ok so having lost 3 stone i feel NO different...

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by cambridge*diet*08, 8 April 2008 Social URL.

  1. cambridge*diet*08

    cambridge*diet*08 Silver Member

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    i am about 3lbs off losing 3 stone BUT i dont feel any different than i did before...

    i still am very self conscious and hate my partner seeing my naked... :(

    this obviously affects 'things' quite badly... :eek:

    how do i begin to feel better about myself?????

    i feel ok'ish when i put clothes on but not how i thought i would feel after losing 3 stone...

    any tips on improving my self esteem????? PLEASE HELP ME! :cry:
     
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  3. scorpio dawny

    scorpio dawny keeps on trying

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    theres a program on tonight how to look good naked, twin sisters one doesnt like her body and wants to look like the other, when they are nearly the same. this might help you. you have lost alot of weight well done, i think we all dont like things about our bodies, and its not as bad as we think.
     
  4. KerrieW

    KerrieW Full Member

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    Hi CD08,

    It's perfectly normal not to feel overjoyed at your new body. After all if you are anything like many of us you will have spent many months/years hating to the point of loathing your body. It's unlikely you will adore it immediately! Some good advice from my CDC is that it takes the mind longer to catch up so the first thing to do is just give yourself time and space and let the brain catch up! Play around with new clothes - styles you might not have tried before, get a haircut, try new makeup anything that forces you to begin thinking differently about youself.

    I competely get you with the partner thing - many people have very low self-esteem which stems from years of self-neglect and thinking that our weight is the only thing that makes us beautiful or important. Remember that you partner loves you and is with you bigger or smaller and probably just wants you to be happy. You'll be most confident about your body, clothed or otherwise when you are happy with yourself so just work on that for now and try and relax into everything else - just remember to talk to your partner so he knows what's going on and that you might need a bit of space to get used to the new you.

    Hope everything goes well for you,
    Kerrie xxx

    PS - congrats on the brillinat losses - I am just about to go back on SS after lsoing the plot for a while and it is really hard so well done for doing it!
     
  5. Lisa Marie

    Lisa Marie Silver Member

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    I'm 5lb off 3 stone and feel the same. Did you take any before photos if you did take some at your current weight and compare them. Your sure to see a difference. I did this yesterday as I only lost 2lb this week and felt a bit crappy but seeing the phots cheered me up a bit.
     
  6. Mary Poppins

    Mary Poppins Gold Member

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    I think Lisa suggestion of looking at pictures is a really good one-BTW Are yours on site Lisa??
    I also agree that it does take your head a while to catch up...cause you must look way different...although not sure I feel comfortable naked after nearly 5 stone...don't know if I ever will.
    I'm sure very soon you will have to bite the bullet,as such and try to get more comfortable naked around your partner,but I think this is just one of those things that the more you do it the more comfortable you will feel(A bit like anything we are nervous about doing!)
     
  7. NooNoo1970

    NooNoo1970 Member

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    Hi hon,

    I know exactly where you are coming from!
    I first did CD in 2006 and lost 3 st 3, stats were about the same as yours(14.6-11.3) I am only 5ft2 and so even at 11.3 I was still looking like an overweight person. Its only now that I look back.....(now being at 15stone!!!!!!!!!) that I really appreciate what I had lost. I too didnt feel that much different, but in reality, I was much happier with myself, I was able to fit into size 16 clothes felt fitter etc, BUT in my mind I thought niavely that when I got to 11 stone (ish) I would be alot slimmer, feel slimmer and be able to fit into size 14 clothes. DOH!!

    Really appreciate what you have done, look at all the things you can now do/fit in to. Look at all the things that now dont happen...in my case I didnt have legs rubbing together, didnt have a massive apron belly :(, my son could get his arms all the way roun me when we had a hug, I had collar bones which showed.....etc etc

    You will look different, it does just take a while to appreciate it and see it for yourself.
    Have faith in you....the change will become apparent soon!!!

    Hugs and keep on going you are doing ACE!!!
    lou X
     
  8. Lisa Marie

    Lisa Marie Silver Member

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    No Susan mine aren't on yet, My before ones are minging I think I'll need to pluck up a bit more courage before I add them. You see I'm a shy girl really lol.
     
  9. cambridge*diet*08

    cambridge*diet*08 Silver Member

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    Ladies thank you ever so much for the comments and advice...
    I am afraid to say i didnt do before photos for fear of failure... didnt really think id stick the the diet so thought it would be a waste of time, d'oh!
    I like the ideas of my head taking time to catch up with my physical changes.
    This makes a little bit of sense, i mean i can get into my 16's which ive not been able to for ages but this does not make me feel brilliant... maybe it will soon, like when i am in the 14 jeans ;-)
    Thanks again xxx
     
  10. shinyhappyperson

    shinyhappyperson Silver Member

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    Hi CD08, I have felt like that since I was 15 and all my puppy fat fell off and I was just 6.5 stone. I have never, ever, ever felt thin - even at that weight.

    That is UNTIL NOW! I was 15 a very long time ago ;) and it is only now, with this fast loss diet, that I am really beginning to see a difference, ok not thin, but thinner!

    You say you notice your clothes are a bit looser - isn't that fantastic? Go into a shop and try on your current size, the one below, the one below that, then the next one! Ok the next one will be tight, but it's something to go for!

    Three stone is a fantastic achievement and you should be really proud of yourself.

    :worthy: It is a target I am still aiming for, so I'm jealous of you.
     
  11. Dancing

    Dancing Gold Member

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    CD08 ... hugs babe, hope you ok!

    I'm afraid to say that it won't matter how many photos you look at or how long you give your head to catch up .. unless you work on loving you, you may always have this issue. The men who love us respond to confidence no matter what size we are (those that don't respond to it, don't love us). So in order to look at the photos and make a change, you are going to have to put some effort into it. What does it mean about the person you look at in those photos? how would others who know nothing of your baggage perceive the person in those photos? what does your partner love about the person in those photos?

    YOu are not your body. We all get hung up on it - and i'm the classic one.... I couldn't even do what so many of you all do ... no way could I have the confidence to have a relationship while obese - my weight was the biggest factor even though I didn't want anyone else to look at me and see only the fat person ... that was always the thing I focussed on - I'm FAT. But none of us is our body. Yes, some guys will have an issue with it - they ain't worth it. Those that stick by us no matter what size are worth keeping and worth learning something from ... we are not our bodies. We have lost the weight to feel better about ourselves but sometimes that weight loss isn't enough. So, yes the fact that the mind takes some time to catch up is relevant but I personally believe it requires a little bit of effort and self love from us.

    If we keep repeating patterns of behaviour, we will get the same outcome. If you want a different outcome with your partner ... feel the fear and do it anyway. You will be rewarded ! :)
    big hug babeXXXX
     
  12. cambridge*diet*08

    cambridge*diet*08 Silver Member

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    ah thanks dancing... thats such a lovely post!

    and yes i will bear in mind the bit about 'feel the fear and do it anyway'...

    thanks again everyone x
     
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