Need to lose 10 stone at the very least!

[Pipaluk]

I hate that saying too but one of my sisters brings it up rather alot. She is not overweight and I know she was trying to help but being told I am morbidly obese 24/7 is not nice. So next time she says it I am going to say "Actually I am no longer that" might miss out that is only just .3 off it though lol. My family and friends do not know my true weight so its been nice to share it with people who are not just healthcare professionals.
Feeling much better this week thanks, probably helps its not TOTM, which I think like alot of ladies I get a down around then. With the depression it can change quickly but I do think eating better and doing some exercise really does help my general mood.

I also never really told anybody my real weight when I was at my largest, I fortunately was able to hold it well and people thought I was about 15stone when really I was nearly 20. When I joined SW, I actually admitted to my family how big I was because I knew it didn't matter then as I wasn't going to be that big for long.. of course my brother then had to keep winding me up about being ''morbidly obese'' :8855: It was nice to tell him when my BMI dropped below 40, he soon shut up lol, saying that he hasn't mentioned my weight in a while.
I am glad you are feeling better this week, you will definitely be seeing your 5 stone award this week as well. Well done missus!

hi pipaluck marie em

i to hate that word it makes me feel like something someone as walked in it really does our nurse and drs when i have to go are lovely they try not to use it unless they have to and thats to scare you to do something but oh my 2 stick thin people well sort of friends who i see later on a thursday night after my reshape meeting cannot stop saying the horrid word i mean why keep saying morbidly obese to someone who knows for crying out loud i just keep saying to them hey i can slim and i am wot can you two do cause watch out mrs stud muffin is on her way lolol

i now take them with a pinch of salt someone who bring others down be on a forum or a friend or whatever they have the problem not us and just take it out of us they need the help the poor sods not us
xxchezxx

Hahahaha! You make me laugh Chezz, it's a good job you can take them with a pinch of salt. It's like I always say, a fat person CAN lose weight but a skinny person with such a foul personality won't ever lose it (unless someone gives them a good slap!). Some school kids in New Look decided to call me the fat girl with hippie hair, normally I would of taken offence but I just had to laugh to be honest.. they didn't like it when I did though

 

[chezz]

hi pipaluck they want slapping in the face with a trout fish saying that thats what most of them look like i mean come on when do you see a chunkie stud muffin down not very often but these clones cause these stick thin women alll look the same they stand there with a face like a bag of frogs and they look like they got them in there gob as well and there news looks like they have just smelt somethink and there giving that stare and thats there normal look sod that im no fish lady im mrs muffin lolol

 

[1978Emma]

exactly Chezz, or should I say Mrs stud muffin! you are doing so well, don't let those who say such things bring you down, you are worth more than that. Morbidly obese sounds so clinical, its like a judgement, oh I hate it, I will just stick with being cuddly!! Em xx

 

[chezz]

yeah i like that or my bro says chunkie monkey or porkie do not mind that neither i hate that morbid so much im happy not morbid lololol

xxchezzxx

 

[1978Emma]

I always refer to myself as chunkie monkey as well ha ha, sounds much more fun than morbidly obese which sounds yuk, I think it was you the other day who said chunk of love, sorry if I am mistaken but love that as well. Em xx

 

[Pipaluk]

I will just stick with being cuddly!!

Can't go wrong with cuddly! x

 

[xMariex]

Hi guys so I have been feeling really tired and although since they removed my thyroid they haven't got the dose right, my last results for no reason have shown very high TSH levels. Basically the higher the TSH level the lower thyroid production so its like having a very severe underactive thyroid. My thyroid was removed so its not underactive just not there but its maintained with thyroxine but the levels are so high and certain other blood markers it could indicate my cancer is back. I know I need another radiation treatment as I still have a small amount of thyroid cancer cells (how I have that since my thyroid is gone is beyond me) but basically I should not have any thyroid cells so the ones left are cancerous. The small amount are nothing to worry about they will repeat my radiation in a few months and they are not growing. Which is why they can leave time between the treatments because its not really a problem, only would be if a left it years rather than months we are talking that slow. But the idea that it could be back in some other area terrifies me. I have to see the oncologist soon.

And although its not such a pressing matter I am on course for STS. Doctor told me that was brilliant considering how high the TSH level was but its got me down. They are going to yet again adjust my thyroxine put me on a higher dose so hopefully I should see an improvement in the next few weeks. And its not the first time my TSH levels went up, whats upsetting is even before this I am not at the level I should be. So if its nothing I wont feel as bad as this but I wont get to a healthy level for some reason they cant get it right usually its just like having a mild underactive thyroid but these recent symptoms and test results are just upsetting.

Sorry if I bored you all, I am just a bit depressed and needed to rant. I feel tired, hungry and depressed. Apprently its common to feel this tired and down when the levels are like this . My friend has a underactive thyroid and she says she feels the same when her TSH levels are up. I started the higher does yesterday so hopefully thats all I need.

 

[1978Emma]

OMG xMariex it sounds like you are going through a mega tough time at the moment, never apologise for writing on here, thats what this site is for its not just for when things are going well diet wise but when life gets in the way as well, I am sure its a worrying time for you, I am sorry you are feeling so low, its not really surprising when you think of what you are having to face right now. I can't speak from experience as I have never been through what you are facing so I just want to send you some cyber hugs and to say that I am thinking of you, Em xx

 

[xMariex]

Thanks Emma yesterday was a very low point for me. I am trying to wait and see what happens at oncology but even so they have never yet got my TSH levels at what they should be. Just right now I am so tired all the time. I was even thinking that considering I had so much weight to lose I might as well not bother anymore "Used to being fat anyway" but I rectified that thinking this morning. It is easier to rant on here because my friends and family worry enough without me reinforcing how bad I feel.

 

[Pipaluk]

Afternoon Marie.

I am not really good at knowing what to say when it comes to such subjects, however, my thoughts are with you and have some e-hugs! Don't give up with your weight, you have done really well losing all that weight in such a small period of time despite everything else going on... just take it easy and you will fight through everything. xx​

 

[1978Emma]

xMariex I think you are right to let off steam on here, its always harder to tell those you are closest to say outside of something like this like family and friends as you don't always want to worry them but just remember we are here for you on here and you are doing so well weight loss wise, you are truly inspirational hun, I know for me you were one of the main posters so far that helped to inspire me into thinking I could do it this time. I know it must be so hard right now to focus on losing weight when you have so much else going on for you, all the extra worries,it may be that you have to take a short break from the weight loss thingy as it can take so much out of us and you need all your energy at the moment to fight the other battles. It must be so draining and being so tired is bound to make you feel even worse, just take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, I can't talk from experience on the battle you are facing with the physical health but I know when I am very low I find using self soothe techniques really helpful for changing my mood, so like having a relaxing shower, bath, having a nice cup of your fav hot drink, just listening to some nice music, just doing anything that helps to relax your body and mind. Hugs and be strong hun, Em xx

 

[xMariex]

Thanks guys. I am not going to lose aim of my goal weight wise. If it takes a few weeks to get back on track with my TSH levels so be it but I wont use it as an excuse to not eat right, binge and I am just doing gentle exercise due to the tiredness levels. I am not gaining so thats something, my doctor told me they were impressed so that was nice to hear. Usually when I get low I turn to food but instead I have decided my whole place needs a clean up not thats it messy but slowly but surely its becoming ultra clean. And also it means I am on my feet moving around and I got some music to chill too when the tirdness levels get crazy. Thanks for letting me rant its been a really hard few days.

 

[1978Emma]

good on you xMariex, it says alot that you are not turning to food like you would have done, that just shows how much of a lifestyle change you have made, you are bound to get urges for many of us food has been our best friend at times as well as our worst enemy! I think the cleaning thing is good, I try and distract myself when low and feel I want to binge, I'll suddenly decide to do the garden or clean part of the house or sort something out that I had been putting off, anything to just distract myself for long enough until that intense urge to binge passes.

Anyway just wanted to say you are doing so well and are such a brave and strong person, Em xx

 

[xMariex]

TSH levels still high so I was hoping at worst a STS. But I was nicely surprised to be -4lbs. Got lots of tests coming up over the next couple of weeks, my scan results already done and it looks like the cancer has not spread. Still have those thyroid cancer cells (the ones amazingly still around when I have no thyroid). I will have radioactive scan end of the year for those as they are not growing and because I had it done not too long ago, (these cans too often can cause cancer go figure). Although it has not spread I do have some pre cancerous ones about in another area, because I am already a cancer patient it makes it more risky so they will need to keep a eye on it. Now to get my TSH levels sorted. I do not expect them to get me into a healthy level they have no managed that yet but not like this. I can handle mild underactive thyroid like symtoms but not the ones which make me want to sleep all the time and very depressed.

But at least I know why I am so depressed and its my body chemicals as I am happy with my loss. Oh and I have hit another mini goal 5 stone overall loss. The next one is getting into the 16s.

 

[1978Emma]

well done on losing 4 lbs, thats fab and 5 stone overall is amazing, well done you, hope everything else improves for you xMariex, love Em xx

 

[nessa123]

TSH levels still high so I was hoping at worst a STS. But I was nicely surprised to be -4lbs. Got lots of tests coming up over the next couple of weeks, my scan results already done and it looks like the cancer has not spread. Still have those thyroid cancer cells (the ones amazingly still around when I have no thyroid). I will have radioactive scan end of the year for those as they are not growing and because I had it done not too long ago, (these cans too often can cause cancer go figure). Although it has not spread I do have some pre cancerous ones about in another area, because I am already a cancer patient it makes it more risky so they will need to keep a eye on it. Now to get my TSH levels sorted. I do not expect them to get me into a healthy level they have no managed that yet but not like this. I can handle mild underactive thyroid like symtoms but not the ones which make me want to sleep all the time and very depressed.

But at least I know why I am so depressed and its my body chemicals as I am happy with my loss. Oh and I have hit another mini goal 5 stone overall loss. The next one is getting into the 16s.

You are doing amazing well done xx

 

[xMariex]

So my TOTM came early and TSH levels still super high and I only lost 1.5lbs but its a loss so I will take it. And I am close to getting into those 16s! Still very tired all the time and sadly very hungry because of those TSH levels. But considering my doctors expected me to gain, I am very proud to lose. But it has upset me a little bit.

 

[1978Emma]

well done xMariex, I am also on my TOTM at the moment and am feeling bloated as hell, my appetite is huge and I am going from weepy to irritable in such a short space of time, oh I do hate TOTM! I think your weight loss at this time is great, I am not expecting to see any weight loss this week as whilst I have stuck to my plan every single day and not eaten any more than usual, this TOTM is making me feel so horrible and I usually always gain or stay the same but at least I know there is reason so we will see come Sat but I'm not expecting to see any amazing results thats for sure. The thing is my periods basically stopped almost for years with the odd one here and there and since starting on this plan they seem to be returning to normal so thats a positive I guess! Em xx

 

[xMariex]

well done xMariex, I am also on my TOTM at the moment and am feeling bloated as hell, my appetite is huge and I am going from weepy to irritable in such a short space of time, oh I do hate TOTM! I think your weight loss at this time is great, I am not expecting to see any weight loss this week as whilst I have stuck to my plan every single day and not eaten any more than usual, this TOTM is making me feel so horrible and I usually always gain or stay the same but at least I know there is reason so we will see come Sat but I'm not expecting to see any amazing results thats for sure. The thing is my periods basically stopped almost for years with the odd one here and there and since starting on this plan they seem to be returning to normal so thats a positive I guess! Em xx

Ok now I am getting creeped out apart from the carbs we are basically both in the CC and healthy eating, both veggies, similiar age, starting weight, same goal weight, same height and you get your TOTM same time. And mine were also really bad especially last year I would miss loads. Do you have PCOS that is what made mine so all over the place? And with PCOS they say if you lose weight it can help regulate them. I did not have one for a year and then at my heaviest they went normal which they werent when I was "normal" weight. Now they are back on. In a way I am relieved but at the same time they are so painful I can not move for the first couple of days even with the prescription painkillers So this weigh in and next one will be affected but hopefully I will see an improvement even if slight with my TSH levels as I am getting a bit down with it.

You have done so well yourself and I am with you change in lifestyle which you can sustain ie for life is much better for me then a fad diet. Half them I can not do for health reasons and the one I lost all that weight on before I not only regained it back but doubled the weight gain. I know I am like a addict going through withdrawls problem with over eaters is you still need to eat so unlike when I gave up smoking which you can quit and still live, food you still need but in moderaton. Such a balancing act.

 

[1978Emma]

ha ha xmariex, I know we seem to have so much in common! I haven't officially been diagnosed with PCOS but my gp thinks I have it, only this year we found I had sleep apnea and was pre-diabetic and so my gp wanted to concentrate on those first but I have so many of the PCOS symptoms , yes my periods basically either seemed to stop completely or I would have them once in a blue moon and now in the last eight week period since I have been on this plan I have had two so they seem to be coming back to normal (ish) which whilst I hate TOTM is a positive for sure. I know what you mean re the pain when I was younger I always thought I had painful periods but when I get them now and in the past when they hardly ever did come when they did the pain was absolutely dire, I was literally crippled over, for the first few days especially I look like death, the pain is so bad and I appear all flu like and just feel so tired, its not like when I used to have regular periods at all, the pain is like something else entirely which I am sure you will understand all too well.

The sleep apnea diagnosis was for a mild form that said it was leaving me almost comatosed and now since I have lost over 2 stone all the symptoms of that seem to have gone, went for another check up at hospital today for it and the nurse I got to see was so pleased with my weight loss and the fact I am trying to turn things around. I said that what did it was being given that ruddy sleep apnea mask, it freaked the hell out of me wearing it, for me it was like shock therapy and shocked me into action! ha ha

Now thats sorted I may get a chance to look more into this PCOS, it scares me I guess admitting I have anything else to face but my gp said weight loss could really help with the symptoms.

Oh you are so right, its like we can't totally give up our addiction of food, I think its the way to go though with moderation, its much more sustainable, I would go as far as to say most days I don't feel like I'm on a typical diet as I am seeing it more as a long term lifestyle change, I actually am enjoying the new food I am eating and its certainly helping to improve things health wise and looks wise as its always great going down in size!

You have done so well weight loss wise plus you are so brave having to tackle everything else at the same time, I am really pleased you have managed to lose so much weight and I know you have def been one of the main people on this board whose support has meant so much to me. You are aiming for the same goal weight as me as well I see, I would so love to be 11 stone, I am just trying to chip away at it a bit at a time.

Em xx