Pregnancy and Baby Advice Thread: From Conception to Birth, and Beyond!

[Nellylou]

Happy birthday for tmrw Susie hope you feel better by then.

Lol, thanks for all the reassurance girls she was happy so that's the main thing isn't it - got to admit I'm pretty excited about it as she never usually gives me a minutes peace when she's awake bless her! xx

 

[sarah_lou1981]

Happy Birthday for tomorrow Susie. Hope you feel better xx

 

[slimming-girl]

Happy birthday for tomorrow xx

 

[JoeyJoJo]

Re episiotomy scar..mine still feels a little tender. Not so much that I notice too much but it does feel a bit tender when we dtd for sure. Apparently sometimes it can be tender for quite a while...I dont really have any pain.

its hard to know whats normal 'down there' now as its all changed so much lol

 

[shenzi]

Happy birthday for tomorrow Susie xx

 

[Cai]

Re episiotomy scar..mine still feels a little tender. Not so much that I notice too much but it does feel a bit tender when we dtd for sure. Apparently sometimes it can be tender for quite a while...I dont really have any pain. its hard to know whats normal 'down there' now as its all changed so much lol

Totally agree!!

Stevie is 6 months old now (officially yesterday) and sometimes it itches, sometimes feels like it's pulling, sometimes feels like it's shrivelling....
What was normal is def not there now...maybe this is my new normal!! Lol x

 

[TIGGER41]

Hello Cai,

My son is almost 18 months old now and I still suffer with discomfort from my episiotomy scar. Think it's because I've got a bad scar due to it bursting open on me.
Particularly before my period I feel achy and bruised. Sometimes it stings and just feels sore.
I've realised now that it is something I'm going to have to just live with.
I went to see a gynaecologists and have been offered a fentons procedure where the scar is cut out and restiched. I would really like another baby so that is not an option I am going to look into at the moment.
You should definitely see your GP tho and get them to take a look for you. That's what I did. They can decide then if things are looking ok. X

 

[Cai]

Hello Cai, My son is almost 18 months old now and I still suffer with discomfort from my episiotomy scar. Think it's because I've got a bad scar due to it bursting open on me. Particularly before my period I feel achy and bruised. Sometimes it stings and just feels sore. I've realised now that it is something I'm going to have to just live with. I went to see a gynaecologists and have been offered a fentons procedure where the scar is cut out and restiched. I would really like another baby so that is not an option I am going to look into at the moment. You should definitely see your GP tho and get them to take a look for you. That's what I did. They can decide then if things are looking ok. X

Thanks for that! I was starting to think it it got worse with my cycle - I have the depo injection tho so don't 'see' much of a period! Just slight spotting and now the aching!

I personally would like another baby but hubby's not convinced - however if I did have a 2nd I would be asking for a section.
My epi also burst, was badly infected and I've had it re stitched once which again also burst open! With a slight infection!
The upsetting part was some doctors tried to insinuate it was through lack of hygiene!! I was told to (and did) shower 8 times a day!! I was I. Hospital for 2 weeks so they know I did that!!
Anyway, I would be very reluctant to have a V-birth again and def don't want them cutting things!!

I'm thinking some kinda massaging of the scar is needed (just seems a weird thing to do!)

Glad to know I'm not alone tho!! X

 

[TIGGER41]

I was exactly the same. Your experience is exactly like mine. It took 5 months for mine to close up. It ruined my first few months after giving birth. The infections and having to have so many showers a day. That's ridiculous them saying about you hygiene! Bet that person was male and didn't have a clue!!

I'm definitely going to push for a section if I have another baby. My partner is reluctant to have another one too but will try and twist his arm!

Definitely try massage. It does ease a lot with time. I was in agony still at 6 months pp but the pain is more bearable now. X

 

[Susiew2001]

I was exactly the same. Your experience is exactly like mine. It took 5 months for mine to close up. It ruined my first few months after giving birth. The infections and having to have so many showers a day. That's ridiculous them saying about you hygiene! Bet that person was male and didn't have a clue!!

I'm definitely going to push for a section if I have another baby. My partner is reluctant to have another one too but will try and twist his arm!

Definitely try massage. It does ease a lot with time. I was in agony still at 6 months pp but the pain is more bearable now. X

Hi both
Posted this a few days ago but may not have seen it? Anyhow, I had my op as you both might know (?) and things seem a lot better and def look more normal. No more pulling or aching now. I've been told to massage with bio-oil but haven't had chance as yet as TOTM. But she said to me she would def advise a section next time, so there is no risk of damage to the area. So if you're going to have a section anyway and you want an op to make it better/normal, i would advise from personal experience to get it done ASAP. Xxxx

 

[Cai]

Hi both Posted this a few days ago but may not have seen it? Anyhow, I had my op as you both might know (?) and things seem a lot better and def look more normal. No more pulling or aching now. I've been told to massage with bio-oil but haven't had chance as yet as TOTM. But she said to me she would def advise a section next time, so there is no risk of damage to the area. So if you're going to have a section anyway and you want an op to make it better/normal, i would advise from personal experience to get it done ASAP. Xxxx

Interesting. My hospital said they wouldn't operate until 'if had all my children' - when I said I had, they replied with - 'well when u r past child baring age'

How did u manage to get it done now?? How long did it take to heal?? Xx

 

[Susiew2001]

Interesting. My hospital said they wouldn't operate until 'if had all my children' - when I said I had, they replied with - 'well when u r past child baring age'

How did u manage to get it done now?? How long did it take to heal?? Xx

I went to the gp and basically said we can't have sex it hurts what can you do? She had a look and said she felt it needed an op (as the entrance was all wonky-pulled off to the side if you get me). Plus I needed a smear and wanted the coil and she said she couldn't do either as it was. So she referred me to the Hosp where I had Abigail and I saw a consultant there who said it wasn't too bad and she would give me some local anaesthetic cream and it might stretch with use. I also had to see a clinical nurse specialist who gave me some dilators and told me to start small and work up to the bigger ones. I then had to go back in 3 months to see if it had helped.
Well we could do it with the cream but it wasn't exactly exciting as couldn't feel anything and you have to put it on 20mins before! Could use the dilators no problem which she said she thought I would be able to as it wasn't my pelvic floor that was the problem.
Anyhow, went back and said all of that and she used a cotton bud tip to see how tender I was around the area and when she touched the scar and wonky bit at the bottom I nearly hit the roof so she said I had go vestibulodynia (?) which basically is very over active nerve endings. So she got me in for an op and removed the tender skin and bits of the muscle (called a partial vestibulectomy)
Under day surgery. Healed well, took about 4-5weeks totally.
I'm pleased I could have it done now, there wouldn't really have been baby 2 if I hadn't and as I say I need a smear and a coil. I'm a bit sad I can't try for a normal birth next time but that said my experience wasn't great with my pph and ventouse and ridiculously long labour so maybe it's not a bad thing! Benn thinks it's a great plan!
Not everywhere round here does it. She said she was the only one in that Hosp. And that you need to pick your women or it's not effective. If you're not happy go see the gp and ask for a referral?
Happy 6 months to Stevie! Xx

 

[TIGGER41]

Yes I've been offered the operation also before I have another child. My only problem is I've saw a few gynaecologists lately as I may need a laporoscopy for endometriosis. The last doctor said I may end up worse and the procedure may not be effective on me. Something to do with the position of the scarring. I've been advised to massage the area also. Try to stretch it through sex if it's not too painful? Which as you no is easier said than done when you feel so sore and like it's ripping!
They can do it while I'm already under anaesthetic having the laporoscopy but I just don't no wot to do?

 

[Susiew2001]

Yes I've been offered the operation also before I have another child. My only problem is I've saw a few gynaecologists lately as I may need a laporoscopy for endometriosis. The last doctor said I may end up worse and the procedure may not be effective on me. Something to do with the position of the scarring. I've been advised to massage the area also. Try to stretch it through sex if it's not too painful? Which as you no is easier said than done when you feel so sore and like it's ripping!
They can do it while I'm already under anaesthetic having the laporoscopy but I just don't no wot to do?

Tbh I'm so glad I've had it done. I am slightly 'meh' about having an elective cs next time but at the same time after everything that happened they may have suggested it anyway. And although I'm know sex isn't the be all and end all in a relationship I am looking forward to resuming what will hopefully be a near normal sex life (if not back to normal) as since I had her 9 1/2 months ago i can pretty much count on 1 hand how many times we've dtd. I know it's not all about Benn but he has been so good and understanding but it was starting to get him down and I was feeling bad that we couldn't (I wouldn't) and that it was my fault. And when we did I didn't enjoy it.
Why aren't you sure? Is it because of the scarring as you say? Where in the country are you? Could you ask for a second opinion? Xx

 

[TIGGER41]

I'm in Liverpool and have all my treatment in the Liverpool women's hospital.
I have a few problems the episiotomy scar is quite extensive and won't really stretch making DTD harder but not impossible in certain positions. The main issue I have is a band of scar tissue at the back of my vagina close to my perineum. This was caused by my episiotomy bursting quite extensively. Anyway they said they can remove this tissue but it will severely shorten my perineum which she said is quite short anyway. Plus they cannot guarantee that it will heal any better than the way it is now? I've had a few opinions on it and I'm scared that I will end up in a worse position? It's not ideal at all but it's been 18 months and my partner has been very patient with me and I'm starting to relax a lot more now. There is still pain when DTD but it is more bearable. Especially the more I do it.
I no I'm going to opt for a c section if I have another baby as there is no way I am risking any ripping occurring and I no the scar tissue will not stretch. I think at the moment massaging the scar tissue with bio oil is my only option. X

 

[sarah_lou1981]

I need car seat advice please lovelies. When would you all remove the head hugger part? Cole hates his, he looks really squashed into it and it's fleecy so makes him sweat. They say when they can hold their head, which he can, but is 15 weeks too young? Don't want to risk hurting him but he absolutely hates it and his head looks really uncomfortable in it.

 

[pjallen1982]

I need car seat advice please lovelies. When would you all remove the head hugger part? Cole hates his, he looks really squashed into it and it's fleecy so makes him sweat. They say when they can hold their head, which he can, but is 15 weeks too young? Don't want to risk hurting him but he absolutely hates it and his head looks really uncomfortable in it.

I've never used one. Mine didn't come with one I don't think. It has fair bit of padding but doesn't hug the head? I have the graco evo car seat

 

[sarah_lou1981]

I've never used one. Mine didn't come with one I don't think. It has fair bit of padding but doesn't hug the head? I have the graco evo car seat

Really? Mines a Silvercross Ventura. Maybe I'll take it out then. He gets really morngy when I put him in it and there's no way he can wear a hat or hood in it. It was good when he was newborn but I think it restricts him now.

 

[Dubchick81]

I would only take it off if you have a neck pillow for him?!
Just to support his head if/when he falls asleep...

 

[ksmiuk]

Mine says in instructions to remove at 3-4 months but I too would probably get some neck support for it xx