Hi there,
I was nearly 40 stone when I weighed in last august (2016). I am now 1 lbs away from having lost 8 stone, and feel so much better. Everyone's journey is different, and I am a big believer that there is no right or wrong way to lose weigh, however the things I have learnt are;
- there is a difference between being actually hungry, and wanting to eat. once I had done a few months of eating less my stomach did shrink, and I am able to see when I feel physically hungry, and when i just have a craving to eat.
- I have done calorie counting which meant I was able to learn what calories I needed to consume to lose weight, but also what my maintenance calories are. This way I can have a 'bad' day, but keep logging. Every time i have had a bad day, I have eaten around maintenance calories. So actually its not that bad. The logging means i don't punish myself, as actually a few days at maintenance calories is OK and is not going to cause me to gain weight
- you have eat 'treats'. don't cut out all the 'naughty' stuff. if you do, you will fail at some point and binge. With SW make sure you eat ALL your syns. as you are big you will get extra syns - eat these. As you lose weight, the number of syns will reduce and means your body can continue to lose wight.
- I have done absolutely no exercise. As i have lost weight I have naturally been more active eg going out more, and walking to bus stops etc. but there is no requirement to join a gym, or anything. if you want to, great. but you don't have to do anything intensive to lose wight.
- write a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight. for me my list included things like being able to walk around a shopping center, not take 2 seats on a plan, and not feel so self conscious in public. I keep this list in the same spreadsheet as my weight loss numbers. i look at periodically, and tick off things I have achieved. This list is for you, so can be anything from your health, personal care, clothes size etc. You can also update as you lose weight. But don't make it about numbers. you can have mini number goals, but this list is more about how you are feeling, or how you live your life. This way if you don;t have a loss one week, you can look at your list and see how far you've come.
- I have set my goal at 20 stone. For me that felt like a realistic number, and although meant losing 19 stone, it didn't feel like I was trying to reach a really tiny number. Even now my goal is not about being skinny, but about finding a weight that I can maintain at. Even if I end up at 20 stone, this will be a lot healthier than 40 stone.
Your post has a lot of self loathing - you can;t be in that state of mind when you try and lose weight. if you are, any tiny set back will seem huge and may push you off track. There will be good days, and bad days, and i found week 3 to around week 7 the hardest. It then got easier once I had lost 10% as I really started to feel better.
Good luck - I look forward to watching your journey x x x x