New Month ... New Start


Gold Member
Hello Gang.

(firstly, may I say I'm really chuffed to have found you guys again, secondly, your welcome so lovely)

My weight is at 130.6kgs (20stones 8Ibs)

Tomorrow is the 1st October 2006. I'd like to lose some weight for Christmas and my salsa-dancing new years eve party.

So once again I'm booking myself back into Hotel Sole Source (or should that be Soul Source - given I'll be deriving my willpower from the depths of my soul)

I've deliberately kept away from here because there has been no urge to post as I haven't been following the plan, however as of tomorrow I'll be on it and posting as often as I can, I won't promise a diary.

In addition I've told one friend (one in particular) that meeting up is off the cards as it ALWAYS means eating and eating LARGE. He wasn't too impressed with that as he thinks I'll buckle, his response was "we'll see, you'll not be able to go without a Monty’s (a lovely Nepalese/Indian restaurant in Ealing, West London)
for too long". He of little faith and belief, funny because when I tackled him for his words, he suggested that it was because he felt I was being too harsh on myself. I explained that I've been substantially overweight for a long time and my being hard on myself is WHAT IS REQUIRED because I'm ruining my life. I'm depleting future funds from the 'Bank of Me' - I'm killing my future self.

He is a good friend, but he doesn't believe in food addictions (even though I've tried to explain it to him and he assures me he understands, but I know he doesn't) so doesn't think such a "drastic" approach is necessary. Well I do - even if it is BLOODY HARD :) :eek: , however like every thing, the human body is ingenius and I'm hoping to work myself into a routine PDQ!

I'm 29 and I don't want to spend my 30's as miserable, lonely, unconfident and esteemless as I spent my 20's.

So why do I keep coming back and posting the same thing month after month?

Because this is the first diet I know that works, if I buck my ideas up, remain strong and focused. I've never been so persistent with a diet in all my life. I've never had such belief in a diet in all my life. The only thing that has been lacking in belief in myself and how I'll be when I reach goal. I guess I'm afraid I won't like the new me ..... I know I have to break down that psychological barrier. My weight, my fat has defined me, who I am and how people treat me for WAY TOO LONG Lord knows. Being (outwardly) fat and jolly even when I'm feeling pain and anguish internally is a trade mark. I feel I can come here (and also use my blog) to really put down how I feel AND know that I'm surrounded by people who read this, nod and say "I really understand how cah-ching feels" or "oh my God, she's hit the nail on the head" etc.... I don't condone being fat, my knees, feet and joints are underrated testiment to that, but we are an abused, stigmatised, misunderstood people. I want to change me, lose weight because I know I'll be treated differently, with more respect and won't be prejudged. I want to spend time being inconspicious and not having to make up for the fat flaw or my (intimidating) largeness by being "sorry" or being "talkative" or being "uncessarily friendly" or just yearning to be liked ... loved. I won't to love society, humankind again ... I yearn to be less cynical and more trusting.

Sometimes I feel it's now or never, but I'm adamant to never say "never again". I will climb back on that wagon again. And I'll keep a close eye on that wagon, because my journey will be so much farther is I keep veering off the tried and trusted road.

Gosh! this has turned out to be a Tolstoy-esque post. I hope you've read to the end. I'm hoping to make some real friends of you, because kindred spirits are the best kind.

Take Care and Love and Hugs ......

Cah-Ching x
Hiya Chaching

You're right, tomorrow is a great time to start being the first of the Month and all that!

Have you considered starting on one of the higher cd plans, and then gradually cutting down to a lower one until you sole source? Lots of peeps have found that helped them get back into the swing of things. the other thing you could try, is to get straight back into s.sing, but allow yourself extra packs if need be, so long as you don't eat any convential foods. that would help you get back into a routine with it....

Whatever you decide, we're all here for you, cheering you on from the side! However your feeling good or bad, come on here, there's always someone around. (unless like today and they're at the meetup in London!)

All the best for tomorrow, you can do it hun, just think how much better you'll feel at your christmas salsa party if you stick to the programme, and how great to prove your friend wrong!!

Go Cha ching :p
Cheers Geri.
Kind words, great advice .....

Much love ...
New start new life
Love reading your post.Can relate to lods of it,This is the one place you can come to that you know everyone knows how you feel.I try telling my hubbie about how I am begianing to feel 'normal' he just says but you are 'normal'but on here you all know whot I mean.
Looking forward to hear more about yur weightloss journy.
Remember we are all here to help.
Good luck for tomorrow
HI cah-ching,

You know it is lovely to see you again and to have you here with us and you will get, your here now and so determined to do it.

I posted on my own thread about the Parkinson Show and Sharon Osbourne and I just wanted to add another thing she said and that was that she was in LA when she was at her heaviest and it was really the wrong city to be in as she found she was just ignored and that she would of paid someone just to have a shag as she was young fit for it, but fat!

She did not pull any punches about how she felt the way she was treated and it goes to show how well she has done to turn her life around and to look at her you would think she was always like she is now, absolutely beautiful and slim.

She is a very dynamic woman and yet she suffered like the rest of us when it comes to food. I like Sharon as she is very brave and honest in how she talks about her life warts and all.

Tonight on the Parkinson show Sharon Osbourne was talking about her weight loss battle and how she comfort ate her way to 230lbs.

She was very funny when she then was talking about her body and that it needed so much lifting that Ozzy said to her that she now farts out the back of her neck!!!l LOL

It took her over the year to lose her weight with gastric banding that is where they put a band around your stomach and it makes it smaller.

She said what they don't tell you is that you can eat this small stomach bigger and she now says she could fit one of the floor cameras into hers!!!

So she has decided to get it removed and is having the operation at Christmas and is going to go to a therapist about her comfort eating.

When she was talking to Lisa Minnelli who was also there on the show, she said to Lisa losing weight was the easy part keeping it off is what is hard and that is the crux of the problem.

Also, she has a dog and it is called Mini:rolleyes:

There you go, maybe Sharon might even join us on here.

I wonder did she even hear of a vlcd?
Sometimes I feel it's now or never, but I'm adamant to never say "never again". I will climb back on that wagon again. And I'll keep a close eye on that wagon, because my journey will be so much farther is I keep veering off the tried and trusted road.

Hello! And Welcome
I'm pretty new to the board, so we haven't met.
You sound very determined.. Come along to our challenges (bonfire night and xmas). ;)

The above quote i left in.. as you should put this in your signature i think! ;) see it daily and it might remind you along the way of what you are trying to stop... :D

I know how hard it is, have restarted diets FAR too many times.
But with CD I feel empowered as i know it'll come off.. i really don't need to work at it.. just get that will power from my soul you spoke about! ;)

Stay Strong! :D
Hi Ca-ching. Hope you're doing OK. Was just thinking about you're lovely post on my thread and I hope your fighting the good fight and winning. :)

Take care
To be totally honest I'm not winning at all ..... I keep doing stuff that spoils my day.

Right now I feel I need to be locked away from humanity and food for 3-4 days just so I can get on with it. I really don't know what is wrong with me .... lack of discipline and habit forming qualities I suppose.
Hi cah-ching.. I know how you feel, Im all over the place at the moment with my eating too:eek::eek:.. we are both still in the race though honey, please remember so long as youre still trying then eventually you will end up winning.. its just that sometimes the sceinic route is the way to go, along the windy roads and potholes we will sometimes fall and lose our way but the lessons we learn en-route will strengthen us enough to finish our journey... stay strong and keep moving forward... WE WILL BOTH BE WINNERS... I have every faith in the both of us:):):)

Much love xxxxx:D