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non SW dilemma

#1
as some of you may know my OH family and i dont get along and havent spoken since may (they accused me of FORCING him to loose weight even though he has just lost weight through eating what i eat), although i attempted to diffuse the situation i was sent abusive text messages form his sister saying she was going to come beat me up however as the months have past his family have started speaking to him, he went round at christmas and i sent them a christmas card to be decent and recieved gifts from them (which i was shocked at!!) so....

this weekend its his nana's 70th birthday and theres a surprise party, he has asked me to go with him but i really dont feel comfortable. should i?
 
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#2
I think your not being there will speak volumes.. You should go.. make sure you look great! Maybe give yourself a timescale.. You know .. I will go for an hour.. see how it goes.. you never know you might enjoy it.. and if OH wants you there then you should at least make an effort.. just tell him not to leave you standing by yourself!! :D:D
 

30FlirtyGirl

Call me Nicky xx
#3
If your OH wants you to go then yes go. He has chosen you as his partner and his family have to respect that.

His sister has no right to speak to you that way and it does sound like there is a bit of jealousy there.

If you dont want to go for you then thats one thing but dont let them force you out.

xx
 
#4
Does he want you to go? If he does, then I think you should, but like Emski said, have a potential time limit. And what abotu having a key word which means "let's get the hell outta here". Good luck. Let us know how it goes / if it goes.#

They sound like real charmers!
 

suepat10

I am one of the 63336
#6
Hi Abigail

I agree with the others. I know it will be difficult but one night is a small sacrifice to make your OH happy. He sounds like a decent guy. I've seen these situations before where the guy has let himself be bullied by his family whereas your OH has stood by you while trying to keep on good terms with his family.

If someone does try to stir things, just smile and remind them that you are all there for his nana to have a good birthday and it wouldn't be fair to spoil it.

Maybe his family have realised how immature they've been and will want to put it all behind them. Possilby they have wanted to for a time but his sister's behaviour has made it difficult.

Maybe you'll surprise yourself and have a good time xxx
 
#7
like the key word idea. just worried it will all 'kick off' so to speak. i used to tread on egg shells before we fell out and im not comfortable being in a situation where i cant be myself or talk without thinking i will be saying the wrong thing... its tough i just wish he had a family who liked me
 
#8


as some of you may know my OH family and i dont get along and havent spoken since may (they accused me of FORCING him to loose weight even though he has just lost weight through eating what i eat), although i attempted to diffuse the situation i was sent abusive text messages form his sister saying she was going to come beat me up however as the months have past his family have started speaking to him, he went round at christmas and i sent them a christmas card to be decent and recieved gifts from them (which i was shocked at!!) so....

this weekend its his nana's 70th birthday and theres a surprise party, he has asked me to go with him but i really dont feel comfortable. should i?
 
#10
Rise above it! By going, you're showing them that they aren't getting to you (even if that's a porkie!) and that you are the better person.

Make sure your OH knows the situation though (I'm sure he does) and have an action plan in case anyone does start anything - you say just what suepat said...and if that doesn't work, have it planned with your OH that you will leave.

Go looking fabulous and be brave...it will be hard, but this first thing will be the hardest. I know what it's like to have an OH whose family is hard work (my ex, not my boyf now, they're lovely!!) so good luck.

x
 

Madferret

Mad as a Hatter
#11
I wish you all the best in whatever you decide...

Take care, look after youself and OH and things hopefully will fall into place..

Remember, you are marrying -if you are not already - your OH, and yes it is nice to get his family approval but to be honest... and yes I am speaking from experience here.. you two are the most important.

If you do go - look fantastic, keep your head up and DO NOT lower yourself into any petty arguments..

One point - will you be drinking alcohol ?
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
#12
I agree with all the above. (my outlaws never really took to me, wrong religion!) Glam yourself up, be as nice as pie and if anyone tries to start anything, smile sweetly and say, I'm sorry, but I'm going now and walk out.

ps what size is his sister? (oh Judi! Bad girl! You'll never go to heaven) :break_diet:
 

Taz

Spam Hunter
#13
I'm in a similar situation hun, Mr Taz's family have never really liked me and recent events caused massive erruptions to the point that we didn't go round at christmas. It's his grandparents 60th anniversary coming up and I will be there but on the understanding that if they make me feel uncomfortable or say anything out of turn then we leave. I'd say go but come to a clear understanding with OH before you go so if you have to leave you can.
 

AdsNan

Wants to be slim at 60
#14
as some of you may know my OH family and i dont get along and havent spoken since may (they accused me of FORCING him to loose weight even though he has just lost weight through eating what i eat), although i attempted to diffuse the situation i was sent abusive text messages form his sister saying she was going to come beat me up however as the months have past his family have started speaking to him, he went round at christmas and i sent them a christmas card to be decent and recieved gifts from them (which i was shocked at!!) so....

this weekend its his nana's 70th birthday and theres a surprise party, he has asked me to go with him but i really dont feel comfortable. should i?
Go to support him, he needs that and show them all that you are a couple that no-one can come between.
 


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