nikki's diary - closed...... moved over to maintenance to test the water!

[great things]

this diary starts with day 2. day 1 was a blur and just remember feeling fine in the morning and my evening i was starving hungry but i got through it as you do.

day 2

gerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

feel so hungry.

hoping it passes.

trying to keep myself occupied.

focusing on day 3 coming in tomorrow and the fact that my breath honks. totally stinks this must be a great sign. fingers crossed. keep wanting forbidden drinks to the point where i can taste it in my mouth!

 

[great things]

Day 3.

Another 3lbs off making a total of 7lbs since weigh in on monday am.

About to try the cd porridge for the first time, looks interesting but lumpy. think i should have mixed it differently.

I've had a pint of water already.

Still hungry with that hole in my tummy feeling, still stinky breath, slight headache on waking, feeling very cold now. all of which are i hope are good signs that things are working in the direction of ketosis.

 

[great things]

p.s

oh blimey, it's very salty! well down the hole it goes.

it's also strange how you forget about things like remembering not to lick your fingers after preparing anyone's breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

[great things]

day 3 pm

feeling very cold, sick of breath it just totally pongs. feel like i need to have a toothbrush in my mouth at all times.

went to the metrocentre today and had to endure lunchtime in an italian. my mum, my daughter and my son all eating. the food smelt delicious. i was very controlled and had a coffee. could have been just like a vampire and scoffed it all in one second flat though.

i will endure and carry on. tomorrow is another day.... another step closer to ketosis and not feeling hungry.

 

[oxfordblue]

I am on day five and feel great. Not sure what to do with all this excess energy, still cannt bring myself to go to the gym STICK WITH IT! I lost two and a half stone last summer.

 

[great things]

day 4

i think ketosis has finally kicked in as i went to bed feeling hungry and have woke up feeling fine. still bad breath (to be expected for the duration) and the cold feeling (again to be expected throughout). so toothbrush at the ready all day and wrap up warm.

up early as baby started kicking off at 5.30am then stopped after half an hour then hubby got up and made as much noise as he could possibly make then was flashing the lights on the landing on and off and guess what....... baby kicked off again. it's not 6.39am and he will have just 20 more mins till his bottle. seems so strange saying bottle. feels sad up until just before the diet i was feeding him (we'd managed to cut it back to just his morning feed) and we'd have our snuggly time in bed of a morning with dozing going on and feeding and cuddles. i really miss that. he's almost 10 months and i felt that had i not stopped feeding him now then it would have gone on forever as the older they get the more they begin to realise. my aim was to go month by month and try to get to 6 months with him which i did and more, which is more than can be said for my daughter though - 10 weeks then bottle. anyway.... rule 1: leave him til 7am.

 

[great things]

I am on day five and feel great. Not sure what to do with all this excess energy, still cannt bring myself to go to the gym STICK WITH IT! I lost two and a half stone last summer.

hi there.

yeah, i know i can do it. i was worried as this is my 2nd time on ss and i'd heard the 2nd time can be worse and hard to stick to but i've found it fine and i think i've gone into ketosis a lot earlier than last time took me 2 weeks before i felt fine, but, i have less to loose so maybe that has an impact on it all. got pg and put quite a bit on anyway just under 3 stone to loose unlike last time when it was 5 stone!

 

[great things]

p.s i'm still going to the gym. part of my life. lol. just watching and taking it easy.

 

[great things]

day 4 am continued...

well i feel so much better today. sort of excited that i am in ketosis. i've had my first shake of the day choc mint (i only do choc, choc mint, leek and pot soup, veg soup, the odd tetra and bars, when i can have them in, peanut and cranberry). the rest are too sweet and make me feel sick. i also make the jelly and sometimes instead have a cd mousse thing.

haven't been to the loo yet since monday. i can feel it getting backed up so i'm going to have to do something about that

lost another half a pound today so that brings the total up to 7.5lbs lost since monday am weigh in. i'd lost 4lbs before even seeing my counsellor. i'd kept my old shakes and used them on the monday. there were a little out of date but were ok then i read the out of date info about the rancid fat etc etc not pleasant. i had an old pack last night as i thought i might use them up but after having in date ones i could tell they were foul. did the biz on monday though. so i have just binned 14 choc packs. previous day it was 5 soups so 19 cd packs it the bin along with 8 bars and (a long time ago) 6 tetras. ouch the cost of that lot! however, the tetras went off not long after i got pg, the soups were to be used june 09 and the shakes nov or dec 09.

 

[great things]

day 4 pm

i shouldn't have complained about not going.... i've been and been and been and been..... i think my body is clearing itself out which is fantastic. i'm thinking i might have a significant loss tomorrow again.

i'm def not hungry now.

i've been to the gym. had a really great workout but still not on tiptop form in terms of energy. i love going to the gym and would happily spend 4 hours there if i could but i can't.

 

[great things]

day 5

pint of water drink, first shake down the hole, coffee in there too. good stuff!

more weight off today thanks to yesterday's epic event. so i'm now into the next stone on the scales and have lost a monumental 10lbs. last time my first week was 9lbs and i had more to loose. i think it could be going to the gym at the same time. i thought i went last time too but i obviously didn't do as much as i'm doing now. still quite a few days till my weigh in (mine's monday at home but CDC is tuesday am) so still time for more to be dropped.

i'm sleeping so much better but i'm still waiting for the energy kick to follow.

the gym....

did loads yesterday and found an amazing 'treadmill' type thing. it's got 2 paddles that you walk on and they alternate as you walk and you go up hill. it burns twice as much fat and cals as a regular treadmill. i only did 10mins on it but burnt loads. i got off it thinking - 'wow, i wish i had one of those at home!'

 

[great things]

day 5 pm

just had a porridge. mixed it slowly with water popped it into the micro for 40sec rather than a min and it tasted so much better. think i'll be having these often as a night time meal.

relatively lazy day today. swimming with my daughter - i forgot her arm bands so had to hold her all the time.

group with dudey for the last time. felt pretty much out of it too cause there were so many little tiny newborn babies there. dude was the oldest at 10 months.

still been ever so slightly hungry today but it is getting better. tummy isn't rumbling anymore. it's just nice to keep busy to stop hunger in its tracks.

don't know how much water i've had today.

1pt brekkie
more added to shake to make pint shake
1pt at lunchtime
more added to shake to make pint shake
1pt earlier
soup with more water added
1 packet of porridge

so think i'll need another pint in me. i do drink about a pint over night though.

a great thing about cd last time round i used to drink juice but swapped to water on cd and it has stayed around all the way through my pregnancy, birth etc.

quite tired tonight. tired and bored. i think the boredom is worst as this makes you hungry as you've nothing else to think about. can't hover or do housework as it's too noisy. so sky and computer are my distractions.

 

[great things]

day 6 - a weekend - saturday.

my first weekend on SS. i'm hoping to keep busy and remember not to eat all my shakes within 2 seconds lol. i'm not feeling hungry at all. feeling ok but could still do with extra sleeps. got a lie in today and matthew woke me at 7.15am instead of 6.45ish am.

got weighed today and there's been no change which was not a surprise cause my body needs to catch up with what's happening. so still 10lbs down.

i've been looking at classes to do at my gym as i feel that i need to insert some extra in my life of an evening to keep me away from boredom. hope hubby's ok with this. the classes will be no extra cost but it's just the time of them will be around the kids bedtime. i fancy doing a pilates class to give me some more core strength and pelvic strength. then i fancy an hours body pump but i just don't know what to expect with that one. its code states that it's a strength and condition class. sculpting your body. sounds fab but i bet it's hard work. i don't normally do classes as either i'm not fit enough or they don't push me enough. i don't ever do spin classes either cause they're really bad on your knees and i can't get my big butt out of the bike seat. think i'll try one tonight if there are spaces in the class. feel excited about being worked hard. like that orange advert. "punish me gunther" lol

 

[great things]

day 6 cont

1pm and having a sit down with my 2nd shake of the day, veg soup. 3 pints of water down the hole too. just booked a place on the body pump course tonight. mega excited.

been tidying the house all morning, just the upstairs and we've 3 charity blk bags, 2 blk bags for the tip (one full of old make-up that has been used and open for around 5 years or so so well past the year mark) and a pile to sell on ebay - mainly if not exclusively baby stuff. so sad. lots of the bigger items has seen us through 2 babies - chair bouncer, baby gym, door bouncer, moses basket etc you get the drift. no more babies - gulp. a sad and happy thought. feeling very emotional all round at the moment. had a good cry yesterday about not having a shower (had argument with dh), maybe hormones are to play as it's only been a week or so since giving up breastfeeding my little dude.

 

[great things]

off to body pump soon. now i'm papping myself. just don't know what to expect. had a shake just now so that i'm fine to do the class.

 

[great things]

back from the class and my muscles feel all wobbly. was based on weights. so doing squats with weights, lunges with weights, bicep curls, tricep curls and dips, chest press, pull overs, the plank. feel like i've worked hard anyway. i'll do it again. was a great change and a small class of around 7 people and me with another new starter tonight.

 

[great things]

sunday - day 7

my weigh day tomorrow and cdc tuesday. so i'll update my ticker on tuesday after her weigh in. lost another 1/2lb.

still feeling a little tired but i think it's just cause i'm going to bed a little late (10.30pm - 11pm). i think i now need to go to bed earlier. still have stinky breath but that there for good. not feeling hungry but finding evening's hard as i need a distraction. the class was good yesterday but it was quite early. could do with a later class like 7-8pm but then it might interrupt the bedtime routine, where as dh would have to put the kids to bed, but i suppose once in a full week wouldn't be too bad considering i do it for days on end when he's away.

lots to do today... finish tiding house, go to Asda to get more crockery as ours is on its last legs, go to B&Q to get 2 new bathroom cabinets. they have to be quite big 55x55cm. take the dog for a walk. i think that that is it.

haven't had my first shake yet but have a nice coffee to get me going. the house smells of burnt toast thanks to dh but it's not a nice smell and is making the house honk. i think my sense of smell has increased somewhat.

 

[great things]

1 week into CD now. i started with my first shake about this time last week and was gutted. gutted that i had to give up food to get my weight off fast as i totally love food but that is my problem. i love food too much and i always have. the only time i seem to have control is when i'm on cd at some plan or other. i need to take a grip this time round and kick my food habit forever.

food - it's hard to kick this habit unlike any other. for example -

smoking, drinking, drugs etc etc - addictive and as with any habit dangerous to your health but you can give it up by not having any at all.

food - can you live forever without food. can you give up your addiction by not having any at all. yes, on cd, but not forever and ever and ever. in the long term you need food to live. food is a fuel source and unlike the other addictions you can not just give it a miss for the rest of your life.

i think that being addicted to food is the hardest addiction to crack in the long term. you can't abstein. you can't not eat. it is always going to play a part of your life and you are always going to battle with it. i am always going to have to take care with what i eat as i know i put on weight very easily cause have PCOS. carbs are my enemy as these make me retain and store. insulin resistant i was described as having after a number of tests and put on metformin. mind... i must say that my doc has taken me off metformin (which i was on before i had my daughter over 3 years ago and never went back on again). he told me last time i went.... you've not had this for years, you've had 2 kids and you don't need to be on this now.

well my scales says that i've lost 10 1/2lbs this week but i'll wait to update my ticker and go by my cdc's weight for me.

 

[Flubberbuster]

Hey you, love reading your diary!!

I hear you on food being an addiction thats tough to break; but try having a positive relationship with it rather than considering it bad. I reckon your attitude will change throughout your diet as you start changing body shape!!

I can honestly say as an ex smoker that habit never leaves you either - I smell ciggies and I crave them....I have a drink....I crave them....I get stressed out...I crave them. Although not something I needed to function (unlike food) my body did use it as something to function - so had to break it from its habits!! Now I choose not to smoke, I could indeedy very easily, but thats only harming me no one else!

Cant wait to see that ticker move when you get back from your CDC xx

 

[Emma-x]

Hi
Iv just read through ur diarym ur doing brilliantly, i cant wait now to see how much uv lost tomorrow lol
keep up the good work