Oh blast and bother

[KD]

Saw a relative this morning. Always a bad move

She said "See you haven't put the weight back on".

She gave me that 'knowing but caring' look and then said "hope you haven't got rid of your fat clothes....cos you're sure going to regret it".

I told her that I hadn't got rid of them (though I have) Instead of rejoicing in the feeling that I won't be needing them, I keep thinking of the expense I'm going to have to go through buying them all again

Been feeling really low and negative this last couple of weeks. Really needed that

Sorry...had to share. Will run away now, cos I hate it when I feel all negative about everything. Just needed to pass this on...........

 

[Gen]

Ah honey... don't mind whoever it was who said that... take it out of head and stamp all over it and let it be gone i tell you!!!

seriously though how dare anyone pass remark on anything cheeky moo..

sending you lots of hugs honey

Gen xx

 

[Gill-cdthing]

omg how dare she that is terrible, i wish i had been there i would have given her a peice of my mind (not that i can spare any) pay her no heed

 

[icemoose]

Saw a relative this morning. Always a bad move

She said "See you haven't put the weight back on".

She gave me that 'knowing but caring' look and then said "hope you haven't got rid of your fat clothes....cos you're sure going to regret it".

I told her that I hadn't got rid of them (though I have) Instead of rejoicing in the feeling that I won't be needing them, I keep thinking of the expense I'm going to have to go through buying them all again

Been feeling really low and negative this last couple of weeks. Really needed that

Sorry...had to share. Will run away now, cos I hate it when I feel all negative about everything. Just needed to pass this on...........

Well I am reading over 14 months since reaching goal so you have proved that you can and will keep skinny.

Don't take offence but I would have told her to **** off !

You are doing brill and don't let anyone knock you.

M.

 

[KD]

Thank you. Was feeling really sad. She's an older cousin and has had the ability to make me feel very inferior since I was a small child.

Last time I saw her was last Christmas at a gathering of all the cousins, 2nd cousins, cousins once, twice and three times removed.

She said in a big loud voice. "She really needed to lose weight. When you aren't very attractive, you can't afford to be overweight too". She then followed that with "At least she doesn't need to wear those odd clothes any more".

Okay...that's when I seethed inside. I've always been a jeans, t-shirt and good quality jacket person. Hey...I'm still a jeans, t-shirt and good quality jacket person I don't wear flambouyant clothes. Quite plain really.

One of the in-laws said "OMG...what a terrible thing to say", and I looked around and picked up everyone's jaws off the ground and just laughed it off, but inside I was confused. In my circle of friends, I would have dealt with it, but in the family it's a different matter. You just don't 'deal' with these people as they always win.

Anyway, just can't understand it. She can't be jealous! None of my friends (or family) have any reason at all to be jealous of me.

She's successful, (now retired) happily married, slim, not unattractive, rich, travels the world etc.

Once when I gave up smoking, she told me I'd start again. When I said I wouldn't she looked amazed that I would even think that I could do it. She said "wait and see.....I reckon I know you better than you know yourself".

Of course, after that quit, I did fail and she had the last laugh.

Do think it's weird though. There's just no need for it. I don't brag about my loss, in fact, it's hardly ever mentioned. I prefer not to talk about it in the real world. I don't put her down or anything. Not even in a playful manner.

Sorry....boring old stuff. Rant over.

 

[Mandana]

Do think it's weird though. There's just no need for it. I don't brag about my loss, in fact, it's hardly ever mentioned. I prefer not to talk about it in the real world. I don't put her down or anything. Not even in a playful manner.

Oh Karion, how horrible for you.

Seems to me that your cousin is lacking something herself, and by belittling you, she is making herself feel more important and in control. I would bet you £100 she is hurting inside and doesn't particularly like herself.

It would shock the hell out of her if you were to stand up to her - and probably do you both the power of good too. It would make her realise she can't just come out with these hurtful comments, and give you a huge sense of .. trying to find the right word here .. pride, self satisfaction, achievement .. not sure if any of them are correct or a combination of all?

Either way, try not to let her get you down. You're the one who lost the weight and have successfully kept it off - you're one of the tiny percentage that manage to do that, so remember what a massive achievement that is.

Oh, and well done for ditching the fat clothes! You'll never need them again

Mandana x

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Oh Karion, how horrible for you.

Seems to me that your cousin is lacking something herself, and by belittling you, she is making herself feel more important and in control. I would bet you £100 she is hurting inside and doesn't particularly like herself.





Oh, and well done for ditching the fat clothes! You'll never need them again

Mandana x

Yup, Im in agreement with that, To be at goal for 14 months is a massive acheivment too.

Although your cousin maybe comes accross as succesful and happy I'm not sure she is, if she get kicks out making other people uncomfortable then she is not a happy bunny, it seems to me like a little green eyed monster is popping into her head, put you down and she will feel better.

You have been fantastic in your weight loss, and I bet for every one of her, there are a hundred million others who are thrilled for you, me being one of them x

 

[boofaloo]

Agree with Mandana and Vicky - your cousin cant be very happy. And to be honest she isnt a very nice person, nice people dont say things to hurt others.
Take comfort in the fact you are a nice person - you have lost your weight and who gives a flying what she thinks!
You have achieved something many people never do- you have kept it off for 14 months and wont put it back on again because you will not give her the satisfaciton of being right about anything in your life anymore!!!!

Good luck honey - we can choose our friends but not our family - worst luck!!!!

 

[Purple Hugs]

Hmmm the phrase you can choose your friends but not your relatives springs to mind!

how rude and horrible of her!
I also like Mike would have told her to F off!

 

[KD]

Feeling a little better now I've read these replies. Hate to think she's sad though, but it does look that way.

It's strange really, as I don't have problems with others speaking so harshly to me. Just the family. Probably my fault. Fortunately it's only a once a year thing and I can usually brush it off. Just caught me unaware this time.

I guess they are just in the habit of treating me like this.

Oh well. If it makes her feel better. Guess I need to harden my armour a little more next time.

 

[Gill-cdthing]

you know at the end of the day karma is gonna bite her rich slim successful ass so hard she will spin, and you will have the last laugh,

 

[IreneH]

You're the successful one not her. Stand up to her next time and I bet that will shut her up. You are an inspiration to us so don't forget how successful you are
Irene xx

 

[Geri]

Oh karion,
what a cow!

She sounds like a very nasty piece of work, glad to hear you only see her once a year. Here's to you telling her in no uncertain terms next time to **** right off!!

You're doing great girlie, don't ever forget that

 

[andi]

Hi Karen,

I think that she is threatened by any success you have. It sounds like she was the "successful" one in the family and is frightened that you are stealing her crown. Y'know some of the coolest retorts I have ever witnessed have not been someone telling the other person to "F**K off" but have been when they have calmly pointed out how tackless and offensive the person has been and how they are wrong. You might wnat to rehearse a line for this xmas - why put up with her crap any longer??

 

[chicken on a mission]

I tend to feel sorry for these people that don't find that being successful and positive is enough so that they have to put others down to make themselves feel that bit more wonderful.

Having said that, that's only when reading about the experiences of other people, I'd seeth if it were me it had happend to and probably esculate the situation and create a conflict which I know is wrong

What I would hope to be able to achieve one day is reaching the stage where I feel so confident in myself that negative comments would be like water off a ducks back and I wish the same for you Karion

 

[KD]

Thanks. I think in the normal way I would have taken it on the chin. Hey! I did take it on the chin, and then came home and fretted, but it's been a bad couple of weeks. Hurt more.

Anyway....things get worse.

My Aspergic son collects glasses. Drinking glasses. If you know anything about aspergers, you'll know that these sorts of things are as important to them as their loved ones.

He has loads, and put up a shelf the length of his bedroom to accommodate them. He hates to do practical tasks like this, but this time, took pleasure in his handiwork.

So, he's gone off to work (works nights), youngest is in bed and DH gone to work.

I hear an almighty crash. yep. The lot has come down. Smashed to smithereens

It's all over his bed. It's everywhere. He is going to be devestated

 

[Gill-cdthing]

oh no... do you mean the little shot glasses, ? if so i can check out our 2nd hand shops as i have seen them there and get some to you to try help,

 

[KD]

Aw, thanks so much for the offer. It's a whole collection of different shapes and sizes. He [STRIKE]has[/STRIKE] had a huge one that's in a million bits up there.

About 100-150 glasses are broken All loved like a kiddies teddy.

Odd, I know...but he's 'different'

He'll be back about 2:30am, and I guess I ought to stay up to break the news. He will go balastic and will probably withdraw into himself for a few weeks

What a [STRIKE]bugger [/STRIKE] nuisance.

 

[Flopster]

Oh no! I hope he takes it as well as he can. I would imagine this is going to be very traumatic for him. I hope you manage to get all the glass out first and that he doesn't cut himself, what a nightmare!

 

[Gill-cdthing]

well i really dont mind looking out for some, i have a boy with adhd and he is obsessive about cars, toy ones, you know matchbox, and if i throw one out even if its broke there is murder, ,

Aw, thanks so much for the offer. It's a whole collection of different shapes and sizes. He [strike]has[/strike] had a huge one that's in a million bits up there.

About 100-150 glasses are broken All loved like a kiddies teddy.

Odd, I know...but he's 'different'

He'll be back about 2:30am, and I guess I ought to stay up to break the news. He will go balastic and will probably withdraw into himself for a few weeks

What a [strike]bugger [/strike] nuisance.