Nikkis diary

Nikki,

Your challenges sound brilliant.... what great motivation to keep on exercising and losing weight up until your big day.

Sounds like you had a great day with Shannon too - my OH and I call those kinds of days pyjama days where we stay at home, don't get dressed till at least lunchtime and spend most of the morning playing with Joel.
 
ah Joel - thats such a lovely name!! :)

Thanks Edel! :)

So todays been good, as Ive just posted on my food diary, Im having my Dominos pizza tonight - cant wait!!!

We have found a Pilates class that suits us down to the ground!!! Im so excited, we're starting next Wednesday.

Its so strange, I would never ever have had the confidence to go to an exercise class or the gym - because I felt way too fat (lol - I know, that would be one of the main reasons for going to the gym!!) I know it sounds silly but I would have been way to embarrased of my weight and feel like people were laughing at me. This is really outside my "comfort zone" but Im really glad Im doing it - there is safety in numbers too and 3 of my friends are coming so think thats why I dont mind so much!!.

Im thinking that in 2007, I finally took control over my weight - Ok, Im certainly not there yet but Im on the way.

Im thinking 2008 is going to be my "fitness and toning" year, and Im really determined on getting into an exercise regime - one step at a time.

Im really delighted cos Ive been using my slendertone religiously for 11 days now and have also been using cellulite and firming creams every day (usually do it for a week, forget... so on...)
Think its actually making a (little) difference.

Oh, Im sttaaaaaaaaaarrrving!!!!

Gonna go pop the little woman in the bath xx

Hope your all being good!! xx
 
Hope you enjoyed your pizza ;)

You sounds so totally fired up just now Nikki, its great

2008 is totally going to be your year *HUGS*
 
Hi everyone!!!!

Just popping in quickly to say I lost 2lbs this week!!! :party0011::party0011:

So Ive now passes the 80lb mark. Woo hoo!

Will pop in later to update and catch up properly xxx

Hope your all well!!

(thinking of the Tuesday weighers!!x)
 
Awh well done nikki, your doin great!!!
 
:party0019: Wow well done, you have just upped my motivation today x
 
Fantastic! Well done you :D

x
 
Thank you all so much, guys!! Xxxxxxxx

Sorry I haven’t been about (properly) for the last couple of days, have just been crazy busy at work and at home.

So, this weeks going well, actually ate quite a varied diet all week!! (the crunchies are still going strong though!!)

I was delighted with my 2lb loss – am 12st 2lbs now soooo 2 pounds to go to get to six stone off and 3lbs to go before im in my next stone!! Its lovely to have two sort of “milestones” so close to look forward to!!. Did I tell you all that I have changed my goal to 10.7?? – cant remember but that’s why ticker has changed. x

You’d be proud of me!!! I actually managed to peel my bum of the couch this week and get some exercise!!! – Monday night, I did one section (plus warm up) “bums and legs” from my Davina dvd, it was about 25 mins altogether and oh my God… Im STILL in pain!!

Its really, really good – but it nearly killed me!!! Its funny, I would often do this 5 mile walk with OH (a lot uphill) and it wouldn’t knock a thing out of me – this 25 mins was murder!! (it MUST really work) I actually think I will need someone to help me on and off the toilet next as its too painful to bend my legs (very attractive!! lol!!)

Tuesday night I did the next section of the dvd – “upper body” – I found this fine, could feel it working but nowhere near as difficult as the first one.

Last night I went to my Pilates class with the girls. ITS SO HARD!!! The girls I went with were all in pain immediately (I couldn’t feel anymore pain as I was already dead from Monday), I came home last night sooooooooooooooooooo energised, was actually going to do more exercise (huh?) but OH said I could over do it – anyway I woke up this morning and I couldn’t even pin up my hair because it hurts too much to raise my arm!! (he did warn us it would hurt but Im putting it all down to no pain, no gain and Im sure it’ll pass when I get used to it)

Am going to do the “abdominals” section of my dvd tonight.

Im actually really really enjoying all this exercise!! And you would not believe the lengths I would usually go to avoid any sort of activity.

Bought myself a yoga mat and a few bits and pieces so Im all kitted out.

Going to the class was really outside my “comfort zone” as Ive said before, I was worried about being the “fat girl” at the class and looking ridiculous, but like everything it wasn’t anything near as bad as I had thought.

Im having such a rubbish day, my car is after conking out – I went to go to finance (from work) at around half 12 when all of a sudden the steering locked and I couldn’t turn the wheel, thank God there were Maintenance Guys (working on the new hospital) who came to my rescue and got it off the road and had a look at it and told me the van (sp?) belt was gone and they even rang the garage. They were so, so lovely to me – Id never even met them before – am gonna buy them box of sweets or something to say thank you, bless them.

Anyway – The guy collected the car and because it’s a Passat, they have to take the lights and everything out to get in at the belt (had heard this before)so now I have no car for the next few days – might aswell have lost my right hand!! – to make things even worse – Ive only bloody sold my old car YESTERDAY and to make it even worse again – Our plasterers car broke down and because we have (had!!!!) two and the fact OH really wanted him to continue working at full speed on the house – he lend him his car for a few days (the plasterer just transferred insurance) and although it would kill him, OH was going to do without his cos mine was there for a brief spell. In a nutshell we had 3 cars yesterday. Today we have none. We’re trying to build a house which means 5000 errands a day, both working full time – I work a 30min drive from home/ OH works 45 mins from home, have a small child so child minding – dropping / collecting etc… and OF COURSE I have a early meeting in the morning that I just HAVE to attend. AARRRGGGH PRESSURE!!!!!!


Sorry for going on and on…

Rant over!! Xxx

Hope your all well. x
 
Oooooh im stressed just reading that! Ah well its nearly the weekend....and then Monday comes all too quickly with more of the same! Keep it up girl - I have the Davina DVD and have so far done the warm up and aerobic section - murder! I havent been back for more yet!

Ax
 
Oh Guys… I am SO fed up!!!!!

Not just fed up in the sense that I’m merely in a bad mood today.

Its not hormones/ stress etc that will pass - I’m completely fed up in general.

I am so, so fed up with dieting.

I feel like I’m doing it forever.

I am almost 10 months on Weight Watchers.

I have been so “good” for those 10 months.

I have not been ars*ing around at it – I have followed it to the letter.

I feel really bad moaning about that because I know there are people here who have been on it longer, without moaning about it.

There is no way that I am slating Weight Watchers for not working faster etc.. It is the most perfect diet in the world. I love it. I’m more annoyed that I got myself to such a disgusting state in the first place to need to loose so much therefore need to be on it so long.

I’m getting so impatient.

I want to be at goal.

Now.

I am unbelievably sick to death of counting and obsessing about every single little thing that goes into my mouth.

I don’t for a second want to start eating the way I used to.

I just want to be at goal and have something if I want it.

Sensibly.

I know we probably all feel like this.

I can’t believe I done this to myself – got to such a start weight. What the hell was I thinking? I am so annoyed with myself. How or why did I keep piling it on?? When I got to 15 stone was that not enough to stop?? 16 stone? 17? …. HOW did I allow this to happen??? I feel so disgusted with myself. I feel like a disgusting pig. To be so obsessed with food.

I have no one to blame but myself.

I didn’t loose this week.

And I don’t care.

I did it on purpose really.

I was an angel all week.

I counted everything.

I saved points.

I did an hour and a half of a Pilates class on Wednesday.

I did 4 half hour segments of my Davina DVD which equates to 2 hours.

I then, blew the whole thing and had a takeaway and about 7 cookies last night.

The night before weigh in.

I stayed the same.

I don’t even mind though.

That’s not what I’m annoyed about. I planned to stay the same this week. I didn’t care. It wasn’t an uncontrollable binge or anything. It was a well thought out (throughout the day) “break”.

Its that time of the month. This isn’t the reason I’m feeling like this either. I just felt I deserved a break. But I am in control.

Have I said I’m fed up with dieting???

Because that’s my exact reasoning for doing it.

I didn’t even feel bad/ guilty after.

I didn’t care and still don’t.

Regardless that a whole week of being good was lost.

I have lost 5 stone 12lbs to date.

I need – HAVE to loose a further 1 stone 9lbs.

ASAP.

I need to stop feeling like this.

I feel sick when I look in the mirror.

I am so tired of being a fat pig.

IF I continue to loose as I have, the 2lbs a week, it will take me another 12 weeks to get to goal.

I don’t know if I can give this another 12 weeks. If I’m honest.

But I cant and wont stop until I weigh 10.7

That’s saying that I WOULD loose 2 a week – that may not happen at all! And very unlikely as I get closer and closer to goal.

Its going to slow and I know it.

I’m actually panicking about a plateau.

Tick tock… I have a deadline!!!! I don’t HAVE the time to slowly loose.

Ill never forgive myself if I walk down the aisle fat.

So, instead of wallowing in my own self pity, I have decided to look into things that can help me achieve my goal…. A lot faster.

I’ve even (which is EXTREME for me) looked at the prospect of doing a VLCD – particularly Lipotrim, as I know a chemist nearby that does it.

I thought if I could manage to stick to it for just a few weeks, I could be at goal so much sooner and could start to relax a little.

I have enough going on (as we all do!) with house, diet, little girl, wedding, full time work, relationship….

Plus we are having the sh*tiest, sh*tiest time at the minute (couldn’t put it on here as you don’t know who is reading other than you guys)

I don’t have the time/ energy to continue obsessing, OBSESSING about food .. food… food!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want this to end and have one more thing marked off the list.

I thought that with Lipotrim, I may loose around 5lbs a week? Which would bring me to goal in 5wks?

Could I loose that?

But I really, really don’t think I could do it. Really don’t. I completely commend those who can but you would not believe how extreme doing that would be for me, personally.

I looked on the VLCD board here and I just cannot see myself being able to do it. I don’t know if I’m that disciplined.

I spoke to my OH last night, he has weight to loose too.

He suggested the following (he’s so sweet, bless him)

How about continuing to follow Weight Watchers – his reasoning being, “if its not broke, why fix it?” but how about absolutely working my bum off – REALLY pushing myself for 8 weeks to try hit goal [in 8]?

I would need to loose 3lbs a week to hit goal in 8 weeks. Is this realistic?

Heres the plan, Kick start for 2 weeks, one week off, 2 weeks on (etc..) So, Ill eat 18points a day. I’ve heard you can loose UP TO 5lbs a week on this – 3 would be fine. Possible? Or does anyone have any info on the Kick Start Plan? As I don’t go to meetings I’m not sure of the finer details.

The clincher – and the one that OH is really pushing.

Monday night, Tuesday and Thursday night – a 6.2 mile walk

The thing is we will have to go into town (where OH is from) to do this. We live out in the country – back roads, NO lighting, it is not feasible, safe or possible to walk our roads at night – and cos we both work all day we obviously can’t go when its light. The thing about the walk in town is, as OH pointed out, you’re meeting people, seeing things and it’s well lit up so it goes quicker (I used to do it when I lived in there with him, a few years ago and its true!).

We’ll have to go at around 8, after little woman goes to bed. My mother lives next door so we were going to ask her to babysit.

Its going to kill me though, as 20 min drive in, walk around an hour and a half, drive home, get all organised for next day etc…

Pilates on Wednesday night.

Saturday and Sundays, pop Boo in the buggy and do a 4.5 mile walk around our area during the day.

That will equate to about 29miles a week plus one hour 15 mins of Pilates plus use of slendertone every night while eating a total of 126points per week as opposed to 147points.

Yep, it means absolutely working my a*s off, really killing myself but if it means I get to goal in 8 weeks I know I will find the determination.

But then will I be doing it in vain? Do you think, by doing the above, I can loose the 1 stone 9???? Or am I being unreasonable??

Would really appreciate any help!! Xxx

So sorry for the moan and long, long post xxxx

Thank you for reading.
 
God Marie youve put that absolutely brilliantly!! Youve said everything I wanted to say, just much better than I could have!!

Nikki, youve done SO amazingly well on WW, you know you have. Its a short term pain for long term gain (I sound like a bad book title there dont I) I do think your 3lb a week target is really pushing it. Theres a real danger if you set a high target like that that you wont reach it and if you dont reach it youre going to see it as failure and instead of being proud of a 6lb loss youll see failure because you didnt manage 9lbs etc....

An increase in exercise sounds a good idea but your new regime sounds really quite intense & as Marie said its a hell of a lot of exercise. I think you also face a real danger in increasing that much could have a totally negative result on your wi. Remember how much exercise Raudi did, all her runs etc & she ended up plateuing or having really small losses. I think taking bubs out for long walks is great and nice and 'easy' to do but the 6.2 (where did you get that figure lol) ones sound a hell of a lot.

Youre soooo close to goal now, I wish it was me!! And I totally agree with Marie, youre gorgeous just now, even if you dont lose another 1lb youll still be an absolutely gorgeous bride.

I know a VLCD is tempting just now, hell Ive been there too, thinking should I try CD or something for a while now that my losses have slowed down but I know its not the answer, for one thing I couldnt handle not eating & I dont think its a long term answer. I think WW educates us so much more in how to change the habits that got us over weight in the first place & will help us maintain in the long term.

This will pass Nikki, it will. I just wish I could say or do more to help, but you know we're here if you want to sound off, or think out loud

*HUGS*
 
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