Pathetic but i can't help it!- what do i do?

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by Littleslimmingbee, 25 February 2010 Social URL.

  1. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Eurgh!

    when i had to leave school at 14 and go to college, there was only one girl i stayed in contact with, she's always been a big girl and in my heart i had known since primary that she could pick and choose her moments, depending on how popular she was at any given moment,

    anywho, after a while she seemed to start getting in with the group i was friends with at school, and 6 months later she completely screwed me over and turned into a complete *****, making my life absoloute hell, along with the other girls.



    anywho, she's only gone and joined my class. . i cant actually stand to be in the same room as her. Last time i saw her, about 6 months ago.. she had popped into my class to WI as she'd joined a tuesday class.. i heard not long after that she'd told someone she saw me there and it looked like i'd lost nothing and looked awful (depsite gaining my 3stone award that perticular night) .. i also heard she'd quit not long after also so didnt think i'd see her again. Anywho she's back,


    and as pathetic as it is, and i know, iv lost all my weight and i look and feel amazing, but i love my group, and my consultant, but i actually cannot stand to be in the same room as her, as soon as i see her, i instantly get angry and tense and cannot think about anything else than throwing my fist her way :) - i know this is awfully childish, and being 4 years ago i should let it go, and there are not many people i feel this way about at all, and i am ashamed of myself.. but she really really hurt me.



    if she starts staying to class (she shot off after wi'ing last week) .. i need to know what i can do to calm myself, .. not only that but i often share my feelings with my group as iv been there so long, and will no longer feel comfortable to do this at all.



    :confused: am i just being rediculous?
     
    Last edited: 25 February 2010
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  3. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    hun u r so much better than her and u need to remember this. she saying nasty things because of her issues not yours shes the one with the problem hun not u let her get on with it cause while ever shes moaning at u u r bugging her which is a good thing cause it means u r giving her cause to be jealous.
    don't let her force u out the group hun cause then shes won use this as a positive thing to give u motivation to beat her u r at target thats amazing she has right to be jealous of u but thats her problem not yours u can't change the past or what she thinks about u so theres no point trying enjoy your life.
     
  4. sham88

    sham88 free2bme

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    shes sounds like a d*ck i wouldnt let her bother you one bit, its clearly a jealousy thing and you dont need people like that in your life.
     
  5. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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    I don't know what to advise. I know what I'd do BUT I also remember being your age and how much more difficult things were as I didn't grow a thick skin until much later.

    I hope you manage to decide what you want to do but remember, if you do stay to class and she's there, your consultant will be saying 'And Fern, you've lost 4.5 stone'. Doesn't matter what that other 'person' says or does, you've done it and look stunning for it x
     
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  6. Devon Dolce

    Devon Dolce 1lb at a time!

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    Go to class, hold you head up high, be proud of the weight you've lost. Bullies can only operate if they think they've 'won' - don't let her. Sit with your friends, peeps in class and ignore her hun! Get to class a bit earlier if you can, weigh, get a coffee and then get a seat with the lovely peeps in your class and show strength in your confidence and ability to rise above her xxx
     
  7. Laddiesboy

    Laddiesboy I ♥ Slimming World :)

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    Hit her. Hard. You'll love it. She deserves it. I'm sure she knows it too.

    And it will be Body Magic :)
     
  8. Meli

    Meli Gold Member

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    Agree with all the comments above, except the hitting one ;)

    Don't go down to her level and just stay for class and try to ignore her. Most bullies are very self-concious and jealous and just get their high by picking on others.

    Be proud of your achievements!
     
  9. magic

    magic Full Member

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    Maybe just maybe you could be incredibly nice to her and offer to help her on her weightloss journey. Tell her you have been incredibly successful and know how hard it is for younger people in SW to feel comfortable but that you will be there all the way for her. That if she need any help, as a very successful slimmer and a similar age she should come to you.

    This will make her feel incredibly uncomfortable or really happy. Kindness is far harsher than rudeness. Kindness always makes people feel incredibly uncomfortable. And then if she does start talking horribly you can play the injured angel.

    She might feel really happy because you have forgiven her. Obviously she made your life hell but she might feel pretty badly about that. She sounds like she has serious self esteem issues and you could help a girl who really feels bad about herself.

    I am not saying you need to be friends, and nor would you want to be, but you are the stronger person in this scenario and you should show your strength.

    I am not saying you need to follow this suggestion, just you should have a variety to choose from :).
     
  10. mommyB

    mommyB love it

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    If her history is anything to go by it wont be a problem for long, she wont stick at it and wont be at class anymore.

    If she does then i would speak to her if she speaks to me first but otherwise carry on as you normally would as if she wasnt there
     
  11. avisk

    avisk xx

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    I had a similar (though not so bad) problem when I turned up at class one evening and found a woman there who I just cannot stand. She loathes me too. She is a loud-mouthed bully and doesn't like me because I stand up to her.

    I just nodded hello when I saw her, and sat as far away from her as possible. Luckily, after the first week, she didn't stay to class and was usually gone by the time I arrived. Then she gave up altogether. I was so relieved, not just for myself but for the consultant and the other members, because I know from experience that a class can be really disrupted by one nasty person.

    Is there a friend in your class who you trust, and you can confide in? Then, if this person does stay to your class, there will be someone who will know how you are feeling and can sit with you and distract you.

    Can you try to think of this as an opportunity, rather than as a threat? I know that is easier said than done, believe me, but think what an achievement it will be for you (to add to all your other achievements) if you can rise above this.

    Tell yourself that she no longer has any power over you. You are better, you are stronger.
     
  12. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Hey guys,
    Thanks for all the advise, luckily my bestest bestest wifey comes to class with me and knows the history with this girl.. so thats nice to have that comfort.

    I suppose part of me feels like its 'my group' and although thats rediculous, i dont want to share it with someone like that!! - as awful as i sound and feel for saying it, i hope she doesnt stay, or takes the initiative and moves to another group.



    and to make it worse.. iv just found my hamster dead! :( its mine and joes first pet, gutted!!!



    thanks for all your advise guys, im just gunna have to get on with it... and if all else fails.. just hit her and get it out of my system! Hahah


    xxx
     
  13. HellieCopter

    HellieCopter Gold Member

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    boooo poor hamster :(

    You sound a bit better about it now hun, which is good. You've had some ace advice. Not much for me to add! Anyone who knows you can see from a mile away how much weight you've lost and how fab you look. That *****y comment she made was pure jealousy. Stick with it, be polite and I agree with the 'kill with kindness' thing - it will make her SO uncomfortable and totally put you in a postition of power, being the bigger person about it all. She'll blatantly know how awfully she treated you in the past and you being nice will really throw her! If you can bear to do it without slapping the *****! LOL!
     
  14. avisk

    avisk xx

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    If you do lose it and slap her, we'll come round and bail you out!!
     
  15. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    I'd appreciate that! :D


    thanks guys!
     
  16. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

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    Just remember, we have to have people like this round us , so that we can feel SUPERIOR!
     
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