New Beginning... Magiclove's Diary
- Thread starter MagdaX
- Start date
ReezieJay
Full Member
Hey mags hunny. Glad to see everything is working out for you. See what happens when you set your mind to something. So what of you've had a couple of lapses. You are an inspiration. You are honest and only human. You have the rest of your life to enjoy and if your enjoying life now what's a couple of weeks in the grand scheme of things. You have struggled but I think maybe you need a few bad choices for you to realise what you really want in the long run. Which is to get to goal and stay there. Wishing you all the best babe. Just take one day at a time and those days quickly turn into weeks x
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been around but a lot has happened in the past few days.
I had my weigh in last night and according to the scales I put on 7lbs.
I nearly fainted when I heard the news. What??? 7lbs?
I have been 100% abstinent since last Tuesday so there is no way I could have put on weight!!!
I was due on (came on today) but still...
Anyway. After a very disappointing reaction and a complete lack of support from my LLC I have made a decision to come off the plan for a while and try healthy eating and exercise for a bit.
LL is clearly not working for me anymore. I haven't lost anything for weeks if not months. Yeah partly because I lapsed a few times but even more so I no longer think I can stick to it and get to my goal successfully.
I'm utterly fed up with the lack of progress be it due to my own fault, disastrous LLC or whatever else it may be.
I've had a long think about it and it's not been easy to make that choice but at the moment I feel it's the right thing to do.
For me.
I still think LL is amazing and I will always be its ambassador but at the moment it's not working for me the way it should (and I kinda felt that way for weeks now).
I will continue my journey and will keep popping in to see how you all are and update my progress.
Please don't judge me ladies and don't think badly of me.
I've always been honest with you all so I thought you deserve to know.
I will give it a go till Easter and if I fail to lose anything I WILL be back! I promise.
I just need a break and try a different approach.
LL wasn't motivating me anymore and I know that by refocusing and giving myself a kick up the bum I will get my modjo back.
The plan is to hit the gym 4-5 times a week and continue with healthy low carb diet.
In theory I know it can work as I've done it before and have been successful with it.
Mentally I'm more ready to give this a go than continuing with LL if that makes sense. It might take me longer to lose that last stone and a bit but that's fine.
I know it's the right choice for me at the moment.
Why do I feel so guilty though...
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
I had my weigh in last night and according to the scales I put on 7lbs.
I nearly fainted when I heard the news. What??? 7lbs?
I have been 100% abstinent since last Tuesday so there is no way I could have put on weight!!!
I was due on (came on today) but still...
Anyway. After a very disappointing reaction and a complete lack of support from my LLC I have made a decision to come off the plan for a while and try healthy eating and exercise for a bit.
LL is clearly not working for me anymore. I haven't lost anything for weeks if not months. Yeah partly because I lapsed a few times but even more so I no longer think I can stick to it and get to my goal successfully.
I'm utterly fed up with the lack of progress be it due to my own fault, disastrous LLC or whatever else it may be.
I've had a long think about it and it's not been easy to make that choice but at the moment I feel it's the right thing to do.
For me.
I still think LL is amazing and I will always be its ambassador but at the moment it's not working for me the way it should (and I kinda felt that way for weeks now).
I will continue my journey and will keep popping in to see how you all are and update my progress.
Please don't judge me ladies and don't think badly of me.
I've always been honest with you all so I thought you deserve to know.
I will give it a go till Easter and if I fail to lose anything I WILL be back! I promise.
I just need a break and try a different approach.
LL wasn't motivating me anymore and I know that by refocusing and giving myself a kick up the bum I will get my modjo back.
The plan is to hit the gym 4-5 times a week and continue with healthy low carb diet.
In theory I know it can work as I've done it before and have been successful with it.
Mentally I'm more ready to give this a go than continuing with LL if that makes sense. It might take me longer to lose that last stone and a bit but that's fine.
I know it's the right choice for me at the moment.
Why do I feel so guilty though...
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
LadyT
Tough But Sexy X
Mags, that must have been a tough decision to come to and I personally would never judge you, look at how far you have come with this, yes things havent gone the way you want it to recently but that isnt to say that you cnt continue to lose weight your way with healthy eating and exercise.
I hope you do stick around the forum because your support has been invaluable to not only me but lots of others I am sure.
I wish you all the best with your lovelife and losing & maintaining, hopefully soon your weight.
Good luck, going to miss you hunny xxxxxx
I hope you do stick around the forum because your support has been invaluable to not only me but lots of others I am sure.
I wish you all the best with your lovelife and losing & maintaining, hopefully soon your weight.
Good luck, going to miss you hunny xxxxxx
gracielou09
Silver Member
Aw Mags, dont feel guilty.
You have to do what you feel is right. No-one will judge you, you know you have some amazing friends on here and will appreciate your honesty and always have and will support you 100% lovely.
You've come a long way and sounds like your body is saying enough's enough. Go with it and see what happens. You've done it before and you'll be fine this time I know it.
It's all coming together for you now, new bod, new job etc
BTW you look amazing - love the new hair!!!!
You go girl!!!:girlpower:
xxxxx
You have to do what you feel is right. No-one will judge you, you know you have some amazing friends on here and will appreciate your honesty and always have and will support you 100% lovely.
You've come a long way and sounds like your body is saying enough's enough. Go with it and see what happens. You've done it before and you'll be fine this time I know it.
It's all coming together for you now, new bod, new job etc
BTW you look amazing - love the new hair!!!!
You go girl!!!:girlpower:
xxxxx
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Thank you so much ladies!
Right! So I just spent the last hour reading my own diary and boy did I go through a lot! LOL
Up and down, up and down. Like a little rollercoaster!
First of all I want to apologise formy little rant earlier on today.
I had a crap day yesterday and after finding out I put on a massive 7lbs I just felt like giving up and letting go.
Boy I wish I went on here first and asked your advice...
Which I'm basically doing now.
What would you do?
Once again I need your wisdom and advice.
I keep going back and forth with my choices. I keep thinking I've made up my mind and an hour later I seem to have changed my mind.
Coming off LL terrifies me but then again I struggle to see the point of continuing if I don't lose any weight.
Why is it so hard for me to regain focus and strength.
In fact I know what it is...
Partly it's fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of the success. I have never been under 180lbs in my adult life and what I seem to have been doing is sabotaging myself to prevent me from going under that weight. Wow! As i'm typing this I am realising that this makes perfect sense.
But why??
WTF???!!!! And why can't I do anything about it? Why do I give in?
God this is sooooo much harder than I thought...
Right! So I just spent the last hour reading my own diary and boy did I go through a lot! LOL
Up and down, up and down. Like a little rollercoaster!
First of all I want to apologise formy little rant earlier on today.
I had a crap day yesterday and after finding out I put on a massive 7lbs I just felt like giving up and letting go.
Boy I wish I went on here first and asked your advice...
Which I'm basically doing now.
What would you do?
Once again I need your wisdom and advice.
I keep going back and forth with my choices. I keep thinking I've made up my mind and an hour later I seem to have changed my mind.
Coming off LL terrifies me but then again I struggle to see the point of continuing if I don't lose any weight.
Why is it so hard for me to regain focus and strength.
In fact I know what it is...
Partly it's fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of the success. I have never been under 180lbs in my adult life and what I seem to have been doing is sabotaging myself to prevent me from going under that weight. Wow! As i'm typing this I am realising that this makes perfect sense.
But why??
WTF???!!!! And why can't I do anything about it? Why do I give in?
God this is sooooo much harder than I thought...
LadyT
Tough But Sexy X
Hey Mags, I would ask yourself some questions, which by the way I suspect you have already and thats why you are canvassing for opinions now.
How will you feel not reaching the goal you had in mind?
Is it time to try Lite again or even RTM?
How will you cope with throwing yourself into the food place again?
I realise 7lb must have been a huge shock to your system, is it fat, probably not, will some of it come off next week, of course it will.
If I was in your shoes, I would look for an alternative within LL, but please do not think I am judging you if you choose to go it alone. My words are purely to make you think about things in maybe a more rational way than you did after the shock of the 7lbs. A bit like my situation and why I was feeling all over the place today. I would hate for you to go it alone and struggle and also potentially put some of the weight back on, you dont deserve to you have worked hard to get to where you are now.
Ultimately only you can decide what to do chick, but please know either way we are all here to support you. xxxxx
How will you feel not reaching the goal you had in mind?
Is it time to try Lite again or even RTM?
How will you cope with throwing yourself into the food place again?
I realise 7lb must have been a huge shock to your system, is it fat, probably not, will some of it come off next week, of course it will.
If I was in your shoes, I would look for an alternative within LL, but please do not think I am judging you if you choose to go it alone. My words are purely to make you think about things in maybe a more rational way than you did after the shock of the 7lbs. A bit like my situation and why I was feeling all over the place today. I would hate for you to go it alone and struggle and also potentially put some of the weight back on, you dont deserve to you have worked hard to get to where you are now.
Ultimately only you can decide what to do chick, but please know either way we are all here to support you. xxxxx
weevikki
Full Member
Hi. U seem in a really mixed up place at the mo! You've done so well but the scales saying 7 lb on is too much to bare. I know that feeling. I went away for 2 nights and put on 9 lbs! It came off the next week but if I hadn't gone back I would not have lost it again. I am scunnered with the program a bit too so I've started rtm with upping my exercise. I hope this will ensure a slow but steady weight loss. Sounds like maybe you could find another counsellor? It's rubbish when they aren't giving you the support you need. What ever you decide don't beat yourself up. Youve come far and done well. X
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Thanks Vikki.
Yeah changing LLC has been on the agenda for a while.
It all seems weird. One minute she seems lovely the next she seems like she couldn't care less.
Last night was anything but pleasant which prob made me panic and throw my toys out of the pram.
And tonight she sent me an email saying she's concerned about me. She wants me to pop in to see her in the week.
I might...
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
Yeah changing LLC has been on the agenda for a while.
It all seems weird. One minute she seems lovely the next she seems like she couldn't care less.
Last night was anything but pleasant which prob made me panic and throw my toys out of the pram.
And tonight she sent me an email saying she's concerned about me. She wants me to pop in to see her in the week.
I might...
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
carrieclaus
Gold Member
dont feel guilty honey, i too seem to be sabotaging myself when i get closer to goal and the only way i could think of breaking that cycle was to stop weighing. i had my class last night and i do not know what i weigh nor do i want to just now. why should scales determine how we feel wihin ourselves?? why not start rtm and if after the 12wks your still not satisfied do a couple of weeks of abstinance to shift that last wee bit? only you know whats right for yourself chick and one thing you can count on is that we will always be here... sometimes a little break is enough to kick start weight loss again. xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Hi Mags,
I'm concerned about you too. You said it yourself. You've been through a lot recently, like a little roller coaster - weight loss, love life, job, LL, exercise and more - a lot to cope with.
You asked for advice. My advice, based on my own experience and that of so many others on this forum. If you don't continue and get to goal then do RTM you are likely to find it harder to maintain.
You are not alone in finding it so much harder as you get towards goal.
It isn't that LL isn't working any more. You've changed the way you're using the programme, lots of us do. As we get lighter in weight we introduce more exercise, push the boundaries, maybe allow the odd lapse or tmie out thinking it won't make a difference, eventually it does and it's harder to get back on track.
LL is life changing as you say.
It is scary getting to goal for the first time in years and knowing that you will have to stay in control and knowing that statistics say you are likely to put the weight back on again - but hey -
some people are successful - why shouldn't you be?
You know you've got will-power. Look what you've already achieved - fantastic.
What makes you feel afraid to see it through to the end?
Have a look at the Returners section - how many people say they thought they could finish losing the weight their own way and then come back and wish they'd done RTM?
You may want to discuss these feelings with your LLC?
Good luck hun. You are so nearly there. xxx
I'm concerned about you too. You said it yourself. You've been through a lot recently, like a little roller coaster - weight loss, love life, job, LL, exercise and more - a lot to cope with.
You asked for advice. My advice, based on my own experience and that of so many others on this forum. If you don't continue and get to goal then do RTM you are likely to find it harder to maintain.
You are not alone in finding it so much harder as you get towards goal.
It isn't that LL isn't working any more. You've changed the way you're using the programme, lots of us do. As we get lighter in weight we introduce more exercise, push the boundaries, maybe allow the odd lapse or tmie out thinking it won't make a difference, eventually it does and it's harder to get back on track.
LL is life changing as you say.
It is scary getting to goal for the first time in years and knowing that you will have to stay in control and knowing that statistics say you are likely to put the weight back on again - but hey -
some people are successful - why shouldn't you be?
You know you've got will-power. Look what you've already achieved - fantastic.
What makes you feel afraid to see it through to the end?
Have a look at the Returners section - how many people say they thought they could finish losing the weight their own way and then come back and wish they'd done RTM?
You may want to discuss these feelings with your LLC?
Good luck hun. You are so nearly there. xxx
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
I know I know!
As always you ooze wisdom and knowledge.
I found myself being stuck and completely demotivated.
I have to say reading my diary back gave me a proper reality check.
I also of course spoke to my OH about it and he bless him says he will support me either way but ultimately he said its my decision.
The bottom line is I'm still nearly 190lbs (sigh)
I'm not done and frankly I'm not ready to do it on my own.
I guess out of despair I just wanted to run away and hide.
I'm glad I didn't. X
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
As always you ooze wisdom and knowledge.
I found myself being stuck and completely demotivated.
I have to say reading my diary back gave me a proper reality check.
I also of course spoke to my OH about it and he bless him says he will support me either way but ultimately he said its my decision.
The bottom line is I'm still nearly 190lbs (sigh)
I'm not done and frankly I'm not ready to do it on my own.
I guess out of despair I just wanted to run away and hide.
I'm glad I didn't. X
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
slendablenda
Gold Member
No place to hide from us hun - we're all here for each other, as you have been so supportive to everyone, maybe it's your turn to receive a bit of support back xx
I'm so glad your OH is supportive. He must be very proud of you.
He sure as hell wanted you back big-time didn't he.
Love and hugs Magda, don't give up hun. I sense you do really want to see it through. By the summer you'll be ready to flash the flesh. xxx
I'm so glad your OH is supportive. He must be very proud of you.
He sure as hell wanted you back big-time didn't he.
Love and hugs Magda, don't give up hun. I sense you do really want to see it through. By the summer you'll be ready to flash the flesh. xxx
Gembritney
Silver Member
Mags im so so sorry ur in a confused place at the moment. and everyone has given you amazing advice. we will never judge you on any decision you make. Ur an inspiration, a role model! we look up to you! i think changing LLC will definatly help you by the sounds of it xxxxxx
gracielou09
Silver Member
No way are you weak!!
We can all be a bit indecisive hun, your human and sounds like your at a bit of a crossroads!
Like you said, it's Day 1 .......I'm sure your going to crack it this week. We're all routing for you huni.
Big hugs :grouphugg:
xxxx
We can all be a bit indecisive hun, your human and sounds like your at a bit of a crossroads!
Like you said, it's Day 1 .......I'm sure your going to crack it this week. We're all routing for you huni.
Big hugs :grouphugg:
xxxx
ReezieJay
Full Member
Mags. You are really beating yourself up. SO STOP IT. Its not our place to Judge you its you judging youself. Even if we were in a position to tell you what to do and tell you off and tell you your being silly we WOULDNT. You are not a weak individual. Youve just reached a place you dont recognise and your a bit lost. With your own will power and know how and our support (coz thats all your gonna get from us. No judgement or slaps in the face) You will find your way again. I dont know if youve done Drama Triangles but right now you are sat in the Victim corner and the only one persicuting you is yourself. We are here to offer advise and try to rescue you but thats not why were here. Advice we can give but you can only rescue yourself. So time to find a map i think
I realise that you are not at your goal weight but out of curiousity how are you feeling about your actual body shape?
Would your lack of motivation be due to the fact that you are really happy?? Or do you still want to lose that little bit more??
If so you know what you want so go for it. I cant see how going it alone will help you tho. You need to go back to the start, you have already re-read your diary which was great advice just go back to that same mind set you were in then. Stick to it 100% and dont give up and you will get there.
Lots of Love Huni
x
I realise that you are not at your goal weight but out of curiousity how are you feeling about your actual body shape?
Would your lack of motivation be due to the fact that you are really happy?? Or do you still want to lose that little bit more??
If so you know what you want so go for it. I cant see how going it alone will help you tho. You need to go back to the start, you have already re-read your diary which was great advice just go back to that same mind set you were in then. Stick to it 100% and dont give up and you will get there.
Lots of Love Huni
x
Lozz
Ready For Change!
Really pleased you've posted your thoughts and fears Mags, thats a big enough indication that you still have enough in you to complete what you have started!
Congratulations for commiting to yourself!
I have every faith that you CAN and WILL get to target... and think how you'll feel WHEN you get there!
1 day at a time lady!!!
Congratulations for commiting to yourself!
I have every faith that you CAN and WILL get to target... and think how you'll feel WHEN you get there!
1 day at a time lady!!!
MagdaX
is Magdalicious
Thanks darling. Yeah. The wobble is over. I'm back to my old determined self!
Day 2 nearly over and I have to say it's been remarkably easy!
I've had all my water and 3 packs so will treat myself to a nice hot vanilla late in a bit.
Really busy at work as covering in another store (again).
Going to bed in a minute as I'm knackered. One more day then I'm off for 4 longs days!
QT with OH coming up!!!!
Hope everyone is doing ok xx
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
Day 2 nearly over and I have to say it's been remarkably easy!
I've had all my water and 3 packs so will treat myself to a nice hot vanilla late in a bit.
Really busy at work as covering in another store (again).
Going to bed in a minute as I'm knackered. One more day then I'm off for 4 longs days!
QT with OH coming up!!!!
Hope everyone is doing ok xx
Sent from my iPhone 4 using MiniMins
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