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My Father in Law

Well where do I start.

Thursday I had a call from Colleen saying that Jack, my FIL had fallen down the stairs. The carer called her saying he was refusing to go to hospital, even though the paramedics were saying they thought he'd broken his arms. Now I have to tell you that Jack is not a very nice man, very abusive to his carers and people in general, he's 80 and a stubborn controlling old man. Eventually with the persuasion of Colleen and the Dr (and the threat that I'd come over) he went to hospital. Late Thursday evening Colleen called me to come and pick her up, they were keeping Jack in for observation overnight. Friday they called Colleen to say he had a broken hip, a dislocated shoulder and had cracked both collar bones. I'm still thinking about that one. Anyway, they took him down to surgery on Friday but decided he wasn't strong enough to be operated on.

he was refusing food and drink saying he wanted to go home. They put him on a drip and finally operated yesterday morning. We went and visited him yesterday, but he was pretty much out.

We are told he'll be in hospital for at least a month and the prognosis is not good. Either way I doubt he'll be going home so it's time to find a nursing home for him I think.
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Gold Member
Oh Jim what a hard time for you and colleen. Yes he deffo needs to go into a home now as he could fall and no one might go in for hours.
so sad that he is such a stubborn man. do hope everything turns out for the best xxxx
So sorry to hear that Jim - sounds like the decision has been taken out of your (and your fil's) hands. Hope it all works out ok sounds like a long recovery though.
My thoughts are with you and Colleen right now - having a sick or hurt family member is an incredible stress, especially when they are combative and don't want help.

Shout out if you need anything, or just want to talk.

((((hugs to you both))))


Clean green leafy machine
Dear Jim

like everyone else here, big hugs to you and Colleen.

Your FIL sounds exactly like my dad (who I don't speak to anymore, but it's easier for me, he's in NZ).

Your FIL is getting the best possible care, and if things go well perhaps the time in hospital will make him realise that a care home will be the best thing, so I'll think positive thoughts and hope for the best.

Try and get some rest, both of you.

Susie (((((hugs))))) xx


Never give up
Rotten thing to happen to the man, and sounds like you'll have problems ahead, whatever happens. Not good. Hope your wife is OK Jim.
Awww Jim i'm not normally on this board but hope everything works out for the best with your Fil i'm sure it will.
I'm a community nurse and know how stubborn these old folk can be when it comes to giving uo there home. it must be hard as its all they've worked for :(
Hugs to you and your wife Jim, must be very distressing for the both of you. Hope you manage to pursuade him that a home is the best thing for him - thinking of you all.
Bren xx


Silver Member
Love to you & Coleen Jim. It's an awful thing to happen, but now the decision will be taken out of all of your hands. That might make things easier. S&S x
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sorry to hear about that Jim hope it works out
Hi Jim, sorry to hear about your troubles mate.
Here's to a speedy calming of the situation. :)
Morning all, thanks for your good wishes.

We went and visited Jack last night, didn't stay long as he was asleep or drugged, we left him some clean pyjamas and some fruit. so nothing to report really.


Silver Member
Sorry to hear about your fil,my thoughts are with you and Colleen at this moment.I know how difficult it can be at times like this with elderly relatives we went through it with my grandmother.
The one thing I will say is check and double check any home you consider as they are not necessarily as they first appear.
love and hugs to both of you.
lorna x
Hi Lorna, thanks love.

Oh I know about the care homes, we visited a load some years ago, the difference in quality and standards is amazing.
Jack was awake last night but very quiet, I suppose he's still pretty drugged. I know this is awful, but I peed myself laughing when I saw him, he looks just like one of those hospital cartoons, leg all bound up and raised and both arms strapped to his chest. Sorry.

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