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please be the last time!!

I wasnt going to start a diary for the millionth cambridge attempt, as i feel foolish when i fail - but then i feel completely different this time! I am a stone lighter than the last effort on the diet and it seems to make so much difference, i feel i am a stone closer than i was before, and knowing i could be where i want to be as early as the start of next month makes the world of difference!

On 01/10/2010 i joined up for weight watchers and did it for 9 weeks, at my last weigh in i was 12st 2 on there scales (before xmas). My first meeting with CDC after xmas and new year she weighed me at 12st 1 & 3/4lbs. I was happy with this and had enjoyed xmas!

So after a few things getting in the way, i finally started on tues this week! My own scales said 12st 1lb and now on day 4 my scales are weighing me at 11st 5lbs!!! I know this is water etc and all the food coming out of my body (i had some huge meals in the run up) but if i continue i will never see a weight bigger than that again! i keep telling myself that any weight i lose from now on will be fat as surely all the water and stuff (sorry not very technical) has gone.

I have just tried on a pre 2nd baby dress and it fit me!! i am gobsmacked to say the least but so giddy and excited! I have the feeling you get when you've been drinking red bull on an empty tummy!

So this was my reason for writing things down again, so i can look back and remember how good this feels! The fact that i can already see myself shrinking is a big plus, (i know im not shrinking from the CD yet, its the general loss) but i know that its only gonna keep getting better with CD!!

So im on day 4 now... no cheats - day one i dont know what happened, i had a chicken satay stick and 4 haribo milkshakes sweets... no reason really but havent done anything like that since!

Felt amazing so far, havent had a bad headache, i felt a bit woozy and sickly last night and looked like death but hopefully thats the worst of it over with now! Hope so anyway i could do with the euphoric feeling over the weekend really! Id like to say thats the hard part but this time i dont feel that way! I need to get my head round that this is a short journey and if i keep it up it will be over in no time!

Hope everyones having a good day... just hope this feeling lasts!
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Can someone please re assure me that im not gonna keel over lol, my lips are blue?! iv not noticed this side effect before! im not overly cold even though my nose end is freezing! It seriously looks like iv got blue lippy on!


Stubborn tortoise
Yikes, are you sure it's not just cold? Been so freeezing here my fingers practically have icicles typing. Hope you are OK. Found your first post so inspiring, that's a great loss and it can't all be water. Stay strong - and warm!

well i feel ok as usual and iv been colder but i do have a cold nose, feets and hands! perhaps it is just because im a bit more sensitive to the cold, havent got dressed today let alone left the house - i say i havent got dressed... does trying on half my wardrobe count?!

thanks for your post hun xx
Hot water bottle and dressing gown usually does the trick for me. Oh! and thick walking socks! Er! Ok that's attire in the spring let alone this time of year! Keeping posting! You'll do it again! I am so, so determined this time too! Just have to take hour by hour at the difficult times.
thank u lovely! i need to do it, never made it past day 6 or 7 before but iv whinged my way through 2010 about been fat and how low its made me feel so i HAVE to do it this time, other wise il waste another year waddling around with a face like a wet weekend - when in reality i have everything i could ever ask for and should be smiling for england
xxx good luck huni
Had to escape to the bedroom cos the smell of onion rings is crippling me let alone watching someone else eat them.... im not hungry they just smell amazing! poor little family, dont wanna sit downstairs sulking and making them feel guilty for eating their tea, not their fault i let myself get fat again!

day 5 is almost over and done with.... day 4 seemed like a slog to get to, but now its day 5 its more or less a week done with! tomoro i just need to overcome then it will be weigh in day! last night was fine didnt really feel any different, just had a long soak again followed by a bit of my fave perfumes body gel and it made me feel loads better!

today, i have somehow got through, OH and mini me #1 got sausage rolls from greggs and some other goodies and ate them in the car, which was tough but nothing to the extent where i felt i was missing out and my world was crumbling in! its not forever - il be able to have all these things in a few months again and they'll taste so much more amazing because my size 10's will fit and the guilt wont be there!

and then we went to the pub for the football and it ended up been really busy and quite sociable, i was surprised but no one actually mentioned or asked about why i drank 3 x 1/2 pints of water... which im relieved about, it was made easier cos one of my friends was in the car and i know if she hadnt of been, and had been nattering to get a bottle of wine it would have made the situation a lot more difficult.

had my 2nd bar of the week today and i really dont think i like them, its not as pleasant as a shake so will take the rest back to swap - plus after not eating for a few days the hard texture really made my mouth hurt to chew it - my jaw and the roof!

so thats me for the day, 1 last shake to have, a bit more water and snuggling up on the sofa watching desperados beg for a date - no likey, no lighty!!

hope everyone is having an easy weekend and not struggling too much


Stubborn tortoise
Glad you've had a good day, well done for resisting the temptations... Saturdays are full of them!!! I've had a quiet day, work and shakes and a walk with dog in the snow for an hour... it took my mind off Cd for a bit and topped up the energy levels! Lying low now while OH & son scoff pizza and chips... don't want any but safer to stay out of the way. I like the idea of the pamper bath as a reward... might try that later, I have some fab body cream that I love, the smell always puts me in a good mood.

Have a great evening hun.

yeah im the same too but would rather not torture myself if i CAN get out of the way of food, its amazing how quick its gone, and tomoro will be the same, i need to find something to do during weekdays, if it was nicer weather id go for a nice long walk but its not and my day absolutely drags, i clock watch right up until 5.30pm.... that is such a long time! i think if i could do something it would make this diet so much easier... i work from home so never far from the kitchen.

the baths just seem to pass an hour in no time, then some moisturiser on, so nice skin too and another half an hour gone, then downstairs, half a nytol then bed, the quicker i can get each day over with the better for this first week!

glad your having a good day too so far, will be monday soon and a sparkly new week


Stubborn tortoise
I work from home too, it's a MAJOR risk factor for me... when I work away (I travel a lot at times for my job) I am always perfectly behaved, but at home I reach for the chocolate/ etc to get me through the day. That is going to change! Liking the idea of a sparkly Monday!

Hello :) Sounds like you're doing well so far. Was going to watch to footy at the pub too but I didn't want to be tempted haha.
Where abouts in Leeds are you from? I live in Leeds too.
Well done for not being tempted! im only on day 4 and have not picked at anything which im very pleased about. the hardest is cooking for my daughter and OH but never mind like u say its not forever......just a few months :)
katycakes i know what you mean, i think its just because its there, that makes you want it, its just so easy to get to! if the weather wasnt so rubbish id go for lovely long walks with the pushchair but its horrid out, and where i live the walks arent too pleasant as its quite hilly! hope you've had a good sunday xx

felix - you did goo avoiding the pub! they even had food at half time in ours, and im happy to say the stew smelt like dog food, so i didnt crumble, n the water was pretty refreshing too, think its cos i o.d'd on malibu n diet coke over xmas and it makes my mouth feel mucky all cloggy - eurgh! and im not really in leeds but its the closest city - we're in wakefield :) xxx

kellymarie hopefully you are well and truly into day 5 now too - im not struggling today but i could just eat a crunchy salad, its just the desire to eat, a habit of the past 25 years, and i adore food (bit obvious coming from a chubber) but not long left :) i avoided the in laws today where the sunday dinner would be, i feel a bit unsociable but iv got some work done with no mad house so win/win i suppose :)

hope everyones coping ok - last day of the weekend then a new week
i can see myself slimmer....
my older clothes fit me again... (im a while from my slimmest clothes mind)
i cant feel as much of a double chin when i am looking down
im not hungry....

all this is a perfect situation BUT why doesnt it curb the desire to eat?! its just crazy! then on the other hand, i have a feeling my CDC will put me on to 810 tomoro which i am also dreading because i dont actually want to be given permission to eat! what a mind messer-er!
depending on her scales and how she is - i might get another sole source week out but im pretty sure im at Bmi + a stone.

Its a scary prospect going on to 810 as i've only had a week to keep away from food and i just dont want to be let loose with food again (well, chicken and cucumber) because i fear the old mind set of 'oh one more bit of chicken wont hurt... which then turns into, surely this sausage wont do any harm... thats where the damage starts!

I know i know its all in the mind, and i do know im going to lose weight this time, im in the right place... suppose will just have to see how tomoro goes and then take it step by step from there :)

i keep dreaming that i've cheated, with jelly sweeties that are odd shapes?! how bizarre... i get the guilt feelings in my dream too, even my sub conscious knows when its been naughty!

happy sunday night everyone xx


Stubborn tortoise
You're doing great Blondie... know what you mean about the worries about food, though. You want to eat, but you don't - arghhh!!! I am not hungry anymore but my head still tells me I want to eat. And yet I'm anxious about moving up to 810 when the time comes - not that I'm anywhere near yet!

Have a fab evening! When do you see your CDC?

im exactly the same, at least we can take comfort in the fact most people doing the diet might feel anxious like this at some point or another, seeing her tomoro evening at 6.30pm
wow... what a rollercoaster! woke up this morning, knowing it was day 7 and i was absolutely starving, sulking and just miserable! i've never made it this far... or never made it this far with the intention of going any further. came downstairs and got the girls sorted with breakfast and got some water down me and then a mint shake and now i feel absolutely amazing - on top of the world id say!

i think i just needed to realign my head with another week of the diet, pull myself together and get to grips with the fact that its a good thing, as soon as i did this everything seemed to change!

its funny.... when im on the fastest bus to where i want to be, slim happy and healthy again, all i can think about is food and what id like to have....
when im on the quickest path to getting fatter and fatter and eating all the time, all i think about is been slim and how guilty i feel!! i just have to keep remembering that, all those foods im stuffing into a fatter face, wont make me happier! been in the 10's again.. then ultimately the 9's.. well, nothing feels like that!

my weighers grinned at me this morning with a 11st 2lb reading... its not official weigh in til tonight but still... this time last week, in fact this time last tuesday i weighed 12st 2lbs on my scales! id had some whopping meals though as was hovering around 11st 11lbs before these meals, so there was a bit of bulk that easily disappeared.

im gonna be a couple of lb's heavier tonight due to water plus cdc scales are a couple heavier too so all in all i think il be looking at around 7lbs official weight loss! not taking away the achievement of my scales though first thing in the morning - i have a feeling come friday or saturday il be seeing the 10's!!! maybe even if i get put on to 810 too? who knows! its gonna be exciting to find out though!

hope everyones having a good day, mon - fri always flies by


Stubborn tortoise
Even if it's not official (yet!) that is an AWESOME loss... must be a real motivator! Don't worry too much about the water, I always go by the first thing in morning weight because even if it doesn't tally with CDC version you know you are going in the right direction! You've made a fantastic start, keep going!


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