My story so far - or the girl who bought books when she couldn't find jeans

Discussion in 'Weight Loss Diaries' started by Zozozela, 24 February 2013.

  1. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    So this is my story. I don't think it is an unusual one and has no great drama but it does speak of why I find myself, aged 41 and 17 stone.
    I was raised in a working class family and we were poor; like, properly poor with no money for food some days. We never went without but it meant that meals were Carb heavy to fill us up. Not surprisingly we ate what was infront of us; all of it, whether we were full or not - in fact, I truly never thought about whether I was hungry or not until I started Cambridge in 2009.
    My appetite for Carb rich food continued into adulthood where my interests and hobbies were more of the sedentary type and not surprisingly I gained weight at an alarming rate. I was a size 20 by age 28 and found that each time I went shopping for clothes, I would come back with 3 or 4 books instead (one size fits all you see :) ). I therefore became very well read but also quite fat.
    I tried WW and did ok, did SW and also did ok but stopped thinking about moderating my food intake when my mum died in 2002. In the 10 years since her death, I have got married and had 2 kids, the youngest one being 4 now. I started Cambridge after she was born. I did fab; starting at 17st6lbs and finishing at 12st. I felt great. But, when people complimented me on my weight loss I also heard criticism of my previous fat self. One friend even said "you look really good now, don't let yourself get fat again". I didn't do the maintenance plan and the weight piled up again.
    There has been a few extenuating circumstances in the last 4 years, I had back surgery and.wqs bed bound for 3 months and on heavy pain killers and anti-convulsant meds as pain relief for a while. Also my son has been really poorly and had lots of investigations - all ok now - and I became happy just eating.
    I realised about 4 weeks ago that I had bought books when I had been shopping for jeans. I laughed at myself and thought that I need to address this again.
    So, CWP again day 6 at the minute and going to use this to externalise all the stupid self-sabotaging thoughts thqt serve only to lure me from the path.
    If you read this far, thank you.
    Hopefully my updates will help keep me focussed.
  2. Fitlose

    Fitlose Well-Known Member

    Hey Zozozela, you've done it once so doing it again you know it's achievable! Look forward to your updates. I too lost 10 years ago and put it all back on.
  3. Itoy & Suerti

    Itoy & Suerti Life is what you make it

    Hi Zozozela :) that is very much what i do - go clothes shopping - come back with books - drives OH crazy! I have subscribed to your diary and look forward to joining you on your journey :) all the best
  4. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    So I have a weigh in tonight. I felt lighter yesterday but today feel a bit bloated so will see I guess.
    I'm not sure what to say to my work colleagues about my weight loss program. We are a team of 5 women who get on really well, but, on the downside we are all opinionated and I believe at least 2 of them will not agree with my choice. This might not sound bad, after all I am also pretty confident and don't need their approval. However, don't you find that these kind of disapprovers are the ones who can tell when you are at your most vulnerable and offer a biscuit, slice of cake etc. They are also the ones who delight in our failures "I knew that diet was not sustainable" "Eat less and often, thats what I do" and other such platitudes. Ggrgh, and all whilst they sit there having never been over-weight and been schooled quite early how to moderate their food intake.
    Just to be clear to you all; asking me to not eat until I am stuffed at the moment is like only allowing yourself to half inflate your lungs when you breathe. Something you can do briefly but not keep doing for long. Thats why I have to be drastic in my weight loss choice, because this way, I get fast results and my body doesn't rebel and the new regime :)
    Hoping for a loss tonight, I did a pee test this morning and I am in ketosis.
    Onwards and upwards
    Incase you cant tell I'm feeling testy because although I don't feel hungry, I am cooking chips for my kids, and I love chips.....I am making a positive choices, not depriving myself (repeat and repeat and necessary).
  5. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    Blooming heck, one of my kids wanted to taste my soup and before I could stop her, had dropped a lump of bread in. Think I have fished it out but worried the soup might now be contaminated with Carbs :-D if my loss tonight is not ace, this is the reason why!
  6. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    Weigh in tonight went well; turns out I shouldn't have been eating some of the things I thought I could - green beans (obvious now!), pork :-/ and salmon. I hadn't read my steps properly and was doing what I thought was right. That'll reach me for trying to be a smarty pants.

    So, 4lb loss this week. I am ok with that as has only been 6 days. Also made me realise I have to be sure to treat it as a new thing. Off to read the book now, night night.
  7. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    Such a test today - husband had bacon sandwiches for breakfast and we are going into the city centre for a few bits. I need to treat myself whilst they are having lunch so might have a manicure.
    Must resist the urge to buy books :)
  8. Belle

    Belle Well-Known Member

    I'm a bookworm too.. Though usually buy diet books when jeans don't fit.. I hate jeans shopping, it's the one thing to reduce me to tears and come home miserable.. Well done on your start so far. Cig ore your colleagues, you don't have to tell anyway. I usually find people are critical when you are succeeding at something they wish they could do..
  9. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    Weigh in again tonight. I think I will have a good loss as I have stuck to the plan and drunk loads of water.
    I have a dull day of housework ahead of me so have to keep myself away from the fridge.
    In the past I have eaten through whole packs of cooked meat and not counted it as it was low carb and didn't matter. Trying to be honest with myself this time so that I get better results and also so I know there are no shortcuts.
    Thanks for your replies; it's good to know I am not the only one who does things like that to avoid coming back from a shopping trip empty handed.
  10. Zozozela

    Zozozela Active Member

    I have only lost 5lbs, that's a 9lb loss overall.
    I'll not lie, I was a bit disappointed with that, especially as I had weighed myself last Thursday and had, by then, lost 4lbs! Spoke with my CWC who said to weigh myself in the morning - this morning I was 5lb lighter than last night.
    I knew there was some loss over night but I was astonished at how much. My scales weigh the same as my CWC by the way, I checked last night when I got home. Does anyone else get a similar overnight loss?

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