nzmegs - Maintenance Diary

It's great that you aren't tempted to turn to food at times of stress - that's a fantastic result! Sorry about the rest of it though...

To be honest if my husband told me not to wear something I would wear it every single day! I have a strong rebellious child streak!
 
Feeling much better this morning - still mildly anxious though and cannot put my finger on why. Husband was surprised by the gift, but didn't really pass comment. I suspect it will be a case of wearing said item when he isn't with me! I also got up very early this morning and re-coloured my hair. it is now back to its usual white/blond. I worked late last night and finished my left over work. I told my client to just sit on the piece of work i sent her and that we will look at it in a another couple of weeks when her website goes live. I think we both need a rest from it.

So all the bad stuff is dealt with, but still feeling overwhelmed. next on the agenda is the messy house which will be sorted today in between my work and a trip to town to do some banking. hmmm...how to full time workers find the time for anything?
 
Good question! I work full time with a three hour round trip on top so it's a bit of a juggling act getting family admin etc done!!

Hope you still feel positive and less anxious when you get up today. Sounds like you really turned things around yesterday. Good for you!! Xx
 
At least i didn't deal with it through food which i would have done six months ago. But I think that might explain why I felt so anxious - I had no method to lose that feeling. So I had to deal with the issues which is much harder. The weather is getting me down too. I hate the rain. I need to be out and about enjoying the sun. I don't cope with being cooped up inside.

Weigh in today. Thinking i might have stayed the same or maybe 1 pound off. I am happy with my current eating regime. it doesn't really resemble the recommended levels of carbs, but i have to things in my own way if it will last long term.
 
Had my class today. Stayed the same and am still going to be eating the same foods.

What I really want to talk about is the assertiveness module we started today. We looked at different personalities and how they interact and the best ways to deal with things. it turns out that I am pretty much passive. Not all the time. But for the most part I will do or say anything to keep the peace. This is a learned response from a pretty difficult (abusive) relationship I had during my 20's. In that situation it was always the best response to keep quiet and agree with everything. Arguing was pretty much pointless. However that left me feeling very vulnerable any time there is any conflict with anyone. I tend to retreat, avoid the conversation (sometimes because of a fear of the unknown), pretend it isn't happening and shut down if anyone gets angry at me.

However at the same time I am desperate to be heard and to express my opinion in a safe environment. Because of this I do much of my arguing via email (if i have to at all). Unfortunately others around me have a more aggressive approach and will simply tell me I am wrong. I will usually end up agreeing despite feeling very wronged by having to do that. the other person doesn't know i feel like i have to agree - they just think they have won the argument. This perpetuates the whole thing. The other person will learn that being aggressive (not violent, but a bit shouty and not backing down) will get the result they want. I agree and they win.
In the end I feel deflated and sad because once again, my point of view meant nothing. I know i am allowing this to happen because of my approach to conflict.

So I learned today that when i am confronted with conflict, I need to be more assertive. First I have to show the other person I understand their argument, tell them if I agree with elements of it but to clearly and firmly point out that while I appreciate they have their own opinion, I also have my opinion and I believe in my own feelings. I then have to ask for a compromise as a solution to the fact we don't agree. I recognise that the other person needs to be heard as well and that their opinion is valid, but so is mine. I deserve to be heard. it is also acceptable to agree that we have different opinions.

I don't know how successful this will be if I feel very stressed by the situation or if I feel unsafe, but I can't continue to avoid conflict or to give in. it just perpetuates the whole thing. I am just as much to blame for the situation.

it is a big issue for me and could be behind the whole eating to drown my feelings thing. So I have to work through it. it feels scary. Talking about this with other people will not be easy and could lead to exactly the sort of thing I am trying to avoid.
 
I am amazed - even after a weekend of eating loads and not counting calories, my weight has remained the same. In fact i have been around the same weight for the last three weeks. All I can put it down to is eating less than 50-60grams of carbs a day. I estimate my calories to be close to 2000 each day over the weekend - normally a level i would put on at. but not even an ounce. In fact - half a pound down. So to anyone who hates the idea of a low carb diet (especially for maintaining your weight) hopefully my anecdotal evidence will help to sway you.

Sugar and starch simply do not deserve a place in my diet. I feel healthier than ever and not missing them one bit. In fact it has been close to 6 months since I start LL and so i have been low carb for all that time. yet I feel great. Try telling that to all those grain eaters out there!
 
Nzmegs it sounds as though it is going great. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of thing do you have in your daily menu?
 
Hi Zombie. At the moment I am still having two LL packs a day. So my menu is like this: Vanilla shake made with extra peanut butter, chicken pieces or eggs for lunch, greek yoghurt (full fat) with another vanilla pack mixed in as a mid afternoon snack, dinner is lamb curry, chicken thai curry or beef stew with non-starchy vegetables (no rice/potatoes or pasta). If i want a snack I have cheese, hard boiled eggs or slices of meat.

To be honest, this is usually plenty of food - but on some days i am hungrier than others and will have extra snacks such as nuts. But these are higher in carbs, so i avoid and try to have them only on a weekend.

Counting the carbs is essential. I count carefully Monday to Friday and let myself relax more on a weekend. it seems to be working out fine. I admit I am still in the early stages on management, but if i continue avoiding sugars and starches, i should hopefully be able to maintain with no problem.

I have a weigh in this morning and suspect I might be 1 pound up. it is because I am feeling quite bloated due to TOM. But my aim has always been to stay the same as when i started maintainence. But I am still 4 pounds below. So things are going well.
 
That sounds like loads of food! I want to try and follow a pattern similar to this when I eventually get there. I am a long way off for now, but there is no harm in planning ahead! I can take or leave pasta and rice in any case, bread has always been my carb downfall so I think I may just never reintroduce it at all. Thanks for this, it really helps to read this thread.
 
Zombie - it is a great idea to think ahead and do some research on what will work best. I have read loads, looked at a million blogs and settled on a sugar free, low carb diet which I can stick to in the long term. I am not saying I will always be perfect, but I feel confident that it it is easy enough for me to not make too many mistakes.

Had my weigh-in - stayed the same again. I guess i must be doing everything right - because staying the same is exactly what i should be doing. I ma not limiting my food at all and always eat something whenever I am hungry. I guess I am just not as hungry as often as I used to be. Carbs can really increase your cravings.

This is week seven of management and I am having two packs a day still. But I think I will cut back on that to one a day or two if i really want/need it. I feel like I need to start a longer term diet now and packs are not going to be part of my diet long term

I am enjoying having a shake for breakfast each morning, so i want to continue with that. But I am searching for a low carb version. I think I might have found a chocolate protein powder which is very low in carbs - just 1.9grams per serving (compared to 13 grams per LL shake). I might give it a go. it is also higher in protein. Having a shake at breakfast time really suits me - I combine it with coffee to get my caffeine hit at the same time!
 
Ooo - what make of protein shake is it? I would really like to find a low carb one.
 
Me too - I'm interested as well.
 
I went into one of those stores which sells sports supplements and asked the guy behind the counter. he pointed it out to me on the shelf, but I didn't buy it yet. So, I have no idea what it is called. It is £30 for a big tub and the writing on it was red and black...the next time i am in town I will go and have a closer look. But he pointed out to me that the carbs were just 1.9 per serving and about 25 grams of protein. it was a whey protein powder. he was very knowledgeable and told me that the carbs came from the lactose in the milk powder and not from sugar. in fact there was no sugar in the product at all, just a mix of sweeteners.
Sorry i can't be more helpful. I am hoping to buy some when I stop having packs. I expect it will work out cheaper than buying vanilla shakes from LL and the carb count is definitely lower. Just wondering what the taste will be. My husband has a protein shake in the mornings, but the carbs are 23 grams. he needs the energy and doesn't have a weight problem, but I can't really use his brand.
 
nzmegs said:
I went into one of those stores which sells sports supplements and asked the guy behind the counter. he pointed it out to me on the shelf, but I didn't buy it yet. So, I have no idea what it is called. It is £30 for a big tub and the writing on it was red and black...the next time i am in town I will go and have a closer look. But he pointed out to me that the carbs were just 1.9 per serving and about 25 grams of protein. it was a whey protein powder. he was very knowledgeable and told me that the carbs came from the lactose in the milk powder and not from sugar. in fact there was no sugar in the product at all, just a mix of sweeteners.
Sorry i can't be more helpful. I am hoping to buy some when I stop having packs. I expect it will work out cheaper than buying vanilla shakes from LL and the carb count is definitely lower. Just wondering what the taste will be. My husband has a protein shake in the mornings, but the carbs are 23 grams. he needs the energy and doesn't have a weight problem, but I can't really use his brand.

Anything which ends on 'ose' is a sugar - just a natural one. So lactose is the sugar you find in milk. However, if it's only 1.9g of carbs then it obviously doesn't have much in the way of lactose in it. I'm wanting something to replace the vailla shake too - and I have lots of fitness goals I want to go for once I up my calories a bit and I'd like to start protein shakes - but I want to stay low carb.
 
Nzmegs, just to let you know my husband gets a protein powder from holland and Barrett which is high protein low carb, it is quite dear as it is a big tub but lasts for ages and ages, he also mixes it with yoghurt sometimes.
 
You are right weasey - of course. I guess I meant there are no "added sugars". I am guessing it must have a very small amount of milk powder in it. I am doing the sums at the moment to see if it will work out cheaper than buying vanilla shakes. But if i don't buy shakes, I might not go back to my group. That might be a slippery slope!
 
I intend to weigh in once a month once I finish rtm (not quite started it yet!) but I dont really want to be buying packs then...
 
Had my meeting today and I have stayed the same - again! This is despite a wobble over the weekend where I gain 2 pounds. I didn't exactly eat off-plan, I just ate a bit too much and especially nuts. They are high in carbs (around 10%) and I failed to stick to my portion. Obviously they are a bit of a trigger for me and I need to keep it in check. I noticed the weight gain on friday and then again on Sunday. So i cut back on carbs and calories and drank loads of water for two days and lo and behold - I am now back to my usual weight.

I have a weekend away with my hubby in three weeks time and I want to lose a little so that I have a buffer before we go. So while I am still feeling motivated I am planning on sticking to this current regime to shift another couple of pounds.I don't know if my body will like that or not. it might not let me lose more because this is my ideal weight (I have stuck to it for a month after all!). if so, at least i know I have a good strategy for losing it after the weekend away.

So now i start week eight of RTM. This is the final week and as of next week I don't need to have packs any more unless I want to. According to the instructions I am meant to add bread, rice, polenta, high sugar fruits and high starch veges to my diet. I won't be doing this - obviously - but i have not problem with that. I will still be having one pack a day. I am happy with that.

I am not sure what to do from next week. I am happy with the diet i have devised, it seems to be working for me. I believe I can cut out the last pack without any problems and replace it with a protein shake mix instead. But what about the meetings. Next week we have our last week on the assertiveness module and I want to attend that. But after that (and from next month) I will have to pay £15 each time i go (or so I believe). I think I might just go for a weigh-in once a week and to have a chat. But I will miss my group and don't really want to not go. it is such a part of my routine (I have only missed two sessions in 6 months).

But £60 a month for something I no longer need (fingers crossed) might be a bit over the top. I just wonder if I am strong enough to leave just yet. I guess a gradual step back from it might be the way to go.

it is a scary prospect.
 
Tomorrow i am off to my class again. I am in two minds about whether to even bother going. I won't be buying any packs and I feel like it is a bit of a waste of my morning. I am actually coping quite well on my own. I have my diet sorted, I seem to be able to say no to all the foods I know I shouldn't eat and I feel pretty much sorted in my head with regards to why I overate in the past. I know it was a mix of food addiction and using food to numb feelings. I just don't do that any more and haven't for 6 months.

I am thinking i might just go and get weighed and not stay. My class has chopped and changed so often that it feels like I am the only original person still there. They all turn to me to advice all the time. It is fine, but sometimes I feel like a fish out of water. My counsellor runs a maintenance class in the evenings, but I can't attend. So this is the only class I can go to.

I suppose I feel as though I just want to get out there and enjoy being free of the weight and free of my addictions. But at the same time, the odd crocked thought creeps in sometimes which makes me wonder if I should keep going.

If I thought I had lost a couple of pounds this week, I would be raring to go. But because I have probably stayed the same - again, it just isn't exciting anymore. Going week after week and losing constantly was such a buzz and that feeling has gone. Now it is simply the ho hum of maintaining. it is pretty boring to be honest. the highlight has been losing 2 pounds I put on...

I think I need a new goal.I have been thinking about my body fat. I went from 42% (eek) down to 29%. My aim was to get under 30% and most of the time it hovers around 29%. That is OK, but women should really be less than 25%. So I am thinking of trying to aim for that. It will mean building some muscle while losing some fat. My weight would stay about the same. perhaps having something else to look forward to will work. it is just a case of working out the best way to do it. I have weights at home and I walk loads. Just a regular weights routine is probably all it will take. At least i will see the results quickly now there is less fat covering my muscles.

I have been looking into protein shake mixes this week. it occurred to me that the Atkins shake powder might be OK. Turns out it looks pretty good actually. Cheaper than the bodybuilder stuff and still has 18 grams of protein. Low fat (BOO! TO THAT - BUT I ADD PEANUT BUTTER ANYWAY) and just 2 grams of carbs. Low carb shopping sites seem to have some good shake options too. In lots of ways i would rather not use a bodybuilding formula - I don't want huge muscles - just a nice tasting powder I can mix into my morning shakes and my greek yoghurt.
 
Back
Top