*Tia*
Silver Member
Hello to anyone who is mad/bored enough to read my diary.
Well I have just found this section and thought it may good be a good thing to put down on paper (or type) how im feeling, reflecting on my LL journey.
Well a bit of background about me for ppl who dont know me.....
I Joined LL back in October 2008 and got from 20st 3lb down to 16st 7lb (at my lowest) However after kinda coming off LL for xmas and then getting made redundant I wasnt in a good place and money got a problem so I had to give up.
3 years on Im back to square one plus 1 stone 8lb
I actually feel abit sick writing that!
So ive took the leap to rejoin Lighter Life....my reasons? Well quite simply its due to the fact that this is the only diet I have generally felt like its worked for me. I have done Slimming world,Weight Watchers,Atkins,British heart foundation .....so im not shy of trying to loose weight and after lossing 1lb and then putting on 1lb most weeks.....just gets me down!
I need to feel like its possible to get to a better,healthy me!
As I type this im on Day 4...... So im just gonna back step a bit.
I was so nervous about rejoining LL the main thing being that when i did LL first time around you all start as newbies together, this time around you join an existing class. What about if the class dosnt want a new person joining? What about if they were all skinny and look at me like omg your leaving it late to join LL... all these mixed emotions i had in my head. Also tbh another thing was refacing my counceller......would she look at me and think omg look at her now shes put on even more weight.
Anyway I went to my class on Tuesday knocked on the door and a lady answered who was a person in the class to say that you didnt need to knock and just walk in. Anyway another class was taking place (I think a RTM class as they all looked lovely and slim when they come out) so I just kinda stood there in this little tiny room with a couple of other people. Of course I must of looked new so they asked if i was new and if i had done it before and just made general chit chat.
The counceller invited us into the room and she was talking to another lady. I kind of hald waved and she smiled and said hello.
The councellor then walked out and one by everyone went into the other room to be weighed. I did find it strange that she didnt really make an effort to speak to me at this point. So i sat there nervously and everyone was chatting about their weeks and filling in there order forms for their packs. Everyone went and got weighed and come back with their losses. I still sat there nervously. Anyway in the end i went through and the counceller spoke to me said it was nice to see me and that she couldnt believe it had been 3 years etc etc.
Then i went back into class and she asked if everyone had introduced themselves which was an overwelming 'no' I thought this was a bit strange I know if i was in an existing group and a new person come i would welcome them and say hello but they didnt. I had such a lovely and supportive group last time around and i dont feel as though this group will be the same but we will see. Anyway we did introductions then the counceller went through the green book, we all spoke it was ok. then we all left and a couple wished me well for my first week. I hope this relationship within the group changes? Maybe I need to earn their trust. Maybe they have had lots of ppl start and leave? Maybe I need to prove im commited and by me going back each week they will be more inviting. But to be honest if I dont have a welcoming ,supportive group i think im at the stage that i feel like....who cares? I go there each week to get my packs and be weighed and i can do this journey with the support of my loved ones.
I got home really excited I had emptied a cupboard out especially to put my packs in so I put them all in the cupboard ready for my 'new start' in the morning.
Day 1 and 2 went really well because i have done it before i knew i liked chocolate and porridge so i mostly got these. I did get one shep pie....omg yuk I had to throw it away I was actually gagging.
I managed to pull my neck and also get a stinky cold in these few days though! So Day 2 I went to bed early.
Yesterday (day 3) seemed to be a bit more of a struggle on reflection I think that is partly due to my fault. I woke up at 7am and had a porridge at 7:30 before running out of house to go to work. I then had a choc pack about 12. I then usually have one when i get home about 5ish and then one about 9ish which has been working really well and i havent felt hungry or headaches atall. However due to me not thinking yesterday I forgot i volunteer on a fri night and that i wouldnt be home until about 8:15...therefore when i got in i had such a headache and felt bit sicky think because i was hungry.
So i doubled up and had 2 packs. However I did have an embarrassing moment (sorry if this is tmi) but had a really loose bowel movement ....Luckily was only me and hubby at home had wind and well you can prob guess.... how embarrassing would this of been if I would of been a work?!!! AHHHH!
However next week ill be on bars so i thnk it will be easier to manage coz i can do my morning 7.30 and lunch 12 then have a bar about 5 and then have my last pack in evening when get home.
Also had a visit form my parents last night mum knew that I was gonna start but dad didnt. So i explained to Dad that I had restared he was really happy for me and said that he had often spoke to mum about being worried about me and my health and that he may out live me! OMG the fact my dad had worried about this quite got to me. I didnt show it but lying in bed last night I just thought how could i put my family through this? How could i let me weight get so out fo control and make my dad worry??!!! It just compleatly reaffirmed the fact that i am doing this!!!
Day 4 today. Today is going really well. I have been quiet proud of myself today. I knew Saturdays would be more difficult. I went into town today with hubby. We usually do the go to greggs for a bacon roll to start the day. However I felt like I didnt wanna take this away from hubby. So i said are you going for breakfast. He said no to start with as he said it would be fair. However I said I wanted him to do it and so there i was standing in greggs with hubby and do you no what....although it smelled lovely I was so proud that i could put myself in this situation and not be tempted.
We also always go food shopping on a saturday and again i said that i could still come and felt confident to put myself in this situation. It was testing at times...not that i wanted it but more. 'ohhh that look nice' but i just had to remind myself well when im at goal i can have it ,it will still be there.
Had a bit of a headache on and off today but think thats my water intake.
ive also gone through my diary putting down when ive done 50 days ,100 days,150days etc...... I think for me to get to goal (or near) will be 250 days.....thats madness when i think of it like that....250 days and my life can compleatly change. Thats May 2012....bring on May 2012 I say!
Right im gonna shut up now....if anyone has managed to read my babble then im sorry if you have died from bordom!!!:8855:
Well I have just found this section and thought it may good be a good thing to put down on paper (or type) how im feeling, reflecting on my LL journey.
Well a bit of background about me for ppl who dont know me.....
I Joined LL back in October 2008 and got from 20st 3lb down to 16st 7lb (at my lowest) However after kinda coming off LL for xmas and then getting made redundant I wasnt in a good place and money got a problem so I had to give up.
3 years on Im back to square one plus 1 stone 8lb
I actually feel abit sick writing that!So ive took the leap to rejoin Lighter Life....my reasons? Well quite simply its due to the fact that this is the only diet I have generally felt like its worked for me. I have done Slimming world,Weight Watchers,Atkins,British heart foundation .....so im not shy of trying to loose weight and after lossing 1lb and then putting on 1lb most weeks.....just gets me down!
I need to feel like its possible to get to a better,healthy me!
As I type this im on Day 4...... So im just gonna back step a bit.
I was so nervous about rejoining LL the main thing being that when i did LL first time around you all start as newbies together, this time around you join an existing class. What about if the class dosnt want a new person joining? What about if they were all skinny and look at me like omg your leaving it late to join LL... all these mixed emotions i had in my head. Also tbh another thing was refacing my counceller......would she look at me and think omg look at her now shes put on even more weight.
Anyway I went to my class on Tuesday knocked on the door and a lady answered who was a person in the class to say that you didnt need to knock and just walk in. Anyway another class was taking place (I think a RTM class as they all looked lovely and slim when they come out) so I just kinda stood there in this little tiny room with a couple of other people. Of course I must of looked new so they asked if i was new and if i had done it before and just made general chit chat.
The counceller invited us into the room and she was talking to another lady. I kind of hald waved and she smiled and said hello.
The councellor then walked out and one by everyone went into the other room to be weighed. I did find it strange that she didnt really make an effort to speak to me at this point. So i sat there nervously and everyone was chatting about their weeks and filling in there order forms for their packs. Everyone went and got weighed and come back with their losses. I still sat there nervously. Anyway in the end i went through and the counceller spoke to me said it was nice to see me and that she couldnt believe it had been 3 years etc etc.
Then i went back into class and she asked if everyone had introduced themselves which was an overwelming 'no' I thought this was a bit strange I know if i was in an existing group and a new person come i would welcome them and say hello but they didnt. I had such a lovely and supportive group last time around and i dont feel as though this group will be the same but we will see. Anyway we did introductions then the counceller went through the green book, we all spoke it was ok. then we all left and a couple wished me well for my first week. I hope this relationship within the group changes? Maybe I need to earn their trust. Maybe they have had lots of ppl start and leave? Maybe I need to prove im commited and by me going back each week they will be more inviting. But to be honest if I dont have a welcoming ,supportive group i think im at the stage that i feel like....who cares? I go there each week to get my packs and be weighed and i can do this journey with the support of my loved ones.
I got home really excited I had emptied a cupboard out especially to put my packs in so I put them all in the cupboard ready for my 'new start' in the morning.
Day 1 and 2 went really well because i have done it before i knew i liked chocolate and porridge so i mostly got these. I did get one shep pie....omg yuk I had to throw it away I was actually gagging.
I managed to pull my neck and also get a stinky cold in these few days though! So Day 2 I went to bed early.
Yesterday (day 3) seemed to be a bit more of a struggle on reflection I think that is partly due to my fault. I woke up at 7am and had a porridge at 7:30 before running out of house to go to work. I then had a choc pack about 12. I then usually have one when i get home about 5ish and then one about 9ish which has been working really well and i havent felt hungry or headaches atall. However due to me not thinking yesterday I forgot i volunteer on a fri night and that i wouldnt be home until about 8:15...therefore when i got in i had such a headache and felt bit sicky think because i was hungry.
So i doubled up and had 2 packs. However I did have an embarrassing moment (sorry if this is tmi) but had a really loose bowel movement ....Luckily was only me and hubby at home had wind and well you can prob guess.... how embarrassing would this of been if I would of been a work?!!! AHHHH!
However next week ill be on bars so i thnk it will be easier to manage coz i can do my morning 7.30 and lunch 12 then have a bar about 5 and then have my last pack in evening when get home.
Also had a visit form my parents last night mum knew that I was gonna start but dad didnt. So i explained to Dad that I had restared he was really happy for me and said that he had often spoke to mum about being worried about me and my health and that he may out live me! OMG the fact my dad had worried about this quite got to me. I didnt show it but lying in bed last night I just thought how could i put my family through this? How could i let me weight get so out fo control and make my dad worry??!!! It just compleatly reaffirmed the fact that i am doing this!!!
Day 4 today. Today is going really well. I have been quiet proud of myself today. I knew Saturdays would be more difficult. I went into town today with hubby. We usually do the go to greggs for a bacon roll to start the day. However I felt like I didnt wanna take this away from hubby. So i said are you going for breakfast. He said no to start with as he said it would be fair. However I said I wanted him to do it and so there i was standing in greggs with hubby and do you no what....although it smelled lovely I was so proud that i could put myself in this situation and not be tempted.
We also always go food shopping on a saturday and again i said that i could still come and felt confident to put myself in this situation. It was testing at times...not that i wanted it but more. 'ohhh that look nice' but i just had to remind myself well when im at goal i can have it ,it will still be there.
Had a bit of a headache on and off today but think thats my water intake.
ive also gone through my diary putting down when ive done 50 days ,100 days,150days etc...... I think for me to get to goal (or near) will be 250 days.....thats madness when i think of it like that....250 days and my life can compleatly change. Thats May 2012....bring on May 2012 I say!
Right im gonna shut up now....if anyone has managed to read my babble then im sorry if you have died from bordom!!!:8855:
