nzmegs - Maintenance Diary

[nzmegs]

I thought it might be helpful for anyone who is moving on to maintenance in the coming weeks or months to follow a special diary devoted to my experiences. I found when I was looking around for information that few people seem to have stuck it out long enough to get to this point or they never bothered with keeping a diary about it. I know it would have been great to find out what other people went through.

be aware that this diary will involve lots of FOOD TALK. If this is going to bother you (if you are at the start of your LL journey) you might be better off waiting until you feel stronger before reading. I understand how hard it can be to read about eating when you are avoiding it like the plague!

If you want to read about my 16 weeks on total take a look at my other diary here:

http://www.minimins.com/ll-diaries/246109-nzmegs-last-chance-saloon.html

So lets get started....

Yesterday I went to my weigh in and lost my last pound. reaching my goal was underwhelming. it felt great, but I had expected tears and all sorts. But to be honest, I felt like a weight was lifted (literally) but I also had a realisation that the hard work was about to start. I popped to the supermarket and bought my food for the week. that was odd. I am not used to shopping. I have avoided it for weeks and my husband has done it all online. the supermarket had shifted things around. I avoided the "nasty" aisles and stuck to veg and vege protein choices.

Your choices are one protein option (for me that is tofu, cottage cheese or egg, but meats and fish are allowed)of between 100gms and 150 gms. Plus two servings of vegetables. these include things like salad leaves, radishes, cucumber etc. Each portion is about 80g, but this is lots of volume in the case of things like lettuce. You are given some groovy silicon cup thingees to measure out your portion sizes. But you can weigh them too. You can dress this with fat free and sugar free dressings and other various flavourings, herbs and spices.

So last night was my first meal. I had tofu marinated in soy sauce, celery, rocket and iceberg lettuce dressed with lime juice and coriander. the green part of my meal covered 3/4 of my plate, while the tofu seemed pitifully small. In the end I could not get through the celery (three sticks!). While I was expecting delight at eating something green and crunchy, the novelty soon wore off and i was ploughing my way through it. I think I have become so unused to that level of chewing!

Having four packs on top of this meal was also a chore. I eat my first meal quite late in the morning, so by the time 4pm came along i still had two packs and my meal to eat. I had a shake at 4pm and then my meal at 6.30pm. I wasn't hungry at all. I then had to have a soup before bed. Today I have been a little more organised and eaten earlier.Even though it only comes to about 700-800 calories altogether - it feels like lots of food.

I have bought myself some white fish. I have to tell you that I have not eaten fish since I was a child. MY views on the sustainability of fish and meat are the reason I am vegetarian. but am I also coming to the realisation that I need more protein in my diet to be healthy and maintain my weight. it also fills you up...so I have relented on the fish thing. I may not like it - but I will give it a go.I still don't think I can eat meat or chicken though.

So that is my first day. oh I forgot - for the first time I went "number twos" this morning without having a little "help" in the tablet form. LLT played havoc with my bowels. but just a little bit of the green stuff has really improved that situation already! Has to be a good thing. So don't fear - it is not a permanent thing if you are suffering in that way as well.

I will keep track of this regularly for you all, especially when I move onto each new stage.

I am also keeping track of my weight while I do this. Today it was 10st 7.5 (up .5 pound)

 

[nzmegs]

I am 3/4 of my way through day 3 of maintenance.So far, so good. I have had little in the way of cravings or anything. last nights dinner was really nice. i had tofu (again), lettuce, cucumber and radishes with a mustard and vinegar dressing. it was really nice. I actually really enjoyed it all. Tonight will be the same. the problem i have is that I have 4 portions of tofu once i open it and it only lasts for 2-3 days once opened, so i can't eat anything else just yet. I am not too bothered though.

I admit that i am a little more hungry in the evenings, but during the day my appetite is exactly the same. Last night I completed my meal with a bar and i actually blame that for making me a little hungrier than usual. I think i should avoid bars...

Yesterday a complete stranger came up to me at school (I was collecting my daughter) and asked me if i had lost weight. Of course I said yes. She asked how i did it and I told her and instantly her eyes rolled and she said "oh, I thought there must have been something behind it". My instant reaction was like - how dare she! She really undermined my efforts by making that comment. it was as if LL was the reason for my weight loss and my own determination had little to do with it. The thing is that this woman is thin and always has been (she has a child in my daughters year - but this is the first time in years that she has bothered to talk to me). I felt like there was no point to her question other than her being nosy. She didn't even say well done....

it is yet another example of how i feel on show - but I guess that is what I have to expect. I don't mind if it is some young bloke glancing my way - but other women can come across as so judgemental...

Weight today: 10 st 7 (1/2 pound down on yesterday)

 

[Phoenyx]

You are an inspiration! Thank you for your diaries - I've read the other one through and it's so interesting for someone just starting out.

How dare that woman belittle what you've done. Silly cow. I only hope that I can achieve what you have.

 

[Emzy22]

Thank you so much for writing a diary on this lovely, i know it will help me greatly when i get to my goal, you are actually amazing, and sooo thoughtful, thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!! Glad you're keeping on here so we can keep in touch with you, it's great to see you're doing well on RTM already, and ignore that silly cow in the playground, she's just ignorant and that will one day be her very steep downfall, whilst you my dear will remain superstar sky high=Dxxxxx

 

[nzmegs]

Got to drop the bars...making me absolutely starving...yesterday I went off track and had two bars in one day (very naughty and the first time i have done such a thing). it was partially a timing thing (out of the house) but I could and should have waited until I got home. Anyhow as you can tell, the hunger is kicking in and I am already bored of my food options. i am looking forward to moving on to the next stage.

 

[nzmegs]

I am on the last day of my first week in maintenance. last night was a real washout. I decided to try fish for my dinner - yuk! I just don't like fish (not the way I cooked it anyway). The texture was horrible. So I didn't eat that. the vegetables i had were like eating sawdust (too much chewing) and I doused everything in too much lemon. So yesterday i really didn't eat my meal. Wasn't hungry though cause i still had my 4 packs.

As of tomorrow I will be adding dairy options and more vegetables to my diet. The problem is that I am supposed to eat the veges raw. I am guessing this is because of the nutrient loss, but it isn't nice and I have trouble with the chewing due to my very sensitive teeth and problems with my jaw. Anyway I am hoping I can starting cooking my food this week.

I think I have lost about a pound this week. This is minimal compared to some others I have seen but what is new there? Besides the aim (as strange as it feels) is to stay the same. I wouldn't mind losing a bit more though while I go through this process.

Next week it is my birthday and i want to have a glass of wine. i am hoping i can fit that into my plan somewhere. Life is for living and I guess now is the time to start doing that.

 

[nzmegs]

As expected 1 pound has been lost this week. I know that i drank less water than i should have - so it could have been more. But the aim is to maintain, so I need to accept that weight loss isn't my goal.

I have been given the details of stage two of the maintenance plan. Basically i can increase my protein amounts and there are some extra protein choices. (although this isn't the case if you are a vege) I can also have a fuller range of vegetables (non starchy) and I can cook them - yippee! I can also add in some dairy in the form of plain sugar free low fat yoghurt and milk. This means I can have a cup of tea!!! Wondering if I will enjoy a cuppa or not after so many months of not drinking it at all. I will find out tonight.

I will be having just 3 packs a day which I am very pleased about. I found it very hard to eat all the food over the last week as 4 packs plus a meal was just too much... we shall see how this new regime goes.

So it is one serving of dairy, 3 servings of veges and 1 larger serving of protein. Still no grains, nuts or fruit. Right now i am in a bit of a non-hungry phase. I have no cravings for anything and i feel like i could take or leave food in general. of course I recognise when I am hungry and I am eating, but it is much easier not to bother. I don't for a minute think this feeling will last. If someone put a chocolate bar in front of me and told me it was part of my diet choices - I would eat it! But i guess the thought of tofu and salad again just isn't as appetising as I thought it would be. This atttude might be a little dangerous when i come to add in some trigger foods. Hopefully by then I will be enjoying my meals more.

So, the first week of maintenance for me was hard. I was constantly full (and not in a good way) I felt like the food was uninspiring, I hated the raw vegetables and all the vinegar and lemon juices as dressings didn't really do the trick for me. On two occasions I was unable to eat the full meal and i really only enjoyed two out of the seven meals I ate. here's hoping the second week is an improvement.

 

[nzmegs]

The first two days of stage two management have been pretty good actually. I am still struggling with the volumes of food, but i am enjoying the food much more. The last two days meals have been around the same:

Vanilla and coffee shake at 10am
Porridge with half a shake pack at 1pm
Greek yoghurt mixed with other half of shake pack with a cup of tea at 4pm
salad, peppers, broccoli or asparagus with tofu at 7pm

Shake packs are brilliant for mixing with plain 0% yoghurt. it really sweetens them up, adds extra protein and makes it a bit moussey.I struggle to finish all of this and on Tuesday i had half in the afternoon and half in the evening after my dinner.

I prefer not to have anything to eat after my evening meal and I do not want to get into a habit of having something sweet after dinner. I see my protein based evening meal as the last thing I eat for the day. Evening snacking has never been my downfall, but it is not a good habit to be in.

Having cups of tea again has been really nice. I never liked having it black and so I just stopped drinking it at all. The only thing is that I still feel a powerful need to have a biscuit or some toast with my tea. That is simply an old habit which has held on. The longer I drink my tea with nothing accompanying it (aside from what is allowed) the easier it will become. I refuse to give in to that kind of mindless eating.

So this week so far has been better. Tonight's dinner is likely to be tofu again with roasted mushrooms, courgettes and asparagus. No oils of course, but I will add some flavourings and herbs to liven it up.

 

[nzmegs]

Had a big talk with my OH last night. I was discussing the fact that I am still losing weight and what i should do about that. What weight do I really want to be? Should I move through management more quickly to slow the weight loss down? etc. The thing is that according to my scales (I will be weighed at LL on Tuesday) I am now down to 10 st 4. Which is 3 pounds below my target weight. I have lost 2 pounds already this week.

To be honest - I am not complaining because isn't lovely to lose weight - but it isn't the point of management, I don't think. To see 9st something on the scales would be amazing, but not necessary for me. I am slap bang in the middle of the BMI range for me and that should be OK.

My husband pointed out that I need to make a choice and stick to it because i could carry on at this level of management for a few more weeks to reach a lower weight or I can move on to maintain where I am right now. In the end I decided that to be between 10st and 10 st 7 would be about right for me, assuming I continue to tone up the still wobbly bits. I will just carry on moving up the mangement ladder each week and see where it takes me. A few more pounds off will be nice, but I will see it as a bonus and not something I am striving for.

We also discussed what my long term diet will be. The fact is that I can't go back to what I was eating before (that is obvious). I have been considering reintroducing meat into my diet. There are lots of reasons for this.
I gained weight when I became vegetarian because I ate "healthy" grains in huge quantities to make up for the lack of protein and because I was hungry/ not satisfied.
I prefer not to eat Quorn products because they contain many artificial ingredients and are basically just soya. (a cheap food marketers dream!) This leaves me with few other protein options. beans are too high in carbs for every day.
I was not a vegetarian because I felt bad about killing animals - I grew up in NZ where farming is a major part of our culture.I was more worried about the sustainability aspect. (meat which has travelled the world to get here, cattle fed on grain, chickens in poor conditions etc) I can get around this by limiting my choices to free range, grass fed and locally farmed meat.
I want to limit my carb intake in the long term including processed foods. many vegetarian alternatives are highly processed.
I am limiting my choices and making a long term commitment to staying slim even more difficult.
I want to eat the same foods as my family - this is a big one. I have always been different (on a diet, vegetarian, not eating etc etc). I want the kids to see that i can sit down to a meal with the family and eat more or less the same foods. I may not eat the dessert or the white rice or the pasta - but I can still eat a modified version of what they are eating. I think the kids need to see this and I am fed up with being the odd one out.

So there you have it. Some big changes are happening and I think changes for the better. Apologies for anyone who doesn't support this decision (being vege is all about personal choice after all and many people have wonderful reasons for committing to the lifestyle long term) but i need to consider the long term implication for me as well. A big part of stopping eating meat (if i am really honest) was because i thought I would lose weight. Turns out that doesn't work. My committment isn't enough to forgo being slim for my ethical beliefs.

Despite all of this, I won't be jumping off the vege wagon right away and when I do it won't be a full on meat feast either!

 

[weasey]

Before I started LL I had been vegetarian for over 20 years. After being on total for over 6 months I decided to move to lite. I had been thinking about whether or not to stay vegetarian for a few months before this and had decided not to and so I am now eating meat. I am careful to eat free range but am back to eating all types of meat now. My reasons were similar to your current thoughts, including the fact that it is difficult to get protein into the vegetarian diet without something else accompanying it - such as carbs or fat. However, the was also another reason for me which was around how I ate. It is perfectly possible to eat a healthy vegetarian diet. However, my diet was not healthy. I feel that by making a major decision to change what I eat I have broken away from the types of unhealthy eating I used to do. Now I eat protein and salad or vegetables. I can reinvent the types of meals I have with very little association with how I ate before. Fish is my new best friend.

Good luck in your decision.

 

[Spanglymum]

Very brave and honest of you to admit to part of the reason for going veggie being weight management originally. I tried that - for similar reasons - a long time ago, but found that because I like carbs so much (although I didn't know at the time that was the reason) I just seemed to get bigger and bigger while eating a "healthy" diet. I think fish could be a great option for you if you can find a way to cook it that you enjoy. I like cooking fish quickly in the microwave and adding a squeeze of lemon juice, black pepper and some butter (when you're maintaining - skip the butter if trying to lose). It only takes about two minutes and tastes absolutely delicious. Salmon steaks are fab if you can afford them - deeeeelicious (can you tell I'm on abstinence right now? drool). You can steam some veggies at the same time and your meal is done in minutes.

Eggs are another great source of protein if you like them. It's brilliant to be considering branching out into red meat etc, and you can get "freedom food", which one of my friends always goes for, so you know the animals have been really well looked after. I think you're doing a great job working out what works for you - and your hubby sounds brilliantly supportive as well.

(Btw I'm with you on the "all eating the same" thing. It feels so nice to share family meals. Just made my family a big vegetable frittata with green salad for lunch. I would have had the same normally and felt v satisfied. I do them some wholegrain bread and butter on the side in case they want carbs as well.)

 

[nzmegs]

Thanks guys for your support. I have just come back from a long walk with the kids. We stopped at a local pub on the way where the kids had sandwiches and i had water... met Hubby there (he was working nearby) and the sun was shining - all was well in the world! Now i have plenty of work to be getting on with. One of the joys and annoyances of being self employed is that public hols mean nothing at all!

I know that I am the only person I need to justify my eating habits to and if it means going back to meat then that is just the way it is. I think most people will not be shocked by my fickle approach to food - but this time it is part of a long term low carb approach to eating which is aimed at maintaining my weight. Rather than a stab in the dark hoping that something will help me to become slim.

 

[nzmegs]

Easter weekend - nothing unusual for me at all apart from a glass on wine on Saturday night. I had walked to the supermarket and home (40 mins) and then cooked dinner so having a nice glass of bubbly was something i was looking forward to. the first drink i have had in 17 weeks. But it was a let down. Tasted nice and hit the spot quite quickly. But I did start to get very tired and woke up the next day feeling a bit rubbish. Just one glass (200ml) and not really worth it all.

So I think alcohol will be limited to special occasions from now on. drinking mid week was never an issue for me anyway - but I could normally have half a bottle of wine with the hubby on a weekend and maybe a cider or two. I will really have to plan for these sorts of things and make sure that I don't overdo it. At least i know i am not all that bothered either way.

I was kind of hungry on Sunday though. Not early in the day - but we had our dinner earlier than usual at 5.30pm as we had the MIL over. Dinner is my last meal of the day, so I was really hungry by the middle of the evening. I was even opening the fridge and looking for a snack. My husband told me i couldn't do it and that snacking is not part of my overall plan. he is right of course. I stopped, but still felt hungry...This is only going to get worse.

Lesson learnt: stick strictly to established meal times and do not leave myself with hours without food.

Weigh in day tomorrow. I think I have lost 2-3 pounds this week. I am trying not to let this bother me. I am moving on to stage three of the maintenance plan so I will see what that has in store for me. Any additional weight loss is just part of the process and might only be temporary.

 

[mimz]

hi nzmegs glad to see you doing soooo well, very proud of you having reached goal and now starting mangement, hope you have as much success in amngement as you did during total, good luck hun and im gonna be catching up with your diary and following your management diary xxxxxxx

 

[nzmegs]

Stage 3: This is the start of my week with meat...cue the scary music. Actually i am looking forward to it. I went shopping yesterday and bought some beef and some chicken. I bought cheap cuts as i plan to make up some warming stews in the slow cooker. No added fat needed (although more on that later).

This stage involves the introduction of fruit and the realisation that you will come out of ketosis. Both of which I don't want. I have realised that even through the introduction of food process, I don't have to add carbs back into my diet. That seems crazy to me. I don't want cravings for sugar which will come with fruit. So I have decided not to add it back in right now (maybe in the depths of summer). In addition we can add nuts and seeds as a protein choice. We are also told to eat more protein if we become hungry (as a result of the extra carbs).

I am a little surprise by the speed that carbs are being added to my diet. carbs are not something i want in my diet hardly at all in the long term and any I do have will be from vegetables rather than fruits. But the reintroduction of food is a set of choices and I have the right not to eat some of the foods. I didn't have meat for the first two weeks as an example. I wouldn't eat fish either because i just don't like it.

So yesterday i added extra protein by having 25 grams of nuts (raw). This was a nice evening treat, but I think I will add it to a morning meal as I don't like to eat in the evenings.

I am keeping a close eye on my nutrition on MFP. My calories have been less than 800 a day so far. But this week it will shoot up due to the meat thing. But at the same time my fat and protein counts will increase - while carbs remain low at less than 75 grams. My long terms goal is to be eating no more than 100 grams of carbs per day. I think this will be a good maintenance amount for me, with aabout 100-150 grams of protein and about 1500 calories. About 30-40% of that should be coming from fat. That should be a good combination to keep me full and satisfied without craving carbs.

 

[weasey]

Big step with the meat! Your calories may not increase with the meat - it depend on the volume you have and the type of veggie protein you were having. Although I supposed one of the aims of RTM is to increase calorie level to a point where you maintain... I'm worried about re-introducing carbs - especially as I'm diabetic - I think I need to mull on that before I get into RTM. Good luck this week!

 

[nzmegs]

I am off to my meeting this morning - pity about the rain... it will be the first time in two weeks that I will be able to stay due to the school hols. I am not really looking forward to it. I am sure it will be fine - but I suppose the whole thing about not losing weight (or just little bits) makes going to meetings a little bit more boring.I expect to have lost 1-2 pounds this week. I am not that bothered about that and my eating is still under control. I just can think of other things I would rather be doing today...

 

[nzmegs]

Stayed the same this week. Although to be fair - I weighed in wearing jeans for the first time and I had a big cup of tea about 30 mins before. Both things I would not have done usually. Although having said all of that, I have noticed a definite trend towards eating more this week. I have been eating nuts as a snack and some cheese. I am still keeping my cals below 1200, but I do feel a little bit like I need to be careful.

So this week is stage 4. I am still on 3 packs a day and one meal. I have some extra fruits and cheeses available but otherwise it is very similar to last week. I really can't wait to move up to two meals. I don't mind the packs - i just feel like it would be good to start testing out my ideas on the types of foods I can eat long term.

I still am not having any grains or pulses. My carb amounts are less than 90grams a day and protein is about 100 grams - sometimes a bit more. I have swapped my yoghurt to a full fat version (no sugar added of course). I am having less of it to remain within the calories allowed, but as you might have guessed it fills me up much more. I am also having full fat cheese and occasional olive oil. Olive oil is not on the allowed list at all, but I just don't believe in low fat diets, so I am not concerned about it. There are no carbs in oils anyway.

I am still working my way through the meals I cooked last week, but on the weekend I am planning a lamb casserole to put in the freezer. I am learning that planning is everything and having my meals all weighed measured and counted is making life easier by far. I like not having to think too much.

I had a little wobble yesterday though. I had a very busy morning and didn't eat my breakfast. By the time i got home it was lunchtime. So I ate my porridge and followed it immediately with my afternoon snack. After a little while i was still hungry and i started eating some pate. Low in carbs, high in fat and protein - so I wasn't worried about the choice. But I did end up eating far too much. I didn't really know when to stop and didn't until it was all gone...by then I felt a bit rough.

I nipped it in the bud by adjusting my evening meal to include just a shake. it kept me within the calorie limits and under the carbs. So no harm done. But I had to learn lessons from it. Don't miss a meal, don't go shopping when hungry, don't eat from the container (portion your food out before eating and put the rest away), work out in advance what you will be eating, make up for poor choices with good ones at the next meal (already did that one!).

I guess this is first of many lessons still to come.

 

[nzmegs]

Another week has gone past. I lost a pound this weigh in. So I am now 4 pounds under my goal. Not worried about that at all. I am starting week five management. This means I now have just two packs a day.

My basic routine (at least today) was a shake for breakfast, 150grams of yoghurt with one vanilla shake mixed in for lunch, half a small tub of pate for my "second lunch", chicken and vegetable curry for dinner (no rice or anything) and i will have a small piece of cheese with my evening cup of tea.

My carb count is around 55 grams, around 1200 calories, 74 grams of fat and 93 grams of protein. I think that is about a perfect combination. I am not hungry at all, so it might be my regular pattern for the week - alternating with different evening meals and second lunches. I have this second lunch at about 4pm. I try to make all my meals around the same number of calories, carbs and protein so I am very balanced all day with no hunger at all. breakfast is a little low, but I eat it late, so it is very close to lunchtime anyway.

My aim this week is to avoid snacking. I think with four good sized meals and an evening snack there is no need to be snacking. As long as I eat enough fat and protein I should not be hungry at all. If i continue to lose weight I know I can up my calorie and carb level a little.

I know this still sounds quite regimented, but I need to be at the moment. I felt myself going a little off track last week - snacking on nuts and eating when i wasn't hungry. I need to stop that before it becomes a habit. I still have around 3-4 weeks of management before I stop packs so I am still having to be careful.

This week i am supposed to add in some pulses and starchy vegetables. I am concerned about it - but I am going to try some lentils and maybe add in a sweet potato to one of my slow cooker meals just to see the effect on my hunger levels. I can always cut back again if i need to. Thankgoodness for MFP as it has been great for keeping track of everything.

I had two glasses of wine over the weekend and still didn't put on weight. it is nice to know that I can lead a normal life.

 

[nzmegs]

Feeling really stressed out and don't want to eat. Really busy day and lots of things have happened which have made me feel stressed and actually quite sick...

Fistly one of my clients is being a real pain and keeps sending back work to be rewritten. It is a problem because she doesn't explain what she wants in the first place. I don't charge for rewrites, so it is eating into my money and time...
Had to cook my dinner early because we have a school visit this evening. This means I have less time to complete my work. Can't concentrate anyway.
Coloured and cut my hair this morning and the colour (which was an experiment) has come out wrong. I am a bit "different" when it comes to hair colour, but purple/lilac is a bit too much. My daughter announced that she hates it and my son said blue would be better...
Got given a gift from a friend. She spent far too much money and I feel guilty. She also got what I wanted but in the the wrong colour. She wants me to change them but I feel bad a bout it. Also i know my husband will hate what she has chosen. It harks back to my teenage years, I have to agree that it might be a bit "mutton dressed as lamb". I think he will insist I get something else which will disappoint her and me... I feel really stressed about that. the thing is that she knew I wanted these since i was a teenager but could never afford it. She wanted me to have my dream - I am so pleased about that, but feel bad about what the eventual outcome might be.
I think I feel like a bad friend and a bad mother. My daughter thinks I am horrendous to turn up at school looking like a girl band reject in skinny jeans and light blue hair and I have to agree that i am feeling too old right now for all this stuff.
PLus i have a mountain of work to do and the house is in a state. Husband due home any minute and tea should be ready...aaargh. Please let it all seem like a bad dream tomorrow.