

Exactly so you know you can do this !!!!

So anyway, feeling much better thanks for listening (reading)
Pleasure, you always post such good sense yourself on threads and I know you have done really well.
Mags
xxx

Just tiny tiny lapses today which could have led on to big binges and didn't ! Hurray !

 

[mags1x]

Well, I had a visitor, so I haven't ended up finishing my water, but I have had 3 and a half litres, and I am swigging my last food pack just now. I'll try and have another drink of water before bed, only thing is I want an early night so can't drink too much now lol.

I have had a couple of cups of peppermint tea as well, and although I know it doesn't count towards your water, I think its at least better than normal tea.

Oh well, its not been a bad day!

Mags
xxxx

 

[mags1x]

Well despite my best intentions, I've been rubbish these past couple of days....

However....

I am absolutely positively definately going to have a perfect week! There I said it so you lot can have a good go at me if I don't lol!

I am getting weighed tonight and I am expecting to have stayed the same perhaps even gained so we will just have to wait and see.

As you know I have thrown out the roses and chips, I have also disposed of (ok eaten some binned others) crisps and biscuits, after all my 2 year old doesn't NEED any of that either, theres still lots of yummy stuff she can have that is less tempting to me. I have some food already cooked ahead and frozen for her so I don't have to cook, and I'm going to do some more. I can cook and freeze a lot in one night, it'll be one night of willpower needed in a week instead of 7!

so..... are you with me? are you gonna have a perfect week to?
I can do this really I can!!!

Good luck everybody!

mags
xxx

 

[magickmel]

Well despite my best intentions, I've been rubbish these past couple of days....

However....

I am absolutely positively definately going to have a perfect week! There I said it so you lot can have a good go at me if I don't lol!

I am getting weighed tonight and I am expecting to have stayed the same perhaps even gained so we will just have to wait and see.

As you know I have thrown out the roses and chips, I have also disposed of (ok eaten some binned others) crisps and biscuits, after all my 2 year old doesn't NEED any of that either, theres still lots of yummy stuff she can have that is less tempting to me. I have some food already cooked ahead and frozen for her so I don't have to cook, and I'm going to do some more. I can cook and freeze a lot in one night, it'll be one night of willpower needed in a week instead of 7!

so..... are you with me? are you gonna have a perfect week to?
I can do this really I can!!!

Good luck everybody!

mags
xxx

Yep, I am on holiday next week and I am going to be as good as gold! Although I could have gone posh we are having a caravan so I can self-cater. No restaurant temptation and cooked breakfasts.

So proud of you for all that binning And that preparation for the week ahead, good on you !:superwoman:

Behave yourself when I am away won't you ? I expect to read about your fab week. I know you can do it !

 

[mags1x]

Thanks Mel, hope you have a great holiday!

We bought a caravan last year (the towing sort) as we can't plan hols due to hubbys work, so we thought with a caravan we can at least hop of for weekends here and there, caravan hols can be great fun, and they are easy to take kids to if you have any!

My hubby was always against the idea, but in the end it was him who suggested it hee hee. We had a great laugh when we went away last year.

Hope you have a lovely lovely time!

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

oh and I forgot to confess, I have gained 2 pounds! I am refusing to alter my ticker though, as with a perfect week ahead (DEFINATELY) it'll be off by my drop in on Monday.

Since my 'last supper defiance' last night I have stuck to the programme now for 11 hours. Ok so I've only actually been awake for a few of those hours, only had one glass of water and no food packs yet....but still I've started lol.

Mags
xxx

 

[mags1x]

I altered my ticker lol! may as well be truthful.

its 1300, I have had 1 food pack and a litre of water, need to drink faster!

mags
xxx