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My Letter to the Vet. **reply received

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
I thought I would post the letter I sent my vet.

Tonight I got home from work to find a postcard from the Vet telling me it was time for Vincent's vaccinations.

I hope they take this seriously enough to really remember, next time, to be prepared.

I am not feeling better about the vets. As some of the initial sadness lifts, I find I am very angry. So we will see what they say. THe main thing, is they LEARN from this. Nothing can change it - its over. It won;t bring Vince back. But it was done wrong. There was no nedd for it to have been.

ANyway - heres what I sent - I hope I managed to get my point across.


RE: “Vincent”


On Saturday, 27 June 2009, my husband and I brought in our beloved cat, Vincent, to be put down.

I write today to advise you of my complete and utter disappointment of our experience.

When I booked the appointment, I was told “It would be best that you have the last appointment of the clinic” and we were booked in for 11:50. This was a relief, that we were to be last seen, as its such an emotional and traumatic event, its nicer when there is a feeling of privacy, etc.

Well. We arrived on time for our appointment, and much to my surprise the waiting room was heaving. There were two families waiting to be seen, there were several people waiting to pay and leave, and there were deliveries and drop ins at every turn. It was a circus.

It took everything I had to hold back my tears, so as not to upset the families in the waiting room, as some young children were present.

We were not once acknowledged by your staff, and it became increasingly difficult to hold back tears as the minutes ticked by, and the chaos of the waiting room grew in intensity and noise.

Fifteen minutes passed. Then 20. Then 30....35.....40....45....

All we kept hearing were the secretaries commentary to others that they were having “one of those days”, and how they were disappointed they could not even have a hot cup of tea, that it had become warm. I wish those were my only problems that morning.

We had to listen to a women rattle off every known disease her cat might possibly have, which when you are sat there with a dying cat, that is most unpleasant to hear. This is not your fault, but had we been in a room, away from the masses, we would not have had to listen to this.

It was quite obvious by our demeanor that we were terribly upset. Mine particularly, as eventually, I could no longer hold back my tears, for the wait was insufferable. All I wanted was a little time, to have a few quiet moments with Vince before she left us. Also, being fully aware how much Vincent hates trips to the vets, I knew she was getting very stressed in her carrier, and I just wanted to be able to cuddle her one last time and to comfort her.

The staff was very loud which again is very discomforting at such a time. And still, they took no notice to my tears, or to ask what was wrong or if they could help.

Finally, after 50 minutes (!!!!!!) we were approached and told, “Sorry to keep you waiting, we are running a bit behind schedule and your vet has now been called to deal with something else.” I advised that 45 minutes earlier would have been a good time to tell us! To this, I was told, “I appreciate you are worried about your pet....”

It became clear to me no one on staff had a clue what we were there for. Also very upsetting. I advised the nurse, through now near hysteria that we were not “worried” about our pet – that we were there to let her go.

I must admit, this nurse was VERY apologetic, and very kind but at the moment, it meant nothing to me. I was beyond that.

She got us into a room, where an unknown to us vet, again, did not know why we were there and asked “what can I do for you?” She had not even looked at the notes. Our notes were not even on the screen.

Vincent was so frail, she required a catheter in order for the medication to be administered, so she was swiftly whisked from the room, and kept away for sometime....understandable they were having difficulty getting the catheter in her veins – but again – this was time I could not spend with her.

When the vet and the nurse came back, everything happened so fast, and Vincent was so stressed and frightened, that she fought the vet, which required them to hold her in such a way I could not be near her – I could not comfort her - or stroke her in her final moments. I could barely even see her eyes which were frantic with fear. I feel robbed of this. And it makes my heart ache that this is the way she died.

I appreciate this makes it difficult to administer the medication, but not once were we afforded the opportunity to try and stroke and calm Vincent down. The vets remarks to me were, in a rather rushed and defensive tone, “we need to restrain her. If she bites me, then I'm of no use to you”, and that was that. And while I clambered to try to get to a position I could offer comfort to Vince, the medication was given, and my Vincent was gone – without my getting a last word or even a last touch. My cat died, frightened and confused, without the touch of her people. It was not peaceful at all. And nothing anyone can do can change that now.

This was the worst veterinary experience I have ever had in all my 50 years. I am sorry you were short-staffed, and had emergencies. I appreciate these things arise. They do however, not excuse the kind of behavior and treatment we endured and the last memory I will have of my beautiful cat.

I hope this letter will be shared with the staff on hand. A little thing like being aware why customers are coming into the surgery would be a very good start to prevent such an emotionally heartbreaking experience for another family. If any animal is to be put down, they should know and be fully aware BEFORE they start their shift, so they can anticipate the customers needs for sensitivity. I found the whole experience disgusting if I am honest.

At this time, I cannot say whether or not I will return to ....... I feel completely let down.

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that's ridiculous. We still get letters about all kinds of things about my Dad even though we've sent a death certificate to everyone.

Seems your vet isn't interested in engaging with owners and their feelings. After the way they treated you on Saturday too, it's like rubbing your face in it. Just awful.

Hope you're doing ok xxx

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
The postcard stung a little of course, but I can;t really hold them accountable for that. They were probably sent from an admin department who maybe doesnt see the notes. But it was poor timimng considering. My complaint is merely abouit Saturday, just to avoid any confusion.

Thanks Rachel. xx


Resident geek
omg BL.. im crying my eyes out at your letter.. Your poor poor Vincent.. Hopefully your letter will stop anything like that happening there again..
x x


Staff member
S: 18st2lb C: 16st3.5lb G: 11st2lb Loss: 1st12.5lb(10.43%)
My heart goes out to you BL, poor you and poor Vincent...this should never of happened, it is so distressing just reading it, the tears are tripping me:cry:

Excellent letter BL hopeful they will read it and take action and not let this happen again to another beloved pet.

Love Mini xxx


Is back in the saddle!
S: 15st1lb C: 14st5.8lb G: 12st7.0lb BMI: 31.6 Loss: 0st9.2lb(4.36%)
What a horrid experience you are going through BL. I hope someone has the decency to take notice of what you have been through and at the very least contact you.
My heart aches for you and Vincent and C XXXX:tear_drop:
S: 15st6lb C: 15st2lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 37.6 Loss: 0st4lb(1.85%)
Good for you BL

I think that it is important to voice your concerns to the vet . Wherever we are, if we get poor service we should inform someone how can things ever get better if we just stand back and say 'oh well, never mind thats the way it is'

This will obviously not make any difference to the loss or pain you are feeling and you have had very poor service for something that should of been treated so delicate, but if they just acknowledge your letter then its a job well done to prevent this sort of thing happening again.

Next time it may be a young child in your position who will not be as strong as you to hold back the tears ... lets hope there is no next time

please let us know of any reply we are all thinking of you and support you 100% at this sad time.

with much love


Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
Thank you all SO much. I do know I just keep going on about this, but it just keeps replaying in my head, and I can't shake it. :(

I have always said, a burdened shared is a burden lessened - but I know I have probably made a lto fo you sad too, and I am sorry for that. This stirs a lot of memories for a lot of people.

So thank you for your support.

I must admit, this is starting to affect my diet too, which is a concern. . :( I need to "build a bridge" and get over it, but in this instance that is proving to be very difficult.



I'm going to be slim
S: 15st10lb C: 15st2lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 40.1 Loss: 0st8lb(3.64%)
Oh BL I wish I could put my thoughts into words like you if ever I need to write a letter to put my point across i'll be giving you a call.
Please try not to do too much damage with your diet it has taken so long to get where you are


I Can Do This!
S: 18st12lb C: 12st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 6st3lb(32.95%)
BL - what a wonderful letter. I hope your vet pays attention.

:hug99::hug99: Loads of hugs. I hope you can find comfort in your actions and keep control of your diet in the way you have worked so hard to do. xx

sukie sue

this is My time to shine!
S: 16st0lb C: 12st10lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 29.6 Loss: 3st4lb(20.54%)
mmm not much to say to that really , disgusting !!! you poor thing , and vincent !!! argh ! read it to my sister in law whos a vet up here , she was horrifed and couldnt believe it HMMM im so sorry for you b.l, i hope youre healing can start now youve sent the letter .... one day at a time xxxxx


Gold Member
S: 12st6lb C: 10st8lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 28 Loss: 1st12lb(14.94%)
well done for writing that letter BL
such a shame you had to have an experience like that, its just not right
daisy x

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
Well, the vet has already replied to my letter with not only a written apology, but also a vase of white roses and white lily's - again with apologies.

It doesn't erase anything obviously, but if it prevents this from happening again, or just raises awareness of staff who have perhaps become complacent, well - thats something. I would not wish this on anyone.

Their reply was appropriate. It was not what I wanted - but what I want is impossible to acheive, of course, so this is satisfactory.

I am going to write one more letter, acknowledging their gesture, and advising now - who I am really angry with is the vet. Her behaviour and decorum in the room - and her brusque handling of the situation, in my mind, deserves a personal apology. I will also thank them for taking my complaint so seriously, and understanding the effects it has had on me and my OH.

Anyway - here is their reply:


May I offer you my sincere apologies for your sad loss of Vincent. She was obviously a much loved pet and member of your family.

Thank you for your letter detailing the events of Saturday 27 June 2009, which I received today.

Sadly, this is an occasion where the whole situation went seriously wrong. I apologise for your experience and can only try to assure you that we will learn from this and ensure it does not happen again. Your letter has been copied to the Practice Manager, Senior Vet and Reception Manager, all of whom will be discussing the incident in depth with the members of staff involved.

However, I am very aware that this does not erase the memories of your cat’s last moments and would like you to know that we are all extremely upset and sorry for the unnecessary distress you suffered.

I realize your concerns are not to do with money, however by way of apology I would like to inform you that we will not be charging you for Vincent’s final care and therefore your balance now stands at zero. I believe this is the least we can do for adding to your distress at an already extremely difficult time.

I do hope you and your family will soon start to feel better and be able to remember Vincent in happier times. If you would like to discuss any aspects of the incident or this letter, please do not hesitate to contact me and I would be happy to talk to you.

Kind regards,
Appropriate response

I suppose it is the best result under the circumstances. I think their letter iswell worded and the gesture of the flowers shows they are aware of your distress.
He does say in the letter that they will be taking it up with the members of staff involved.
We just have to hope they will all learn from this heart-breaking incident and remember that although it's a job for them and they will have bad days, hot days, days they would prefer tobe atthe beach etc, every one of the animals they deal with cannot speak up for themselves and are usually a treasured member of someone's family as Vincent was to you.
They deserve respect and consideration all the time, especially at the end of their lives.
Much love to you hun xxx:wave_cry:

Blonde Logic

Yes. You can.
S: 258lb C: 228lb G: 168lb BMI: 35.7 Loss: 30lb(11.63%)
Thanks SB. I miss talking to you, but just haven't spoken to anyone. Its just been a hard week, but we'll start coming out of it now.

C came home from work last night, and I showed him both letters. He read mine, and he cried. He read theirs, then he could see how upset I was and he cried and I cried and it was very very sad, but now, together, we can start getting over it. Sort of. If you know what I mean. C was lovely - he really was. Making me all teary now.

ANyway - I hope to see you soon - I may come along Monday. I NEED to come along Monday ;) So I think I will. At last, I have found a trigger that I could not avoid and it beat me. :(

See you soon.



I Can Do This!
S: 18st12lb C: 12st9lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 29.5 Loss: 6st3lb(32.95%)
:hug99:Hugs BL. Loads of them.

The letter from the vets was well written and clearly shows they will take the events up with the staff involved. The fast response indicates they are taking it seriously. Hopefully you have prevented this horrific experience happening to anyone else at that practice.

BL - You need to go through the grieving process. It is a natural response to your sad loss. I wish you the best of success in getting back on track. xx


Gold Member
S: 12st6lb C: 10st8lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 28 Loss: 1st12lb(14.94%)
Hi there
i think that they have responded well - the flowers and the zero balance are the least they could do, but many might not have even done that.
Whoever wrote the letter does seem genuinely concerned and hopefully no one else will have to go through what you did.

i hope you get the outcome you want from the vet
daisy x
S: 15st6lb C: 15st2lb G: 10st10lb BMI: 37.6 Loss: 0st4lb(1.85%)

Its good that they replied so soon and i just echo the comments made by everyone else that the flowers and zero balance were the best out of a very bad situation I think that you have done vince justice by doing this and maybe you can put that day behind you and start the grieving process instead of feeling angry about the vets.

with much respect and love


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