Poppygreendog's 12 week SS no cheating diary

P

poppygreendog

Silver Member
Day 2

Hello everyone

I've been on CWP so many times I've lost count. Something kicks you up the butt and for me it was seeing my daughter-in-law's facebook status 2 weeks ago that said 'happy 5th wedding anniversary to my gorgeous husband' - essentially what that means is that I been friggin around with CWP including 1 go at LL for 5 and a half years, I was devastated, gutted, disgusted in myself and most of all ashamed.

So, this WILL be my last journey, I WILL complete the journey and I will work back up the plans to ensure that I never have to do this again! I've written a list of all the reasons why I want this, I'm old enough to know that weight loss doesn't make you a happy person and I know that I need to look inside myself and deal with the issues I have with food, hopefully 12 weeks of SS with no cheating will give me that time.

So a week ago I went to my long suffering CDC (poor woman) who despite all my messing has remained completely supportive. I told her I wouldn't start until after the bank holiday, my last binge I suppose and we had a long standing bbq planned (I know another excuse but...) I intended to go back to basics so ordered a range of products including porridge :yuk: what is that stuff and came home.

Started yesterday and it went something like this:

brekkie - porridge pecan variety - yuk
lunch - choc tetra (my mainstay) - yum
tea - fruits of the forest shake - yuk

hmmn I thought not good - but hey I thought how bad could the original porridge be!

Day 2 - today has gone something like this:

Brekkie - original porridge - yuk! yuk yuk yuk!!!!

(quick text to CDC to see if I could swap everything I'd ordered for the beloved choc tetra - appointment made for 7pm this evening).

Lunch - lovely tetra
tea - lovely tetra :D

Water is going down a treat and I'm a happy girl, bit of a headache and my mouth already tastes tinny so I'm hopeful for ketosis soon. I'm trying hard to be realistic, I usually have a great loss in the first week and then it drastically slows. I'm ok with that, as long as its moving down its moving in the right direction.

enjoying reading your diaries and hoping to get to know some of you better over the coming weeks.

Bed soon - I work in London live in Kent and am too old for 5am starts without enough sleep.

Night for now.

PGD x
 
Day 3

Hello

It's been a dreadful day so far :(

I'm incredibly busy at work and have had several moments today when things have been so stressful that under normal circumstances I would have been straight down to the canteen for something. In addition I don't think I have ever worked anywhere where there are so many flippin birthday - today there is cake everywhere!

I've found it tough to say no I don't want any without having to explain why so consequently I haven't spoken much today! I'm sure people are pretty grateful though cos most of the time I talk too much :sigh:

On track with the water (3 litres down already) and have had 2 lovely tetras and loads of coffee, thinking back day 3 is never good for me, I've got a stinking headache and generally feel quite down.

Hopefully when I get home I can log on with a better head on.

chow for now

PGD x
 
Go on, PGD - you're going great guns!
 
Hello PGD, thought I'd welcome you here and wish you lots of luck and send positive thoughts your way. As someone who spent the last year before CD eating for most of eastern Europe (and looking like a good chunk of it as well), I know that you can overcome the temptations and stick with it 100%.

I've found this to help me: when I feel like I'm going to cave I tell myself it won't be the end of the world if I do. Then I think really hard about the benefits and the drawbacks of caving - benefit: it will probably be delicious, my mouth will be grateful and so will my tummy, maybe my anxiety will calm down - drawback: what if it isn't totally delicious and I eat it and it wasn't worth the cave? what if I eat it and then I'm even more anxious for eating it? I won't show a loss/I'll have a worse loss for the week, etc.

Then I make my choice based on the facts. I've not had a major cave yet! I did have a minor cave once or twice where I nibbled on some ham and cheese (my absolute food, cheese that is) and all I can say is I was disappointed!

You've almost got day 3 behind you, hang in there and before you know it it'll be a week, and then 2, and you know the drill :D You can do this!
 
Day 4

Morning, morning, morning - I feel good nanananananana - I knew that I would nanananananana, you get the drift:D

Bloody hell what a difference a day makes, I had the best night sleep, no headache, 1 litre down and a yummy tetra drank already, I soooooooo love this diet when it feels like this.

Got loads on today and just about to go into a project board meeting so will be adding more to my diary after that this morning. Just wanted to share the feel good factor.

Hope your all having the best day!

PGD x:D
 
hey hun! well done for getting to the 3rd... and not caving in before!! you'll do it! where abouts in kent are you?? i also live in kent.. margate, but am from dartford!
i feel really positive today as well.... it's all gonna be ok! xxx
 
CheeseGirl said:
Hello PGD, thought I'd welcome you here and wish you lots of luck and send positive thoughts your way. As someone who spent the last year before CD eating for most of eastern Europe (and looking like a good chunk of it as well), I know that you can overcome the temptations and stick with it 100%.

I've found this to help me: when I feel like I'm going to cave I tell myself it won't be the end of the world if I do. Then I think really hard about the benefits and the drawbacks of caving - benefit: it will probably be delicious, my mouth will be grateful and so will my tummy, maybe my anxiety will calm down - drawback: what if it isn't totally delicious and I eat it and it wasn't worth the cave? what if I eat it and then I'm even more anxious for eating it? I won't show a loss/I'll have a worse loss for the week, etc.

Then I make my choice based on the facts. I've not had a major cave yet! I did have a minor cave once or twice where I nibbled on some ham and cheese (my absolute food, cheese that is) and all I can say is I was disappointed!

You've almost got day 3 behind you, hang in there and before you know it it'll be a week, and then 2, and you know the drill :D You can do this!
Click to expand...

Thanks - Cheesegirl I know that will come in useful in the future. I managed to get through the pince point so I'm quite pleased with myself!

I think we've got Europe covered then between us lol as I must have covered Western Europe in terms of eating.

Thanks for your support - appreciated!:D

PGD x
 
kirstyc said:
hey hun! well done for getting to the 3rd... and not caving in before!! you'll do it! where abouts in kent are you?? i also live in kent.. margate, but am from dartford!
i feel really positive today as well.... it's all gonna be ok! xxx
Click to expand...

Hi Kirsty - I'm on the sunny Isle of Sheppey, born and bred and love living there. Thank you so much for your support - PGD x:D
 
So pleased that you are still on course!! :D There must be something in the air because I'm on day 10 now and have still not cheated :happy096:
We can do this ;)

Sue
 
Hi Guys

Thanks Sue, I'm definately focused at the moment which is helping.

I'm just about to have my last tetra and I've got a lovely cup of black coffee.

This evening was always going to be tough, my normal friday evening would usually consist of going straight in the pub from getting off the train. I live opposite a pub which is our local and is run by my best friend so it sort of kicks off the weekend. Normally, I would start off with my girls with a couple of jaeger bombs followed by loads of vodka and soda and top it all off with a chicken kebab or something equally unhealthy!

I've been in the pub - had a couple of glasses of soda water and come home, the husband wants to stay out but also wants to stay home to support me - i've sent him back out to the yacht club down the road.

This is always the hardest part for me, food I can deal with not eating, its the booze:boohoo: (are you all crying yet lol)

Anyway onwards and upwards, we've got an allotment so we'll be over there tomorrow harvesting tomorrow, freezing it all and preparing for the winter. The husband is planning to make a batch of hot indian chutney on sunday and i have hours of sky+ to watch so a packed weekend - a booze free packed weekend lol.

See you all tomorrow - have a good one x ;)

PGD x
 
Day 8 - Sorry not been around for 3 days :(

Morning all

So its day 8 already, my first weigh in yesterday and I lost 8lbs :) I'm happy with this in particular as I did SS+ over the weekend ( I'll explain more why in a mo).

I've been so busy over the weekend, Friday night had words with the husband as he wanted to go out (we are very social, live opposite a pub that my best friend runs which makes life without alcohol hard), I stayed at home and basically got more and more miserable as the night went on, he finally rolled home about midnight swinging his chinese which fairly or unfairly resulted in us having words. I know it was unfair and I know he's not on the diet but.....

Saturday loomed, my husband with a hang-over and me feeling sorry for myself, went to my local Scope shop where I volunteer on saturdays and my husband went over the allotment. Stuck to my 2 shakes and had 2 litres of water but by 4pm had convinced myself that the best thing to do was to eat a bit of chicken. So I did, didn't feel guilty and enjoyed it. Went out on Saturday night as I figured I'd made the wrong choice staying in, in reality I know I won't be able to do that for 12 weeks so... , I think having the chicken helped as because I wasn't hungry or thinking of food was quite happy to stick to soda water all night.

Sunday was a lovely day, spent the whole day in the kitchen with my lovely husband making home-made pasta sauce (from 12.5lbs of tomatoes from our allotment) and hot indian chutney and a curry, all of which I wasn't tempted to touch (hooray). Had a lovely piece of chicken with some spices on, 3 packs and 3 litres.

Yesterday - Monday, woke up with a throat like sandpaper! Felt too poorly to go to work and so had a day at home on the sofa with Sky + (lovely), stuck to plan, 3 packs and a piece of chicken in the evening. Weighed in with CDC and I'm overall happy with the result.

It's my intention to SS for the rest of the week and at the weekend have a SS+ meal if I feel I need one. Lets see how that goes.

Hope everyone has had a good couple of days, I'll be catching up with everyone's diaries over the next couple of hours.

Have a great day - PGD x
 
Hiya, your attitude is great - that's the way to go with this diet! Personally I think that it's because you don't feel guilty about what you eat that keeps you from having a complete blowout (plus the fact that when you choose wisely you really can't even feel guilty)! Keep up the good work :) (and I'm sure your husband means well but he's a MAN after all :))
 
CheeseGirl said:
Hiya, your attitude is great - that's the way to go with this diet! Personally I think that it's because you don't feel guilty about what you eat that keeps you from having a complete blowout (plus the fact that when you choose wisely you really can't even feel guilty)! Keep up the good work :) (and I'm sure your husband means well but he's a MAN after all :))
Click to expand...

aww thanks hun - yes I know he's a man and I kept reminding myself, I was just a bit upset cos he'd spent all week telling me how he would support me which quickly changed to "I'm not on a diet" the more he had to drink! We are laughing about it now and I'm trying not to be so uptight which is getting easier by the day to be honest. Thanks for your support :D
 
i think he's lucky you didn't kill him!

i know he's not on a diet and drink does make men even less sensitive but when it's early days for you he needs to make some effort to not rub it in your face, whether accidentally or not.

as time goes on you'll find it easier to cope with other people's food and drink and i'd agree that you're better off going out but not drinking than staying at home feeling left out. although drunk people do get annoying when you're sober, and you might find yourself happily leaving early anyway!
 
Mine is happy that I'm shedding the lbs but it can't interfere with his stomach - i.e. you'd better not stop cooking :)

And yes, it really does get easier to cope with other peoples' food and drink (but to me the drink is harder :)). I've become almost immune to it, except for the odd pizza or other take away
 
CheeseGirl said:
Mine is happy that I'm shedding the lbs but it can't interfere with his stomach - i.e. you'd better not stop cooking :)

And yes, it really does get easier to cope with other peoples' food and drink (but to me the drink is harder :)). I've become almost immune to it, except for the odd pizza or other take away
Click to expand...


My husband does most of the cooking - but I've always wondered about this - what would happen if you just refused to cook for him? I mean - my mum cooked for my dad but if she went away on a course or wasn't feeling well, he fended for himself (and cooked for us kids, as it goes). tbf principally a diet of sausage sandwiches and stuff from the freezer - fishfingers, pies, chicken kievs... all with beans or peas and instant mash, so hardly gourmet dining - but... how do other blokes get away with it?

If my husband said he wasn't going to cook for me anymore i'd just have to crack on... i mean, it's more than my turn by now.
 
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