nikki's diary - have you seen it?

[Surfhunny]

. I just keep re- naming it to confuse people!

Lost 6.5lbs this week. I was....... bunged up! Took 2 poop pills a few days ago, nothing! Took 3 the day after that! Sunday I bit the bullet and took 5! That was at 1 pm! 7am the following morning I finally went! Mind I was stressed and by 9pm I'd taken 3 more so I had a few bum problems today as you could well imagine!

Get some Movicol Nikki, it's good stuff and fairly gentle too I've been back at the docs and got it on repeat prescription. I took 3 yesterday and had good clear out lol. But GP said I need to find a happy medium of maybe taking one or two a week just to regulate things and pain should ease.

 

[*Shanny*]

I'm with Sal I took 2 at 6am this morning hahaha great powerful stuff x

Fab weightloss Nikki

 

[MinnieMel]

Ladies,

Such polite conversation we having going here.

Hi Nikki,

How are things other than the diet and its side effects? How is your dad? The kids? Your job? Zumba classes? You've been very quiet.

 

[great things]

Ladies,

Such polite conversation we having going here.

Hi Nikki,

How are things other than the diet and its side effects? How is your dad? The kids? Your job? Zumba classes? You've been very quiet.

life is up and down. i've been ok. was sorting out my mum's undies and socks yesterday and she had about 4 packs of 5 sports socks unopened plus millions folded together. told my mum off, how many socks did you need, i told her, you only had 1 foot!

my dad is doing ok too. he gets upset telling people. he sort of has trouble getting his words out sometimes. i'm more together about it. i miss my mum like mad. it seems very strange, the strangest experience in my life ever. it's just i can't describe the feeling. i really wish she was still here. we had 2 funerals for her. the big one at the crem then a very small one at the church where we placed her casket. i ordered her a beautiful cross which i now need to go and get an engraved name plate for. i visited her grave last monday. will go again tomorrow after school and before getting the kids.

kids - emily is pushing boundaries. tonight she refused to come to bed when hubby asked her to. she'd done her own milk and put it in the microwave but didn't know how it worked to heat up her milk. hubby told her she wasn't getting it warmed as he was mad with her for not listening to him and doing what he asked. she screamed the house down. i took over and gave her 2 choices. 1) she went to bed tonight without milk and had milk from tomorrow again, she had to go up on her own. or 2) i took her to bed and she would never get milk again. i gave her 5 mins to think about it. i said if i came back and she was in bed (i left her sitting on the stairs) then i would bring her some water and tuck her in and she would get her milk again from tomorrow. if she was still sat there then i would put her to bed and then no milk ever again. by this time she'd stopped crying and calmed down. i told her i knew which option i would choose and that would be go to bed now and get my milk again from tomorrow. i left her and within seconds she was in bed. victory for me!

my job ends on the 12th july so no summer holiday pay. took 1 week off and it was the worst week ever as i just kept mulling over my mum. i went back to work the following week and it made me feel better.

zumba - started back beginning of may. have put in some new dances and it's hard work for my ladies, it's great to see them sweat!

i've kind of been very busy so i've not been on much. only just getting my head back into the game again.

 

[MinnieMel]

Thanks for updating. Lots of good thoughts for you and your dad. Great way you handled Ems. Smart kids can be such a challenge. Yay to keeping up with Zumba. Boo to them messing you about with the summer pay / but you do have a job for the fall? I like the description of the cross for your mum's grave. You are blessed that even though your time with your mum was cut short, that she was the kind of mother you miss. Lucky you - seriously. And treasure your own time as a mother it goes fast: my baby boy turned 21 yesterday.

 

[great things]

Past 2 nights I've drank a bottle of wine. Tonight it's because things are all too sharp and painful. They took mums ramp today. Then this pm her stairlift. Her stairlift was very much a part of her over the last year. You'd hear it and know she was getting up and coming down! Can't cope today. Since 3.30pm I've been crying on and off. Have even taken a Valium as I'm struggling to cope. I was given 28 diazapan and this is tablet 7! I was given them 6 weeks ago. I can take 3 a day.

 

[Surfhunny]

Nikki I think you're doing really well!! You're bound to have days like this where it all hits you, it's allowed! Just let yourself be upset and have a good cry. And don't worry about the vino unless it becomes a crutch.

"Food is not comfort if you're not comfortable!"

 

[great things]

I suppose I'm. It getting anywhere on my diet right now. Loose some put some on, loose some put some on. I'm struggling badly but at least I'm still fighting. I'm actually thinking of giving up for a couple of months. Use my packs at home and do a 1200 plan, exercising and going back to CDC early July. Mums birthday is 27th June. I think I need a plan where I can have breakdowns of food and drink and if I STS or loose 1lb a week til then, then fine. Been doing 810 anyway. Just need to get my weight off. I did promise my mum. It's just hard right now. It only takes some like yesterday to kill me and my willpower. Today my diet has gone. I'm going to try to pick it up but I can't keep struggling like this. Hubby says to just follow ww for a while. I know these plans don't work well. Was thinking higher cd/ Atkins type thing. Just don't know what to do. I want my weight off. I feel rubbish being this heavy but I really am struggling.

 

[MinnieMel]

Nikki you can only do so much at any given time. Just do what you can (higher plan. Atkkns, Judd, etc) and try to hold your own. Then when some time gas passed and the pain eased, you'll be able to take it on. You'll keep your promise there is no deadline.

 

[Liveonce]

well done on your 6.5lb loss hunn sorry to read things are tough atm ,do whats right for you hunn this diets a nightmare if your heads not in it properly ive had quite a bad 2 weeks budoing well so far this week ..keep in touch hunn let us no how you are doing xx

 

[great things]

Emily lost her first tooth tonight. She was a bit worried and couldn't find it until money and tooth fairy were mentioned in the same breath. It's so small. So tooth fairy job is done and Emily is £5 richer. Wish my mum was here to see how cute she is. The gap is lower front and very noticeable.

 

[Liveonce]

aww bless ,i can imagine my little boy being horrified when his 1st tooth falls out.xxx

 

[MinnieMel]

A FIVER!!! Talk about inflation! LOL I'll bet she looks even cuter (if that is is possible).

 

[great things]

sick literally and non literally.

throat's been bothering me since tuesday. it's that strange dusty feeling that you get and you have troubling swallowing then want to throw up.

also diet. weight's not shifting.

i did have a large salad last night with chicken. hubby said that in his opinion i was eating too much in that meal!

 

[cornishkez]

Don't you just love men's helpful input! Hope your feeling brighter soon

 

[MinnieMel]

sick literally and non literally.

throat's been bothering me since tuesday. it's that strange dusty feeling that you get and you have troubling swallowing then want to throw up.

also diet. weight's not shifting.

i did have a large salad last night with chicken. hubby said that in his opinion i was eating too much in that meal!

Do you think it is the pollen? It is certainly getting to me.

 

[great things]

Could be. I do get hayfever. Throats driving me mad and I'm coughing sort of cold thing going in.

 

[great things]

Ems teeth, sorry bout my nails they need painting!

 

[great things]

My mango shake made into an iced smoothy today. Water, ice, shake! Nom Nom.

 

[MinnieMel]

Soo cute. What beautiful blue eyes Ems has!

I threw a couple of strawberries in the blender and mixed it up with my shake a very cold water. Yum.

I might do a few blueberries with a vanish shake tonight for dinner. Not too many because I am watching my carbs.

How are the Zumba classes? I really need to start going again.