Thank you all girls for your replies:grouphugg: It means a lot to me
Blonde Logic: About nr3 I never used to even talk about with anybody. First person I told was my DH, who is amazing. Because it happened such a long time ago and the person is dead I sort of put it far far away. But every time my mum was talking about him I felt that ... not anger, but sort of sorrow and discust..... And when anybody mentioned how much I looed like him it was like a knife in my heart! The last thing I wanted is to remeber him in any way! Btw, this is first time I am talking about how I felt, so I guess I am making a progress
Just this summer (during an argument:sigh
I managed to tell it to my mum. That I was abused, not the details. Dont think I can tell it out loud yet... She bursed into tears and said she knew. I was 4 when I told her (at the beginning I didnt remember, but now I do) I didnt think anything was out of the ordinary, but it WAS! I have no idea why she didnt divorce him or got to the police. I just think she was way to naive. She said, she dragged him to the shrink and he begged her to forgive him and said he will never do it again. But he did. She didnt know it till this summer when I told her. She told me, that she never again trusted him and their relationships were non-existant. She tried not to leave me alone with him as much as possible... She just had to go away! She stayed (she said, that she wanted to try to save their marriage for my sake
!!)
Then he got ill and died. I remember myself crying when she told me. Everyone thought those were tears of sorrow, but they were tears of relieve! Huge relieve! My mum blamed herself all her life for his death! She said, that in anger she wished him dead and he died. So she blamed herself all those years untill I told her. I said, that I am glad he is dead, but I let it go, and so must you. I dont think she can. I hope one day she will be able to forgive him and let it go.
I am glad, that my childhood experience didnt leave a huge mark on my relationships with men. I have the most amazing husband in the world and am truly happy. Just guess, I need to get rid of my addiction to food and my comfort eating.
Gosh, can't belive I just told all of this
Back to weight loss. Week 2, day one!
Feeling fantastic! Very spirited and excited! Dont really feel hungry at all, but will go and have hot chok in a minute
I feel like I have that strenght now to actually do the diet till the end
)
