Gems
Member
Hi ,
This is about my 3rd different weightloss diary thread on minimins
( I have tried LL CD and now SW all over the period of 2005 to now and apart from loosing a few pounds in between i am now 3 stone more than i was when i first joined LL.
Ok so i want to loose 11 stone but i am at a stage in my life now where it isnt a choice anymore.... i have to ooose this weight or i am going to have serious health issues and even fatal ones. Its scarey to look at my mortality and look at that piece of cheese and think they are linked...well for the first time in many years, my head is in the right place. I have lost 6&1/2 stone with ww when i was in my late teens. 7 and 1/2 with RC in my early 20's.
i had limited success with ll and cd ss as i felt so ill on it and came off of it after 4 weeks, it just didnt suit me. gutted and totally downhearted i gave up..i literally would skulk in here and look at the people who had succeeded where i had failed and that summed up how i felt about myself in general. I have a loving hubby and 3 wonderful kids but my time and everything i did was for them, my attention on making them happy and vicariously because they were happy i would be happy. I wasnt happy though, becoming more and more reclusive, i found more and more excuses to not go out in public as i would get looked at and laughed at and spoken about. I was ashamed of myself and mortified for for my kids having to deal with that. i had such terrible things happen... i went to have my eyes tested and i ended up breaking the electronic chair, sitting there whilst this man tried to manfully get the chair to operate with its engines squeeling in disgust...i didnt hang around for my glasses... another humiliation to add to the list of things that plague me now.
I dont get it, i am inteligent, and fairly articulate so why have i done this to myself...and not only done it to myself, but have done it repeatedly and worst of all am in danger of making my children the same way...what an aweful mother to do that to her kids?
Anyway a friend joined sw and raved about it, i thought i would give it a go and so i joined. The first week i was so strict and ate only salad and chicken no carbs etc, expecting a nice start to my new me i went to weigh in all optomistic, that lasted only untill i got on the scales..1/2 lb !!! how could i eat as little as what i had and only loose 1/2 lb? My group leader looked at my diet and told me that my problem was that i wasnt eating enough and didnt trust the programme. She was right of course having spent my life watching everything that passed my lips with either joy or disgust, made me clamp my ideas shut on what and how i was going to loose weight. I agreed to try and the following week i tried to follow the program, i had bacon and eggs, pastea jacket potatos etc etc, fully expecting to have pout on 2 lb i was amazed to have lost 3 & 1/2 and this week i have lost a further 3 & 1/2 lb so 7&1/2 in 3 weeks which i am more than happy with because i do not see what i am doing as dieting, i feel like this is something i can be happy doing for the rest of my life and that means more to me than anything. I want to start living again instead of watching other people live theirs.
Thank you if you took the time to read this, though i knowhow hard it is sometimes to read about others struggles, i would love to get to know some fellow sw people to share ideas etc with on the pc as well as at my group.
Hugs Gemsxx
This is about my 3rd different weightloss diary thread on minimins
( I have tried LL CD and now SW all over the period of 2005 to now and apart from loosing a few pounds in between i am now 3 stone more than i was when i first joined LL.Ok so i want to loose 11 stone but i am at a stage in my life now where it isnt a choice anymore.... i have to ooose this weight or i am going to have serious health issues and even fatal ones. Its scarey to look at my mortality and look at that piece of cheese and think they are linked...well for the first time in many years, my head is in the right place. I have lost 6&1/2 stone with ww when i was in my late teens. 7 and 1/2 with RC in my early 20's.
i had limited success with ll and cd ss as i felt so ill on it and came off of it after 4 weeks, it just didnt suit me. gutted and totally downhearted i gave up..i literally would skulk in here and look at the people who had succeeded where i had failed and that summed up how i felt about myself in general. I have a loving hubby and 3 wonderful kids but my time and everything i did was for them, my attention on making them happy and vicariously because they were happy i would be happy. I wasnt happy though, becoming more and more reclusive, i found more and more excuses to not go out in public as i would get looked at and laughed at and spoken about. I was ashamed of myself and mortified for for my kids having to deal with that. i had such terrible things happen... i went to have my eyes tested and i ended up breaking the electronic chair, sitting there whilst this man tried to manfully get the chair to operate with its engines squeeling in disgust...i didnt hang around for my glasses... another humiliation to add to the list of things that plague me now.
I dont get it, i am inteligent, and fairly articulate so why have i done this to myself...and not only done it to myself, but have done it repeatedly and worst of all am in danger of making my children the same way...what an aweful mother to do that to her kids?
Anyway a friend joined sw and raved about it, i thought i would give it a go and so i joined. The first week i was so strict and ate only salad and chicken no carbs etc, expecting a nice start to my new me i went to weigh in all optomistic, that lasted only untill i got on the scales..1/2 lb !!! how could i eat as little as what i had and only loose 1/2 lb? My group leader looked at my diet and told me that my problem was that i wasnt eating enough and didnt trust the programme. She was right of course having spent my life watching everything that passed my lips with either joy or disgust, made me clamp my ideas shut on what and how i was going to loose weight. I agreed to try and the following week i tried to follow the program, i had bacon and eggs, pastea jacket potatos etc etc, fully expecting to have pout on 2 lb i was amazed to have lost 3 & 1/2 and this week i have lost a further 3 & 1/2 lb so 7&1/2 in 3 weeks which i am more than happy with because i do not see what i am doing as dieting, i feel like this is something i can be happy doing for the rest of my life and that means more to me than anything. I want to start living again instead of watching other people live theirs.
Thank you if you took the time to read this, though i knowhow hard it is sometimes to read about others struggles, i would love to get to know some fellow sw people to share ideas etc with on the pc as well as at my group.
Hugs Gemsxx
