ProPoints Once more unto the breach!

QtNutmeg

Full Member
I joined minimins earlier this year but let life slip away on me (again) in terms of food and exercise. I'm back home again after the Uni year having finished, joined a gym and determined that this time I will go back to Uni in March looking good, feeling great and with the mental fortitude to eat healthily and exercise regularly throughout the year. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm missing out on life because of my insecurities about how I look. No more. I'm four weeks into restart of weightwatchers propoints, am gyming regularly and trying out Jillian Michaels 30-day shred. Was feeling a little low today and giving the kitchen cupboards a serious eyeing until I remembered Minimins forum!! :) Now I'm back to being excited and reassured as I read other diaries and threads that there are so many others out there who are struggling along with me and heaps that have made it and turned their lives around! :) :) :)

Song for the moment: Break My Stride (Ain't nothing gonna):whacky068:

So here we go again.
 
--- break for xmas holidays and removal of tonsils--- now back at Uni, back into the gym and 5 weeks into tracking with WW again. New flatmates super supportive, even made them w.w. meal last night (sweet potato frittata with feta and red onion... mmmmm).
Weightloss is currently going slower than I would like, maybe i am undercounting things because I hardly use any weekly points or the exercise points that I earn, but I keep hanging on to the thought that the slower it happens the more definite it will stay off!
 
Today was more difficult. Morning was fine, did Shred level 2 and some pilates, went to Uni. Came home for lunch, didn't eat straight away and felt in control. But then some cravings swung in, started picking at leftover rice pudding... then more of it... and over the course of returning to the fridge 4 times finally finished it off for estimated 6 points then moved on to see what I could find in the cupboard. Thankfully have no biscuits or chocolate in the cupboard atm otherwise they would have been fair game! Had some fruitbursts, then a chupachup, an apple and still kept wandering between cupboard and fridge despite feeling full. I am very proud of my recover this evening however. Went to gym for zumba class then on the way home went to supermarket NOT to get classic binge food but fruit and ww jelly. Came back, made up the jelly in case of feeling the need for dessert and for dinner had some delicious minestrone that supportive flatmate made for dinner last night. Brilliant! Was only 3 points as full of yum vege and only a teensy bit of pasta and kidney beans :)

Its a little worrying as am starting to follow those craving cycles again the last couple of days. But so far have managed to hold myseld at bay and stay within points... hmmm, yes so far. I should trust myself more, but part of me is starting to do the bargaining thing... tommorrow is my last day of the food week and promised myself that if I held it together I could have a treat tommorrow, okay I promised myself that I could have a binge. Sounds awful when I say it outloud. Treat sounds better. I will give myself a treat for finishing the week. Wish I could think of something other than food but having so little funds is so very restricting!

Meanwhile, the odd dreams continue. I don't know whether anyone else has experienced this sort of thing but lately I have been having dreams which involve me losing control, eating everything in the cupboard (last night I even managed to invent a chocolate bar in my dream that consisted of chips, sandwiching nutella in wafer-like layers covered in chocolate?!) eating whatever junk food I could find and then feeling awfully, horribly sick and bloated, at which point I usually wake up to the incredible relief to find that it was actually a dream! (PS I have checked that it isn't a matter of sleep-walking and eating). Maybe this is a sign of dawning insanity, but it isn't as though I have been overly strict with myself, or that food is all I think about.

Oh well, I guess so long as I keep dream-binging I remind myself of that awful feeling you get when it happens, and may be less likely to do it for real. Fingers crossed!

Weigh-in tommorrow. This will be the first week for a while that I haven't let myself jump on the scales during the week. I really want to see a good difference tommorrow! I am hanging out for some positive re-inforcement that all this hard work is paying off!
 
WOOOHOOO! Woke up this morning, jumped on the scales (after a quick pee) and I weighed 64.2kg! Down 1.5 kilos from last weigh :) :) :) :)
I know that its not truly representative being in the morning but I still had my PJs on (have resorted to no clothes at other weighs just in case).

Trying to simply take this as a win and not let the thoughts back in about how this used to be the upper limit of my weight not comparatively light! Still it means that I've smashed my halfway mark and going strong.

Going to the supermarket I got my favourite low-fat (and expensive) ice-cream, going to have that with my jelly fruit cups for dessert tonight after lovely low-fat lasagne flatmate is cooking. Also bought a few curlywurlys for an extra treat if I have the points. Also a couple of giant jelly snakes which I have yet to point... not sure how to do that just yet, maybe weigh and calculate off ordinary jelly lollies.

Also went for a run this morning, couldn't believe when i got back and used 'map my run' it worked out to 9.6km!!! 5 weeks ago when I started tracking again I couldn't have imagined running that far without a serious series of runs building up to it!

So all round a great day today, have used 10 points so far so to get in curly wurly may have to use weeklies but have plenty of them left!
 
Bollocks.

After ending on such a positive note last night things went downhill a little... okay a lot.
Not immediately- worked out the points for lasagne, only 8pp + cooked some extra veges so I wouldn't go back for an extra slice.
Had dessert, jelly, fruit and icecream. Still only then on 21 points. Settled in to watch a movie with a curly wurly....
Lets just say I was a little optimistic about my self control when I bought 3 curly wurlys AND two giant jelly snakes.
Long story short I ate them all. Then some more icecream with toppings. Then a peanut butter and jam sandwich, then another sandwich. Then fell asleep feeling absolute crap.

Why are some lessons so much harder?!

But, I am not totally depressed and have decided there are some
positive things to take out of this:
- i reminded myself how awful I feel when I overeat and have lots of processed food (including gassy! Yuck!)
- I counted it all up this morning as best i could and came in one point under my weekly allowance
- Have decided that this week I earn those binge points back (via exercise only, no skimping on daily pp allowance) before being able to add to exercise points this week. (this may sound kinda extreme and I'm hoping it doesn't make things worse if I get all wound up about it being unachievable but at this stage its feeling like a good challenge)
- I've had a good reminder that I am not yet at the stage where I can have treat food in multiple amounts around the house.

One further positive note: the 'treating myself' (binge!) ended at midnight, haven't craved anything that would blow my points at all today (yet), though I have a four hour lab and then guest lecture to go to so that could change.
 
Phew, had a tricky evening today! My uncle invited my cousin and I to dinner on the research vessel he's working off that was docking here for the night. So today I bulked out breakfast and lunch with fruit and veg and went over feeling like I was fairly safe having 18 points for dinner...
Turns out they have a chef, who plates up an entire lamb rack on gravy for each of us with sides of mashed spud, peas, cauliflower in cheese sauce, creamed spinach and various sides.
Then for dessert, pavlova with masses of cream, enormous slices of cheesecake and tinned fruit salad.
I did my best, truly! Trimmed as much fat as possible off of the cutlets, minimised gravy, scraped as much cheese sauce off as possible (surrepticiously) and had plenty of peas. For dessert had thin sliver of pav after cutting it to avoid the cream with plenty of fruit salad bulked up underneath it so that my bowl didn't look ridiculous beside my cousin (who is very slim) and her massive helpings of everything. Coming home and pointing everything afterwards was a bit tricky.

Earning back exercise points for end of last week binge is going surprising well. Only another 15 points more and then I can start counting them towards this weeks :). My flatmates are dragging me on a run tomorrow which should help.
 
Pretty good day today. Though nearly had an upset after eating a pinky bar with lunch. It was such an awful feeling - the moment I had finished the chocolate bar I was instantly craving to eat anything and everything! my body must not be getting enough of that kind of sugar if its reacting like that! The cravings didn't stop till I got out of the house, but managed to get away with low fat ice cream and jelly, and no real damage done points wise. It was scary how strong the feeling was and came on immediately from eating chocolate, like flicking a switch. I'm thinking maybe I should start incorporating a square of dark chocolate a day, maybe that will help my body have a more stable reaction to sugar. Othertimes I would have put the reaction down to emotions - the old, crap now I've eaten that I may as well have this and this and this but I had it counted and planned so I really feel it was my body- scary!
On a happy note, made yum zero point butternut and capsicum soup for dinner with a bit of feta and low-fat carrot, chive and parsley scones. Soup will be really handy to have for lunch over the next few days, is supposed to be the last days of summer here but you wouldn't know it!
 
St Paddys last night, danced it up completely sober! Lasted just as long as those partaking and had a great dance into the bargain.
Was a little over on the points yesterday - 30pp, tried baking some low point cookies and kept eating the dough, but still made sure to count it! Will be adjusting my method a little bit. Rolled them out too thick and they puffed up quite a bit and are kind of bready. Thinking that I will make them into bread and butter pudding one night.

Tried porridge with ginger, brown sugar and yoghurt this morning, quite nice but may have gone a little OTT on the ginger. Am trying to cut back on the amount of fruit, especially banana that I have been consuming but still better than reaching for something else I guess.
Going to have some zero point vege soup for lunch with feta and toasted pita bread.

Heres hoping for a great arvo :)
 
Ended yesterday bang on 26pp (with a little help from w.w. jelly, fruit and low fat icecream). Had last of vege soup today, thinking I will try one of the asian-style ones that I've found in the recipes threads next. Also am making beef hotpot recipe from there for dinner tonight. Couldn't find cream of celery soup in supermarket here so am substituting for potato and leek. Hope it will be okay.
Weigh-in tomorrow, really hoping to get into the 63's, 63.9 would be good, anything lower will be great! Also going to do measurements and compare, fingers crossed that will be worth smiling about to!

Was nice talking to the family on skype last night and have them comment on how thin my face is :) Though they automatically follow up comments like those with "now don't aim too low, you don't want to disappoint yourself" when they are already smaller than I am!!!
 
64.4 = + 200g. Dammit. I feel smaller but the scales just aren't co-operating! Its very frustrating, trying not too feel too down about it.

Meaurements:

15th December 2011
6th March 2012
20th March 2012
Upper arm
30 cm
28.5
27.5
Neck
31.5 cm
32
31.5
Bust
94 cm
88
91
Waist
81 cm
78
76
Hips
94 cm
90
89
Thighs
63 cm
61
60
Calves
38 cm
38.5
38.5
 
Good end to a very up and down week. Bang on 26 pp with 3 hershey kisses sent from mum for 2pp. Heres hoping all the exercise I've been doing starts showing on the scales next week.
 
Thanks! Will have to keep me going while the scales continue not to co-operate.
I took a look at your weightloss pictures - you're an inspiration! I bet you have had a journey and a half to get where you are today :)
 
Went to a Madmen dessert-themed flatwarming last night. Argh! Gorgeous yummy sweet things and alcohol, points nightmare. Managed to almost stay within points, alcohol creeps up something shocking even though I was drinking vodka with diet gingerale. Didn't overdo it so feel fine today and should be able to get out for some exercise.
Nearly had bit of an upset yesterday, was one of those days where you feel surrounded by skinny people eating whatever they want i.e. junk and getting frustrated as even if I get to being the size I want I won't be able to.... something about cookies and crumbling... mmm someone brought a giant, pizza-sized cookie along last night. Turns out the shop is literally half a block down the street from my flat.

Wish I hadn't found that out.
 
Last couple of days have been good, despite being weekend and going out for dinner last night. Thank goodness for japanese food! Had chicken teppan with only some of the cup of rice so am counting it at 13pp and hoping I haven't underestimated the sauce. Turned down icecream at the dairy afterwards which thankfully not a big deal was made of.

Made a yummy low fat wonton soup on friday by modifying the asian-inspired zero point soup I found on the recipes pages here. Found the wontons in the supermarket freezer and as the rest of the soup is zero I just count the number of wontons in my bowl and then point it accordingly (6 for 4pp :)) LOOOOOVE it! Will have some more for lunch.

My turn to cook again tonight, we have so many eggs in the fridge am thinking I will make the ww sweet potato (or kumara as we say here) frittata. Went down well last time I made it for the flatties.
 
I am not going to waste time whining about the 2 1/2 day binge I have just awoken from. Assignment = stress= out of control eating = mindset that I should eat as much crap as possible before being 'good' again. Like I said, no breath wasted. Won't be trying to earn back via exercise points this week, new page approach instead. I know Easter is coming but I have had more than my quota of chocolate in the last two days so I'm going to tough it out and start this challenge anyway.

3 Week Challenge

Starting weight = 66.1kg (Dammit! hope some of that is food weight!!!)

Rules:
1) No weighing myself for 3 weeks (trying to break cycle of getting upset when don't see change)
2) No measuring myself for 3 weeks (so will hopefully have nice surprise at the end)
3) NO binge eating
4) All easter chocolate etc = counted
5) Pilates everyday regardless of other exercise

Reward for completion: Haircut.

No weight goal. Lets just see what I can do when I bust through this cycle.
 
Day 1: Excellent start. Avoided the temptation to revisit the scales after numerous trips to the bathroom (adds evidence to the food weight argument) but am not going to break rule 1 so will have good surprise at the end of three weeks.
Had a blah day mood-wise, felt fat and lumpish but came home and translated that into a run. Mapped it using 'mapmyrun' and realised I had run 13.6km!!! was so proud of myself I rang my dad straight away (he's really into his running).
Also did my wee pilates set, although had to replace a couple exercises due to searing pain from bruised tailbone. I don't recall as a kid it being this painful! Or how long it takes to get better?!

I am writing this on day 2 so may as well start that too. Went to supermarket early this morning and picked up ingredients for the lentil and ham soup recipe I found in the recipes forum. Made a few adjustments -using dried peas instead of lentils, added baby corn and tuscan seasoning as we were out of mixed dried herbs, also a bit more ham and veg. Turns out peas are about 10pp less than the lentils although I'm sure they won't be as thickening so added some more swede and carrot to compensate. Looks so yum in the pot with all the different colours, only another 10hours till I can try some...
 
Day 2:

Points: 25
Exercise:
- Shred level 3 (modified as couldn't bear pain of situps, jump lunges or rockstar jumps on the ole tailbone!) + some arm weights moves
- Zumba toning
- Pilates (got into bed before I remembered that I hadn't yet done my daily pilates, dragged myself out and onto the floor to get those done before crawling back to bed)

Ham and pea soup turned out alright though somehow it turned out to be quite spicy - maybe that was the tuscan seasoning? but still yum and filling. Added some cornflour in the end to thicken it a bit (probably lacking due to lentils being replaced). Could have used a little more baby corn I think. Ranking the soups I have made so far I would probably:

1) Wonton soup
2) Butternut and tomato
3) Ham and pea soup

But I would make them all again :)
 
Days 3 and 4:

4 days in and still going strong, pilates both days (though last night was another late one before going to bed) and tailbone is getting better slowly. Managed to drink last night with the flatmates and remain within points by eating lots of low point soup for lunch and dinner. Used 9 points for vodka mixed with diet lift, used a nip pourer to keep me honest. Was proud of myself for keeping within points though don't really get enough alcohol to feel it for that amount of points, probably would have been better off not drinking at all.

Flatmate used a recipe I got off the recipe forum for dinner tonight - a spicy beef stew with added potatoes and pumpkin. Really yum, low fat which is great seeing as I ate so much of it!!!

so day 3 points = 26
day 4 points = 24, though will probably have some yoghurt and berries later which will bring it up to 26.

Am trying to psych myself up for a long run tomorrow but might leave it and see how I feel in the morning. The shin splints are still troubling me so technically probably shouldn't be running any long distances but its really frustrating suddenly being fit enough to be able to! but not being able to! This is a really bitsy entry but thats reflective of the mood I'm in tonight.

Have been going through odd swings the last couple of days. At times will catch sight of myself in the mirror and think geez that mirror must be convex or something coz I look so small! and at other times I think that I haven't made hardly any progress at all. Still a battle. Found a good quote on someone elses page that I keep reminding myself of - losing weight is hard, but being fat is even harder.

So true.

The journey continues.
 
Day 5:

Exercise: 1 hr on X-trainer, waving free weights around
Points: 22pp, had so much fruit today that I counted 5 points for it, should probably count some more. Starting to feel it doing funny things to my stomach already... but I figure it was better to fill up on fruit than anything else.

Didn't get out for that run today unfortunately, but managed to do an arvo in the library getting some study done rather than coming home and blobbing. Made a green salad for dinner (on request on flatmate as otherwise try to avoid salads for dinner as kind of screams 'diet'), with red onion, feta, chicken, cucumber, capsicum, tomato, apple and croutons (separate for the flatties).

Feeling okay, no serious binge urges except for a vague want to do some baking. But not strong enough to avoid eating majority of the dough so will hold off for as long as possible and then make sure to count. Still a little nervous about easter coming up although technically haven't got any chocolate on me as ate it all in the binge preceeding this 3-week challenge, how out of control is that?!
 
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