::mOd-kArEn79's DiArY::

[mod-karen79]

thursday 16th december 2010

breakfast: mint hi-fi bar (B) and 2 satsumas

lunch: WW tomato soup (3.5 syns), 4 ryvita (B), extra light laughing cow (A)

dinner: chinese takeaway - boiled rice, stir fried mix vegetable (5? syns) and some curry sauce (5? syns)

snacks: 2 satsumas

syns: 13.5

 

[mod-karen79]

fuuuuuuuuck!!!!

today my dad was diagnosed with cancer! :cry:

only found out about an hour ago. my brain is fried and i'm all over the place.

he's been having tests on his kidneys for the past year but they've only told him today! he can't have his kidney removed because the op would probably kill him due to the strain on his heart, so they're going to freeze/burn the tumor! they said they've had good results from doing this and are hopeful. thankfully it's not agressive and the tumor hasn't grown in the past year.

i'm trying to think positively.....but that word scares the **** out of me

 

[Louise24]

Aww darling, I'm so sorry to hear this, big massive hug to you.

I know how it feels, my Mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2005, she is thankfully ok now (touch wood), but is so difficult to deal with psychologically (sp?) even now.

If you want to talk hun, please facebook me etc and I'll give you my number, the person I turned to was an old friend from uni who was very far removed from the whole thing, so was able to talk to her openly and honestly.

Really am thinking about you hun, also - treatment is so good now, he's in the right place and getting the care he needs now. xxx

 

[mod-karen79]

thanks lou - it means alot to have support from others. thankfully i work with therapists/counsellors and a psychiatrist, so definately around the right people to deal with it (i hope!)

gonna try and be as positive as possible for him. he gets so down and is such a negative thinker and i think it's gonna be such a massive struggle for him mentally. i wish i could help him more, but i've encouraged him to call the specialist nurses once he has any more questions.

 

[Linzi_C]

Im so sorry hunni! Hard i know but try and stay strong for him...just remember at the same time you need support too so dont try and cope on ya own....my love and positive thoughts to you all xx

 

[Taz]

Omg I'm so sorry, that's really horrible news. Sounds very positive though so everything crossed for you and your family x

 

[mod-karen79]

friday 17th december 2010

breakfast: 4 weetabix (2 x B) with skimmed milk (A)

lunch: innocent veg pot moussaka (2.5 syns), satsuma and blueberries

dinner: jacket potato, cheese (A), baked beans, lettuce and tomato

snacks: 2 satsumas, GOLD chocolate bar (6 syns), 2 malted milk (4 syns)

syns: 12.5

 

[Louise24]

Glad to see your sticking with plan through this rubbish time, sounds like you have a fab support network at work xx

 

[mod-karen79]

yeah i definately have some good support at work. i've had a good talk and cry to my clinical manager who was great. i've decided to send out an email to everyone in my office and management informing them of my situation and asking them not to keep asking how i am. it's not really anyones business but i can't stand the thought of confiding in people and then them telling others when they're not supposed to, so i've layed my cards on the table and asked the team to be understanding if i'm snappy or short with them.

..and how can i forget the support i recieve on here

i'm sticking to plan until christmas eve and then i'm going to have 3 or 4 days off plan.

 

[mod-karen79]

saturday 18th december 2010

breakfast: 3 cauldron lincolnshire sausages (1.5 syns), baked beans, mushrooms, plum tomatoes, w/m toast (B) and ketchup (1 syn)

lunch: 4 ryvita (B) and half tub cauldron moroccan pate (5 syns), tomatoes, mini babybel lights (A), pickle (1 syn) and raspberries

dinner: jacket potato with cheese (A + 2 syns), rice and salad
(going to a youth service staff christmas party in a youth club!!! so might have a jacket potato with cheese as they're doing jackets and chilli and bring your own booze - will take my own cheese!)

snacks: 3 cauldron lincolnshire sausages (1.5 syns)

syns: 12

 

[mod-karen79]

sunday 19th december 2010

didn't wake until 11.30am so breakfast is more of a snack! it's started snowing here and we're off to a wedding reception this evening - hope the roads stay clear!

breakfast: hi-fi bar (B)

lunch: low fat thai supernoodles

dinner: homemade carrot and coriander soup

snacks: banana, satsuma, 2 malted milk biscuits (2 syns), humous and 3 tiny pieces of bread (10 syns?), piece of wedding cake (10 syns?)

syns: 22

went to a wedding reception this evening and stupidly went hungry as ate my soup about 4pm. although i had 22-ish syns i haven't had any A's and only 1 B so hoping that cancels the syns out!

 

[Taz]

That's not too bad on the Syns when you have been to a wedding! I'm sure some of that would count towards your missing A & B's

 

[mod-karen79]

exactly! i counted naan bread as 2 B choices once and managed to lose. my consultant thought it was funny but i thought it was fine

 

[Taz]

I don't see a problem with that!

 

[mod-karen79]

monday 20th december 2010

breakfast: w/m toast (2 x B), scrambled egg, baked beans and ketchup (1 syn)

lunch: tin of vegetable ravioli (2 syns)

dinner: chickpea dahl with added quorn pieces, uncle ben's golden vegetable rice (2 syns) and mango chutney (1 syn)

snacks: homemade carrot and coriander soup, curly wurly (6 syns)

syns: 12

 

[Louise24]

Yum, I'm having chickpea dahl tomorrow night and can't wait, is one of my fav SW meals x

 

[mod-karen79]

Yum, I'm having chickpea dahl tomorrow night and can't wait, is one of my fav SW meals x

i like to thin the sauce with a little water and add quorn pieces - so nice but so bloody filling though!

 

[mod-karen79]

i've got my last team meeting of the year tomorrow and i've spent £35 in M&S today to feed the team. have bought lots of bad things for the meat eaters and some salad, houmous, cheese, etc, so that i can stay in control. will take olive oil seperately so people can add it themselves.

i'm trying to plan my food for tomorrow in advance...

tuesday 21st december 2010

breakfast: banana and 2 satsumas

lunch: greek salad (42g feta (A), tomato, red onion, olives (2 syns) and cucumber), tomato mozarella (A) & basil salad, 28g brie (B), 3 pagan rolls (B), 4 ritz crackers (4 syns), 2 tbsp M&S houmous (4 syns), M&S couscous (1.5 syns) and grapes

dinner: quorn stir-fry (quorn pieces, beansprouts, carrot, broccoli, sugar snap peas, baby sweetcorn, spring onions, mushrooms and low fat supernoodles )

syns: 11.5

 

[Taz]

Looks like you've been busy in the kitchen!

 

[mod-karen79]

only had to make the greek salad and tomato & mozarella salad and the rest was shop bought.

have ammended my food slightly and managed to stay in control! sad that i had a post-it note by my plate and was scribbling my syns down.