(OT) Raging and want to cry

Awww hone, hope things are running a little more smoothly. It's so annoying that there's always someone who's not happy with the plans but it is your day and no one else really matters. I also dramas with my wedding but at the end of the day I wouldn't change my special day as I got to marry my wonderful OH. You will look stunning on your day and your partner will be so proud to call you his wife. Good luck with the plans xxxxxx
 
Hi Sticky, like many others your thread has brought back a lot of memories. One I can wholly sympathise with is the dress situation - ever since I was little I really wanted a wedding dress with the corset laces at the bag, you know, the ribbons. Well, my mother chose the exact moment whilst I was trying on the Maggie Sottero I had been dreaming off for a year to announce that she 'doesn't like dresses with ribbons at the back'. Thanks a lot Mother! As a result I ended up wearing one with a zip as I just couldn't feel comfortable in something I knew my mum didn't like. So, what I would say to you with regards to the dress would be to take your mum back to the shop, try it on again and really have a good heart to heart about it. You may well find that either you or your mum feels differently about it. I'd want to do that just to get it all straight in my own mind. I see that your location is Ipswich, there are some lovely shops there including the grace and lace, with an excellent Maggie Sottero section (I am a massive fan of this designer despite not getting one myself). There are also some nice shops in Chelmsford and Colchester. It really is worth a damn good shop round before making that final decision, especially as your date is relatively far away.

As for the sister situation, as someone else said it is probably to your own advantage that she is so far away, she sounds pretty immature despite her years, and you are right to make your own date and your own plans according to what you want. Blood is thicker than water, if that was me living in Australia and money was tight, I'd rather cancel coming to a friend's wedding and put the money aside for my sister's wedding. The fact that she hasn't offered to do this, or even perhaps ask for a loan from your parents, and instead is choosing to pressurise and bully you (especially via the extremely childish medium of facebook!!) just says to me that even though she is your sister she seems to care a lot more about herself, and making her friend's wedding, it just isn't worth the stress to you if she is going to take this line. 2011 is a long way away and you don't need this hanging over you for the next 18 months, tell her that if it is her decision not to come, then there's nothing you can do to change her mind, and that you want to draw a line underneah it. Then leave it to her and her conscience. By taking this line you've removed a bit of the stress in to her corner and I'm sure she'll work things out in her own mind. The important person here is you and your OH, and you will have so much more to think, worry and stress over than some childish little girl thousands of miles away stomping her spoilt little foot.

Try and keep sane :) xxx
 
Hey babes, sorry I missed this post 3 weeks ago, I would have been there with the hugs and cuddles. Hope things have settled down now and you are feeling more your old self. Weddings are a nightmare ducks and it comes down to the old saying , you cann't please all of the people all of the time and when you know you are going to be in this situation and every wedding falls into this situation, you just have to please yourselves honey. Its your day and your memories, have what you want, when you want it and how you want it. Don't worry about anybody else, they will get over it or not as the case maybe, but its not your problem. Guests are invited to come and join in the celebrations, not invited to run the show. Just remember hun, you aren't the first bride to be to be going through this and you certainly won't be the last. Its parr for the course with weddings lol.
 
Aww thanks to the new posts - I missed them 2 days ago and just saw them now.

Luckily things are MUCH better now - and yes, I am happy about it again!

The sister thing dragged on a few days longer with her not contacting me at all. In the end I sent her an email basically saying 'look, I know you have an issue with the date but I'd rather you just say so than ignore me'. She replied and admitted she was 'dissapointed' with the date choice because it is going to cost them more money, and more time off work and two across the world trips (her hubby hates to fly). She also threw in that our gift would be much less than it could have been because of this. I replied and said that first of all, we're not marrying to get a bunch of pressies, and her being there was gift enough. I also (gently) reminded her that their wedding was 100% paid for by both sets of parents whereas we're paying for the majority of it ourselves. I explained that the flat sale was costing us a lot of our savings and that as a result, putting it back helped us financially and this meant we could have the wedding we wanted, and not one that we could afford by then to suit her calendar. She called my other sister a few days later, and by the sounds of it had a whinge, but our other sister (oldest) sided with me by the sounds of it and though she never replied, she's been her old self again. So, though it stung that she could be so selfish about it, it's sorted and we can move on :)

The dress...oooooo the dress! *squeals*. I actually bought it on Saturday! The one I like too. I went in alone to start with, with some friends meeting me 15minutes later. I wanted to try it one alone after last time. First of all, where it didn't fit me last time, it did this time (woo) and I just stood and looked at myself for ages. The woman at the shop said I looked less happy and asked if it was because of Mum last time (so it must have been noticable if she remembered lol) and I said yes. she said what you all did - it was MY dress and MY choice. She laughed and said it was one of the few things that was JUST my choice in a wedding. I put something else on and my friends arrived, so I showed them a few gowns and then came out in The One. They all loved it (I didn't tell them it was the one I loved either, so it was a real genuine reaction). My sister popped in too and nearly cried, so I knew it was definately right. And bought it! It's the first ever I have looked in a mirror and thought, 'wow, I look beautiful'. I actually had tears when she put a veil and tiara on too. I'm such a sap. It's really flattering because of the biase style of the bodice bit and it's all boned like a corset. It's taffeta silk and feels lush but also light which is good as it might be hot on the day. I think wedding gowns should be comulsary work wear as they're so slimming!

The venue is booked fully now - had a letter of confirmation last week after we paid the deposit. So it's all set. May 7th 2011, The Hub, Edinburgh, wearing my stunning Benjamin Roberts gown and marrying the man of my dreams. I am one lucky girl to have him too :D

Thanks for all your kind words - and glad that it's not just me! Well, not glad you've all suffered it too, but glad it's not being overly sensitive if you know what I mean!

xoxox
 
So glad the story has improved from the beginning.
The dress is lovely hun and i'm sure you'll look stunning in it.
XXX
 
OMG Sticky, the dress is absolutely beautifull, such gorgeous detail in it. I can imagine how beautifull you must look and no wonder you had tears.

As for compulsary work wear, yep, I can see me floating round Asda in something similar pushing my trolly lol. It certainly would be very flattering and turn heads.

Wonderfull that everything has now been sorted, so just sit back and relax now babes and await the big day. Love to you xxx
 
Thanks everyone. I do love the dress very muchly. Just got a long wait to wear it now lol.

*happy bunny*
 
That is a beautiful dress you are going to look stunning. Glad everything else seems to be working out to.

As for workwear - it would certainly make going up and down three flights of stairs several times a day quite entertaining.
 
Hi Sticky, so glad you got the sister thing sorted, and got the chance to get a few home-truths in there as well, its only right that you should stick up for yourself after such childish behaviour.

As for the dress, WOW! Really lovely, the side detail and the pulled in bum detail (I'm so technical!) are really in fashion at the moment, and really help to pull you in. I'd be stuck if I was getting married now, as there are so many of these slim a-line styles that mainly suit people taller than me, when I got married 4 years ago it was still all strapless big skirts in style, now it seems to be this more fitted style with the side details, in fact my best friend, who is getting married in April 2011, has chosen a very similar style although hers is strapless.

Very pleased for you that you managed to get a lot sorted, and your dress is gorgeous, you will look lovely xx
 
Aww thanks everyone :)

I do love the dress and it is flattering because it's boned and well designed. The bridesmaids gowns I am getting (I think) will match as the neckline is similar (scoop type). Going for sapphire blue matt satin dresses in a tea length style. Simple but elegant.

You're all lovely xxx
 
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Love the idea of sapphire blue, unfortunately my best friend has chosen to take our childhood love of pink to the extreme and is having pink bridesmaid dresses, I say this is unfortunate as I'm very blonde (literally and metaphorically) and very pale, plus a lot bigger than her and her sister, and so pink isn't really my colour. One of my main aims with SW though is for the wedding, as my best friend is a very willowy size 10 and her sister is a slim but curvy size 8-10, so you can see how I will be the odd one out if I don't seriously sort myself out! There's only two bridesmaids so its not as if I have a group of 6 or so to hide myself in, or have a slightly more flattering style of dress. It wil have to be the same as her sister's or it will look daft, so it really is a mega aim of mine to be a comfortable size 12.

2011 isn't that far away when it comes to weddings!
 
Love the idea of sapphire blue, unfortunately my best friend has chosen to take our childhood love of pink to the extreme and is having pink bridesmaid dresses, I say this is unfortunate as I'm very blonde (literally and metaphorically) and very pale, plus a lot bigger than her and her sister, and so pink isn't really my colour. One of my main aims with SW though is for the wedding, as my best friend is a very willowy size 10 and her sister is a slim but curvy size 8-10, so you can see how I will be the odd one out if I don't seriously sort myself out! There's only two bridesmaids so its not as if I have a group of 6 or so to hide myself in, or have a slightly more flattering style of dress. It wil have to be the same as her sister's or it will look daft, so it really is a mega aim of mine to be a comfortable size 12.

2011 isn't that far away when it comes to weddings!

Awww thanks Kirstin :)

I am sure you're being hard on yourself, like most of us tend to be honey. What kind of pink are we talking? Hot pink? Baby pink? I love pink as a colour, but being a red head it's not one I tend to go for in clothes - it washes me out.

I am sure she'll get you dresses that flatter you both - if she's like me she will! I want my girls to look amazing and feel amazing so they have as good as day as me - so hopefully it'll work out? And it's a great reason to lose the weight and keep you going :)

I love sapphire blue and want to wear sapphire earrings and bracelet (well, probs fakes but that colour lol). I think I can get away with the flash of colour and I'm having thistles in my bouquet so it should all compliment each other. The girls will wear soft silver shoes and jewelry.

I know what you mean about matching - at first I was going to let them have different gowns in same colour as all different shapes and sizes, but decided that the 3 BMs will wear same and MOH will wear same dress in full length version. I'm HOPING it suits them all, otherwise the hunt remains. lol

YAY for weddings.
 
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