My XMAS present to myself!!!

enlightenme2

Life is brass right now
OK, so here goes, for the umpteenth time!!! I am OVERWEIGHT and I am miserable about it! For myself, this time I have found the present I want for XMAS... a new me.

I have been overweight basically all my life, and yesterday was my 39th bday. I will not spend another year overweight... I will NOT go on another beach holiday and not go swimming because I have horrible self-image. THis needs to change now and it will! I have to make my head understand that the foodfests are over, that there will always be food tomorrow, so there's no need to hoard... that apparently science says food is tasty for only the first few bites, after that it's diminishing returns. So I'm cutting myself from food, taking a break, I've cleared my calendar of any event until Dec 10th as it's DH's bday...

Can I do this? Yes I can and I will... as a promise to myself, I AM worth it and I deserve nice things just like everyone else.
 
So here goes, I have the next month and a half to lose 2 stones, that will put me at the "just under 200lbs marks". I will not get weighed until Sept 28 or 29 depending on the appt I get with my CDC, my next appt will be end of October. I am going to concentrate on being 100% one day at a time, and I need to keep the scales from dictating my life. Then I'll reassess for November.

So far, I've had 1 porridge... and I've done my exercise for the day. As I drink a minimu of 3l of water a day anyway, I will not count my water intake.
 
hello, well done sounds like a plan to me!!
i can relate to a lot of what your saying, stick with it hun you can do it!! :)

 
Boyo!! Just posted on the gen forum, I'm soo hungry tonight.
I've had 2 porridges and 2 soups, as well as 4.5l of water. I think Lizz was right, the days I exercise, I feel hungry. But I need to do so as I had gads of loose skin during my first half of CD. I intend to fight it all the way through. At least not lose as much muscle mass as last time. I'm taking my comp to bed to watch a CSI episode.
 
Hiya u will be fine in the next few days, keep going and fight the hunger feelings.
Im having an early night myself it so helps i think.x
 
Hiya and welcome! You're doing really well so far. Keep with these boards and you'll be fine.
Look forward to following your journey.
Have a good weekend. :)
 
OK, so I basically averted last night's hunger attack by putting myself to bed early, BUT it was a hungry night altogether! With food dreams too. I think I will have SS+ days on the days I exercise so as not to go wacko and binge, as the evenings are my weak points. I had 3 porridge and 1 soup, 3l+ of water, but I picked today. Picking picking picking, why DO I do it? a little of this, a little of that... I just get so annoyed with myself!!! So tomorrow is a new week for me, I will nip that picking. Right now I avoided a McVities frenzy, just had a couple of tic tacs instead, hope it doesnt pull me out of ketosis!!

I wonder how everyone else stays sane on weekends!! I cook the family dinners for the week, the big sunday meal and I have a hard time with all the good smells (not that I eat it, it's just a reminder of what I'm not having is all)

Did loads of ironing and watched a new show, the lost girl, it was pretty good, will see what episode 2 will bring. Went out for a brisk walk too, just trying to keep busy. Can't really try clothes on as I haven't lost any significant weight yet, so I am just trying the whole patience bit.... but it's hard!

That's it for me tonight, signing out as I'm pooped.
 
A new week has started and a new outlook too. I'm convinced (though i don't want to shout it out too loudly), that I have found what the problem is for me on this diet, and why oh why it is hard for me not to pick over the day... I eat breakfast too early, yes, though sometimes i wake up ravenous, most times i don't but just eat it out of habit.

Yesterday I just had coffee, and i had my soup for lunch, leaving me with three shakes to last me into the evening. I had a porridge at around 5pm and double up and had my remaining 2 packs (porridge) at 9pm, leaving me fully satisfied... So my thinking, maybe I'll alternate and have soup at 5PM, but my goal is to have a double ration of porridge at the latest time possible, leaving me wholly satisfied when I go to bed. It might just work out, on tuesday and friday however, I will have brfstt as I have an exercise class, but then in the evening, i will have a small meal and a porridge. Essentially, I need to feel fully satiated when I go to bed in the evnings.
Also, I'm going to give the bars a break as they just don't satisfy me, some people break them up and eat them throughout the day, i just can't... and i think they may also trigger some sweets cravings which i don't usually have, even when i'm not dieting. i'll try this method out until i run out of packs and se how well it's worked out for me, but if it can keep me from picking... it's a keeper!!
 
Wow, what a difference a little grilled turkey and some courgettes make in a day!!! I am so enjoying this new way of eating (SS+/810 on the days I exercise). I seem to be fitting back in some of my pre-summer fiasco clothes, so as the scales have been put away, I think I'm heading in the right direction. Oh, I did have an extra porridge last night as I really need something warm and soothing before bedtime. Was real good today, so hopefully I will really have a good loss this week. It is so tempting to have little bits of this and that when you're feeding kids, it drives me nuts!!!
 
Well, today was quite a new experience for me. I ran around all day and had time to have only 1 soup for lunch. I am now sitting here trying to eat a bowl made up of three packs of porridge... I am so stuffed I had to put it down for a bit. I did drink all my water so that was good, but I never thought I'd last all day with basically less than nothing in me. I wonder what that does to the metabolism.

I am going to enjoy a weekend without kids, husband or mother around (first time in THREE years!!). There will be no cooking, and I'm actually thinking that this will be my very first 100% CD. As i don't intend to do anything strenuous, I will just have my 4 packs and nothing else will make me gravitate towards the kitchen. I just can't wait!! :D:D:D
 
Yesterday was hard at around 11 pm, I was actually in bed when my stomach started grumbling really hard, I let it but something woke me at 2 am and I was starving (not just mind-wise), I had eaten three porridges at 8:30 pm for godsakes, what is wrong with me?? So I got up and ate 1/4 of a pb bar, I figured that was really the minimum damage I could do.
Has anyone else experienced this?

I went to the gym this am, so I had a porridge before dropping the kids off to school, went to the gym, did the shopping (ate two slice of chicken meat), had my soup for lunch and now I'm hungry again!! I need help because this is not good for my planned weekend off (not from CD though). I had planned to have just my for packs, and I don't want my resolve to dwindle. What should I do?
 
The kids and hubby are away this weekend, today was so nice, not to cook, not to look after anyone but myself. I love them dearly, but getting some "me" time in is lush! So I went and weighed myself this am... the scales still read sts even though i've been really good. I'm confused, but I'm continuing my journey, I'm sure it'll catch up some time next week. I had my 4 packs, loads of coffee and 4l of water today. The mind hunger is still there, but not as bad as before. The physical hunger, however, has disappeared, so I'm pretty sure I'm in ketosis still. I don't do the pee on the stick thing as it's NEVER worked for me, it just stays a nice beige color, I try to go on the hungry/cold feeling.

I'm going to do another early night, so off to bed with myself to avoid all the temptations in the house.
 
Wow, this weekend was my first weekend 100% SS I'm pretty sure!! I did it, not sure I could do it again but sure as heck will try, especially if I want to lose most of my weight before xmas. I've added a new ticker so that I could focus on how much I need to lose for xmas. It seems feasible, if I don't stray.

Monday was good too, I had a soup for lunch, had a parent teacher meeting, so I didn't get home until late. I had my 3 porridge at once... it felt like I had a brick in my stomach afterwards, i'm not sure i'll repeat the experience.

Today I had to take DD to the hospital for some tests and i'm not making excuses, but of course I had one or two things not allowed on CD (shhh a kebab and a pice of lindt 85% chocolate). I had a porridge for bkfst and a soup for lunch. I know i sound like a dunce, but I hope it doesn't affect my weightloss too much for this week. I've lost 19 lbs in the last 22 days. It's not too shabby, but I need to continue forward, not just feel satisfied and start eating here and there.

Tomorrow is a tough day for me both physically as I'm running around town with the kids' activities and such and mentally as I make their lunch and dinner. I will do my very best not to pick. My CD counsellor advised me to drink some fizzy water whenever I felt I was hungry or started craving food. I will try her technique tomorrow, as by 3PM i've usually drank my 3l of water, I consider the rest of the day freebie.

I've calmed down a little bit with the coffee, I don't want to upset my stomach more than it is. Well I'm off to bed as I can't seem to keep my eyes open. See you guys tomorrow.
 
Dear diary,

Wednesday was really tough for me as I got to run around to do errands and take the kids around to their activities. DD then wanted to cook dinner (she's 8 bless her heart), but then she wanted me to taste it... I couldn't say no, hope you guys can forgive me!! It was really good and she was so happy that I enjoyed it. I ended up not having my last shake, but had some chicken to balance the carbs and such!

Today however, I'm cracking the whip once more... I've had 2l of water already and I'm about to have my first meal (veggie soup). I'm kind of worried as someone posted on the general cd board asking if curry is OK, I always add something to the soup otherwise it tastes quite blend, and I was wondering if I was actually sabotaging my efforts? I can't really say i've noticed a stall in my weightloss, but I just wonder.. anyway, I'll check back in later to tell you how the rest of my day went.
 
you are doing really well. keep going and dont give up. i dont think curry flavour should lead to a stall. anyway, stalls are good, because they ALWAYS lead to a WHOOOOSH!!!
 
:cry::cry::cry:And after cracking the whip on Thursday, I need to be whipped. I had to work from home today and the fridge has been calling me alllll day! It's driving me mad. I've had my three packs already : porridge for breakfast, soup for lunch, another porridge 15 mns ago, 3.5l of water. I went to the gym today so I'm having an SS+ day, but if i'm being honest, I've already had like 100 g of chicken, I'm left with 20 grams of chicken and about 30 of veggies, and that my friends, for a Friday night is pitiful! whattimagonnado??? Thank goodness it's not carby foods, but I wish I could control the nibbling!
 
It's funny how up and down you can get doing diets!! I'm feeling on top of the world today.. :) I haven't been doing too well lately and I only lost 2 lbs last week... but I had a stern talking to. I don't want to drag this any longer than I really need, plus it's not like I'm rolling in money to be wasting it. I want to lose at least 5lbs this week to makeup for last week's mistakes.

I have stopped the tetras and the bars because I wasn't "counting" them in my daily intakes as it was a little bit in my coffee here and there, a little nibble of the bars here and there... some chicken or veggies on the side, i'm sure I was hitting more like the 900 cals than staying in the 500s.

Also, I've decided to change my outlook on dieting a bit as I've been pondering the weight vs dress size issue... so i tried on clothes this morning (size 14) and though they're a bit tight, they can close which is more than what i could do better. I'm also more firm which probably means i'm not losing as much muscle than I was last year with no exercise!! I may not know if i'd prefer to be ideal size or ideal weight, but I want to get there firm!!!

I went to the gym this morning and I felt good about it, I'm enjoying a soup right now (my first meal of the day) and my resolve is to not let anything deter me this week and I will not anything extra pass my lips.

Well that's it for right now, wish me luck guys!! this is my turning point week.
 
I'm sorry I haven't been on lately, I have not been off the wagon though!! I've had a lot of family things going on... but now I'm back and I hope I have a really good weigh-in this week. I'm fitting into my pants more now, so I'm glad that I have continued to be strong.

I have come to the decision that goal or not, I will stop November 30th and go up the steps, take Xmas day and New Years off, but be good in between. whatever weight I still need to lose, I will do one week SS and then go on to 810. I think it's the only way for me to think I'm not depriving myself. This weight issue is a head game (maybe for most it is too) and if I aim to win it, I need to take it on by not ignoring food, but rather confronting it. So I need to lose the bulk before November 30th, but the rest will have to come off slowly. I will also increase my exercise at that time to make up for the increase of food intake.
Hope everyone has a great week, I'll keep you posted on my weightloss :)
 
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