My Diary...

Morning hun how's you today? i hope cheerful like me lol? will scales say today 1 pound on that must be from the satday nite out.
So pulling up my socks and decided to SS this week.!

So let's encourage each other this week.x
 
day 58 - shanny, woke up feeling rubbish. really miserable, but by some miracle ended up doing 20 mins on my x trainer and 5 ins resistance and sit ups, then had a shower and my shake and MY GOD I FEEL ACE. really amazing how much exercise can change your mood. i wish i could can this feeling and release it next time i do not want to get out of bed. thnk i am gonna do some light exercise at least 3 times a week from now on just to make myself feel good and maybe to boost the weight loss. although doing just 20 mins prob wont make much of a difference.

got a v difficult week this week as have family stuff (imp) on fri and sunday. so am wondering whether to have meals on fri and sun and do CD on Sat or whether to just not do CD until monday and deal with the damage then. really difficult for me, the event on fri is a sit down meal so have to eat. might do CD on sat to even out the 2 days, we';ll see. also, feeling heavy this week (TOM is mid-next week so maybe that exlplains it) and got a feeling i'm not gonna lose. stil got a couple of pounds to lose from last sat so god knows it i can lose anything this week. i keep telling myself that even if i sts this week i can start afresh next week, and not to put too much pressure on myself but it really is so hard when you want to lose at least a 1lb. anyway, have waffled enough and will go away now with my thoughts - and there are loads today - whats gonna happen this weekend? will i lose this week? shall i upp the water? what effect will exercise have? ......
 
Morning Leeds i left you a reply on my thread hun.
I failed SS had fruit lol trying again today. Deep down i feel as if i can control myself, but then tell myself i need to eat. Not even hungry so what's the point in breaking it then??

Well if i pull it off today i will treat myself to a dress on friday evening give myself something to aim for this weekend (sad) it may sound but i lovely clothes shopping recently.

Happy Tuesday Leeds are you exercising again today? member not for to long hun, and up the water.xx
 
day 58 - another s 100% day .... until the evening. I have nibbled on some tuna mayo sarny filler, bit of cheese, and a piece of chicken. DAMN.... am struggling this week but think it is cos i know i am eating on fri. oh well, gonna keep trying hard and trying not to think negative thoughts.... may do some exercise tomorrow, nothing much, just 20 mins so i can sweep away some cobwebs and maybe the exercise will cancel out the nibbles????????????
 
day 60 - WOW, 60 days.....hmmmm.

anyway, started the day with water and a brilliant 30 mins of my exercise dvd. taking it easy though and only doing 25-30 mins once or twice a week. my god, i am buzzing now though. exercise is TOO amazing at making me feel good and i am looking forward to maintaining when i get to goal and doing my dvd more than once a week. i have done my exercise, drank water and am sat down to my shake. life feels brilliant. pity i cant hold on to this feeling when i keep nibbling. MUST be good today and think i will have a ss+ day as am cooking chicken for the family. dont think i am gonna lose this week as its already wed and have lost zilch. oh well, if i feel thi good i am ok with sts as hope i will lose a good amount next week. having meal on fri and have cancelled sunday meal out as need to get this last stone off and it really is taking forever. how am i gonna cope on CD now that i am losing so slow? will i see it through to the end? maybe i need to stop having my weekly day off and just do a straight run to the end? I know i cant stick to it properly if i dont lose. its the losses that spur me on. will give it until next weeks weigh in to see how i feel and then will have to re-evaluate.

have a good day everyone!
 
Heey Leeds thanx for your message today made me smile lotssss! lol and kinda hit home too.!

I also dont think i will looses any weight this week at all.! xx
Day 60 woo hoo x
 
day 62 and 9th weigh in and have lost 1lb. pleased with this although have been good so was hopig it would be more. am due TOM ext eek so maybe that explains why its not great, i better lose at least 2lbs next week!!! losses are getting painfully slow. HOWEVER, am weighing a dy early this week as going out for a meal tonight. so its 22lbs in 9 weeks.... gonna do my exercise dvd today though so it lessens the damage from tonights meal. its a curry tonight and set menu event and despite my vows now to make right choices i know i will end up eating whats put in front of me!

so no CD today at all but will be having some granary toast later in the day, had a cuppa for brekkie and savig calories for tonight. good luck ladies and hope you are all doing well.

have come back to edit this message. had my morning cuppa tea (heaven) then water then did 30 mins of my dvd and loads more water! I feel great! so what if the weight loss is slow, so what if i am doing twice as slow as everyone else! who cares - i feel good, i look good and although i am not yet thin i am getting there! exercise gives me such a buzz i love it. i am having my brekkie soon to save on cals for tonight and am them gonna spend the evening getting ready for my night out!! woohoo.
 
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day 64 - back on ths shakes this morning and have drunk loads of water. its so sunny outside just wanna go for a walk but got loads to do. off CD for 2 days really so have a 2lbs gain, hoping to get rid of this by monday or tues and hoping for a good 2-3lbs loss.

summer seems so much more exciting when you are thin!!! here's to getting to my goal, being good this week, keeping on with the exercise, drinking more water and being all round virtuous!!! how are you all?

dear diary - it is 7pm and i am back to cnfess. had a slice of last nights leftover pizza! i was encouraged to have it all but the blame rests solely with moi!!! however, all is not lost dear diary, as i forced myself to do 30 mins of sweat inducing cardio and stretches. have had more water and another shake and must admit that the exercise really helped alleviate the guilt. i must can the feeling of how bad you feel when you cheat so that i can reconnect with the gross feeling next time i decide to cheat. not a good start to my week, but i'm not gonna focus on it now. onwards...

ps - the nearer i get to goal the more i panic about letting go of CD and counting cals!! maybe i am subconsciously taking the scenic route so that i buy some more time before i have to (dare i say it????....) 'maintain'??????????????
 
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day 65 - AAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I cannot stop nibbling. i did it yesterday and have done it again today. this was supposed to be a good week but its so hard. woke up today and did 15 mins on x trainer and 10 mins weights. felt great, drank loads of water and then came in the kitchen and nibbled on some food.... arrgghhh. when i weighed yesterday the scales were already starting to show losses so i knew this was gonna be a good week but i seem determined to self sabotage!!! why do i do this? i know ican lose even if i nibble, but nibbling really changes my mindset and affects my mood and makes the rest of the day harder. i have had a good long chat to myself and will not do it again. weigh day is on sat and i must be good. i cannto keep losing one measly pound a week! i dont mind going slow but seriously this is getting stupid. the silver lining though is that when i nibble i compensate by drinking loads so my water intake is up but i need to sort myself out as messing with the diet also messes with my head.

not gonna dwell on it, otherwise evil thoughts (like 'oh keep eating now as this week is now a write-off' or ' maybe you need to stop CD as you keep eating') invade and i will not let that happen!!!
 
day 66 - starving today. ok not literally but its due to be TOM and i could eat a horse. also v little water today as am in and out all day...

felt dizzy last night so had half a small aple before bed. was delish.
 
hiya hun, hope ya ok. you sound very fed up. dont focus too much on the slowness of weightloss at min, focus on what you have lost all in all. you should be proud of yourself chick.xx
 
Heeeeeeeeeeey leeds ive left u a reply on my thread. keep up the good work even the apples hahaha bless ya.

i have added photo's too x
 
day 67 - caved last night and had chicken ss+ meal. loads of water too. drinking loads today and feeling bloated and scales have gone up so hoping TOM comes quick as i need to lose for sat!
 
Here you are (((Leeds))) SS+ isn't caving. At least I don't think so. I do SS+ and wouldn't do any less. You stuck to the plan. There's nowt wrong with that.

I just read back a bit. You are hungry from all your exercise Leeds. I know you are scared to move up the plans but I think you are pushing yourself towards something your body just can't cope with. I hope that didn't come across the wrong way. If you aren't in ketosis because of the picking, the hunger pains must be huge. Take care hun x
 
lawyer - so nice to see you over here! you are so right about it all. am not doing too well at the moment cos i am in and out of ketosis cos i pick at small bits, and the exercise is not helping. also since is started cd i have had toothache, wonder if it is linked???

thanks for your words, you never come across wrong lawyer and i could never take anything you say badly. i do feel like i am heading towards a crecsendo of some sort. either i will come off CD or start moving up the plans. I am a lawyer too - working on something at the moment and just cant get my head round it!!! must be the lack of food.
 
I was really in an imaginative mood when I chose my login. :rolleyes:

I'm glad you are going to make a decision about what to do because struggling like this isn't good for you.
 
not had a good thursday at all. not enough water, one shake, and too much nibbles inbetween. toothache, stress from work and a long journey. feeling v disappointed with myself. only myself to blame for appalling diet in last 2-3 weeks. really hate myself at the moment. wish TOM would hurry up and arrive, i feel so depressed and am hoping i will cheer up once it comes. no losses so far this week. sick of 1lb losses. sick of it all!
 
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