OT - Depression/Apathy

Discussion in 'Cambridge Diet 100% Posts!' started by Watergirl, 15 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Really sorry if this brings anyone down, as that's not my intention. Quite a long post coming.
    Just looking for some advice really.

    I wondered if any CDC know more about why depression is contra-indicated with the diet. I'm feeling really bad at the moment and I'm not attributing it to the diet, as I have relapsed in the past. I think if you've had depression there's always the risk that it will come back.

    For the past 3 weeks I'd say, I've been displaying symptoms again. Feeling quite apathatetic about most things, complete lack of expression on my face and sometimes sit here on the sofa almost catatonic.

    I have my own business and own house. Money is tight, as BF spends so much money travelling into work (1.5 hr drive each way), so doesn't have the money to contribute to bills.

    Tried to downsize last year, but sale fell through 2 days before exchange. Knowing I have to run the business to pay the bills is zapping my passion for work and when you're feeling depressed you don't much want to work anyway!

    BF is incredibly supportive and helps where he can, but he gets down because he wants to earn more money to take the pressure off me.

    This morning my car wouldn't start, so have had to rely on Dad to help me sort it. Have been on the verge of tears all morning, but as usual I hide that from everyone who knows me. I worry that if I start crying I won't be able to stop or function, so I have to hold it together.

    Wondering if I should go back to the doctors and go back on my tablets. I am a great believer in depression being a chemical inbalance in some cases, so have no qualms about going back on medication.

    I'm all therapied out over the years and have never found it helpful. Was hospitalised twice and the only thing to help was medication.

    I'm trying to get myself better - going to yoga, losing weight. Thought that I was only depressed because of my weight, but it's turning out that that's not the case.

    Has anyone else been clinically depressed and does anyone think the diet can make you feel worse? For the record, I couldn't care less about eating at the moment and am not feeling fed up about the diet. I'm enjoying it, exercising daily and going to yoga. So I certainly don't want to stop the diet. It's one of the few things that I don't stres about. What's wrong with me? :cry:
     
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  3. MissAma

    MissAma Silver Member

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    Hey there, I'm not a CDC but I am a qualified Psychologist. I have to say that you taking a critical look at it is brill, well done you.

    I also have to say that I really don't believe there is any connection between CD and your particular experience with depression (not that you implied there is but just a general disclaimer.) In fact, very low carb diets (and low carb such as CD as well!) have been shown to help with depression.

    Now for my advice, absolutely look into restarting your meds, today's chemical response to depression is entirely fine tunned and IMO more efficient than conventional therapy -although, I always recommend behavioral as an efficient compliment so look into it if you have a chance -. Find a doctor you're positive is understanding the whole picture and the complex relationship to your weight as part of the equation and see if there is no way that you can be under very strict supervision and still CD (my mother is a heart patient, diabetic, a depression patient, etc and is still SSing at her age, for example).

    I wish you all the luck in the world and you have my sincere congratulations for jugling all the balls you do with the diet, the business, your relationship and so on.
     
  4. Sunshine Singer

    Sunshine Singer Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic

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    Oh hun, sending you a big hug. I've only been on anti -depressants once for about a year when I was going through the worst time in my life. The doc said they would help take the cloudiness away in my head and make me think more clearly. They did do this but they didn't slove the issues and after a year I insisted on coming off them with dreadful side effects. (obviously i did it the right way, didn' just stop but cut down)

    You've suffered depression before and i know lots of people who manage their depression with ongoing tablets and others who do without.

    This diet heightens our emotions so if it was me I'd hold back untill i was further down the line. However you dont want to be unhappy for the remainder of CD. I think you should def have a chat with your Doc and see what he/she suggests. We're all so different and everyone needs to do what suits them.

    Sorry i can't be more help but wanted yo to know i was thinking of you xxx
     
  5. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Thanks Ama. Good to know that you think there is no connection. I don't either because I do feel better in having lost weight and less stressed having to think about food all the time. I think that the depression is just resurfacing because I have a lot on my plate right now. Normally (when not depressed) I can take anything in my stride. I know it's coming back when I feel suicidal because my car won't start! I have 'all or nothing thinking' and feel pessimistic about things that are actually manageable. My Doctor is very good and incredibly supportive. He listens to my opinions on medication and is understanding. When I feel like I do at the moment I end up just sitting there crying and not being able to speak, so it helps having someone good who knows my background. Still, at least I'm still crying! I know when I get worse I can't even muster that up.

    Thank Sunshine :) I definitely found early days my emotions were heightened. Now, despite feeling tearful I also feel quite flat though. Hard to describe, but it's like just wanting everything to go away and not be here. Stopping the diet isn't an option for me, as I know that would make me even more unhappy.

    I want to deal with this before and, in case, it gets worse. Right now I'm getting up, going to work, managing, but feeling fed up. I'm slightly worried that I will crack though and have a complete breakdown if anything else lands on me. Off to Parent's now to see if Dad can fix car, so will not be on for a while in case anyone responds and thinks I'm an ignorant cow!
     
  6. curlywurly1234

    curlywurly1234 Cambridge Consultant

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    Hey Liz,
    I just wanted to send you big hugs hon... I am sorry I have no answers and the ones you have had are fab.. Just wanted to say Im thinking of you x
     
  7. Sunshine Singer

    Sunshine Singer Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic

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    Hun.... I know you posted about your yoga on another thread but I've looked up my class and I could only do sunday mornings so........I'll let you know if I'm going nearer sunday. Think I should do it and you've inspired me to get back into it. Hope yours is going well. Have a good afternoon with your dad and keep strong. see ya later xxx
     
  8. faithandcooper

    faithandcooper Full Member

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    aw hun sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I too suffer with depression and am currently on week 7 on 10mg cipralex, its great I struggled 9 long months without medication but I am so glad I did give in and seek help, my depression started after i developed health anxiety and the medication has also helped my anxiety no end. I always see the worst case scenario....nothing positive!!! I am hoping it time i can change this. although i feel weaker than before i feel great doing CD and have something happy to focus on.
     
  9. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Curly - thank you hun :)
    Sunshine - fingers crossed for Sunday mornings! I went this week and the class was quiet.
    Faith - thanks for that. Previously have been on a variety of meds dating from Amitriptyline years ago to newer SSRI's like Citalopram. I have never heard of Cipralex, but it seemed to show great improvements, more quickly than Citalopram. I think I'll talk to my doctor about it. Have suffered with anxiety for a long time mainly because of blushing. I had a sypathectomy about 10 years ago which completely changed my life, but still feel generalised anxiety especially when stressed.
     
  10. faithandcooper

    faithandcooper Full Member

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    cipralex is similar to citalopram except in a purer form(less side effects etc)....its also called escitalopram. It has worked wonders for me...my hubby cant believe the change in me. I still have bad days but no where near as bad as they were. no more panic attacks either which is amazing :)
     
  11. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Glad to hear that you're feeling much better Faith. It's so debilitating having anxiety and depression.
    I think I'm going to bite the bullet and go back to the doctor then.
    Dad is still working on car and going to have to take it into a garage at some point tomorrow I think. So can't go until Friday probably.

    I came off medication because it affected my sex drive severely. I know that people will say that being emotionally stable is more important, but faced with knowing you might be on medical for a long time, it's not a nice trade off.

    Perhaps I just need some help temporarily this time :)
     
  12. Shopaholic

    Shopaholic is back to finish the job

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    Liz just wanted to send you a hug as it sounds like you need one. You've had some great advice off people, so I hope the dr can help you out. (((((((((((((((Liz)))))))))))))))
     
  13. faithandcooper

    faithandcooper Full Member

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    Perhaps a change of medication is what you need, maybe something that doesnt effect your sex drive. Before when i was anxious and worried all the time i had no sex drive at all....now i feel better i have much more energy :)
     
  14. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Thanks Shopaholic :)
    Faith - The thing is I've found most have some effect to a certain degree :( will see what the dr advises though. Thanks again hun x
     
  15. broxi

    broxi ButtErFly

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    Hi Liz, Depression is a terrible thing. I get it mildly but I had it once really bad, for no reason, and I could hardly lift my head in the morning. Horrible, horrible. Anyway, if I've a headache, I take a paracetamol, when I'd cancer, I got it treated so I suggest you get meds as they help. My hubbie also has suffered from severe depression and he upped his citalopram to 40mg and got CBT which helped him loads. It completely changed his all or nothing fatalsitic thinking. Now when I see him about to do that I can visibly see him shift his thinking and it has made him a different person. Anyway, I hope you are ok but doctors know about these things. Good luck xxx
     
  16. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Thanks for taking the time to respond Broxi :)
     
  17. Witchy

    Witchy ButtERfly

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    There is some really good advice going on here, just wanted to send you a cuddle not spoken in ages xxx
     
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  19. lisalulu

    lisalulu Silver Member

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    Hi Watergirl. First things first, a big hug and a massive well done, I would imagine it took some real guts to start this thread.

    I suffered from post-natal depression after the birth of my eldest, and anti-natal depression during my second pregnancy. Since then, I've had a few bouts of mild depression which generally coincide with difficult personal circumstances. I took varying strengths of Citalopram and it worked wonders for me. If you believe your depression is a chemical imbalance, then SSRI's would definately seem the way to go for you. Like you, I have never gained anything through therapy, I guess we all vary so much.

    I do believe CD heightens our emotions, I have wondered during various 'low' points in the diet whether the depression is creeping back. But then I have a few really good days and I know I'm okay. If, as you say, you have been feeling bad for a few weeks, then I guess it would be time to speak to your GP about it. Is your GP supportive of you? I got through appointments with nearly every GP in the surgery before finding one who was willing to listen to me properly. I'm sure if you explain that CD is the one thing you have control over at the minute, the one thing that gives you drive, then they'll be happy to let you continue under close supervision.

    You sound very lucky to have such a supportive BF and Dad, keep talking to them and defo go see the doctor. And as for the sex drive, I wouldn't worry about it for now, just get yourself better. If you're anything like me when I'm low, sex is the last thing on my mind anyway. I'm sure that wonderful BF of yours will understand. If you ever want to talk, scream, shout or rant, shoot me a PM hun. Good luck with the doctor x
     
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  20. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    Thanks Witchy - think we've both been away for a little while - nice to see you around again!

    Thanks Lisa. So true about having a good day and forgetting the bad days. Today was better, as car is sorted out now and felt good at yoga.

    Thing is that when you have a really good day you don't feel like going to the dr and when you have a really bad it's hard to build up the impetus to actually go. Bit of a catch 22.

    Think I'll monitor my mood over the coming days. Sorry to hear about your bouts of depression. I often think post-natal must be the worst kind, so it's good that you got through it :) Appreciate the offer to PM and might take you up on that at some point. xx
     
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