O/T I'm confused!

B

Blue Butterfly

Gold Member
Ok my Exante journey is on hold until 1st Jan (I will get there eventually!)

BUT.....I have something that is bugging me and I know I should post it in the relationship/dating part on here but this section feels like my 'home' if that makes any sense so I hope you all don't mind me posting this here.
I will try and keep it short.

Ok, 2 weeks ago today I went out on a date with a lovely guy. We 'met' online and had been talking for months, finally managed to find a day when we were both free and went and had a drink in a cafe.
He made it clear that he liked me alot and gave me tons of compliments. Oh he likes bigger women, I met him on a site for plus sized women and the guys that love them!!

We talked non-stop and before we knew it 3 hours had passed.
My brother was supposed to pick me up from town but the guy offered to drive me home instead.
As we were getting on so well I asked if he wanted to come back to mine so we could talk some more, he knew there would be no sex coz I dont on the first date. Plus my brother was at home!

Anyway, we went back to mine and kissed and cuddled for another 2 hours and we talked some more too.

He left (after nearly 6 hours together) text me when he got home and.......
I haven't heard from him since :cry:

Does anyone know why he would have just stopped talking to me all of a sudden?

I guess I feel a little hurt right now, things seemed to have gone so well and now he's ignoring me.
I haven't dated alot as I was hurt VERY badly (physically and emotionally by someone I was with a few years ago) so don't know what's 'right' and 'wrong' after you've been on a date with someone!
Is it normal to not hear from them for 2 weeks??
I have no clue!

Any replies would be greatly appreciated.
x
 
The very nearly same thing happened to me!!! I met a guy online had a fantastic weekend and then never heard from him again for over a week! I was beside myself as I knew he was the one!! Well he finally got in touch and explained that he had been in a really nasty relationship previously and just got scared when we got on so well and knew that a serious relationship was coming, I said that we would take it slow and see what happened and that was two years ago and we are still together and the happiest we could ever be! So just letting you know that there could be many reasons he's not got in touch and just be patient, text or leave a voicemail saying that you won't badger him this is the last time you will try to contact him and that he knows where you are... Then the ball is in his court and you have done all you can. That's what I done and half hour later he was texting me. Xx
 
Thanks for both of your replies :)

I guess I'm just annoyed that he acted like he was interested in me and has now decided to ignore me. If he wasn't interested he could have said so.....being ignored is worse than being told someone doesn't like you!
 
Just have patience... He will think about it and realise he owes you an explanation, whatever the outcome. X
 
teetiefunk said:
Just have patience... He will think about it and realise he owes you an explanation, whatever the outcome. X
Click to expand...

I wouldnt bank on it, not after 2 weeks and ignoring texts and emails

Personally if someone behaved like that towards me then I wouldnt waste a moment more on them. Why sit around waiting for someone who not only doesnt sound interested but has absolutely no respect.

Delete his number BB and put your time and care into someone who deserves you *HUGS*
 
I agree with Starlight this jerk does not deserve you wasting anymore time & worry on him. He was after sex plain and simple..........and you did exactly the right thing not giving it to him. Have you thought how things would have been anyway if it had worked out once you started to lose the weight? It would have been far worse to get emotionally involved with him only to be dumped if he didn't like the new slim you??? Someday you will find the ONE who will like you for you and not what size you are. Good luck on the journey both with exante and finding your man. xx
 
His number has been deleted and I will forget about him! I know in my heart that he's not worth it, I deserve better than him! I'm just sick of being single but am going to focus on my weight loss for now :)
Oh and yes Bernice, I was worried about how he would react when he knew I was losing weight. I did tell him so maybe that's why he's not interested.
I kinda wanna email him to tell him he's a jerk but that would be childish of me so I wont!

Thanks for the replies everyone x
 
CalgonTablet said:
Hmmm. Been on both ends of this situation in my time; more often than not, I've been more like the bloke than the girl (not that weird seeing as I am a bloke).

I know. I hang my head in shame.

Just accept it; blokes, by and large, are rubbish. We're just poor. Our little penises tend to direct our choices in multiple situations, and it's often to hell with the consequences or how our behaviour affects the lives or feelings of others. The chances are that the bloke you met 'liked' you. He probably thought you were lovely and decent and perfectly attractive. However, the prospect of a relationship or anything longer-term was likely never on the cards from the outset; he was just looking for a 'sexual encounter' and a bit of fun, which you, thankfully, failed to deliver. It doesn't matter what he told you beforehand; males tend to lie too. A lot. Don't take it personally. Sophie Dahl, even during her 'fit' days, could have shown up and he'd have likely blown her out too after getting what he was looking for.

I have been on many dates over the years where I would have little/no intenetion of developing any kind of relationship with the girl, and I can usually make this decision quite quickly, usually within half hour or so (I'm sure girls can too!). I'll never lie and make out otherwise, but, if the date led to any kind of "Hey, wanna come back to mine for coffee?" yeah, Ok, I'd go back quicker than a rat up a drain pipe. Usually, anyway. I've tried to calm down in the past few years.

He's now likely decided to spend his time elsewhere, so you're actually better off out of this little mess, than him ignoring you three or four weeks down the line when you had actually dropped your knickers. The fact he isn't getting in touch does, admittedly, suggest he's a bit of a cock, however - He could, at the very least, have dropped you a text or a mail explaining that he didn't think things would work out etc and sorry... The usual bulls--t, even as a bit of courtesy.

Maybe he's pissed off because you made him wait a whole six hours and didn't give him anything? In which case, well bloody done.
Click to expand...

Thank you CT, your post made me laugh :)
Especially that last bit!
But the jerk knew before we even got in his car that there would be no sex as I had told him while we were at the cafe. So he knew and still came back to mine.....ah well, it's his loss!!
 
Double eeeeeek!!!
 
calgon thats disgraceful.
 
lmao calgon!!!
i think most men including the one you didnt hear from try to get sex from a first date. think of it like this,,,,, he didnt get his sex but went home and gave himself a handshake over your sofa passion ;)
im afraid to say that i wouldnt be able to hold back and would send him an evil email saying you wanted to give him a hand shake but you couldnt find anything to grab :D
 
Blue Butterfly said:
Ok my Exante journey is on hold until 1st Jan (I will get there eventually!)

BUT.....I have something that is bugging me and I know I should post it in the relationship/dating part on here but this section feels like my 'home' if that makes any sense so I hope you all don't mind me posting this here.
I will try and keep it short.

Ok, 2 weeks ago today I went out on a date with a lovely guy. We 'met' online and had been talking for months, finally managed to find a day when we were both free and went and had a drink in a cafe.
He made it clear that he liked me alot and gave me tons of compliments. Oh he likes bigger women, I met him on a site for plus sized women and the guys that love them!!

We talked non-stop and before we knew it 3 hours had passed.
My brother was supposed to pick me up from town but the guy offered to drive me home instead.
As we were getting on so well I asked if he wanted to come back to mine so we could talk some more, he knew there would be no sex coz I dont on the first date. Plus my brother was at home!

Anyway, we went back to mine and kissed and cuddled for another 2 hours and we talked some more too.

He left (after nearly 6 hours together) text me when he got home and.......
I haven't heard from him since :cry:

Does anyone know why he would have just stopped talking to me all of a sudden?

I guess I feel a little hurt right now, things seemed to have gone so well and now he's ignoring me.
I haven't dated alot as I was hurt VERY badly (physically and emotionally by someone I was with a few years ago) so don't know what's 'right' and 'wrong' after you've been on a date with someone!
Is it normal to not hear from them for 2 weeks??
I have no clue!

Any replies would be greatly appreciated.
x
Click to expand...


He is a jerk and does not deserve a second thought - especially since with Exante you are going to end up a skinny minny and not his type at all!
 
aww he's a mean jerk, the least he could have done is let you know even if it was by text or someother way. You deserve better even though right now this feeling sucks. HUGS
 
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