My management journey
- Thread starter chicken on a mission
- Start date
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Gemma thanks, I am rather pleased with the way it went even in the cold light of day. 
Karion, I only got to Bournmouth at about4.30pm so had time to do a quick look in a couple of shops and then find somewhere to eat and then get back to the venue early to soak up the atmoshere. Tom has an amazing voice and he made direct eye contact on a few occasions It was a great experience to watch a true professional at work
Karion, I only got to Bournmouth at about4.30pm so had time to do a quick look in a couple of shops and then find somewhere to eat and then get back to the venue early to soak up the atmoshere. Tom has an amazing voice and he made direct eye contact on a few occasions
It was a great experience to watch a true professional at work
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Thursday 11th October
Hmm. How do I feel after the night before? I feel great actually, I feel like a grown up! My weight was slightly up this morning and I have to try and to stick to the plan for the next couple of days to make of for it.
I didn’t have breakfast because I wasn’t hungry but had downed 2 litres of water before 10.30am. I didn’t eat until lunchtime when I had a big salad. I had a tub of prawn cottage cheese, a plum, some strawberry smoothie made by my daughter (semi skimmed milk, 8 strawberries, vanilla essence and low fat natural yoghurt) and a LL bar made into biscuits. I had tuna steak as my protein. All of this was eaten during the latter part of the afternoon so I wasn’t hungry in the evening, the emotional calls to eat were still there though and I had a SF jelly with a 0% fat Greek yoghurt top although in theory I should have just held off from having anything.
Morning weight: 10st 8.6lbs
Activity: walked round Southampton. Walked to and from school
Water: 5 litres
Toning: none
I completed the LL homework:
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Too much but the right stuff
Weight: Officially 10st 11.2lbs
Day 19 of the route to management completed.
Hmm. How do I feel after the night before? I feel great actually, I feel like a grown up! My weight was slightly up this morning and I have to try and to stick to the plan for the next couple of days to make of for it.
I didn’t have breakfast because I wasn’t hungry but had downed 2 litres of water before 10.30am. I didn’t eat until lunchtime when I had a big salad. I had a tub of prawn cottage cheese, a plum, some strawberry smoothie made by my daughter (semi skimmed milk, 8 strawberries, vanilla essence and low fat natural yoghurt) and a LL bar made into biscuits. I had tuna steak as my protein. All of this was eaten during the latter part of the afternoon so I wasn’t hungry in the evening, the emotional calls to eat were still there though and I had a SF jelly with a 0% fat Greek yoghurt top although in theory I should have just held off from having anything.
Morning weight: 10st 8.6lbs
Activity: walked round Southampton. Walked to and from school
Water: 5 litres
Toning: none
I completed the LL homework:
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Too much but the right stuff
Weight: Officially 10st 11.2lbs
Day 19 of the route to management completed.
I am in a dilema.
I still have a couple of stone to go but am going away for 5 days on the 6/11/06. I dont fancy going away and not be able to go out for at least 2-3 meals. My LLC has suggested that I come off development(1st week today) and be on at least week 3 of management before I go away. She has said to carry on with that for 12 weeks and then lose what weight I want to lose on planned staones afterwards
I know that food is staggered over the weeks but can anyone tell me the foods that you introduce over the 1st 3 weeks. I dont know if she thinks that I want a full monty meal. I only intend something like a chicken salad on a couple of the nights and do at least 2 packs during the day. What so special about the food that you can have weeks 3???
Hope someone can help me because I feel cheated at the moment that my journey is being cut short when I have not reached the end!! I know that this has been one of my pitfalls in the past
I still have a couple of stone to go but am going away for 5 days on the 6/11/06. I dont fancy going away and not be able to go out for at least 2-3 meals. My LLC has suggested that I come off development(1st week today) and be on at least week 3 of management before I go away. She has said to carry on with that for 12 weeks and then lose what weight I want to lose on planned staones afterwards
I know that food is staggered over the weeks but can anyone tell me the foods that you introduce over the 1st 3 weeks. I dont know if she thinks that I want a full monty meal. I only intend something like a chicken salad on a couple of the nights and do at least 2 packs during the day. What so special about the food that you can have weeks 3???
Hope someone can help me because I feel cheated at the moment that my journey is being cut short when I have not reached the end!! I know that this has been one of my pitfalls in the past
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Lena, ask your LL counsellor to show you the list because there is a lot on there but what is even more important is what isn't on there like onion for example.
If you ask and he/she is unwilling to show you (mine was more than happy to show me the first 4 weeks) then pm me but try not to worry too much if you can help it because this is putting undue stress on yourself which isn't going to help matters
If you ask and he/she is unwilling to show you (mine was more than happy to show me the first 4 weeks) then pm me but try not to worry too much if you can help it because this is putting undue stress on yourself which isn't going to help matters
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Friday 12th October
I stood on the scales this morning feeling very unsure and apprehensive. I felt a bit bloated and uncomfortable and wasn’t sure how this was going to be reflected on the scales. I stood on them anyway and was surprised to see them come out at 10st 6.6lbs but when I got off again the scales when back to a minus figure of 0.6 so I reset them and got on again with an even greater feeling of trepidation. This time is was 10st 7lbs exactly and I am delighted with that.
I am looking forward to the start of the next diet week which is tomorrow so I can start cooking my veggies, especially now the weather is getting colder.
Once again I wasn’t hungry this morning but I did have a late night snack of strawberries last night. I am going to have to work a lot harder on my evening snacking habit. I know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that I should be ready for it but it is so hard trying to change the habit of a lifetime.
I didn’t have breakfast again today although I did try to have a peach but it was disgusting so I had to ditch it. I had 2 plums and an apple after going horse riding. I had a ham salad for lunch at the indoor play area I take my daughter to. They didn’t have that on the menu but I asked them to make me one up. When the food was bought out it was a ham salad sandwich with tortilla chips on the side. I sent it back saying I couldn’t have bread and had actually asked for a ham salad. When the salad was bought out it had a load of tortilla chips on it and was covered in grated cheese. I suppose they thought they were doing me a favour to make up for their earlier mistake so I didn’t have the heart to send it back again so I gave the tortilla chips to me daughter and picked off all the cheese I could for her too. It strikes me that actually getting what you want when you go out requires stricter instructions when ordering. I had a tub of prawn cottage cheese at about 5pm and then a LL bar made into biscuits. I wasn’t hungry after that and didn’t have dinner and despite my hubby not coming home until very very late (I’m writing this at 10pm and there is still no sign of him as he said he would call when he got to Southampton which is about 15 miles away), I didn’t feel the need to comfort eat or eat out of boredom even though I was alone thanks to a long conversation with my mum and a long soak in the bath. I had a hot drink and that was enough for me. WHAT A RESULT!!!!!!!!
I don’t want to lose any more weight but I don’t want to feel bloated all the time and I have been feeling bloated recently. Not having dinner isn't ideal but I am hoing that this evenings abstinence will be enough to kickstart my appetite for breakfast time tomorrow morning so that I can break the late night snacking/no breakfast cycle which is my most immediate problem.
I am happy with the way my day went and the choices I made.
Morning weight: 10st 7lbs
Activity: ½ hour riding, running round play shack with my daughter.
Water: 4 litres
I completed the LL homework: Read more of the management manual.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No, only had one pack, didn’t have any dinner.
Day 20 of the route to management completed.
I stood on the scales this morning feeling very unsure and apprehensive. I felt a bit bloated and uncomfortable and wasn’t sure how this was going to be reflected on the scales. I stood on them anyway and was surprised to see them come out at 10st 6.6lbs but when I got off again the scales when back to a minus figure of 0.6 so I reset them and got on again with an even greater feeling of trepidation. This time is was 10st 7lbs exactly and I am delighted with that.
I am looking forward to the start of the next diet week which is tomorrow so I can start cooking my veggies, especially now the weather is getting colder.
Once again I wasn’t hungry this morning but I did have a late night snack of strawberries last night. I am going to have to work a lot harder on my evening snacking habit. I know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that I should be ready for it but it is so hard trying to change the habit of a lifetime.
I didn’t have breakfast again today although I did try to have a peach but it was disgusting so I had to ditch it. I had 2 plums and an apple after going horse riding. I had a ham salad for lunch at the indoor play area I take my daughter to. They didn’t have that on the menu but I asked them to make me one up. When the food was bought out it was a ham salad sandwich with tortilla chips on the side. I sent it back saying I couldn’t have bread and had actually asked for a ham salad. When the salad was bought out it had a load of tortilla chips on it and was covered in grated cheese. I suppose they thought they were doing me a favour to make up for their earlier mistake so I didn’t have the heart to send it back again so I gave the tortilla chips to me daughter and picked off all the cheese I could for her too. It strikes me that actually getting what you want when you go out requires stricter instructions when ordering. I had a tub of prawn cottage cheese at about 5pm and then a LL bar made into biscuits. I wasn’t hungry after that and didn’t have dinner and despite my hubby not coming home until very very late (I’m writing this at 10pm and there is still no sign of him as he said he would call when he got to Southampton which is about 15 miles away), I didn’t feel the need to comfort eat or eat out of boredom even though I was alone thanks to a long conversation with my mum and a long soak in the bath. I had a hot drink and that was enough for me. WHAT A RESULT!!!!!!!!
I don’t want to lose any more weight but I don’t want to feel bloated all the time and I have been feeling bloated recently. Not having dinner isn't ideal but I am hoing that this evenings abstinence will be enough to kickstart my appetite for breakfast time tomorrow morning so that I can break the late night snacking/no breakfast cycle which is my most immediate problem.
I am happy with the way my day went and the choices I made.
Morning weight: 10st 7lbs
Activity: ½ hour riding, running round play shack with my daughter.
Water: 4 litres
I completed the LL homework: Read more of the management manual.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No, only had one pack, didn’t have any dinner.
Day 20 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Saturday 14th October
I was 10st 6.6lbs on the scales this morning which puts me at 23BMI and 30.2% body fat.
I really think that I have my head in the right place for this management phase and hope I can keep it there for the rest of my life. I am being mindful but not obsessive about the choices I make which means I am not putting undue pressure on myself which would just serve to stress me out and make me more likely to turn to food.
I measured myself this morning and I am 36 inch bust, 30 inch waist and 36 inch hips. The problem is that I am broad shouldered. The extra 3lbs I have inadvertently shed over the past 3 weeks or so has really made a huge difference to my body. I am getting a bit too scrawny now for my own liking and am going to have to go riding more to build up my muscle tone. I have decided to weigh myself every other day from now on and see how I go with that.
Today is the first day of week 4 in the route to management and I can add more veggies to my repertoire including onions and these can now be cooked. This is going to make a big difference to my meals and is very welcome because the weather is rapidly getting colder. I am really looking forward to next week when I can start making some soup, especially in this weather.
I actually was ready for my breakfast this morning so I made up a hot chocolate porridge from a LL food pack. Lunch was a big plate of salad consisting of red pepper, yellow pepper, cauliflower, plum tomatoes, cucumber, courgette, mushrooms and radish drizzled with shop bought low fat yoghurt and mint dressing and I had to put a load of it back in the fridge. Hubby, daughter and I went down town late afternoon and I had what was supposed to be a slimmer’s plate but should have been done under the trades description act! It was described as ham, tomatoes and mushrooms and so it was. The ham had a very fatty rind which hadn’t been cut of before they shredded it so I spent and age finding all the fat and cutting it off to put to the side of my plate. There were 2 big tomatoes that had at least been grilled so were fine and the mountain of mushrooms was fried in a slick of oil. I left half the ham which my daughter ate, ate all the tomatoes and had enough of the mushrooms to realise I really didn’t want them so my husband took them off me. Hubby and daughter decided to have a blueberry muffin to finish with so I had an apple. I didn’t fancy very much in the evening so made up 1/3 of a cup of homemade yoghurt consisting of 0% Greek style yoghurt blitzed up with a small amount of sweetener and some strawberries. I still had my LL bar and the rest of my salad allowance from lunchtime but I didn’t want them. Eating isn’t a novelty anymore and I don’t have to eat everything in sight because I know when my next meal is coming so I think my appetite and head has settled back into a more relaxed and calmer outlook.
I bounced round the kitchen to 3 kicking tunes on the radio (thank you Vernon Kay) without a break and felt good for it. What a great way to get active and my daughter enjoyed it too although she gave up before I did.
Leaving food when I am not hungry is becoming easier to get my head around the more I do it so progress has been made again today on one of my biggest challenges. Today was a good day all in all with opportunities to put into practice some new essential habits.
Morning weight: 10st 6.6lbs getting a bit too low
Activity: Walked round town, 3 songs worth of vigorous bouncing in the kitchen!
Water: Not good at only 3 litres which is the minimum.
I completed the LL homework: Did diary and nothing more.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 21 of the route to management completed.
I was 10st 6.6lbs on the scales this morning which puts me at 23BMI and 30.2% body fat.
I really think that I have my head in the right place for this management phase and hope I can keep it there for the rest of my life. I am being mindful but not obsessive about the choices I make which means I am not putting undue pressure on myself which would just serve to stress me out and make me more likely to turn to food.
I measured myself this morning and I am 36 inch bust, 30 inch waist and 36 inch hips. The problem is that I am broad shouldered. The extra 3lbs I have inadvertently shed over the past 3 weeks or so has really made a huge difference to my body. I am getting a bit too scrawny now for my own liking and am going to have to go riding more to build up my muscle tone. I have decided to weigh myself every other day from now on and see how I go with that.
Today is the first day of week 4 in the route to management and I can add more veggies to my repertoire including onions and these can now be cooked. This is going to make a big difference to my meals and is very welcome because the weather is rapidly getting colder. I am really looking forward to next week when I can start making some soup, especially in this weather.
I actually was ready for my breakfast this morning so I made up a hot chocolate porridge from a LL food pack. Lunch was a big plate of salad consisting of red pepper, yellow pepper, cauliflower, plum tomatoes, cucumber, courgette, mushrooms and radish drizzled with shop bought low fat yoghurt and mint dressing and I had to put a load of it back in the fridge. Hubby, daughter and I went down town late afternoon and I had what was supposed to be a slimmer’s plate but should have been done under the trades description act! It was described as ham, tomatoes and mushrooms and so it was. The ham had a very fatty rind which hadn’t been cut of before they shredded it so I spent and age finding all the fat and cutting it off to put to the side of my plate. There were 2 big tomatoes that had at least been grilled so were fine and the mountain of mushrooms was fried in a slick of oil. I left half the ham which my daughter ate, ate all the tomatoes and had enough of the mushrooms to realise I really didn’t want them so my husband took them off me. Hubby and daughter decided to have a blueberry muffin to finish with so I had an apple. I didn’t fancy very much in the evening so made up 1/3 of a cup of homemade yoghurt consisting of 0% Greek style yoghurt blitzed up with a small amount of sweetener and some strawberries. I still had my LL bar and the rest of my salad allowance from lunchtime but I didn’t want them. Eating isn’t a novelty anymore and I don’t have to eat everything in sight because I know when my next meal is coming so I think my appetite and head has settled back into a more relaxed and calmer outlook.
I bounced round the kitchen to 3 kicking tunes on the radio (thank you Vernon Kay) without a break and felt good for it. What a great way to get active and my daughter enjoyed it too although she gave up before I did.
Leaving food when I am not hungry is becoming easier to get my head around the more I do it so progress has been made again today on one of my biggest challenges. Today was a good day all in all with opportunities to put into practice some new essential habits.
Morning weight: 10st 6.6lbs getting a bit too low
Activity: Walked round town, 3 songs worth of vigorous bouncing in the kitchen!
Water: Not good at only 3 litres which is the minimum.
I completed the LL homework: Did diary and nothing more.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 21 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Sunday 15th October
It was my intention not to stand on the scales until tomorrow so I got dressed and then went downstairs. Unfortunately the call of the scales was too much so I stripped off in the hall (I weight myself in the hall because of the nice hard flat wooden floor) and on I got. I am concerned with the result but I do want to stick to every other day if I can. Come to think of it, this lack of control worked out in my favour because it means that my home weigh in day will fall on Tuesday morning which is my LL official weigh in day and because I have breakfast and a litre of water before that I would be filled with self doubt if I went by the official weight.
I was ready for my breakfast this morning and whizzed up a smoothie made with strawberries, apple juice, low fat fromage frais, milk and vanilla essence and it was bloody lovely! What a great way to start the day. I had a plum and 2 MASSIVE cauliflower florets for a mid morning snack. I had my main dinner at lunchtime which was home made meatballs in homemade tomato sauce, steamed broccoli and cauliflower. Having had my first proper meal with real steamed veg I know that I have overeaten on the veg good and proper (the meatballs were lovely too but I didn’t over eat on those) so much so that all I could manage was another LL bar made into biscuits but nothing else for the rest of the day. I couldn’t even manage my bad habit of having a nibble in the evening.
I am really on tenter hooks today as I want to know if I can have Joy, the horse I like, and whether it is a case of buying or getting her on loan. If I can ride 4 mornings a week then that should really help out with my toning and fitness as well as being something for me that doesn’t involve me being a wife or mother.
It struck me today that I am not really following the management programme because I should be having 1 meal + snacks but I am using my veg snacks allowance to have another meal and the fruit to have as snacks which is why I have had to drop a pack. I should be concerned about this but I am not, I am happy just to stick to the amounts and items listed and continue as I have been. I think having conventional food during the day and a bar made into biscuits for picking at in the evening suits my lifestyle. If I had been ssing still then I would not have been happy with my progress because it would have been stick to the programme of fail. Funnily enough I see my adaptation of the programme as a triumph against my previous crocked all or nothing style of thought. I am implementing a healthy diet and that is my long term aim in life so how can I be unhappy?
One thing I am going to have to watch is that I don’t lose too much more weight. I am right at the bottom of my comfort zone now and starting to look a bit scrawny. I’ll have a word with my LLC on Tuesday because it is difficult to eat enough of the permitted foods to keep the weight on despite the fact that I am having 2 meals a day plus packs plus snacks. I never thought I would ever have a problem with being underweight! At least it gives me some leeway for my upcoming trigger weeks and I am going to need all the help I can get with those
Morning weight: 10st 6.4lbs.
Activity: None
Water: Crap! Didn’t even keep track but less than recommended
I completed the LL homework: I read through more of the management and recipes books.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 22 of the route to management completed.
It was my intention not to stand on the scales until tomorrow so I got dressed and then went downstairs. Unfortunately the call of the scales was too much so I stripped off in the hall (I weight myself in the hall because of the nice hard flat wooden floor) and on I got. I am concerned with the result but I do want to stick to every other day if I can. Come to think of it, this lack of control worked out in my favour because it means that my home weigh in day will fall on Tuesday morning which is my LL official weigh in day and because I have breakfast and a litre of water before that I would be filled with self doubt if I went by the official weight.
I was ready for my breakfast this morning and whizzed up a smoothie made with strawberries, apple juice, low fat fromage frais, milk and vanilla essence and it was bloody lovely! What a great way to start the day. I had a plum and 2 MASSIVE cauliflower florets for a mid morning snack. I had my main dinner at lunchtime which was home made meatballs in homemade tomato sauce, steamed broccoli and cauliflower. Having had my first proper meal with real steamed veg I know that I have overeaten on the veg good and proper (the meatballs were lovely too but I didn’t over eat on those) so much so that all I could manage was another LL bar made into biscuits but nothing else for the rest of the day. I couldn’t even manage my bad habit of having a nibble in the evening.
I am really on tenter hooks today as I want to know if I can have Joy, the horse I like, and whether it is a case of buying or getting her on loan. If I can ride 4 mornings a week then that should really help out with my toning and fitness as well as being something for me that doesn’t involve me being a wife or mother.
It struck me today that I am not really following the management programme because I should be having 1 meal + snacks but I am using my veg snacks allowance to have another meal and the fruit to have as snacks which is why I have had to drop a pack. I should be concerned about this but I am not, I am happy just to stick to the amounts and items listed and continue as I have been. I think having conventional food during the day and a bar made into biscuits for picking at in the evening suits my lifestyle. If I had been ssing still then I would not have been happy with my progress because it would have been stick to the programme of fail. Funnily enough I see my adaptation of the programme as a triumph against my previous crocked all or nothing style of thought. I am implementing a healthy diet and that is my long term aim in life so how can I be unhappy?
One thing I am going to have to watch is that I don’t lose too much more weight. I am right at the bottom of my comfort zone now and starting to look a bit scrawny. I’ll have a word with my LLC on Tuesday because it is difficult to eat enough of the permitted foods to keep the weight on despite the fact that I am having 2 meals a day plus packs plus snacks. I never thought I would ever have a problem with being underweight!
At least it gives me some leeway for my upcoming trigger weeks and I am going to need all the help I can get with those Morning weight: 10st 6.4lbs.
Activity: None
Water: Crap! Didn’t even keep track but less than recommended
I completed the LL homework: I read through more of the management and recipes books.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 22 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Monday 16th October
I was 10st 6.4lbs again this morning. I can’t kick the weighing habit! Breakfast this morning was 2 apples. I can’t believe that I now love apples when pre LL I wasn’t overly fussed and preferred to eat them with a knife which wasn’t very convenient. I had dinner at lunch time which was 2 grilled tomatoes, red cabbage, a grilled open cap mushroom and a steak. I should have cut the steak in half but I didn’t and then because it was cooked I couldn’t stop. I have to concentrate more on preparing a reasonable portion to reduce my temptations to over eat. In the afternoon I got a lot of exercise at another indoor play area with my daughter but I gave in to temptation whilst I was there. She asked for marmite sandwiches despite never having liked them before, needless to say she took one bite and didn’t like it. I finished it. It was 1 slice of bread made into a sandwich but then when I opened her crisps for her I ate 3 of them. I didn’t pick at any of her chocolate cookie and didn’t even want to but had I been at home and finished the sandwich then I know I would have made ½ a loafs worth. Bread is definitely a trigger food for me and probably best consumed when I am out in a situation where I can’t then binge on it or avoided completely. When I came home I had a plate of cabbage steamed with smoked back bacon and nutmeg, one of my favourites and a bar made into biscuits. The trouble was that having got home, the urge to binge was back again. I just wish I could feel comfortable at home because I don’t like being home if the urge to binge is going to keep popping up. I don’t get this when I am anywhere else. I also had low fat yoghurt with strawberries mixed in. In the evening I had a quorn steak with sugar snap peas. Not the best of days for me!
I have arranged to go and collect the assistant LLC so I can visit her yard on Thursday. I’ll see if someone else can have my daughter for a bit so that we don’t feel rushed.
Also Joy’s owners called and we are meeting up on Friday to talk about Joy with a view to short to medium term looking to consider loaning and long term that Joy will be sold. He pointed out that Joy was young and that her head shaking is due to that. I’m so nervous about Friday because he knows what he is talking about and I don’t, plus I’ll have hubby and daughter there.
Morning weight: 10st 6.4lbs
Activity: walked/jogged to and from school. Ran round with daughter at indoor play area.
Water: 3 litres
I completed the LL homework: Read some of the management manual before bed.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No where near!
Day 23 of the route to management completed.
I was 10st 6.4lbs again this morning. I can’t kick the weighing habit! Breakfast this morning was 2 apples. I can’t believe that I now love apples when pre LL I wasn’t overly fussed and preferred to eat them with a knife which wasn’t very convenient. I had dinner at lunch time which was 2 grilled tomatoes, red cabbage, a grilled open cap mushroom and a steak. I should have cut the steak in half but I didn’t and then because it was cooked I couldn’t stop. I have to concentrate more on preparing a reasonable portion to reduce my temptations to over eat. In the afternoon I got a lot of exercise at another indoor play area with my daughter but I gave in to temptation whilst I was there. She asked for marmite sandwiches despite never having liked them before, needless to say she took one bite and didn’t like it. I finished it. It was 1 slice of bread made into a sandwich but then when I opened her crisps for her I ate 3 of them. I didn’t pick at any of her chocolate cookie and didn’t even want to but had I been at home and finished the sandwich then I know I would have made ½ a loafs worth. Bread is definitely a trigger food for me and probably best consumed when I am out in a situation where I can’t then binge on it or avoided completely. When I came home I had a plate of cabbage steamed with smoked back bacon and nutmeg, one of my favourites and a bar made into biscuits. The trouble was that having got home, the urge to binge was back again. I just wish I could feel comfortable at home because I don’t like being home if the urge to binge is going to keep popping up. I don’t get this when I am anywhere else. I also had low fat yoghurt with strawberries mixed in. In the evening I had a quorn steak with sugar snap peas. Not the best of days for me!
I have arranged to go and collect the assistant LLC so I can visit her yard on Thursday. I’ll see if someone else can have my daughter for a bit so that we don’t feel rushed.
Also Joy’s owners called and we are meeting up on Friday to talk about Joy with a view to short to medium term looking to consider loaning and long term that Joy will be sold. He pointed out that Joy was young and that her head shaking is due to that. I’m so nervous about Friday because he knows what he is talking about and I don’t, plus I’ll have hubby and daughter there.
Morning weight: 10st 6.4lbs
Activity: walked/jogged to and from school. Ran round with daughter at indoor play area.
Water: 3 litres
I completed the LL homework: Read some of the management manual before bed.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No where near!
Day 23 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Tuesday 17th October
I didn’t sleep well last night as I am so nervous about Friday when I meet Joy’s owners. I hope I don’t balls this up. The trouble is that I am already wound up with nerves and this isn’t going to make Friday my best ride ever but I want it to be so show that I am a rider worthy of Joy. Added to that, my daughter woke up crying 3 times last night. When the alarm went off this morning I didn’t get up straight away. I was then running late and my daughter wouldn’t get up because of her bad night.
I didn’t have breakfast this morning as time was tight to get my daughter to school and then dash straight on to my LL meeting. I ate an apple in the car on the way there and then had another one on the way home. I got in and binged on 4 slices of cooked pork which I had taken the fat off and fed to the cat. I then had a small salad with cottage cheese and rounded off with a LL bar made into biscuits. I had another apple for mid afternoon snack. Dinner was liver, bacon and onions with a tomato sauce and was scummy, so I over ate on it and then binged on 3 muller light yoghurts and some cottage cheese. I had steamed snap peas and mushrooms with it which I had just realised I should have had. Snap peas don’t appear until week 7. Not my best day for self control but I suppose that 4 slices of cooked ham, 3 yoghurts and some cottage cheese isn’t a binge of epic proportions and could have been a lot worse. I am dreading the scales tomorrow and given the rough couple of days I have had I will weigh myself everyday until I get through this and then I will try to go to once every other day.
I feel like I am retaining water at the moment so I am trying to drink more but finding the water difficult, I wonder if that is why I am struggling more on the food front? I am having a fat day today which also isn’t helping but I am wearing size 10 trousers today. As I was 40 mins early for my LL meeting today I bought another pair of combats the same as current pair but in a size 10. They fit snugly but not tightly so I will know when I have put weight on whereas in the 12’s I would have to stick on ½ stone before I feel held back by the trousers. I also bought some stick on bra cups to wear under my posh frock for when hubby and I go out for our meal to celebrate his birthday at the end of the month.
Morning weight: 10st 7.6lbs
Activity: walked briskly through town for 35 mins.
Water: 3 litres
I completed the LL homework: Listened to the new LL CD and read through the week 5-9 recipe book.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No
Day 24 of the route to management completed.
I didn’t sleep well last night as I am so nervous about Friday when I meet Joy’s owners. I hope I don’t balls this up. The trouble is that I am already wound up with nerves and this isn’t going to make Friday my best ride ever but I want it to be so show that I am a rider worthy of Joy. Added to that, my daughter woke up crying 3 times last night. When the alarm went off this morning I didn’t get up straight away. I was then running late and my daughter wouldn’t get up because of her bad night.
I didn’t have breakfast this morning as time was tight to get my daughter to school and then dash straight on to my LL meeting. I ate an apple in the car on the way there and then had another one on the way home. I got in and binged on 4 slices of cooked pork which I had taken the fat off and fed to the cat. I then had a small salad with cottage cheese and rounded off with a LL bar made into biscuits. I had another apple for mid afternoon snack. Dinner was liver, bacon and onions with a tomato sauce and was scummy, so I over ate on it and then binged on 3 muller light yoghurts and some cottage cheese. I had steamed snap peas and mushrooms with it which I had just realised I should have had. Snap peas don’t appear until week 7. Not my best day for self control but I suppose that 4 slices of cooked ham, 3 yoghurts and some cottage cheese isn’t a binge of epic proportions and could have been a lot worse. I am dreading the scales tomorrow and given the rough couple of days I have had I will weigh myself everyday until I get through this and then I will try to go to once every other day.
I feel like I am retaining water at the moment so I am trying to drink more but finding the water difficult, I wonder if that is why I am struggling more on the food front? I am having a fat day today which also isn’t helping but I am wearing size 10 trousers today. As I was 40 mins early for my LL meeting today I bought another pair of combats the same as current pair but in a size 10. They fit snugly but not tightly so I will know when I have put weight on whereas in the 12’s I would have to stick on ½ stone before I feel held back by the trousers. I also bought some stick on bra cups to wear under my posh frock for when hubby and I go out for our meal to celebrate his birthday at the end of the month.
Morning weight: 10st 7.6lbs
Activity: walked briskly through town for 35 mins.
Water: 3 litres
I completed the LL homework: Listened to the new LL CD and read through the week 5-9 recipe book.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No
Day 24 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Wednesday 18th October
I am so glad that I am writing down what I am eating everyday because yesterday seemed like a real binge day when I was in the middle of it but having a record to look back at helped me to put things into perspective because I did sensationalise the situation. Yes I was out of control but I can see exactly how this manifested itself and I am grateful that it wasn’t any worse. My choices for my binge were way off of what I would have done before LL. I still have my old demons to contend with but boy have I come a long way! I’m not perfect and never will be but I have changed and will continue to change so holding my weight will get easier for me over time. That thought gives me comfort. The Paretto 80/20 ratio is within my grasp if I continue to embrace the changes I have made and work on making new ones.
I have decided to return to the routine I had in place when I was sole sourcing, I’m not quite sure when I left it but a return to the familiar with give me a good grounding to get back on track again. I have lost my way with the water and I don’t know whether the problems I have been having downing the water is the symptoms of my difficult times or if it is the cause. Whatever way round it is I have decided to go back to basics because I am a creature of habit who finds order in routine. I need to have finished 2 litres of water before 1am and another by 4pm. I will have my first LL pack for breakfast and the second for lunch leaving the snacks and meal for the evening. I prefer to eat my main meal at lunch time because it makes me feel better during the day but it leaves a big gaping hole in the evenings which are my most challenging times so I have to make my evening s as easy on myself as possible. I can have fruit snacks or jelly during the day if I need extra but will leave my veg allowance for later. I think using my CD in the evening would be another coping mechanism. It would give me something to do and help focus my mind at the time when I most to, it wouldn’t hurt for my hubby to hear it either!
Today was my daughter’s class’s turn to do assembly. This split the morning into 2 halves. After dropping her at school I came back and got a chance to do some housework and then back to the school of 9.55am for the assembly. I came home again and made up a big vat of veg and chicken balti which I have put into foil containers and frozen down for 6 main meals. I did pick at the raw veg as I was preparing it but nothing too much. One tip someone gave a while back on the weight loss forum was chewing sugar free gum when preparing food because then you can’t add anything else to your mouth. If it is only veg and nothing too damaging that I am preparing then I am not bothered because it all counts towards your 5 a day and you fill up on the good stuff making me less likely to pig out on other stuff.
This afternoon was easy because my friend and I took the kids to Playshack and she is doing CD so she wasn’t eating, even thought the kids were eating there was no problem. Food doesn’t preoccupy my thoughts when I am out like they do all the time when I am at home. I had a bath late afternoon to delay the time when I would be thinking about doing dinner on the logic that the later I have dinner the easier the evening would be for me. I started eating dinner at 6.30pm. Dinner was a grilled large open cap mushroom, a grilled tomato, 2 slices of grilled aubergine (which I hated and left), steamed fresh broccoli and cauliflower and a quorn steak. I made a cheese sauce by mixing some quark, milk, mustard and black pepper and tossed the cauliflower and broccoli in it and tried to improve the aubergine in it.
Tonight was quite an easy evening. My husband didn’t get home until 9pm. I used my evening to catch up on the ironing, washing, clean the kitchen, try my stick on bra cups I bought yesterday under my posh dress and decided on which shoes I would wear and I listened to the LL CD. The combination of feeling good in my new dress to reinforce my achievements and the LL CD made things easier. I did get the urge as soon as my husband walked in, why is that? I had a jelly topped with Greek yoghurt and cinnamon despite not being hungry but that is why the jelly is there and ready to go in the fridge. If I am going to eat something then it might as well be something that I have planned for.
Hubby is taking his motorcycle test tomorrow and my friend the assistant LL counsellor is going to visit the riding school to give Joy the once over for me in readiness for Friday. Despite the stress of the next couple of days I didn’t feel the need to pig out all night prompted by stress or boredom. I am very happy with the way my day went today and the choices I made. Today was a 100% day for me. With my weight creeping up for the second day in a row I wanted to have a better day today to stop the rot. If my weight increases again tomorrow this will just be due to water retention and not due to today’s choices, good choices tomorrow should see the scales go back in the opposite direction on Friday if they don’t do so tomorrow. I will take a bar and some fruit with me when I visit the stables and my friend’s yard.
Morning weight: 10st 8lbs
Activity: Nothing out of the ordinary
Water: Back on track as I had 6’s.
I completed the LL homework: Listened to some more of the 2nd CD
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 25 of the route to management completed.
I am so glad that I am writing down what I am eating everyday because yesterday seemed like a real binge day when I was in the middle of it but having a record to look back at helped me to put things into perspective because I did sensationalise the situation. Yes I was out of control but I can see exactly how this manifested itself and I am grateful that it wasn’t any worse. My choices for my binge were way off of what I would have done before LL. I still have my old demons to contend with but boy have I come a long way! I’m not perfect and never will be but I have changed and will continue to change so holding my weight will get easier for me over time. That thought gives me comfort. The Paretto 80/20 ratio is within my grasp if I continue to embrace the changes I have made and work on making new ones.
I have decided to return to the routine I had in place when I was sole sourcing, I’m not quite sure when I left it but a return to the familiar with give me a good grounding to get back on track again. I have lost my way with the water and I don’t know whether the problems I have been having downing the water is the symptoms of my difficult times or if it is the cause. Whatever way round it is I have decided to go back to basics because I am a creature of habit who finds order in routine. I need to have finished 2 litres of water before 1am and another by 4pm. I will have my first LL pack for breakfast and the second for lunch leaving the snacks and meal for the evening. I prefer to eat my main meal at lunch time because it makes me feel better during the day but it leaves a big gaping hole in the evenings which are my most challenging times so I have to make my evening s as easy on myself as possible. I can have fruit snacks or jelly during the day if I need extra but will leave my veg allowance for later. I think using my CD in the evening would be another coping mechanism. It would give me something to do and help focus my mind at the time when I most to, it wouldn’t hurt for my hubby to hear it either!
Today was my daughter’s class’s turn to do assembly. This split the morning into 2 halves. After dropping her at school I came back and got a chance to do some housework and then back to the school of 9.55am for the assembly. I came home again and made up a big vat of veg and chicken balti which I have put into foil containers and frozen down for 6 main meals. I did pick at the raw veg as I was preparing it but nothing too much. One tip someone gave a while back on the weight loss forum was chewing sugar free gum when preparing food because then you can’t add anything else to your mouth. If it is only veg and nothing too damaging that I am preparing then I am not bothered because it all counts towards your 5 a day and you fill up on the good stuff making me less likely to pig out on other stuff.
This afternoon was easy because my friend and I took the kids to Playshack and she is doing CD so she wasn’t eating, even thought the kids were eating there was no problem. Food doesn’t preoccupy my thoughts when I am out like they do all the time when I am at home. I had a bath late afternoon to delay the time when I would be thinking about doing dinner on the logic that the later I have dinner the easier the evening would be for me. I started eating dinner at 6.30pm. Dinner was a grilled large open cap mushroom, a grilled tomato, 2 slices of grilled aubergine (which I hated and left), steamed fresh broccoli and cauliflower and a quorn steak. I made a cheese sauce by mixing some quark, milk, mustard and black pepper and tossed the cauliflower and broccoli in it and tried to improve the aubergine in it.
Tonight was quite an easy evening. My husband didn’t get home until 9pm. I used my evening to catch up on the ironing, washing, clean the kitchen, try my stick on bra cups I bought yesterday under my posh dress and decided on which shoes I would wear and I listened to the LL CD. The combination of feeling good in my new dress to reinforce my achievements and the LL CD made things easier. I did get the urge as soon as my husband walked in, why is that? I had a jelly topped with Greek yoghurt and cinnamon despite not being hungry but that is why the jelly is there and ready to go in the fridge. If I am going to eat something then it might as well be something that I have planned for.
Hubby is taking his motorcycle test tomorrow and my friend the assistant LL counsellor is going to visit the riding school to give Joy the once over for me in readiness for Friday. Despite the stress of the next couple of days I didn’t feel the need to pig out all night prompted by stress or boredom. I am very happy with the way my day went today and the choices I made. Today was a 100% day for me. With my weight creeping up for the second day in a row I wanted to have a better day today to stop the rot. If my weight increases again tomorrow this will just be due to water retention and not due to today’s choices, good choices tomorrow should see the scales go back in the opposite direction on Friday if they don’t do so tomorrow. I will take a bar and some fruit with me when I visit the stables and my friend’s yard.
Morning weight: 10st 8lbs
Activity: Nothing out of the ordinary
Water: Back on track as I had 6’s.
I completed the LL homework: Listened to some more of the 2nd CD
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 25 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Thursday 19th October
I was 10st 6lbs on the scales this morning which is exactly 5lbs lighter than when I started the route to management 26 days ago. It just goes to show that despite the days I am not entirely happy with I am still on track. The weighing is proving to be beneficial not only in monitoring how I am doing but also as reassurance and so is building up my confidence in myself that I am winning. I can’t afford to lose very much more weight but when I spoke to my LL counsellor about this she said that as the weeks go on then I will be introducing higher calorie foods and the weight loss will stop and weight might even go on in the trigger weeks.
I had chocolate porridge for breakfast and veg (broccoli, cauliflower, snap peas, green pepper, ginger, tomato and mushroom) steamed in stock with oyster sauce for lunch with a strawberry smoothie (which wasn’t as nice as normal because I ran out of vanilla. It was very filling but I didn’t feel uncomfortable. A ‘stir fry’ of veg is a great quick filling and nutritious lunch time option so I will remember that. I finally had that chicken shish I have been hanging out for all these months, my first take away for 6 months. I ate the pita bread and had a portion of humus too, neither of which are on my list of foods but I made I conscious decision as to what I was going to eat so I am happy with my food choices there. What I am not so happy with is my picking at chips which I don’t even like. I asked my daughter to take them out into the kitchen out of my way because if there is anything for me to pick at then I will. It’s one of my problems. I am still pleased overall because I was able to demonstrate and practice control because I was in control and chose to do what I did.
I start week 5 on Saturday and then I can make up some tasty winter warmer chunky soups. If I don’t include protein then this is a free food. I love soup and if I keep it chunky and thick, almost stew like, then I won’t feel the need for bread to mop up with but then I didn't have a problem with the pita bread I ate this evening and it didn't lead to cravings for more. I think my bread problem was limited only to toast but I won't be trying that until week 10 I think. I always used to enjoy wedges of fresh bread and butter with my soup. I need to work on knocking that association of foods on the head before the bad habits get a chance to creep back in.
Morning weight: 10st 6lbs
Activity: 1 hour of riding, skipping out the all weather surface.
Water: 3 litres but loads of extra non-water liquid too.
I completed the LL homework: Read some of the management book.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: I had humus and pita bread and a few chips. Nothing disastrous and through choice rather than lack of control.
Day 26 of the route to management completed.
I was 10st 6lbs on the scales this morning which is exactly 5lbs lighter than when I started the route to management 26 days ago. It just goes to show that despite the days I am not entirely happy with I am still on track. The weighing is proving to be beneficial not only in monitoring how I am doing but also as reassurance and so is building up my confidence in myself that I am winning. I can’t afford to lose very much more weight but when I spoke to my LL counsellor about this she said that as the weeks go on then I will be introducing higher calorie foods and the weight loss will stop and weight might even go on in the trigger weeks.
I had chocolate porridge for breakfast and veg (broccoli, cauliflower, snap peas, green pepper, ginger, tomato and mushroom) steamed in stock with oyster sauce for lunch with a strawberry smoothie (which wasn’t as nice as normal because I ran out of vanilla. It was very filling but I didn’t feel uncomfortable. A ‘stir fry’ of veg is a great quick filling and nutritious lunch time option so I will remember that. I finally had that chicken shish I have been hanging out for all these months, my first take away for 6 months. I ate the pita bread and had a portion of humus too, neither of which are on my list of foods but I made I conscious decision as to what I was going to eat so I am happy with my food choices there. What I am not so happy with is my picking at chips which I don’t even like. I asked my daughter to take them out into the kitchen out of my way because if there is anything for me to pick at then I will. It’s one of my problems. I am still pleased overall because I was able to demonstrate and practice control because I was in control and chose to do what I did.
I start week 5 on Saturday and then I can make up some tasty winter warmer chunky soups. If I don’t include protein then this is a free food. I love soup and if I keep it chunky and thick, almost stew like, then I won’t feel the need for bread to mop up with but then I didn't have a problem with the pita bread I ate this evening and it didn't lead to cravings for more. I think my bread problem was limited only to toast but I won't be trying that until week 10 I think. I always used to enjoy wedges of fresh bread and butter with my soup. I need to work on knocking that association of foods on the head before the bad habits get a chance to creep back in.
Morning weight: 10st 6lbs
Activity: 1 hour of riding, skipping out the all weather surface.
Water: 3 litres but loads of extra non-water liquid too.
I completed the LL homework: Read some of the management book.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: I had humus and pita bread and a few chips. Nothing disastrous and through choice rather than lack of control.
Day 26 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Friday 20th October
To be honest this was one of the worst days of 2006 for me. I didn’t sleep very well last night because of my nervousness about meeting Joy’s owner (the horse I am interested in getting on loan) and I ended up having a bath at 6.30am to try and relax. I really wanted to have a good lesson in case the owner turned up early to watch. Not only that my friend, and my husband were watching and I wanted them to see Joy and I at our best. As it was the owner didn’t watch which is a good job because I had the worst ride ever. If I hadn’t have paid £22.50p for it I would have got straight back off because it did more harm than good for both Joy and I. Joy picked up on just how nervous and unsettled I was and took advantage by pulling all the tricks in the book and I just sat there like a novice and let her. I deliberately stopped several times on the verge of just taking her back to the barn and my riding instructor and I had a few long chats but quite frankly I had no confidence and hated every moment of the lesson. All day I have been catastrophsising the situation. I’m useless, not good enough to ride, own a horse, be a mother, deserve such a wonderful family…
My husband bought me back down to earth with some sensible talking tonight. Days like this which were filled with self doubt and loathing used to be fairly common place which I dealt with by some mighty binging sessions. Days where I was depressed but not filled with self loathing were dealt with in the same way. I’d have at least a few self loathing days a month and 2-3 depressed days a weeks but thanks to the therapy I received on LL this is the first of either type in 5 months. Although I overate at dinner tonight and made choices I would not have done on a ‘normal’ day, I didn’t have a comfort binge and this reflects the biggest change in my attitude since starting LL. I can’t believe that it didn’t even occur to me to turn to food for comfort. Yes I wallowed (and am still wallowing) in self pity but I have not pressed the self destruct button or either considered it, I just got the portion control on tonights meal completely wrong!
The LL therapy has helped me to see how they actually are and apply perspective. I simply couldn’t concentrate because I had built up today to such an extent in my mind that I had unrealistic expectations of perfection (all or nothing crocked thinking) that I couldn’t ever hope to achieve so that the disappointment and self loathing just fuelled the fire and I could see no way out.
Today I ate chocolate porridge, veg ‘stir fry’, 2 jelly with yoghurt tops, raw veg snack, a late evening Indian consisting of ½ plate of salad (I have never eaten the salad that comes with an Indian so this was a first), a lentil and veg dish (can’t remember the name – didn’t realise it had some potato in it but chose this over others because they did list potato in the ingredients so a good conscious choice off an Indian menu), pashwari nan bread (is stuffed with coconut and raisins so terrible choice as not even close to being on the plan at this stage!), tandoori mixed grill (great choice – but was tough and complete gross, didn’t stop me eating all of it which was far too much) yoghurt and mint sauce (fine) and 4 papadoms (terrible). Note that apart from the bread I chose the best options on the menu for my particular management week, the papadoms came free and I couldn’t resist them. I don’t like eating so late (9pm start) but the Indian was so busy this was the earliest they could do it for.
So it’s back on the bandwagon for me again for at least the next 2 days, probably 3 to pay for tonight’s choices!
Management for me is able being able to make choices rather than being led my emotions. It is about overeating sometimes but hopefully not getting into and emotion driven binge because the 2 issue are entirely separate.
I don’t want to completely exclude ‘bad foods’ from my life unless I quite simply can't control myself. I just want to be able to eat well on the whole with the occasional ‘bad food’ thrown in but paid for by making healthier choices in preparation for it or in payment for it if it wasn’t planned 2-3 days before partaking.
Morning weight: 10st 7.6lbs
Activity: 1 hour or riding
Water: Crap – 2 litres
I completed the LL homework: Nope, except for diary
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Nope, overate and ate foods not on the plan.
Day 27 of the route to management completed.
To be honest this was one of the worst days of 2006 for me. I didn’t sleep very well last night because of my nervousness about meeting Joy’s owner (the horse I am interested in getting on loan) and I ended up having a bath at 6.30am to try and relax. I really wanted to have a good lesson in case the owner turned up early to watch. Not only that my friend, and my husband were watching and I wanted them to see Joy and I at our best. As it was the owner didn’t watch which is a good job because I had the worst ride ever. If I hadn’t have paid £22.50p for it I would have got straight back off because it did more harm than good for both Joy and I. Joy picked up on just how nervous and unsettled I was and took advantage by pulling all the tricks in the book and I just sat there like a novice and let her. I deliberately stopped several times on the verge of just taking her back to the barn and my riding instructor and I had a few long chats but quite frankly I had no confidence and hated every moment of the lesson. All day I have been catastrophsising the situation. I’m useless, not good enough to ride, own a horse, be a mother, deserve such a wonderful family…
My husband bought me back down to earth with some sensible talking tonight. Days like this which were filled with self doubt and loathing used to be fairly common place which I dealt with by some mighty binging sessions. Days where I was depressed but not filled with self loathing were dealt with in the same way. I’d have at least a few self loathing days a month and 2-3 depressed days a weeks but thanks to the therapy I received on LL this is the first of either type in 5 months. Although I overate at dinner tonight and made choices I would not have done on a ‘normal’ day, I didn’t have a comfort binge and this reflects the biggest change in my attitude since starting LL. I can’t believe that it didn’t even occur to me to turn to food for comfort. Yes I wallowed (and am still wallowing) in self pity but I have not pressed the self destruct button or either considered it, I just got the portion control on tonights meal completely wrong!
The LL therapy has helped me to see how they actually are and apply perspective. I simply couldn’t concentrate because I had built up today to such an extent in my mind that I had unrealistic expectations of perfection (all or nothing crocked thinking) that I couldn’t ever hope to achieve so that the disappointment and self loathing just fuelled the fire and I could see no way out.
Today I ate chocolate porridge, veg ‘stir fry’, 2 jelly with yoghurt tops, raw veg snack, a late evening Indian consisting of ½ plate of salad (I have never eaten the salad that comes with an Indian so this was a first), a lentil and veg dish (can’t remember the name – didn’t realise it had some potato in it but chose this over others because they did list potato in the ingredients so a good conscious choice off an Indian menu), pashwari nan bread (is stuffed with coconut and raisins so terrible choice as not even close to being on the plan at this stage!), tandoori mixed grill (great choice – but was tough and complete gross, didn’t stop me eating all of it which was far too much) yoghurt and mint sauce (fine) and 4 papadoms (terrible). Note that apart from the bread I chose the best options on the menu for my particular management week, the papadoms came free and I couldn’t resist them. I don’t like eating so late (9pm start) but the Indian was so busy this was the earliest they could do it for.
So it’s back on the bandwagon for me again for at least the next 2 days, probably 3 to pay for tonight’s choices!
Management for me is able being able to make choices rather than being led my emotions. It is about overeating sometimes but hopefully not getting into and emotion driven binge because the 2 issue are entirely separate.
I don’t want to completely exclude ‘bad foods’ from my life unless I quite simply can't control myself. I just want to be able to eat well on the whole with the occasional ‘bad food’ thrown in but paid for by making healthier choices in preparation for it or in payment for it if it wasn’t planned 2-3 days before partaking.
Morning weight: 10st 7.6lbs
Activity: 1 hour or riding
Water: Crap – 2 litres
I completed the LL homework: Nope, except for diary
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Nope, overate and ate foods not on the plan.
Day 27 of the route to management completed.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Saturday 21st October
It’s the first day of my week 5 today,it’s been 4 weeks since I started to reintroduce conventional food again. I have successfully held my weight within the comfort boundaries I set for myself and just have to do this for the rest of my life and I’ve cracked it!
I can now have some of the more starchy veggies like sweet corn and I can have soup which I am looking forward to.
I had chocolate porridge, 2 ½ apples, chilli con carne and salad. Half the foil container of lentil and veg curry from last night, 2 jellies with yoghurt top and a LL bar.
Morning weight: 10st 8.6lbs
Activity: Nothing to report
Water: 2.5 litres
I completed the LL homework: diary only
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No, chilli had kidney beans in.
Day 28 of the route to management completed.
It’s the first day of my week 5 today,it’s been 4 weeks since I started to reintroduce conventional food again. I have successfully held my weight within the comfort boundaries I set for myself and just have to do this for the rest of my life and I’ve cracked it!
I can now have some of the more starchy veggies like sweet corn and I can have soup which I am looking forward to.
I had chocolate porridge, 2 ½ apples, chilli con carne and salad. Half the foil container of lentil and veg curry from last night, 2 jellies with yoghurt top and a LL bar.
Morning weight: 10st 8.6lbs
Activity: Nothing to report
Water: 2.5 litres
I completed the LL homework: diary only
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: No, chilli had kidney beans in.
Day 28 of the route to management completed.
Flopster
Got a life thank you!
Hi CoM
Just catching up on your diary and you are doing so well. I can see it is a struggle but it was always going to be, nothing in life is easy and anything worth fighting for is worth battling over.
Well done and please don't stop posting, I am thoroughly enjoying your journal and have learnt so much from it, even if I don't post every day to tell you so.
Just catching up on your diary and you are doing so well. I can see it is a struggle but it was always going to be, nothing in life is easy and anything worth fighting for is worth battling over.
Well done and please don't stop posting, I am thoroughly enjoying your journal and have learnt so much from it, even if I don't post every day to tell you so.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Thanks flopster.
I'm not doing it strictly by the book though!
I'm not doing it strictly by the book though!
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Sunday 22nd October
I wasn’t looking forward to doing the scales today because I am due on which would also not help my moods. But as always, the more you dread doing it, the greater the need to do it so there was never any thoughts of not weighing in today.
It’s a bit of a watershed day for me today. It has suddenly hit me that I really can do this. I have lost more than 7 stone and am more than capable of keeping it off. The key is going to be monitoring my weight regularly and making necessary adjustments so that I am never more than 1-2 weeks at most away from my goal, hence having the comfort zone of between 10st 6lbs and 10st 9lbs. If my weight gets more than 1-2 weeks dieting away from goal then my chances of feeling overwhelmed by the task increase the risk of my old demon, self sabotage. I CAN REALLY DO THIS; I AM ACTUALLY LIVING THE LIFE OF A SLIM PERSON!
I feel like I am consistently eating more than I ever did before and this is probably true because my binge sessions would be balanced by periods of trying to abstain from food altogether.
Breakfast was strawberries, natural and Greek yoghurt blitzed together. I like making my own yoghurt because I know there is no sweetener or sugar in it. The fruit makes it sweet enough for my retrained taste buds. Lunch was soup made from broccoli, sweet potato, carrot, leek, veg bouillon powder, garam masalla, garlic and blitzed so still a bit chunky and served with a dollop of natural yoghurt, a real winter warmer soup and it was bloody lovely! Best of all, because it didn’t have any protein in it then I can have as much of it as I want, so I had another bowl! Afternoon snack was lettuce, 2 slices of cucumber and 2 slices of tomato with vinegar. Dinner was salmon steak, roasted parsnip and sweet potato, steamed cauliflower and broccoli. Pudding was frozen summer fruits blitzed with Greek yoghurt to make ice cream. I had a bar and a SF jelly with yoghurt top in the evening. If today is an example of healthy eating then bring it on!
I am still tense about whether I able to get Joy on loan. I said to hubby to imagine he had taken his motorcycle test and then had to wait 2 weeks for the result. Even that doesn’t come close to it because from when I was a little girl I loved horses and dreamt of having my own. This is my opportunity and I just hope nothing goes wrong. If it does then hubby has said that he promised me a horse and if that means buying then that’s what we’ll do but I just want a taster of what’s involved first so I am not rushing into anything at the expense of the horse’s welfare which is the top priority in all of this.
Morning weight: 10st 7.7lbs
Activity: None unless you count 3 ½ mins of bouncing round the kitchen to Fat Boy Slim with my daughter!
Water: 5 litres
I completed the LL homework: read 2 chapters of management book.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 29 of the route to management completed.
I wasn’t looking forward to doing the scales today because I am due on which would also not help my moods. But as always, the more you dread doing it, the greater the need to do it so there was never any thoughts of not weighing in today.
It’s a bit of a watershed day for me today. It has suddenly hit me that I really can do this. I have lost more than 7 stone and am more than capable of keeping it off. The key is going to be monitoring my weight regularly and making necessary adjustments so that I am never more than 1-2 weeks at most away from my goal, hence having the comfort zone of between 10st 6lbs and 10st 9lbs. If my weight gets more than 1-2 weeks dieting away from goal then my chances of feeling overwhelmed by the task increase the risk of my old demon, self sabotage. I CAN REALLY DO THIS; I AM ACTUALLY LIVING THE LIFE OF A SLIM PERSON!
I feel like I am consistently eating more than I ever did before and this is probably true because my binge sessions would be balanced by periods of trying to abstain from food altogether.
Breakfast was strawberries, natural and Greek yoghurt blitzed together. I like making my own yoghurt because I know there is no sweetener or sugar in it. The fruit makes it sweet enough for my retrained taste buds. Lunch was soup made from broccoli, sweet potato, carrot, leek, veg bouillon powder, garam masalla, garlic and blitzed so still a bit chunky and served with a dollop of natural yoghurt, a real winter warmer soup and it was bloody lovely! Best of all, because it didn’t have any protein in it then I can have as much of it as I want, so I had another bowl! Afternoon snack was lettuce, 2 slices of cucumber and 2 slices of tomato with vinegar. Dinner was salmon steak, roasted parsnip and sweet potato, steamed cauliflower and broccoli. Pudding was frozen summer fruits blitzed with Greek yoghurt to make ice cream. I had a bar and a SF jelly with yoghurt top in the evening. If today is an example of healthy eating then bring it on!
I am still tense about whether I able to get Joy on loan. I said to hubby to imagine he had taken his motorcycle test and then had to wait 2 weeks for the result. Even that doesn’t come close to it because from when I was a little girl I loved horses and dreamt of having my own. This is my opportunity and I just hope nothing goes wrong. If it does then hubby has said that he promised me a horse and if that means buying then that’s what we’ll do but I just want a taster of what’s involved first so I am not rushing into anything at the expense of the horse’s welfare which is the top priority in all of this.
Morning weight: 10st 7.7lbs
Activity: None unless you count 3 ½ mins of bouncing round the kitchen to Fat Boy Slim with my daughter!
Water: 5 litres
I completed the LL homework: read 2 chapters of management book.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes
Day 29 of the route to management completed.
