not only hard with a family but with an unreasonable husband!!

[goose]

not only hard with a family but with an unreasonable husband!! Went to see his aunt yesterday and all his cousins were round there as well - who he gets on with great, anyway she just casually said they are getting takeout tonight so come down and eat, i gave him the 'look' to say no!! as he knows im on LT adn he ignored me!! and accepted!!!!! anyway I said I might not be able to come as I was busy, after we left I was fuming with him, he kept saying just come and dont eat, i said firstly, it's not fair to make me watch evertyone eat takeout adn secondly I cant say no to eat when we have specifically been invited to eat. ANyawys he went on the whole just because its my family!! Oh FOr *!**!?!?!? I was at my mums this weekend and stayed 100%!! It was sooooo HARD! Why are you making me ruin it!? I said Ill stay at my mums, you go eat and then come pik me up wen ure done, anyway thsi went round and round, i tried to be reasonable and explain, he was having none of it. I 'had to' go, His aunt had realised I was on a diet so made some grilled chicken (home made) as well as getting takeout, so everyone insisted I ate, i had to, again not wanting to. This resulted in us not saying a word to each other on our 3 hour journey home, havign a massive argument wen we did get home, me sleeping in the spare room, and another argumetn this morning.

I feel rubbish. Men! Pfft. I just don;t understand why he did what he did and he can see no wrong. It's not like he doesnt get its TFR - IVe been on it for 9 weeks!! URGHHH!!!

 

[Ms R]

Awww you poor thing, that sounds like you've had a terrible time, that's awful!! Sounds like abuse to me, total mental and verbal torture, it's totally unacceptable behaviour and especially from someone who allegedly loves you!! I'm wondering if he's feeling a little insecure and threatened because of your weight loss?? Could this be true? Some men are like that, they will complain if you're overweight but the minute you do something about it and start to look good, they feel insecure and will do anything to sabotage you.

Anyway, what's done is done so don't beat yourself up about it. I do however have a suggestion for you to help you cope the next time, because I really do think there will be a next time. How about you write a short letter/statement explaining about the diet your on, the fact that it's medically supervised, it contains all the vitamins and minerals your body needs to remain healthy, how you're trying to improve your health and set up a new future of healthy eating for yourself and state how the diet actually works, be explicit in the writing to spell out it's TFR...TOTAL FOOD REPLACEMENT....meaning that it's not just some ordinary calorie controlled diet but that you actually cannot eat anything whatsoever otherwise it will interfere with the medically measured doses of all the nutrients your body needs to stay healthy. Tell them how well you have done and that you have a support forum and that this diet is also supported by Hope Hospital in Manchester and that it is a programme only available from Doctors or Pharmacists. Tell them how good it makes you feel to be taking control of your eating habits and how much happier you feel by losing weight. Then tell them how they can support you in it, let them buy you sparking water and have your shake in front of them when they're all scoffing their faces.

If this doesn't work then I'm afraid I'd be advising you to stand up to that unsupportive husband of yours and just tell him that you're not going anymore whether he likes it or not and just get out of the house before he kicks off to avoid a confrontation. Go for a walk, Autumn is fabulous for walking or even go window shopping for slinky dresses to cheer yourself up because you'll soon be slim enough to wear them.

So grilled chicken breast, it's protein, no carbs so it shouldn't knock you out of ketosis and if you had this instead of your shake then you won't have had too many more calories so I think that the damage has been limited and it's in the past so fretting will not change this.

Keep strong lady, you're doing fab, just take heart in how fabulous you've done so far and keep at it, we're all here to support you, even if your silly hubby isn't!!

BIG HUGS xxxx

 

[goose]

thankyou sooooo much for the hugs mrs R. It was especially hard as the one person I thought really understood and was suppoting m through it - didnt! He still says it genuinely slipped his mind I was on LT (How!?) and initially felt it was because it was his family. Well hmm but that was his point. Anyways I did send him a long text this morning cos I hate being in a poo mood, saying I can see some points from his side, but felt he was still in the wrong. he replied an apologised. He said he will support me till the end (i'm really really hoping to goal or nearish in 6 weeks - don't know if its achievable). He' actually a very vain person adn he always has an issue with me if I dont make an effort - not in a negative way, but hes not ure typical bloke, He'll aways tell me to spoil myself, spend money on myself adn buy nice clothes even when I was bigger. He has really complimented me and he' been so proud when his mates hve said Iv lost weight so I dont think in anyway he feels threatened. In fact aprt of me doing this was I was embarrased for my hubby having a larger wife, although he never made me feel bad aout it. all his mates wifes are gorgeous, skinny and in the latest fashions!!

Ayways apologies all done and dustd and I think I will be firmer next time if the need arise. I have explained to him how i fee about losing weight this morning, and how low my confidence was before, I cried my eyes out last night and Ihad a go at him I said that you try not eating for 9 weeks!!! I really was upset, I told him how hard this diet is adn te willpower u need, defo made him think what he did. But it's done and dusted, was very hard for me, was down but got my weigh in, hopefully I will still have lost something. It was more the principle of it than anything. but its done, thats life. we live adn learn

 

[s_waters_1989]

I dont understand why people do this ! ... I live with my parents and brother and since ive started this diet all they have done is order takeaway and go out for meals even offering me chocolate (weakness) luckily ive managed to resist anything and i am determined to not give in but i thought people would support our choice to loose weight not try and make us fail ... sorry needed a little rant about this aswell ... hope your ok and just try and stick to your guns dont let him bully you into eating xx

 

[uknozitshaunnie]

I can totally relate to this thread. My bf has threatened to force feed me when I am with him because its 'not healthy' to only drink shakes. Luckily I dont live with him (yet) and so I tend to avoid foody situations . Would be nice if I had bit more support though. Its alright for him, hes fit and healthy and goes gym everyday. Men eh!?

 

[goose]

Hehe!! Glad its not just me!!