My Diary...

[leeds123]

becca - how you getting on? i go on about myself so much i never really ask you? how much do you wanna lose and how far to goal are you? you seem such a pillar of strength and v calm at the same time. do you ever have off days?

its my TOM this weekend and can feel the headache coming on.

agree with you about heated posts on main forum, but i must say i did have a bit of a giggle afterwards!

 

[Beccubug]

becca - how you getting on? i go on about myself so much i never really ask you? how much do you wanna lose and how far to goal are you? you seem such a pillar of strength and v calm at the same time. do you ever have off days?

its my TOM this weekend and can feel the headache coming on.

agree with you about heated posts on main forum, but i must say i did have a bit of a giggle afterwards!

Hiya, my goodness yes I have off days, my poor boyfriend suffers so much with my incessant ramblings about this diet and justifications of why I actually should eat. The best one so far was trying to convince him and myself that the only way I could be truly motivated would be to have a pizza gain a load of weight and feel bad about it. ha ha. needless to say he didn't fall for it. I am having an off week so far too as I have stalled, my first couple of weeks were amazing losses but I have actually gained a pound this week (because of usual CD problems that I will not gross you out with) suffice it to say I thing I am currently made up of a larger percentage of water than the suface of the earth. I am not 100% sure about goal just yet, 8 stone or size 8, depending on which comes first (I am so hoping it is size 8) 6 more stone seems so far away. Get some paracetamol down you before the headache, always prevention never cure, thats my moto with pain.

I have to say I laughed a bit too.

 

[*Shanny*]

Hiya hun well if i talk about myself first last nite i really watchd to eat something so PM AlyB and said what say i have an aplen bar or an apple.

She said an apple and enjoyed it so much lol the same again today at work had an apple after my choc tetra! how i see it no carbs and low in kcal too.! on the 1000 plan an apple is 51 kcal and thats all im eating along with my 3 CD's a day.!

So for you hun reading the yellow book on the 1200 kcal plan thick slice granary bread is allowed so y not try it, what u having on it???

what fruit u gonna have? x

 

[leeds123]

day 40 - wasnt hard today at all, although still not going good with water! whats wrong with meeeee!!!!!!????? its one more day till weigh day and i am hoping for a 3lbs loss. the scales are moving which i am shocked about as i had 2 days off last week. however, this is controversion, but i think the 2 days off somehow kickstarted me again mentally anf physically. mentally it made me want to keep going and stick to plan 100% with no ss+meals etc and physically it seems to have boosted my metabolism. its TOM this weekend so i hope the predictable weight retention does not impinge on my loss this week. but even if it does then i should lose a good amount next week too?

shanny - love the story about the apple. dont see why just cos we are on CD we have to stay away from food. i find that planned breaks help my mindset with regards to healthy choices and also helps me be more disciplined around food. i know you weigh in on sat too so good luck girl!!!

 

[leeds123]

day 41 - eeek! cant believe i am here! it seems to have gone fast and i am pleased that i have lost 3lbs this week and weigh in is not until tomorrow morn so i could lose another pound. amazing in itself as i had 2 days off last week but have been pretty much 100% ss this week. in fact this is one of the few weeks i have stuck to 3 shakes (no ss+, no blips really etc) and it shows that it really works. i was starting to think i was gettig in a rut with cd but its brilliant. its TOM this weekend so i prob wont lose next week, but i am hoping i do lose! will report later re weigh in. just hope i get through today without any probs and blips. gonna try and stay busy and keep up with the water intake, hell you never know i might even lose 4lbs this week! whoop whoop!

 

[Beccubug]

day 41 - eeek! cant believe i am here! it seems to have gone fast and i am pleased that i have lost 3lbs this week and weigh in is not until tomorrow morn so i could lose another pound. amazing in itself as i had 2 days off last week but have been pretty much 100% ss this week. in fact this is one of the few weeks i have stuck to 3 shakes (no ss+, no blips really etc) and it shows that it really works. i was starting to think i was gettig in a rut with cd but its brilliant. its TOM this weekend so i prob wont lose next week, but i am hoping i do lose! will report later re weigh in. just hope i get through today without any probs and blips. gonna try and stay busy and keep up with the water intake, hell you never know i might even lose 4lbs this week! whoop whoop!

Keep that attitude and there is no reason why you can't make it through today 100%, Good luck for your weigh in.

 

[leeds123]

day 42 - just a quick update to say that i lost 3lbs this week! hurrah! actually when i first went on the scale it said i had lost 4lbs but then i went for a wee and went on them again and it said a 3lbs loss. either ay i am chuffed and am happy with 3lbs. thats 18lbs in 6 weeks!!! and i am starting to feel really good with myself. its day off today and then tom this week so may sts next week. wish me luck friends and diary readers and hope you all have a good weekend!

 

[*Shanny*]

Heeyyy hun well done if i was u i would stick with the first reading 4 lbs off??
Well been shopping treated myself to a dress from H&M short flowery for the summer.!

lost 5 pounds today happy with that to be honest, so finally 5 lbs to go now then im done forever.!!
Leeds im happy for you keep up the great work hun.x

 

[leeds123]

dy 43 - valentines day and TOM arrived. oh dear, the less said about today the better. another v naughty weekend. i wont even dare go into the details! however, have to stay positive so CD starts full on for me tomorrow with 3 sshakes and water every day until saturday. know i can have a good week, but must drum into myself the perils of too may bad days! TOM is horrid and currntly lying in bed feeling overtired and hormonal. oh well, had a good weekend if i am honest and hope i can claw back some of the damage. will report tomorrow on what i have gained, am sure its likely to be at least 4-5 lbs but will wait and see and deal with it in the morning. what is it someone said once - things always seem worse in the evening.

oh, and i refuse to sleep feeling angry at myself. so all is forgiven tonight, and forgotten tomorrow..... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[*Shanny*]

Leeds you and me both hun bun 3 CD's and water you can DO it can't you.??
xx

 

[leeds123]

day 44 - shanny thanks for the words of encouragement. have had 2 shakes and 1ltr of water so far but have nibbled on a strawberry (could not help myself). feeling ok but a bit bloated. all my own fault.

on a positive note, not feeling low today at all which means all those TOM hormones may be passing. also, dont seem to be feeling low about CD anymore. its just become a way of life, and its not an 'all or nothing' thing for me anymore. if i have a bad day i always try harder the next and feel more comfortable doing it. in the beginning i felt deprived, down and depressed. i felt it was extreme and scary but now it feels easy and easier. not having to deal with food doesnt seem extreme at all, it seems logical and having lost the initial bulk of 18lbs i feel good about myself enough to stop always having a go at myself. am determined to stick to it this week, and if i get a loss this week it will be a proper miracle! however, even if i stay the same i am ok with it as CD is a long term thing for me now until i get to goal. i no longer see it as a 'can i make to the end of the week' diet. i know this is a rambling post, but need to get all this out.

oh, and my gain for the bad weekend.....5lbs!! eeek, i know i know...... pls dont hate me!

good luck to anyone reading this who is on their own journey....

 

[*Shanny*]

Morninggggggg hun day 2 well it's now TOTM for me today sooo moving over to SS+ i want that evening meal now.Right how's you today? xx

 

[leeds123]

day 45 - no nibbles today but feel so cold and cannot get the water down me. i know its bad and exlains why i have a headache but it really is cold. just havig my second hot shake and hoping t get through today with no nibbles. hope i can lose something this week, may do a short burst of exercise later this week as feel bloated after the weekend and feel like dancing some stress away! cannot believe ext week i will have been on CD for 50 days!!!!!! proud of myself in a lot of ways but wish i could lose more so that people can notice!

 

[*Shanny*]

All in time Leeds, take each day as it comes.x

 

[leeds123]

day 46 - ok today, not great. had my shakes and some more water than usual but have nibbled on a bit of pizza!! dont know why. actually, I do know why - I was so hungry. Just want to eat sometimes, and other times I want to eat but dont actually need to eat. feeling a bit crap but what else can i do but carry on?? I want to lose this week and will if I stop nibbling. almost feel like sometimes I self-sabotage! If i dont lose this week i wont mind as this is a long journey for me. i just wish i could be more dedicated, but feeling down today and am sure that is what is causing the nibbles..... why oh why??????

anyway, at least the scales are going down. I have lost some of my weekend gain and hope i lose it all before i weigh in on Sat. Hope the next 2 days are not as bad as these few. I know a few nibbles isnt the end of the world, but some days the nibbles get me down..... anyway - enough feeling sorry for myself. gonna have a gross toffee shake and then sit down and watch some telly. days like this when i never can see the light at the end of the tunnel........

 

[leeds123]

day 47 - another not so great day, but am pressing on with the shakes. will admit to nibbling on bits of food..... so bad i know!!!! but at least i am trying and with any luck should sts this week which means i can start fresh from sunday. refuse to give in to the demons though and despite nibbles and voices in head telling me to write off this week and stop CD until sunday am pressing ahead with vigour...... not aiming to lose this week now, just aimig to sts and not feel too bad! will be in touch.

 

[*Shanny*]

morning Leeds wi tomorrow for us both chick.
y don't you move up plans now 810 or 1000 plan??
im going up to 1200 tomorrow cant wait.!!

it sounds as if your heart is.nt in CD at the moment am i right or wrong?? xx

 

[leeds123]

love CD shanny, my heart is in it 100%. its just my tummy which isnt.

have lost 1lbs so far this week and have worked hard to stay on the straight and narrow. not a great week though but think once half term is over it will be easier. want to move up the plans soon, maybe when i lose another 7 lbs and am half a stone to goal. too scared to do it just yet...... good luck for weigh in shanny. think i might stick to my 1lbs loss and have a ss+ meal tonight when i watch eastenders. that way i can start fresh CD and consider my weigh in done for this week......

 

[*Shanny*]

love CD shanny, my heart is in it 100%. its just my tummy which isnt. i understand hun.! lol

have a good day.x

 

[leeds123]

day 48 - shanny i have been off plan again! have eaten, although not binged but just had a tiny portion of daal with pitta. i am so sad. why has it all gone so wrong. i only lost 1lbs this week, i know i could have done better. however, wont write anymore as feel crapper than crap so will sign out with a promise to post again soon when i have sorted my head out.....

i need to seriously spend some time talking to myself and will be back in a day or two when i am ready to carry on properly without cheating cd and myself.....

ps shanny - did you have any bad weeks where you just thought it was over but managed to carry on regardless the next week...