My management journey

Wow that all sounds fabulous! Well done, I sat and had a small amount of turkey today and am shocked at how full I was.

Your attitude is 100% spot on and I am going to read your maintenance diary with interest - I figure I am about a month to six weeks behind you if I can get my backside back in gear.
 
Well the struggle has started :(

Today didn’t go as planned. I had a small tin of tuna and some cottage cheese for dinner. I actually sat and ate dinner with my husband which was nice. Unfortunately after that I ate a sausage stood up in the kitchen and in secret whilst I was clearing up and just didn’t want to stop myself so I didn't even try. :eek:

It tasted better than what I had just eaten even though I have never been a fan of processed meat and I told my hubby what had happened at the first opportunity as I’m not going to keep anything from him. Oh well, tomorrow is another day, in fact it is another day but one where I can have some salad leaves and fat free dressing to go with my protein which I can have with hebs and spices. :p

If this unplanned blip had happened pre LighterLife then I would have chucked the whole thing in and binged in a big way but there are no thoughts of that nature. I knew I would have problems with this stage and that ssing was going to be easy for me and I accept that my predictions just before starting on LL were right. I'll learn from them and move on to the next day a stronger person just as I have written so many times in response to people who have fallen off the wagon whilst ssing. :rolleyes:

This is my first ever blip and I thought that a blip would devastate me and spell the end, it just goes to show that I took on board the section on all or nothing thinking and am no longer an all or nothing gal. Now that IS a positive outcome and something I am immensely proud of :D
 
Oh Chicken!! I'm so proud of you!

What a wonderful attitude:cool: You're going to do this aren't you. You are going to succeed.

It's not the blibs that matter is it. It's the feedback you listen to and whether you apply what you have learnt.

Keep at it. It can be a difficult journey, but oh...the rewards are immense.
 
Chicken, that is so fab, Im immensley proud of you too.

It really shows that you are thinking about what you do and planning.

Blips happen, its part of the life we all live.

But, its how we deal with them that makes it work. If we didnt have blips then we would all be perfect human beings, and no one is that, it makes us who we are and the person we wish to become.

Im following this thread avidly and have learnt so much already.

You rock x
 
chicken on a mission said:
This is my first ever blip and I thought that a blip would devastate me and spell the end, it just goes to show that I took on board the section on all or nothing thinking and am no longer an all or nothing gal. Now that IS a positive outcome and something I am immensely proud of :D
Click to expand...

And to me this is exactly what LIGHTER LIFE is all about! My thoughts have changed so much and whilst I am struggling to stay abstinent I know that when my time on Management comes, I will be able to control any blips as I have done throughout Foundation. I am convinced this would never have happened on any other diet for me.

Well done, you are doing brilliantly and we are all here to support you every single step (and sausage) of the way!
 
Hi chicken

You really do have such a great attitude for management - you are so right in what you say!

It will be easier now you can actually have a meal (ie thte lettuce leaves!!) have you tried balsamic vinegar?? it's sooooo yummy!

Keep us posted....
 
I had my first LL management meeting this morning and boy am I glad I stuck with LL!

It struck so many chords with me and really helped me to focus on my own personal progression. There was a wide mix of people there from 2 of us on our first week right through to a lady who has been maintaining for just over a year but still comes back for inspiration and the group sessions (free of charge because she doesn’t take the packs).

I learnt so much about myself again this morning and was reminded of other aspects I learnt during foundation that I had forgotten. One lady discovered this week that she had a food intolerance thanks to sticking with the LL plan of introducing the food groups in a controlled manner and doing a food diary charting how she felt prior and having eaten. This was a stark reminder that not only is following the plan the right way to go to ensure you don’t pile on the glycogen but also to be able to chart your physical and mental reactions to each food group to enable you to work out what is the best diet to be having for the rest of your life. :D :D :D

I had my management photos taken this morning and I didn’t realise we had any photos done at this stage so I hadn’t done my hair or anything. I am delighted with my front shot because I look really slim and have a waist despite what my measurements tell me. I’m not so happy with my side view but still happy enough because although not slim, I’m not fat either. :)

My ‘meal’ today was more of a graze throughout the whole afternoon but all of it was on the allowable list which is one thing at least! I had the marinated chicken breast I prepared on Sunday (I'll use less balsamic next time), shredded raw white cabbage and lemon juice and a little bit of salt to draw out some of the juices (which is how the kebab shops do it!), 2 celery sticks with no fat dressing and lastly some cottage cheese with some cropped home grown chives mixed through it. I felt like a big fat bloater about an hour afterwards and felt like a child in a sweetshop whilst I was eating. :p

Technically I haven’t overeaten because LL give no portion sizes but it doesn’t take a genius to work out that I ate too much! Let’s see how tomorrow goes? :rolleyes:

Oh and the other good news is that I can have more than 1 bar a day on LL management. Yippee! :D
 
:p Hi Chicken:p

WELL DONE in the first week of Maintenance. You seem to be taking it very well. Blips are good, **** happens so to speak and hopefully LL will be there and other LL colleagues to support you throughout your journey. Post your Maintenance Photos onto the gallery and let's have a butchers your other ones are fantastic. You have done so well.
 
Wednesday 27th September

I really didn’t want to weigh myself this morning after yesterdays food fest but I know that this is an example of the sort of day where I MUST weigh myself and face up to reality and accept responsibility for the consequences of my choices.

I was hoping that the scales wouldn’t think to badly of me but on the other hand hoping they would as it would serve me right if they did and show me that I can’t get away with making frivolous decisions.

I have vowed to have sensible days from now on starting with today. I actually want to gain some control because not wanting to control my eating yesterday stems from being frightened of failing and knowing that I wasn’t in control and being in denial about it. If I don’t try then I can’t fail – it’s one of my failings that I only became aware I was doing when this was raised in the foundation stage. This is a dangerous place to be and threatens my success just as it has ruined most of my big chances in life up till now so it’s time to snap out of it for the first time ever and learn from the lessons yesterday’s experience has taught!

Today’s 1 and only meal was fillet of trout with lemon juice and dill cooked en papillote to keep all the flavour and juices in, a bowl of white cabbage with balsamic vinegar dressing and 2 sticks of celery with fat free salad dressing to dip into. I thought that the salt on yesterday’s cabbage made me crave more food (probably because it made me thirsty and I got my hunger and thirst pangs confused) so I need to be aware of this in the future. I also need to plan out each day’s meal and stick to that rather than eating ad hoc, having a plan will allow me to make sensible decisions because I am removed from the situation when I make them which reduces my chances of making improper choices.

I did have more cabbage and celery today than would be expected but at least this was kept to just at the meal time with no grazing during the day. The other thing to note from today is that I can’t get enough sauce. When I’d finished the celery and there was still a fair bit of sauce left I used my finger to scrape out the Jack Daniels shot glass I’d put the salad dressing in (so I knew how much I was consuming). Then when I realised that I only had 2 very mini sticks of celery left from the middle of the bunch then I ate those too with a bit more sauce.

I’m going to have to beware of my weakness for sauces because it is a trigger to overeat.

Morning weight: 10st 9.4lbs
Activity: None
Water: 4 inconsistent litres
Toning: None
Weight: Officially 10st 12lbs or 152lbs BMI 23.8 having drunk 1L
Day 4 of the route to management.
 
Thursday 28th September

I’m now concentrating on doing this bit by bit. Since starting management I have had one day of sticking to the plan entirely, one where I cheated and had sausages too, one stick to the food on the plan but eating throughout the afternoon and evening instead of sticking to one meal, then yesterday I had one meal and ate more than was required.

The focus today has been to have the same sort of day as yesterday where I just have the recommended one meal but to stick to an acceptable portion of salad. I had the other portion of marinated chicken I prepared and froze during the week for dinner but ate at lunch time as I couldn’t wait until evening and grilled it rather than cooking it in the marinade because it was too vinegary last time. It was nicer grilled and very tender. :)

Because I had eaten in the afternoon I found the evening very hard to get through so I didn’t get through. I had a call from my hubby saying he wasn’t coming home tonight because of work and I binged on 400grms of luxury mixed seafood and I don’t know how many bits of turkey ham with fat free dressing. These were on the ok list but I ate until I felt ill and I don’t know why I continued because I knew I was doing it. I’m hoping that just the action of doing this will get it out of my system. :(

I need to sit and think up a coping strategy for tomorrow because I know I will need one for then if not the next day. I’ll have to reflect on this overnight so that I can find out and deal with the true prompt for my binge and also think of a distraction technique for the physical symptoms. It’s time to go back to doing some though records again, I have been sadly neglecting this but I know it will help me so I just need to be able to motivate myself to actually be able to want to help myself. Maybe I am subconsciously punishing myself for not being perfect? I am self sabotaging again and have to work out why so I can nip this in the bud. :confused:

Management will be a lot easier for me next week when I can have a snack of sugar free jelly or raw veg and fat free dips as well as my 3 LL packs because I am a grazer at heart. Do I just accept this and then set out my food for the day and graze through it or do I try to stick to the plan and be miserable doing so? I just don’t know, this is where I now start leaning on my LLC which I have never needed to do before. I have a lot of thinking to do tonight. :(

I also seem to finding it hard to stay focussed on drinking the water. This became progressively harder for me towards the end of the ssing but I know it is key to suppressing my hunger or not mistaking thirst pangs for hunger pangs so I am going to have to make more of an effort.

I also need to focus on toning my body too. So I have to work on the water, toning, sticking to one meal and keeping it to an acceptable size. I should do ok if I can do all that. This is much harder than abstaining from conventional food completely.

I must make sure that I weigh myself every morning without fail; I need to be shocked into stopping this destructive behaviour if I can’t think my way through this. I’m scared at what the scales will bring me tomorrow but a big weight gain is probably just what I need to snap me out of this. :mad:

Morning weight: 10st 9.4lbs
Activity: Walked to and from school twice
Water: 4 inconsistent litres
Toning: None
Weight: Officially 10st 12lbs or 152lbs BMI 23.8 having drunk 1L
Day 5 of the route to management.
 
Chicken, thanks so much for sharing this. I am planning to go into Management just after the bonfire challenge, regardless of whether I hit my own goal or not and your diary is fascinating reading.

You are doing so very well, I would imagine the urge to pig out would be very strong given the tight restrictions we have been under and by being so open with yourself as you have done here, I honestly believe that is half the battle. From experience I have problems when I start denying a blip or erasing it completely from my mind and memory.

Good luck with this and once again thanks for sharing so honestly.
 
Thanks for your kind comments Flopster. With my management diary you will get a warts and all view of what will be the the hardest part of my journey. I won't hide or omit anything no matter how ashamed I might feel :rolleyes:


Friday 29th September

Today has been a completely different experience for me in terms of the diet. I woke up with the attitude that I am ssing with a little bit of food chucked in for good measure rather than a lot of food and the packs to fit in as well. I was determined to take each aspect (packs, water, exercise and food) separately and make inroads on each. On top of that I think that finding out that I am 1.2lbs heavier than yesterday helped too but my change of attitude was overnight rather than a result of the scales this morning. I really didn’t want to stand on the scales this morning but I know that this is something I am going to have to do every morning until management becomes second nature to me.

My water consumption has been excellent today, lots of it and consistent so I am back on track. I have had exercise, water, packs & an acceptably sized meal for week 2 and am feeling like I am back in control again so I have that warm feeling of comfort washing over me just like I experienced when I started the diet and knew I would succeed. I’m back on track and in control again sticking within my version of the plan. I had dry pan fried mackerel finished with balsamic and instead of salad I had the 225grms of raw veggies from the list with a homemade natural yoghurt, mint and garlic dip that would have been for the snack and that was more than enough, so much so that I forgot to have my last pack! Dinner was delicious and filling and I was more than satisfied and didn’t feel deprived.

I have deliberately moved to week 2 two days early because week 1 was too restrictive and on week 2 I can practice my grazing whilst sticking to the plan. I’m happy with the way things are going now.

Morning weight: 10st 10.6lbs
Activity: ½ hour riding, ½ hour grooming, walking to and from school once.
Water: 5 consistent litres so back on track.
Toning: None
Weight: Officially 10st 12lbs or 152lbs BMI 23.8 having drunk 1L
Day 6 of the route to management.
 
Sounding positive there Chicken :)

Attitude and perception is everything. I think thats the good thing about LL/CD, we come off gradually.

Gives you extra time to get your head around it.

I remember going to SW at 18.5 stone, and told them that my goal was 18 stone....but I didn't think I'd manage it:confused:

Took a few weeks, but I got there, then had a curry to celebrate.
looney1.gif


Anyway, when I did AAM on Cambridge, instead of thinking 'this is the week I get to eat', I thought of it as another cambridge prescribed meal. Thinking of it as anything else, would have sent me into pacman mode.

I think the refeeding part of either plan is the most enlightening. This is the bit that I learnt loads about myself. Oh, and when I reached the end of the plan.

You've certainly got your head in the right place. It may slip now and again, but it was all part of the learning process for me.
 
Well done Chicken.
You seam to be getting you head in the right place.Love reading what you are doing I am doing CD but know you experances will still help me thanks
{{{HUGS}}}
 
Saturday 30th September

I got a nice surprise when I stood on the scales this morning. I thought I would be more than yesterday because I hadn’t had a big poo this morning and ate late last night and more than I was doing when struggling with the week 1 menu. I’m delighted to be 10st 8.6lbs which is 2lbs less than the same time yesterday and just goes to show how fickle the scales can be. As long as I know I have eaten well then I need to try to be a bit more relaxed about the scales. :)

My water consumption has been poor and the spacing of my food has been poor today. I was in a rush this morning so didn’t get the water or pack I needed to have so I had 2 bars made up as biscuits at lunchtime and picked at the ‘Good for you’ kiddies biscuits that were left over from my daughter and her friends lunch boxes bought from the Asda cafe, this made me want more but we don’t keep these sorts of things in the house so there wasn’t any thank goodness. :eek: Then because it is the weekend I had my snack at lunchtime and my meal in the evening instead. Because my daughter shared my dinner I used this as an excuse to have another plateful of salad with her. Not too bad in the scheme of things but what struck me at the time was just how much I missed eating with her and how easy it is to get a 4 year to eat the good things in life if you are setting them the right example. :D

I love having the raw veggies crudities to nibble on throughout the day, even if it is supposed to be as one snack. You get so much in your allowance so it lasts forever and fills me up; even at this stage it means I am getting my 5 portions a day so there’s a lot to be said for this healthy eating lark! My next dip will be ginger and the next after that will be curry or chilli. I like doing homemade dips with strong flavours and the variety is going to be good too so I don’t get bored. :)

Morning weight: 10st 8.6lbs :D
Activity: Swimming with daughter and her friend
Water: Very poor, 3 inconsistent litres
Toning: None
Weight: Officially 10st 12lbs or 152lbs BMI 23.8 having drunk 1L
Day 7 of the route to management.
 
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Wow CoM, well done, you are doing so brilliantly. Reading it back, isn't it amazing how different your thought processes are from one day to the other? Weekends are really difficult and you are coping so well. I look forward to reading more tomorrow.
 
Sunday 1st October

I have been an idiot to say the least. Last night I actually bothered to read my route to management for the first 2 weeks. In there was some guidance on what constitutes a portion size even though there are no portion sizes given each week. When I though I was over eating on the salad I actually wasn’t. There’s me thinking that 2 sticks of celery was over doing it a bit when LL actually suggest that 3 sticks is about right as a portion! Now I know that at least my salad and veg is right even if I have been going overboard on the lean protein. :)

Today was a terrible management day for me. My daughter had a party to go to and I pigged out on left over party cakes and biscuits that are definitely not on the menu for this week. Not good at all as one wasn’t enough and I felt the urge to eat and eat and eat. Next time I know that I will need to eat before I go to near any temptations and drink lots of water while I’m in front of them. I was hungry and I just couldn’t stop but I also if the fact that my period is due in the next few days didn’t help matters. When I got home I had my veg snacks to cope with the sugar low I knew was coming. By eating low GI foods I stopped the cycle because otherwise I would have been a craving another load of sugary food. It worked, I didn’t have any craving for more sugar or carbohydrates so this has been a valuable lesson for the future if I can just remember it. This lesson also vindicates the fact that I have never (and yes I do mean never) kept chocolate, cakes, biscuits or crisps in the house because I can’t trust my self control. If I have ever wanted items like this it has required a special trip to the shops for it. :(

I do keep thinking about all the sweet stuff I ate today with a feeling of bewilderment rather than regret. One thing that has really struck me is that I feel I should love all the sweet stuff but actually I loved the cakes and wasn’t that bothered about the biscuits and marshmallows when I actually ate them, didn’t stop me though. I love the raw veg and dips I have but I don’t crave them or have the sense of longing for them as I do with the sweet stuff despite the fact that I didn’t actually like the taste of 2/3 of what I ate. Could this be totally down to the time of the month being imminent or is that just wishful thinking on my part? I have to get back on board and do this route to management properly by the book. This means doing the activities in the manual and doing the food diaries as laid out by LL because I haven’t done a single one so far. I have been cruising through the diet for a number of weeks now and I feel this is because I have lost my way. I have always extolled that those new to LL embrace the LL way and trust in it yet I have gone my own way. Whether I have gone off the rails because of not following the LL instructions or whether this is a symptom of going off the rails I just don’t know. I haven’t been giving myself the time to think about my diet of late. Love the horse riding as I do, this has taken over my life as being my first love and has meant I have neglected my diet education. Is this just my way of self sabotaging again? Thanks to the foundation stage I know I have a history of it. Is this just a new way I have developed of doing so because I have been vigilant for my old ways.:confused:

I had my dinner in the evening which was a plate of salad with roasted cloves of garlic and Mackerel baked in foil with mustard and lemon juice. I still had 2 LL packs to have in the evening as I didn’t have them in the daytime having had my binge on party food earlier. I was tempted to leave them but decided that I should at least to stick to that part of the programme for the day even if I did binge on party food.

I had sugar free jelly today for the first time. It wasn’t really my thing but will be useful to keep something in the fridge for when I fancy eating something but don’t have any veg left in my allowance.:)

I have to say that I am dreading the morning weigh in tomorrow. I know that I haven’t had enough calories in the week to put on fat despite today’s intake but I know that my glycogen levels are topping up quicker than they should be because of my party food binge which combined with the additional water that brings won’t look good on the scales. I will weigh myself though, I have to, I owe it to myself.:eek:


Morning weight: 10st 10.2lbs
Activity: Not a lot
Water: 4 consistent litres
Toning: None
Weight: Officially 10st 12lbs or 152lbs BMI 23.8 having drunk 1L
Day 8 of the route to management.
 
CHICKEN
You sound like you've got things under control to me. The fact your writing a very comprehensive diary to yourself is enough. You know where you've gone wrong so you now have to use your skills which you gained in Foundation to pull back.

Im learning so much from you Chicken, more than you'll ever know and although for some people maintenance can't come quickly enough, for me Im absolutely dreading it and the choices i'll have to make, dealing with kids parties, can I, can't I thoughts its too much to think of at this moment in time, but reading your diary has given me so much enthusiasm and encouragement.

Keep going girl your doing fine.
 
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