New Me, New Diary! Maintenance Begins

[minilady]

Hiya Tracey

Got my books from Amazon today, same two you ordered so be interested to hear what you think of them, will let you know how I get on.

Yes, I can't wait to get mine, I think they should come by the end of this week. It will be good to see what you think and compare notes

Never heard of Radio Frequency Treatment, be interested to know more about it, seems expensive, but if it works I suppose. Must look at your other thread, see if anyone else has had it done.

No replies to other thread, maybe this is a new thing Discussed it with Scott, and I'm going to phone for a consultation. The lady I spoke to yesterday said it only works if there is fat there. This made me wonder if there isn't a lot of fat, maybe you don't need as many treatments?

I'll let you know how I get on.

I think I'll post again on the other thread to bump it along, I'd like to know if anyone else knows anything about it before I waste loads of money

Have a good day, enjoy the sunshine, bit damp here today, but sun still shining.


xx

Promising to be a lovely day, so off to the beach again

Take care

Tracey
x

 

[MadamDotty]

Promising to be a lovely day, so off to the beach again

Take care

Tracey
x

I'm very envious of you living so close to the sea, I grew up in South Wales on the coast and I do miss the sea. Have a great time, don't get burnt!

xx

 

[KD]

Have been giving in to binge temptations, not nightly as I did pre diet, but enough to make me panic a little.

and

I think I've starved myself a bit and then of course come the evening I want to binge!

Hope you don't mind me gategrashing your thread but this really got me thinking.

Do I ever 'want to binge'. Ummm. I'm not sure whether it's such a conscious act for me anyway.

I can start off thinking "I'll just have this and that', (which I know I can). I'm feeling in control, feel sure I will just eat this and that, then all of a sudden this and that turns into this and that and another and another etc.

It's as if the conscious part turns off. I don't want to think about stopping. If I do, then I'm sure that one more of 'this' and I'll be fine. But it doesn't work like that sometimes. I completely turn off that part of my brain. When a binge is bad, there are no thought processes..just a chain reaction that takes me back and forth to the fridge. Like being on automatic pilot or in a hypnotic mode.

Often, it's only when I've stopped can I look back and think 'crikey....what have I done'

I so hope these books can give me an insight as to why I do these things. Perhaps if I understand, then I can do something about it.

Just out of interest, do you think that knowing why you do it will stop it happening? Is it not enough to know that it happens and it's got to stop?

I got to the state where I realised that whatever the reason, there was a good chance that I just had to stop it anyway. I might be able to 'blame' a troubled childhood, my genes, the fact I have dieted too much in the past which made me in diet mode, but at the end of the day, it was up to me to change the pattern.

 

[canireallydothis!!]

I love it when KD pops up unexpectedly on a thread and gives a twopennorth, well, usually about 69 quids worth, but anyway

Is it not enough to know that its happening, hmmmm, hasnt been for me in the past, its just kept happening, and whilst Im not powerless to stop it, its harder to stop than carry on, and I havent had the strength there to stop it as eating is so much nicer than stopping.

Thats been the past, I used to panic, thinking I hadnt had enough to eat, Id faint or die or the world would cave in becuase I hadnt had enough food. There was no way I would go from breakfast to tea without eating even if Id had a butty or a big grill up, I mean, for goodness sake, It was 1pm, thats lunch time, if I didnt eat lunch then I would die from lack of food at the very least.

Yet on CD, I have 3 shakes per day and quite happily plod on, on 790 I have 3 shakes and a meal and love it, yet why when Im not on CD do I have the urge to eat??

These are all the things I am trying to work out, I did really well at first last year when I stopped, and my weight was the same for 6 months, but then old habits die hard.

One thing this time, is trying to learn from the past. Im not going to die if I eat less!!! If I have one then its ok not to eat the whole packet. If I have a Saturday special breakfast (a work thing) then its ok not to have a sandwich pasty and crisps for my dinner (not forgetting the banana as it was healthy!) and then a full cooked tea!

WIll it work, time will tell, but stabalising my weight in a couple of weeks is at the front of my mind, and by goodness, Ill do it, but its scary facing the inner demons x

 

[minilady]

I'm very envious of you living so close to the sea, I grew up in South Wales on the coast and I do miss the sea. Have a great time, don't get burnt!

xx

Ooops too late

and



Do I ever 'want to binge'. Ummm. I'm not sure whether it's such a conscious act for me anyway.

It's not a conscious want, more of an impulsive need. I think

I can start off thinking "I'll just have this and that', (which I know I can). I'm feeling in control, feel sure I will just eat this and that, then all of a sudden this and that turns into this and that and another and another etc.

Exactly! With me it's usually around 9ish in the evening, I'll get the urge for something, unfortunately not a carrot stick Normally a biscuit or packet of crisps. It will eat at me for about 1/2 hour, then I think ok I'll just have one biscuit etc. I take one, sit down, then in a couple of minutes get up to get another one, and so it goes on til they've all gone! then I'll sometimes hunt out more! (at least all the upping and running to the kitchen equates to a little exercise) I know I shouldn't be doing it, but don't seem to be able to stop myself. Afterwards I feel guilty, miserable and a bit sicky and end up going to bed only to be woken up with heartburn.

It's as if the conscious part turns off. I don't want to think about stopping. If I do, then I'm sure that one more of 'this' and I'll be fine. But it doesn't work like that sometimes. I completely turn off that part of my brain. When a binge is bad, there are no thought processes..just a chain reaction that takes me back and forth to the fridge. Like being on automatic pilot or in a hypnotic mode.

That's very interesting! In my case it's not automatic pilot. I do think to myself 'stop' I think about how many lbs I could have put on etc.but somehow I just can't stop, the urgent need feeling takes over.

Often, it's only when I've stopped can I look back and think 'crikey....what have I done'



Just out of interest, do you think that knowing why you do it will stop it happening? Is it not enough to know that it happens and it's got to stop?

I wish it were a case of that. That makes it sound too easy, I've always binged since I can remember, mainly in secret. I've always known it should stop, but it never has stopped.

I don't know the answer to if I know why I do it, it'll stop. I'm a great believer in if you can understand something it makes it easier to deal with. I could be totally fooling myself here. I know what my triggers are for binging already. I'd just like to learn a different way to cope with my emotions, and rather than turning to food for comfort, finding a different release.

I got to the state where I realised that whatever the reason, there was a good chance that I just had to stop it anyway. I might be able to 'blame' a troubled childhood, my genes, the fact I have dieted too much in the past which made me in diet mode, but at the end of the day, it was up to me to change the pattern.

Yes it is up to me to make the change. I don't think I blame my food problems on anything, I'd never thought of it like that really, I've always thought it's just the way I am. Because I've always done it and do it when certain emotions are high, I've always thought it's a coping mechanism rather than anything else. But saying that, the way we are is influenced mainly by childhood experiences etc. I know that from a small child I ate when upset, but I don't know why i started to do that.

Thanks Karion for popping in. You've certainly given me something to chew over and think about. Which is what I feel I need! Who needs the bloody books, one question posed by you is enough to get the old noggin kick started

Thank you

I love it when KD pops up unexpectedly on a thread and gives a twopennorth, well, usually about 69 quids worth, but anyway

Is it not enough to know that its happening, hmmmm, hasnt been for me in the past, its just kept happening, and whilst Im not powerless to stop it, its harder to stop than carry on, and I havent had the strength there to stop it as eating is so much nicer than stopping.

Me either, although when I do it it's not nice, I feel disgusted with myself during and after the binge, I don't even really taste the food, just stuff it in to stop the craving I guess that's why I do it in secret.

Thats been the past, I used to panic, thinking I hadnt had enough to eat, Id faint or die or the world would cave in becuase I hadnt had enough food. There was no way I would go from breakfast to tea without eating even if Id had a butty or a big grill up, I mean, for goodness sake, It was 1pm, thats lunch time, if I didnt eat lunch then I would die from lack of food at the very least.

Yet on CD, I have 3 shakes per day and quite happily plod on, on 790 I have 3 shakes and a meal and love it, yet why when Im not on CD do I have the urge to eat??

Exactly!!!! I didn't cheat once during my weight loss. I was so proud of myself for beating the fight for slimdom I even thought I was 'cured' of my 30 odd year habit of binging and had begun to believe I'd never want to binge again. What a twonk how wrong was I.

These are all the things I am trying to work out, I did really well at first last year when I stopped, and my weight was the same for 6 months, but then old habits die hard.

One thing this time, is trying to learn from the past. Im not going to die if I eat less!!! If I have one then its ok not to eat the whole packet. If I have a Saturday special breakfast (a work thing) then its ok not to have a sandwich pasty and crisps for my dinner (not forgetting the banana as it was healthy!) and then a full cooked tea!

WIll it work, time will tell, but stabalising my weight in a couple of weeks is at the front of my mind, and by goodness, Ill do it, but its scary facing the inner demons x

I truely hope it works for you!!!

Thanks ladies for your thoughts, comments and wise words, it really is appreciated. It's funny, when I set out determined to lose the weight it was scary, but somehow I knew I could do it. Part of me knows I can maintain too, but once again I'm in the scary place.

Tracey
x

 

[KD]

It's not a conscious want, more of an impulsive need. I think

An addictive desire? The addictive mind takes over?

Exactly! With me it's usually around 9ish in the evening, I'll get the urge for something, unfortunately not a carrot stick

Normally a biscuit or packet of crisps. It will eat at me for about 1/2 hour, then I think ok I'll just have one biscuit etc. I take one, sit down, then in a couple of minutes get up to get another one, and so it goes on til they've all gone! then I'll sometimes hunt out more!

For me this was a learned pattern of behaviour. I didn't feel the need to do that after a Cambridge shake. But Cambridge shakes were always just cambridge shakes I had never made the connection of following it with everything else. Other foods and especially night time eating, had a different pattern that was reinforced over the years.

I know I shouldn't be doing it, but don't seem to be able to stop myself.

Maybe this is because you haven't sorted out how to deal with that desire. You have given in to it in the past and now your brain says that=that=that.

just can't stop, the urgent need feeling takes over.

No. The desire takes over and you are used to thinking desire = action

I've always binged since I can remember, mainly in secret. I've always known it should stop, but it never has stopped.

Perhaps I need to explain this better. Knowing what causes it and working on the answer are two different things. I've seen people find all the answers to why they overeat, but then they don't really do the next step and stop it. That's the tough bit. Yes, it does help a bit to know why it happens, but that's only a very small part of the solution IYKWIM.

I'm a great believer in if you can understand something it makes it easier to deal with. I could be totally fooling myself here. I know what my triggers are for binging already. I'd just like to learn a different way to cope with my emotions, and rather than turning to food for comfort, finding a different release.

So basically, you want to take up something else, so you don't have to learn how face the addiction You want to run away from it, pretend it isn't there rather than learn how to make a new connection.

Okay...that sounds harsh. The thing is, we have all taught ourselves that wanting this and that = having this and that. We had made that connection. For long term success, I believe you have to relearn another one. Wanting this and that doesn't mean having it.

The trouble with finding an alternative solution away from food is that you don't really learn how to manage the desire that appear out of nowhere later on.

Put it this way. If you can't swim, you could just stay away from water for the rest of your life, or you can learn to swim. The 2nd is handier if you live near the beach Food will always be around you. It will always be handy. It isn't always convenient to think or do something else.

one question posed by you is enough to get the old noggin kick

LOL. Sorry

 

[minilady]

An addictive desire? The addictive mind takes over?

Addictive! I am an addict in many ways, and if I try to stop an addiction, a different addiction takes over. I'm a smoker, also as well as a yoyo dieter I am a yoyo fag quitter too if I try to give up smoking, I eat twice as much, if I diet, I smoke twice as much!


For me this was a learned pattern of behaviour. I didn't feel the need to do that after a Cambridge shake. But Cambridge shakes were always just cambridge shakes I had never made the connection of following it with everything else. Other foods and especially night time eating, had a different pattern that was reinforced over the years.


Maybe this is because you haven't sorted out how to deal with that desire. You have given in to it in the past and now your brain says that=that=that.

That's right I don't know how to deal with it, I'm trying though


No. The desire takes over and you are used to thinking desire = action

Lol I'm a spoiled brat!!! I want it, I'll have it


Perhaps I need to explain this better. Knowing what causes it and working on the answer are two different things. I've seen people find all the answers to why they overeat, but then they don't really do the next step and stop it. That's the tough bit. Yes, it does help a bit to know why it happens, but that's only a very small part of the solution IYKWIM.

You have admitted it's part of the solution though, so I'm making a start.



So basically, you want to take up something else, so you don't have to learn how face the addiction You want to run away from it, pretend it isn't there rather than learn how to make a new connection.

Oh Poo That is how it sounds!!! now look what you've done I'm even more confused:crazy: I want to face this, I want to stop this pattern of behaviour. I don't want to bury my head.

Okay...that sounds harsh. The thing is, we have all taught ourselves that wanting this and that = having this and that. We had made that connection. For long term success, I believe you have to relearn another one. Wanting this and that doesn't mean having it.

mmmmmmm feeling like a spoilt child again here!
How can I relearn? I'm willing, that's why I thought the books may help me. You know what it'll be a hard task relearning something that I have always done. Maybe I never will, but I'm going to have a good pop at it.

The trouble with finding an alternative solution away from food is that you don't really learn how to manage the desire that appear out of nowhere later on.

Put it this way. If you can't swim, you could just stay away from water for the rest of your life, or you can learn to swim. The 2nd is handier if you live near the beach Food will always be around you. It will always be handy. It isn't always convenient to think or do something else.

Lol living where I do and in my childhood days, it was thought neccessary to chuck your kids into the sea so they would swim(normally off a little fishermans boat or the side of the harbour), none of this namby pamby paying for lessons at the local pool and to think I was beginning to think I was spoilt


So I have to abstain from binging without doing something else to replace it! Face my fears head on. Crikey your a hard task master I'm up for the challenge and of course any advise you may have will always be gratefully recieved



LOL. Sorry

Hey don't apologise, you've got me thinking, and you don't beat around the bush! As my 17 yr old would say 'respect'

Tracey
x

 

[jane]

Dear Dear KD & ML, thankyou so much for the recent debate,oh & vicky too. I need to re-read it properly without children & distractions. high qualitystuff & plenty,as has already been said,to chew over.

 

[MadamDotty]

Yes agree with Jane, fab reading from both of you and so much to think about.

xxx

 

[KD]

Addictive! I am an addict in many ways, and if I try to stop an addiction, a different addiction takes over. I'm a smoker, also as well as a yoyo dieter I am a yoyo fag quitter too if I try to give up smoking, I eat twice as much, if I diet, I smoke twice as much!

That’s because you run away from the desire instead of facing it. It’s the same theory. Instead of training your brain to learn that a desire for ciggies doesn’t mean you must have them, you have taught it that a desire for ciggies means you need food.

What happens when you don’t actually want the food, the food isn’t there, or the scales bring bad news? You have to face that desire and you are ill equipped to cope. Even if you substitute your addiction with healthy foods, you are still running away from the desire instead of just accepting it.

The desire for fags can pop up anytime. Often when you least expect it. Also after months/years of quitting. There is much more to it than just nicotine addiction.

That's right I don't know how to deal with it, I'm trying though

I know you’re trying. You’re doing really well! I’m just hoping to give you some thoughts that will make it easier in the long term.

Lol I'm a spoiled brat!!! I want it, I'll have it

Aren’t we all Don’t LLers refer to this as the childlike mode or something? Wanting things we don’t need is human. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s natural. Curbing our desire to actually make the desire = the action takes practice. The thing is, the more you practice it, the better you get. That’s one of the reason why you should face the desire willingly rather than substitute. We all need the practice

How can I relearn? I'm willing, that's why I thought the books may help me. You know what it'll be a hard task relearning something that I have always done. Maybe I never will, but I'm going to have a good pop at it.

No doubt self help books have things to offer. I’ve never bought a self help book before so I can only go from what I hear from the experience of others. Though I hear great things about beyond chocolate, I know that it’s not for me. Doesn’t mean it’s not for you though.

My main concern is that there is a good chance that I would gain weight at the beginning using BC. Okay, I may well lose it again, but I wasn’t prepared to relax through a gain. I had to keep some control, yet still get myself out of dieting mode.

Lol living where I do and in my childhood days, it was thought neccessary to chuck your kids into the sea so they would swim(normally off a little fishermans boat or the side of the harbour), none of this namby pamby paying for lessons at the local pool and to think I was beginning to think I was spoilt

LOL. Oooh, those were the days eh

So I have to abstain from binging without doing something else to replace it!

To be continued…………………

 

[minilady]

That’s because you run away from the desire instead of facing it. It’s the same theory. Instead of training your brain to learn that a desire for ciggies doesn’t mean you must have them, you have taught it that a desire for ciggies means you need food.


What happens when you don’t actually want the food, the food isn’t there, or the scales bring bad news? You have to face that desire and you are ill equipped to cope. Even if you substitute your addiction with healthy foods, you are still running away from the desire instead of just accepting it.


The desire for fags can pop up anytime. Often when you least expect it. Also after months/years of quitting. There is much more to it than just nicotine addiction.

I know you’re trying. You’re doing really well! I’m just hoping to give you some thoughts that will make it easier in the long term.

You are certainly doing that I lay in bed for ages last night mulling over things discussed and how I felt. It was a good exercise for me, I'd written down thoughts and feelings that in the past I'd hidden from others. I've always tried to make my posts on here positive ones, partly because on the whole I keep things to myself a lot and only let people know the good bits and partly because I know so many newbies read the posts and I don't want to feel that I am discouraging anyone. Or so I previously thought! What I now realise I have been doing is trying to fool myself, because if I can project a happy go lucky person who is dieting well, then maybe I can convince myself too that this is the truth! and so 'running away' But now I have opened up a little in my diary, I've realised I've hid a lot of things from myself also, and by making my posts nicey nicey it's done me no favours in dealing with my own issues.


Aren’t we all Don’t LLers refer to this as the childlike mode or something? Wanting things we don’t need is human. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s natural. Curbing our desire to actually make the desire = the action takes practice. The thing is, the more you practice it, the better you get. That’s one of the reason why you should face the desire willingly rather than substitute. We all need the practice


No doubt self help books have things to offer. I’ve never bought a self help book before so I can only go from what I hear from the experience of others. Though I hear great things about beyond chocolate, I know that it’s not for me. Doesn’t mean it’s not for you though.

Lol! I bought the Allan Carr book re giving up smoking, it now sits nicely in the bookshelve collecting dust, whilst I sit in the garden having a smoke

I know exactly what you're saying with the self help books and once again it's probably been money unwisely spent. It's like an impatient quick fix thing, get someone else to sort out my problems for me, rather than sorting them out slowly and surely by myself.

My main concern is that there is a good chance that I would gain weight at the beginning using BC. Okay, I may well lose it again, but I wasn’t prepared to relax through a gain. I had to keep some control, yet still get myself out of dieting mode.

At the moment I feel I will always be in diet mode, counting calories, feeling guilty for any small weight gain. It'll be interesting to see how I feel 6 months on, will I still feel as though I'm dieting, or will as you say with the practice of abstinance from overeating etc. make things seem differently in my mind. After all I'm not dieting anymore, the weight has gone.

LOL. Oooh, those were the days eh

I can swim like a fish, unfortunately I have a phobia of fishing boats


To be continued…………………

Can't wait til the next installment. Thanks KD

Tracey
x

 

[KD]

Can't wait til the next installment. Thanks KD

Tracey
x

Bet your hoping the next installment will give you all the answers after that brain work I've made you face Wonder if it will

To be continued...........................

 

[MadamDotty]

You are certainly doing that I lay in bed for ages last night mulling over things discussed and how I felt. It was a good exercise for me, I'd written down thoughts and feelings that in the past I'd hidden from others. I've always tried to make my posts on here positive ones, partly because on the whole I keep things to myself a lot and only let people know the good bits and partly because I know so many newbies read the posts and I don't want to feel that I am discouraging anyone. Or so I previously thought! What I now realise I have been doing is trying to fool myself, because if I can project a happy go lucky person who is dieting well, then maybe I can convince myself too that this is the truth! and so 'running away' But now I have opened up a little in my diary, I've realised I've hid a lot of things from myself also, and by making my posts nicey nicey it's done me no favours in dealing with my own issues.

God Tracey that could have been me writing that, I'm so aware of not putting negative things on my diary, always wanting to lead by example and show the world that all's ok and yes I'm sure I'm trying to kid myself too.

I'm loving this discussion between you & KD, a lot of what you are saying resonates loudly with me. Here I am a year on and feel I'm in a worse/more difficult position than I was back at the beginning of maintenance, it was easier then, I felt alive, renenewed by my new weight and determined to stay at it. I didn't want to eat a lot of the foods I'd previously stuffed myself on, I loved healthy eating and was able to listen to my body and know when I was full and eat what I really fancied, but I seem to have lost that somewhere along the way and I feel I'm back on the treadmill of overeating/dieting and struggling to get off. I too hope that the self-help books will give me the answer, that I know ultimately lies within me. Hmmm, much food for thought, 'scuse the pun.

xx

 

[KD]

I've always tried to make my posts on here positive ones, partly because on the whole I keep things to myself a lot and only let people know the good bits and partly because I know so many newbies read the posts and I don't want to feel that I am discouraging anyone. Or so I previously thought! What I now realise I have been doing is trying to fool myself,

And inadvertently food other dieters. We know at this stage, that dieting and maintaining are two different journeys. By giving the impression that everything is hunky dorey once you've reach goal, you are reinforcing what most people believe....get to goal and that's it....end of story.

In truth it's really just the beginning. Think of dieting as a way to move to the start line so you can work on a new set of instructions. Unfortunately, the instructions aren't given to you on a plate, so it's kind of a treasure hunt. Finding clues, going the wrong, turning around again and looking harder. Picking up the clues, then looking for the next one. Not easy is it.

Here I am a year on and feel I'm in a worse/more difficult position than I was back at the beginning of maintenance, it was easier then, I felt alive, renenewed by my new weight and determined to stay at it. I didn't want to eat a lot of the foods I'd previously stuffed myself on, I loved healthy eating and was able to listen to my body and know when I was full and eat what I really fancied, but I seem to have lost that somewhere along the way

You thought you had found the solution, but in all truth the problem wasn't there to solve. Well, it was there, but buried deep beneath the euphoria of getting to goal. You didn't have to deal with that addictive desire, because it wasn't so apparent. Now the euphoria has worn off, you're probably wondering why the heck you are having to battle with the desire.

That's why it's so important to learn how to deal with the desire. Once you've mastered that, then you will have found your solution in every circumstance.

 

[Ruthlet]

And inadvertently food other dieters. We know at this stage, that dieting and maintaining are two different journeys. By giving the impression that everything is hunky dorey once you've reach goal, you are reinforcing what most people believe....get to goal and that's it....end of story.

After many failed attempts on just about every diet going over the last 10 years - each attempt followed by gaining more weight than I had lost - I have come to realise that for me losing weight is only half the battle :sigh: and the easy half at that. It is re-assuring to know that I am not the only person who feels like this.

In truth it's really just the beginning. Think of dieting as a way to move to the start line so you can work on a new set of instructions. Unfortunately, the instructions aren't given to you on a plate, so it's kind of a treasure hunt. Finding clues, going the wrong, turning around again and looking harder. Picking up the clues, then looking for the next one. Not easy is it.

You thought you had found the solution, but in all truth the problem wasn't there to solve. Well, it was there, but buried deep beneath the euphoria of getting to goal. You didn't have to deal with that addictive desire, because it wasn't so apparent. Now the euphoria has worn off, you're probably wondering why the heck you are having to battle with the desire.

Before I started CD I began trying to unravel and explore my relationship with food and this is something I have continued to do throughout the last 4 months and I really thought I had truly nailed my desire/cravings/addiction. Then I had 3 days off the diet for a family wedding this weekend. This is the first occassion I have broken the diet since I started and I did make sure that I moved up the plans before going - I feel that I did pretty well all things considering (ate what I wanted but only dinky portions and only put on a pound which is already off again) but the urges and desires I thought I had pretty much dealt with, confronted and resolved over the last 4 months were begining to rear their nasty little heads again towards the end of the weekend.

I am now really glad to have had this mini-break before I get to goal because it has made me realise that although I have made some great progress with addressing what I can only describe as food addicition and emotional eating (to coin two commonly used phrases) clearly I still have a way to go.

I too have ordered Beyond Chocolate and a couple of other books in the hope that they might lend a hand in helping me exorcise my food demons once and for all! I will be interested to see what you guys think of the book too.

That's why it's so important to learn how to deal with the desire. Once you've mastered that, then you will have found your solution in every circumstance.

Amen

Cor Blimey Ladies what a thought provoking discussion - not really sure what to say - I think I am going to have a lot to talk with myself about for many many days to come and hopefully after much discussion I will might finally become my own master.........

 

[KD]

but the urges and desires I thought I had pretty much dealt with, confronted and resolved over the last 4 months were begining to rear their nasty little heads again towards the end of the weekend.

Try changing your mindset over this. Those 'nasty little heads' are giving you the opportunity to strengthen the connection in dealing with your addictive desires. You wont get better at making that new connection without practice. And you won't get the practice unless you get the desires.

So, far from being something negative, it's a positive thing. The more desires you get, the better you'll get at dealing with them.

Sometimes you will beat them, sometimes you won't. If you don't, then just be aware that you gave into them this time and look forward to getting another opportunity.

Right. Lots of thinking. This was a nice lighthearted happy thread, and I'm doing all this deep stuff. I was contemplating opening up my diary again to continue. Might do...not sure.

One thing I do need to do is get it off Tracey's thread For one thing, there are a few of you (including Tracey!) who are getting Beyond Chocolate. The book will have a very different way of dealing with the 'problem' than I have, and I'll confuse matters.

Good chat though folks.

 

[KD]

Oh, and don't forget we have some members who are passionate about Beyond Chocolate, over on the Intuitive Eating forum

 

[minilady]

Typical!!! Late on tonight and missed the party

 

[minilady]

Bet your hoping the next installment will give you all the answers after that brain work I've made you face Wonder if it will

To be continued...........................

KD if only it was going to be that simple


God Tracey that could have been me writing that, I'm so aware of not putting negative things on my diary, always wanting to lead by example and show the world that all's ok and yes I'm sure I'm trying to kid myself too.

I'm loving this discussion between you & KD, a lot of what you are saying resonates loudly with me. Here I am a year on and feel I'm in a worse/more difficult position than I was back at the beginning of maintenance, it was easier then, I felt alive, renenewed by my new weight and determined to stay at it. I didn't want to eat a lot of the foods I'd previously stuffed myself on, I loved healthy eating and was able to listen to my body and know when I was full and eat what I really fancied, but I seem to have lost that somewhere along the way and I feel I'm back on the treadmill of overeating/dieting and struggling to get off. I too hope that the self-help books will give me the answer, that I know ultimately lies within me. Hmmm, much food for thought, 'scuse the pun.

We are similar creatures I still feel most of the time euphoric. I do enjoy my healthier eating and foods I thought I didn't like I now do. I find during the day I don't fancy forbidden fruits, but at night I do


xx[/quote]

And inadvertently food other dieters. We know at this stage, that dieting and maintaining are two different journeys. By giving the impression that everything is hunky dorey once you've reach goal, you are reinforcing what most people believe....get to goal and that's it....end of story.

In truth it's really just the beginning. Think of dieting as a way to move to the start line so you can work on a new set of instructions. Unfortunately, the instructions aren't given to you on a plate, so it's kind of a treasure hunt. Finding clues, going the wrong, turning around again and looking harder. Picking up the clues, then looking for the next one. Not easy is it.

Definately not easy at all

You thought you had found the solution, but in all truth the problem wasn't there to solve. Well, it was there, but buried deep beneath the euphoria of getting to goal. You didn't have to deal with that addictive desire, because it wasn't so apparent. Now the euphoria has worn off, you're probably wondering why the heck you are having to battle with the desire.


That's why it's so important to learn how to deal with the desire. Once you've mastered that, then you will have found your solution in every circumstance.

Cor Blimey Ladies what a thought provoking discussion - not really sure what to say - I think I am going to have a lot to talk with myself about for many many days to come and hopefully after much discussion I will might finally become my own master.........

Poor Ruth nearly at goal and reading all this Although by reading KD's thought provoking comments you'll be ahead of me and hopefully will have a head start on the scary thing that is maintenance

Try changing your mindset over this. Those 'nasty little heads' are giving you the opportunity to strengthen the connection in dealing with your addictive desires. You wont get better at making that new connection without practice. And you won't get the practice unless you get the desires.

So, far from being something negative, it's a positive thing. The more desires you get, the better you'll get at dealing with them.

Hadn't thought of it that way at all! I had the urge tonight and considered what I normally do in that situation, which is sit there agonising for about an hour whether to eat something or not, then after the hour I give in and eat something, then that's it a free for all in the fidge and crisps cupboard So tonight as soon as I started to feel this way, I thought right have something straight away, so I did...a handful of mixed seeds, which I sat and ate like one of my guinea pigs, nibbling away at each seed individually. That was it, that's all I had No mad dash every five minutes to forage out more, it was enough Don't get me wrong, maybe because of this debate it's made my mind set and maybe next time it won't be that easy. However it worked tonight and that's a start

Sometimes you will beat them, sometimes you won't. If you don't, then just be aware that you gave into them this time and look forward to getting another opportunity.

Right. Lots of thinking. This was a nice lighthearted happy thread, and I'm doing all this deep stuff. I was contemplating opening up my diary again to continue. Might do...not sure.

Please do KD!

One thing I do need to do is get it off Tracey's thread For one thing, there are a few of you (including Tracey!) who are getting Beyond Chocolate. The book will have a very different way of dealing with the 'problem' than I have, and I'll confuse matters.

Good chat though folks.

Thank you for opening my eyes a little to what I have to do and how I can try to do it. You've put a different angle on it for me, especially thinking positively about the urges. Quite often I can be a glass is half empty kind of person. I needed a kick up the backside, and I think I've just had one!

I hope you pop in to see me now and again, and be sure that I'll be watching out for the opening of your diary thread with great interest

Tracey
x

 

[KD]

Okay...was going to leave you alone, but I can't after reading your last message.

Good work getting through this evening without eating too much :clap:

But....sorry about this. Look at what has happened

You had a possible addictive desire -
You immediately got yourself something to eat - not
You chose sensibly and ate slowly and 'mindfully' -
You found you didn't have any more addictive desires - not



Yes, this has helped with tonights eating. But how hard has it made you work at making desires not = actions? That's the bit that needs working on.

This is going to conflict with BC, which is more inline with what you did this evening (assuming you really wanted seeds)

IMO, a better course would have been to arrange to have whatever you really wanted at a certain time and hope that you wanted it sooner so that you could work on the desire.

Now, that doesn't mean denying yourself until the time. You can have it whenever you want, but you are chosing to accept the desire and not make it equal the action. Know what I mean?