Not so scared anymore...

[AmandaJayne]

Well, as per Flirty's instructions, I did weigh myself this morning sans clothes and 'lost' overnight 5 lbs.

This brings me to 15st 8.5 lbs. Where on earth did 5lbs go? I've looked everywhere - under the bed, in the wardrobe - nope, can't find them.

Well, they ain't coming back, that's for sure.

First job of the day, make up pro-forma 'thought record' sheets, to fill in when I get the 'urge'. I will be on 'conscious incompetance' mode for quite a while, but hopefully I will soon remember to do them without too much thought.

Please allow me to have a little 'gushing' session about 'my boys', new cats Jumper and Oscar. Last night I let them sleep in my room (with door open) and it was lovely to have purring in stereo, each side of me. I only got them on Saturday, but I already love them to bits, their individual characters are revealing themselves more every day.

AJ

 

[Miel]

Hello AJ

I don't mind you gushing about your cats, I love 'em. I started off with 6 cats many years ago and only have one left now so he's spoilt rotten. I've been out today trying to find Gourmet Solitaire, which is the only food he'll eat. If I tell anyone else that they'll say, 'don't be silly, he'll eat anything if he gets hungry enough' but he won't. I've tried giving him other things and he just screams the house down. I never thought that I would end up with another 'baby' he's worse than the rest of the family put together.

Trouble is, on this diet, that solitaire stuff looks quite appealing today he having roast duck with vegetables and I was almost salivating :drool:

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Well done AJ!!!!! Sorry can't promise the same result every day!! Did you measure too???!!!

So how's today been????

 

[AmandaJayne]

Miel,

Six cats! Sounds like heaven. I do know what you mean about cats being fussy. Jumper is definitely the fussy one of the two of them. He can take or leave the cat treats I've bought, whereas Oscar scoffs them all. I have to watch Oscar doesn't pinch all Jumper's food too. What is surprising is that Jumper is a bit heavier than Oscar.

Miel, come away from the cat food!

Beverley, I've had a good day today, walked into town and had a good wander around the shops. I did eat too much for tea though. Feel rather too full.

Forgot to measure. Will do that tomorrow morning.

Brief gushing session - Got some fab pics of the two cats sleeping nose to tail. It is hard to see where one cat starts and one finishes (see avatar).

AJ

 

[Miel]

Jumper- what a fab name. Mine's Felix which is very cliche now I know, but he was already named that when I got him and I didn't like to change it, My others were Austine, Silas, Twotoes, Maisie and Ellie-Mae, I had a dog Murphy, too. How mad does that sound? And now I just have Felix who at present is under the duvet with the electric blanket on, snuggled up to my hubby on my side of the bed!!! Think we're going to have to get a 6ft bed. He was hit by a car last year and hasn't quite been the same since.

 

[AmandaJayne]

"...I had a dog Murphy, too..."

Oh the poor thing, I bet he got a hard time from the cats!

"...He was hit by a car last year and hasn't quite been the same since..."

Miel, what happened? Did you see the accident or just find Felix at the side of the road, or did he limp back home afterwards. How much were the vets bills?

We are so lucky to live in a cul de sac with no through traffic at all, plus next to a lovely woodland area. Really safe for cats and kids.

Hope you are having a good morning!

AJ

 

[nce1]

Hi AJ,

The thoughts records sound like a really good idea. You 'sound' so positive and determined do have your weight loss your way.

Mandi xx

 

[AmandaJayne]

Mandi,

Thanks for your support! Have a great weekend, by the way. I shall be thinking about you all living it up in Brum.

AJ

 

[nce1]

Yes, I think I shall have 1 or 2 (bottles) of wine. Shame you won't be there but I hope to see you at another one soon xxx

 

[Miel]

"...

Miel, what happened? Did you see the accident or just find Felix at the side of the road, or did he limp back home afterwards. How much were the vets bills? Neither! Maisie, literally came and got me, she kept getting under my feet and running off but stopping and looking at me as though she wanted me to follow, when I did, she led me to him, he was under a bush in our garden. At that point he had been missing overnight and was nearly dead. The vet bills were horrendous, as we hadn't got him insured because we live in a very quiet rural area with little traffic, and had just moved house from a cul-de-sac where it wasn't necessary. But it was worth every penny.

It was touch and go for a week, and we thought that he was going to have to have his tail amputated at one point. But he pulled through although his personality has changed a lot which makes me wonder if he damaged his brain. He certainly lost some teeth so it's likely. But he's fit and fine now, despite being 13. Soon after all this happened Maisie died, he's the last of the bunch now, so is very special to us.

 

[HelenG]

Hi AJ

I thought I had posted a reply before but I don't know where its gone! I loved the cruise because it allowed us to see so many different places in such a short time and NO packing & unpacking every day (like a bus tour). I knew the excursions would be expensive and if we went again we would probably go ashore 'DIY' style but TBH I want to be half the woman I am now by the next one so I can go on the bike excursions.

OH & Kids hated it 'cause they had to be up, dressed and eaten breakfast by 8am at the latest almost every morning and the girls were of the age where they were too 'grown up'for the kids clubs but too young for everything (14 going on 55)

I thought the cruise line was very naughty with their drink prices, especially the non-alcoholic drinks. You could get machine tea & coffee for free (and some water) but mostly you had to pay and you weren't allowed to bring your own supplies on board - that's where the bill got really expensive!

 

[AmandaJayne]

OH & Kids hated it 'cause they had to be up, dressed and eaten breakfast by 8am at the latest almost every morning and the girls were of the age where they were too 'grown up'for the kids clubs but too young for everything (14 going on 55)

Was is a Royal Caribbean cruise because my kids (13 and 14) don't really get involved in their kids clubs, they stay with us. With P&O however, we rarely see them, they are so caught up the excellent programme which the P&O 'youthies' run.

We used to meet them at midnight at the 24 hour cafe and loiter inconspicuously while they finished up chatting/drinking hot chocolate with their friends and the youth leaders.

Somehow, RC never had the right rapport with our kids, and after the initial meeting/evening event, mine never returned.

I am looking forward to enjoying some 'me' and 'us' time on this holiday, and hope the kids have as much fun as the last P&O cruise. Jayne still keeps in touch with a couple of girls she met two years ago.

I never had a problem getting up early and was always the first up every day! Having said that, if you want to stay in bed, why not? I would rather lie by the pool though, drinking cocktails.

".....you weren't allowed to bring your own supplies on board - that's where the bill got really expensive! ...."

Yeah, that's a relatively new 'rule' which seems to run across the board on most ships. Seems a shame really, I don't know why it should be implimented except to make more money for the cruise company. A bit cheeky. We've never bought our own alcohol on board anyway, except at presents, so don't mind handing it in until the end of the cruise (less clutter in the cabin).

Having said all that about RC kids clubs, we had a fantastic time last summer and thoroughly recommend it as a family holiday (apart from kids clubs).

AJ

 

[AmandaJayne]

Miel,

"Maisie, literally came and got me, she kept getting under my feet and running off but stopping and looking at me as though she wanted me to follow, when I did, she led me to him, he was under a bush in our garden. At that point he had been missing overnight and was nearly dead"

Wow, well done Maisie. Glad he's ok now, but sounds like it was touch and go.

It reminds me about Tabby, when a neighbour from the bottom of the street came to my door to say that he was 'sleeping' under a bush in her garden and she thought is strange because he always usually avoided her garden (aggresive cat). I went to see and crawled under the bush. Well Miel, the smell coming from him was awful, like something died.

I took him home and straight down to the vets as an emergency. Turns out he had an injury on his neck which had been infected with an anerobic bacteria and was eating his flesh. Nasty. We guessed it was a bite from a rat or fox. Anyway, it had to be cleaned out and flushed and left open for a few days before being stitched up. I had to flush the gaping hole with saline twice a day. It was grotesque for someone as squeamish as me.

Still, he recovered beautifully and went back to avoiding the neighbours garden and cat.

The vet bill was expensive, but worth every penny to have Tabby back to his usual self again. I have never considered getting pet insurance, but with the two I've got now, maybe it will be worth doing.

AJ

 

[jacsprat]

Hello Amanda Jayne

I dont think we've spoken before on here but when I was doing well on CD last year I came across your diary and you were such an inspiration to me. I even started walking along my stretch of the canal and I enjoyed reading about places you had been that I knew.

I was particularly impressed with the way you followed the maintainance plan to the letter and to me it seemed as if you really had a grip on the whole food issue. I even thought about switching to LL as you appeared to be getting so much out of it.

I'm really sorry to see that you have been struggling lately. I myself am in a similar situation. I never got to goal but have put back on all that I lost plus a few lbs more. I weighed myself last Friday for the first time in ages and couldn't believe the damage I'd done. But knowledge is power as they say and as of then I have been eating low carb and am now in ketosis and feel so much more in control. I am going to continue with this for a few more days to ensure those pesky carbs are gone then decide what to do next.

I hope you can find something that works for you and gets you through the fog to the other side and back in control.

Take care

Jac

 

[AmandaJayne]

Evenin' Jac,

"....I never got to goal but have put back on all that I lost plus a few lbs more. I weighed myself last Friday for the first time in ages and couldn't believe the damage I'd done...."

It just goes to show, it ain't that easy even if you follow the rules. For long term maintenance, we have to change our core beliefs, because it is these that govern our behaviours.

"...But knowledge is power...."

Yes, but it's still not enough to know what the problem is and how to fix it. The real power comes from actually changing long-ingrained behaviours for ever. Getting out of the comfort zone and staying out of it for as long as it takes.

"....I have been eating low carb and am now in ketosis and feel so much more in control...."

That sounds positive. What's your daily menu like?

"....Take care..."

You too. Keep in touch.

AJ

 

[jacsprat]

Hi AJ

Thanks for the message.

I've been eating really well this past week. Lots of fish, chicken, eggs salad and veg along with cheese, nuts and ceaser dressing. I've been craving avacado and anchovies and eating lots of smoked salmon and prawns (no I'm not pregnant) so think I must have some vit/mineral defficiancy going on.

Weighed myself this morning and total loss for the week is 7lbs.

As from today I am going to restrict quantities of protien and cut down on the cheese and nuts. I'm in ketosis so shouldn't be hungry but I can just as easily binge on avacado as I can on biscuits so feel I have to set some restrictions. Also my water consumption could be better.

How are you doing today? I always find the weekends more difficult.

Have you got any plan in mind to lose weight or are you just trying not to gain anymore?

Have a good weekend

Jac

 

[AmandaJayne]

Mornin' Jac,

Your menu sounds yummy:drool:!

I haven't got much time to 'chat' just now, (popping into town to book a holiday)but will post later on.

AJ

 

[AmandaJayne]

"...popping into town to book a holiday..."

Phew, glad that's done.



"....total loss for the week is 7lbs...."

That's fab, Jac!:happy036:

"...How are you doing today? I always find the weekends more difficult...."


I think that's because there is less structure on the weekend. When I'm at work, I am kept busy all the time so don't think of snacking.

We've just come back from Falkirk town and our usual lunch at Wetherspoons (panini and chips, but didn't eat the chips - that is a result, because although I was not hungry after the panini, I might have eaten the chips anyway. Some sensible voice inside must have persuaded me not to!)

Having said that, shopped at Tescos before coming home and bought a bag of caramelised nuts. Just finished them:sigh:. So, still a long way to go.:whoopass:

"....Have you got any plan in mind to lose weight or are you just trying not to gain anymore?...."

Well Jac, I was chatting to my daughter the other night and she said something which made me feel sad, basically she asked when I was going to go back on LL again. I thought back to this time last year, I was in a different place and so full of positive thoughts about the future. Here I am sliding back again, and letting myself and everyone else down.:cry:.

You were saying that you'd done CD last year, who did you go to? Is there a counsellor in Falkirk? I may try that as a cheaper and more flexible alternative.

I really believe that I have to overcome this addiction, and it is a case of trial and error until I find the ability to find long lasting, permanent maintaining the weight loss. Some addicts have to go into 'rehab' several times before getting the message. Incidentally, I'm just listening to Amy Winehouse' "Back to Black" album - I love it.

We've just booked a cruise round the med with Grand Princess for 27th June next year. The price was too good to ignore - basically the kids go free! That saves us at least £1500. We've even been able to afford an outside cabin - that's a first.

 

[KD]

I thought back to this time last year, I was in a different place and so full of positive thoughts about the future.

Come on, find those positive thoughts again. You just need a plan that 'excites' you.

I know that I survived from month to month with new goals. Not weightloss ones, but goals all the same. For instance, I might decide that July was discovering hunger month (being extra aware of how it felt, different levels). Then in August I might have worked on watching how different foods affected me....etc etc. I've tried to do these things all the time, but my monthly challenge was something that I gave extra focus to. I had to have a special challenge otherwise it all gets boring and I'd start slipping.

So, one year of calorie counting to maintenance figures (okay 6 months strict and 6 months 'sort of'), and one year+ really focusing on other food issues. Learning, and experimenting, but always keeping an eye on the goal. A goal that in many ways seems impossible. Not to maintain, but to manage my addiction, which would help me maintain. To make the techniques of managing so much a part of my life that I wouldn't notice I was doing it. Might be able to even fool myself that I was 'cured' then

Don't know whether that sounds bizarre or what. I suppose I'm saying that you have to find something. Something that makes you feel like you are making progress in some direction. Personally, I had to do that. I had to have something to work on. A path to follow. Otherwise I would stand there feeling rather lost and that the whole situation was hopeless.

I think that's why this time I've been successful (so far), when all other times I failed miserably. This is one huuuuuggggge project for me

 

[jacsprat]

Hi AJ

I've sent you a PM.

Your cruise sounds fab never been on one myself but really fancy the idea. Maybe when the boys are older(like 16 and we can go by ourselves).

I've still been lowcarbing over the weekend but haven't lost anymore weight. Mind you avocados, brazil nuts and stilton aren't known for being low cal. As of Monday I am going to start taking packs along with a low carb(and not so high fat) meal and see how I do.

I bet you felt awful when your daughter mentioned going back to LL. But until you are in the right frame of mind I think doing any abstinence plan is pointless. In that way maybe Cambridge would suit you better.

I've got to go and iron school uniforms now.

Speak soon

Jac