Missing mum

Discussion in 'Weight Watchers' started by vanda, 1 June 2010 Social URL.

  1. vanda

    vanda plodding away

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    Sorry in advance for the sadness in my post, but I really need to pour out how I feel something I find hard to do in person.

    I lost my mum last November and comfort ate my way to an extra 2 stone in the following 3 months on top of the 7 I needed to lose. I sort of got myself together and restarted ww in March and have been feeling really happy and proud of myself. Obviously I still missed my mum but I seemed to be dealing with it until tonight that is.

    For no obvious reason I am feeling the loss all over again and cant stop crying. It seems unreal that I will not see her anymore and show her how well I am doing, I know she would be so proud of me.

    I was 48 a few weeks ago yet when I remember about mum I feel like a child again. Anyway want to say sorry again for the sadness but I needed to off load and not comfort eat like I would have done in the past.
     
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  3. chipbutty

    chipbutty Full Member

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    im so sorry about the loss of your mum, but she is here looking out for you, you cry it will make you feel better, forget about ww at times like this BUT get back on track tomorrow, sending you a virtual (((((((HUG))))))) xx
     
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  4. size102b

    size102b Banned

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    Hiya Vanda ((hugs))

    I know its really hard and know you are doing extremely well whilst still grieving,so look how well you have done and remember your mum is with you,around you.Your are right to cry and remember and its natural to feel pain as with comfort eating and not being able to do it anymore its real hard to try and work out how to deal with these feelings other than hide them under food.

    In 1993 I lost my first baby with miscarriage after 6 years infertilty treatment they said was triplets,the pain was enormous then 6 months on my Dad passed away aged 54,a year later I was pregnant with my daughter and when I was 6 months pregnant I lost my nan and 9 days later my father-in-law,I know its different with mums but the pain of these people going was a real heartbreaking pain and I did use food there too.You arent alone and wish I was closer d come give you a hug.
    Im always here please pm me,I know Im :cry: with my stuff but I am more positive now xx
     
  5. clare77

    clare77 Full Member

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    Hey Vanda,

    I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, I lost my grandad at Christmas, so if it helps I know how tough it is to think about your eating habits when you have other stuff going on. Initiallly I starved myself after he passed away but then ate everything I possibly could, resulting in a 3stone weight gain! When i get upset.. I eat! So not a good combination! Your mum would be so proud of you, and you're doing so well! Please don't give up!
    Hope you keep going strong hun
    xxx
     
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  6. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    I lost my mum 11 yrs ago now....and though it does get easier there are moments that will get to you......you are still grieving .....and you need to go through the process to be able to go through the healing process.
    Dont get me wrong you never ever forget them...but it becomes easier.....I was once told after my mum died it takes 3 years until it hurts less....and you know what .....it is true.
    Now the years fly by......but on special days like birthdays etc it is bound to be emotional.

    Do cry when you need to ......(((((hugs))))) xxxx
     
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  7. vanda

    vanda plodding away

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    Thanks for the words of support it does help.

    I stayed within points today so am pleased with that and hopefully tomorrow will be easier. Thanks again
     
  8. size102b

    size102b Banned

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    well done vanda your going to make your mum proud and do this last journey hey xxx
     
  9. Funky Mum

    Funky Mum Silver Member

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    So sorry for your loss. I'm sure she's with you and is so proud of you. Cry when you need to, you miss her *hugs*
     
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  10. jenpen

    jenpen Full Member

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    Hi Vanda,
    Hope you are feeling a bit better today, you are doing so well and I know its really natural for grief to just hit you out of the blue when you least expect it to. I wish I could say that it wouldn't happen anymore- but its important to go with those feelings and spend some time remembering and reflecting. Being sad after a loss is normal. It makes us human. Don't feel bad. Keep on, You are doing so well.
    x
     
  11. vanda

    vanda plodding away

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    Thanks again for the support.

    Had to go to work this morning, very busy so a distraction at least. Obviously still feeling sad but less raw today. It was such a surprise to be hit by a wall of grief last night but as has been said its going to happen. Have got the day off tomorrow so will go somewhere nice weather permitting. If not will have to go shopping for some smaller clothes instead. :D

    Thanks all
     
  12. Funky Mum

    Funky Mum Silver Member

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    Have you thought about planting something for her? A lovely bush or tree?
     
  13. vanda

    vanda plodding away

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    Thanks for the suggestion, Lovely idea but mum was not into anything flowery or nature like. I get that side of me from my dad :D
     
  14. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

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    I got myself a guardian angel for the garden......my mum had a cliff richard rose, which she asked me to care for, 11 yrs and 4 house moves later its still going.....but I have the rose and the angel in a corner of my garden so I can sit and think of her ........as im hundreds of miles away from her grave.
     
  15. Elkay

    Elkay Silver Member

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    I'm so sorry about your loss Vanda. I hope you are feeling a little better. As everyone else has said, how you are feeling is perfectly normal - you think you are doing well and then 'smack' it hits you out of the blue. If you didn't care, you wouldn't feel. I know it's different when it's your mum, but I lost my nan, who I was very close to, several years ago and there isn't a day goes by that I don't think about her still but whereas it used to make me feel sad now it gives me comfort. It does take time though.

    You are doing so well - hope you went somewhere nice with the weather being so nice.

    Take care.

    Lesley
    X
     
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