Protective of food
- Thread starter lavender
- Start date
Coley
Re-starter
Hey Heidi....just been reading your thread here. You're doing well!! Squash that chatterbox. Wish I could!
I'm in my 4th year doing psychology and I'm in study mode and noticed the thing about sucking your thumb. Freud was quite a weird guy (and often rather wrong) but he did have these stages of "Psychosexual Development" which I've found rather amusing since 1st year.
Basically he says we all have to go through them and this is how our personalty develops. They go like this: oral stage, anal stage, phallic stage, latent period and genital stage. When you are really little you are in the oral phase, the centre of your pleasure comes from your mouth, you explore your whole world through your mouth. It's the same idea for every stage as you move through them.
Freud suggested that there are some people who get fixated, or stuck in a stage and then these people when they eventually get out of that stage carry some part of it along in their life.
So the point I'm getting as is that you, as a thumb sucker, you were stuck in the oral stage and so you like having stuff in your mouth, cigarettes, liquorice, just STUFF!!
Supposedly it's the same for other people, eg, if you are stuck in the anal phase (like had harsh toilet training) you are likely to be overly tidy (or anal. lol) or overly messy or lax. You get the idea.
Anyway, this post sounds awful filthy and rude and downright dirty but for some odd reason I felt like sharing.....
Ta for listening to my lecture!!
Nicole xx
I'm in my 4th year doing psychology and I'm in study mode and noticed the thing about sucking your thumb. Freud was quite a weird guy (and often rather wrong) but he did have these stages of "Psychosexual Development" which I've found rather amusing since 1st year.
Basically he says we all have to go through them and this is how our personalty develops. They go like this: oral stage, anal stage, phallic stage, latent period and genital stage. When you are really little you are in the oral phase, the centre of your pleasure comes from your mouth, you explore your whole world through your mouth. It's the same idea for every stage as you move through them.
Freud suggested that there are some people who get fixated, or stuck in a stage and then these people when they eventually get out of that stage carry some part of it along in their life.
So the point I'm getting as is that you, as a thumb sucker, you were stuck in the oral stage and so you like having stuff in your mouth, cigarettes, liquorice, just STUFF!!
Supposedly it's the same for other people, eg, if you are stuck in the anal phase (like had harsh toilet training) you are likely to be overly tidy (or anal. lol) or overly messy or lax. You get the idea.
Anyway, this post sounds awful filthy and rude and downright dirty but for some odd reason I felt like sharing.....
Ta for listening to my lecture!!
Nicole xx
Hi nicole,
that is fasinating stuff, i really love psychology, its so interesting ,un raveling the mind. i think you have got it spot on, i am stuck at oral gratification. i have amopther who was/is compleatly obsessed with hosework/tidyness/hygeine etc to the point that i think when we were small it was at the ocd level and as a result, my brother and I were very controlled, to the point that we had to wear matching outfits and if one of us got dirty, we both had to be changed!!! Also not allowed to get dirty, so my oral stage as a baby could well have been halted and therefore fixed???? love to hear your thoughts on this!
Any ideas how i now move on from this stage???
that is fasinating stuff, i really love psychology, its so interesting ,un raveling the mind. i think you have got it spot on, i am stuck at oral gratification. i have amopther who was/is compleatly obsessed with hosework/tidyness/hygeine etc to the point that i think when we were small it was at the ocd level and as a result, my brother and I were very controlled, to the point that we had to wear matching outfits and if one of us got dirty, we both had to be changed!!! Also not allowed to get dirty, so my oral stage as a baby could well have been halted and therefore fixed???? love to hear your thoughts on this!
Any ideas how i now move on from this stage???
Coley
Re-starter
The dirty thing is usually to do with the Anal stage....so a little older, erm...I forget...when do children get toilet trained? I don't have any of my own!! anyway...your mum was a bit frantic with the cleaning....which may make you become either like this, or the exact opposite. According to Freud, you should not be able to have a happy medium of normal, average untidyness.
You're already out of the phase, you would have had to to get onto the next one, but you would have taken your thumb sucking with you in order to get out of the oral phase - to satisfy your need for stuff in your mouth. Freud not so helpful when it comes to getting rid of that fixation.....just obesessed with sex that man was and he did talk a lot of rubbish quite a lot of the time with the whole oedipus/electra complex thingie.
Shame we don't do all the fun stuff anymore.... it's all stats and biology stuff now. It's a science these days and we don't get to sit around analyzing each other!! booooooooo!!!
How are you doing today anyway?? Miss Chatterbox well and truely squashed? I did LL before all this child, and rebelious child and adult stuff....can you tell me about it?
You're already out of the phase, you would have had to to get onto the next one, but you would have taken your thumb sucking with you in order to get out of the oral phase - to satisfy your need for stuff in your mouth. Freud not so helpful when it comes to getting rid of that fixation.....just obesessed with sex that man was and he did talk a lot of rubbish quite a lot of the time with the whole oedipus/electra complex thingie.
Shame we don't do all the fun stuff anymore.... it's all stats and biology stuff now. It's a science these days and we don't get to sit around analyzing each other!! booooooooo!!!
How are you doing today anyway?? Miss Chatterbox well and truely squashed? I did LL before all this child, and rebelious child and adult stuff....can you tell me about it?
happygal
Banned
Hi Ya
I always analyse the Ego state Im in!! Thats about the only thing that Freud ever did for Psychology in my book!! (That would be specifically MY book and not my psychology text book, which dosent say that at all).
The Id is the child that wants everything now and needs satisfied. When it wants it it gets it at any cost!! - This is the Side of me that makes me Gorb food and totally stuff myself without any thought to the consequences.
My Superego - Causes me to feel guity because I am such a greedy biatch!!
My Ego - tells me that Its normal for me to be fat so theres no real point in trying to change as this is part of my identity
Well its something like that anyhow. Its not so much the Id, Ego, Super- ego thing Im a fan of but the Unconscious, preconscious and conscious thingy.
I always analyse the Ego state Im in!! Thats about the only thing that Freud ever did for Psychology in my book!! (That would be specifically MY book and not my psychology text book, which dosent say that at all).
The Id is the child that wants everything now and needs satisfied. When it wants it it gets it at any cost!! - This is the Side of me that makes me Gorb food and totally stuff myself without any thought to the consequences.
My Superego - Causes me to feel guity because I am such a greedy biatch!!
My Ego - tells me that Its normal for me to be fat so theres no real point in trying to change as this is part of my identity
Well its something like that anyhow. Its not so much the Id, Ego, Super- ego thing Im a fan of but the Unconscious, preconscious and conscious thingy.
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Why is it that the word 'exercise' leave me cold
I din't do exercise as a result of this, I simply become more 'active'
I wonder if this is because when I was at school I was one of those annoying kids that was good at all things sporty and had to be the best. Now that I haven't been sporty for yonks there would be no chance of me being the best (not to mention my age) so the term exercise has become offensive to me.
I think I have been dealing quite well with this must 'be the best' 'all or nothing' kink in my personality because I am better able to take risks as a result.
Taking risk in my book means taking on a challenge where it isn't a sure thing that I will actually succeed.
Things are improving. It just goes to show that in my case doing LL has been more about sorting out my personality disorders (still got a long way to go on that one!) and the weight loss/maintainence has followed on from that as a result.
I din't do exercise as a result of this, I simply become more 'active'
I wonder if this is because when I was at school I was one of those annoying kids that was good at all things sporty and had to be the best. Now that I haven't been sporty for yonks there would be no chance of me being the best (not to mention my age) so the term exercise has become offensive to me.
I think I have been dealing quite well with this must 'be the best' 'all or nothing' kink in my personality because I am better able to take risks as a result.
Taking risk in my book means taking on a challenge where it isn't a sure thing that I will actually succeed.
Things are improving. It just goes to show that in my case doing LL has been more about sorting out my personality disorders (still got a long way to go on that one!) and the weight loss/maintainence has followed on from that as a result.
very grumpy as just typed out a really long "deep" explanation of my current "Critical parent/rebelious child" thing thats been going on and something happened to the pc so I lost it all
nicole,
i will do it again when i get a chance, Blast and other such exspletives!!!!
nicole,
i will do it again when i get a chance, Blast and other such exspletives!!!!
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
I really feel for you. I have done that on a couple of occasions and it never seems quite as good the second time around
I have to admit that my diary thread is a copy and paste from my personal diary with all the horse bits taken out (you don't want to hear about those ) and the horse bit pasted into the horse thread
This way you all get to hear how I feel and what happens when it happens because I update my diary numerous times a day and then read it all through at the end of the day to edit it and put it all in the same tense
I have to admit that my diary thread is a copy and paste from my personal diary with all the horse bits taken out (you don't want to hear about those
) and the horse bit pasted into the horse thread This way you all get to hear how I feel and what happens when it happens because I update my diary numerous times a day and then read it all through at the end of the day to edit it and put it all in the same tense
Hi Nicole ,
how you doing? I have had a weird week,
Monday .... Out on a jolly with my college buddies to a complimentary medicine show, on goes my Holiday head and ate the following,
One bowel of porridge with yogurt and a nectarine!
One large danish pastry with a large cappucino.
several sweets on the bus!!!
More sweets on the bus and whilst walking round show.
Lunch........ A huge white doughy bread roll, white as they had no choice with goats cheese and tomato, yummy.
2 apples and a few more sweets!!!
a large chilled cappucino with cream on top and some yogurt covered banans, brazils and apricots!!! ( also bought huge bag of crisps, which i didnt eat in the end and a small bar of green and blacks , which i also didnt eat)
trip home, another huge cappucino and a large tub of fruit salad and some more sweets.
at home a baked potato, beans , cheese and salad,
followed by about 10 chocolate digestives!!! ( and a banana!!)
guess what the next day i weighed and was 12. 0.8 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was so pissed of I SS ed for 3 days and lost 9 lbs, howver after that and realising that i had gone into holiday mode and that once in a while it isnt going to kill me, i have once more swung back to try to eat sensibly and stop being daft!!
i have also realised that i really would like to try to get out of my all or nothing frame of mind, why do i see holidays, trips away, days out and family occasions as a licence to get as many calories in me as possible, like there will be no food after that occasion????
i wonder if the fact that as kids we had lots of goodies at christmas , birthdays etc and just normal boring stuff the rest of the time meant I see these occasions as a time to go for it!!
I also wonder if I am setting up the same pattern in my own kids by having a "sweetie day" and extra nice things " bad foods" only once in a while, its such a dilema, as I know given free range 2 of my kids would choose to live on sugar and refined white carbs!!. If I did buy in crap ,and made it freely available to them so that it wasnt forbidden fruit they would have an appaling diet!! This has actually been the case when my now 20 yr old who lived on his own for a year , ate crisps and pizza, no fresh veg or fruit or infact anything that required any effort at all, yet he was brought up to enjoy a full range of foods both tradtionally healthy and also some less so!!
very confused about the whole thing really, children wise, I have taken to saying to them now when they ask me why so and so has "chococrips etc" for breakfast that if its not good enough to put in my body then it certainly isnt good enough for them and That I am trying to keep them well nourished and healthy as is my role as their parent, when they leave home they can choose to put rubbish in their body if they want but I am not going to do it to them!!
God knows what kind of nutters I will turn out and we do have some crap around occasionally but mostly as my 13 yr old says "why do we eat wood"!!! ( he actually is now a veggie and eats really well , although would still rather live on jaffa cakes!!)
anyway if your still awake at the end of that ramble then well done!!
what do you make of all that? not telling you where i live incase you send the men in white coats around !!!
how you doing? I have had a weird week,
Monday .... Out on a jolly with my college buddies to a complimentary medicine show, on goes my Holiday head and ate the following,
One bowel of porridge with yogurt and a nectarine!
One large danish pastry with a large cappucino.
several sweets on the bus!!!
More sweets on the bus and whilst walking round show.
Lunch........ A huge white doughy bread roll, white as they had no choice with goats cheese and tomato, yummy.
2 apples and a few more sweets!!!
a large chilled cappucino with cream on top and some yogurt covered banans, brazils and apricots!!! ( also bought huge bag of crisps, which i didnt eat in the end and a small bar of green and blacks , which i also didnt eat)
trip home, another huge cappucino and a large tub of fruit salad and some more sweets.
at home a baked potato, beans , cheese and salad,
followed by about 10 chocolate digestives!!! ( and a banana!!)
guess what the next day i weighed and was 12. 0.8 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was so pissed of I SS ed for 3 days and lost 9 lbs, howver after that and realising that i had gone into holiday mode and that once in a while it isnt going to kill me, i have once more swung back to try to eat sensibly and stop being daft!!
i have also realised that i really would like to try to get out of my all or nothing frame of mind, why do i see holidays, trips away, days out and family occasions as a licence to get as many calories in me as possible, like there will be no food after that occasion????
i wonder if the fact that as kids we had lots of goodies at christmas , birthdays etc and just normal boring stuff the rest of the time meant I see these occasions as a time to go for it!!
I also wonder if I am setting up the same pattern in my own kids by having a "sweetie day" and extra nice things " bad foods" only once in a while, its such a dilema, as I know given free range 2 of my kids would choose to live on sugar and refined white carbs!!. If I did buy in crap ,and made it freely available to them so that it wasnt forbidden fruit they would have an appaling diet!! This has actually been the case when my now 20 yr old who lived on his own for a year , ate crisps and pizza, no fresh veg or fruit or infact anything that required any effort at all, yet he was brought up to enjoy a full range of foods both tradtionally healthy and also some less so!!
very confused about the whole thing really, children wise, I have taken to saying to them now when they ask me why so and so has "chococrips etc" for breakfast that if its not good enough to put in my body then it certainly isnt good enough for them and That I am trying to keep them well nourished and healthy as is my role as their parent, when they leave home they can choose to put rubbish in their body if they want but I am not going to do it to them!!
God knows what kind of nutters I will turn out and we do have some crap around occasionally but mostly as my 13 yr old says "why do we eat wood"!!! ( he actually is now a veggie and eats really well , although would still rather live on jaffa cakes!!)
anyway if your still awake at the end of that ramble then well done!!
what do you make of all that? not telling you where i live incase you send the men in white coats around !!!
Coley
Re-starter
Hey Heidi!!
I'm ok I suppose....a bit poorly sick and had MASSIVE row with bf which resulted in me chucking him out of my flat, demanding his key for my flat back and me going in massive strop and binging on.............dried apple? weird huh? Won't see him till next Friday now. Great. Have been silly little hysterical girl the whole night and have a lovely temperature so feeling very sorry for myself.
Your show sounds like it was a good time!! if you look back on it...it's really not that bad (apart from the 10 chocolate digestives) you're eating like a slim person....fruit, coffee....nuts....and...yes...the evil carbs, but we can't avoid them forever? Before LL, would you not have reached for everything carby in sight? and not the fruit etc etc? I would have. I'm quite bamboozled by my behaviour, I hope it keeps up!
Plus see...you've taken control again. You can have these days as long as you don't let it drag on for lots and lots of days!!
My parents always gave me 8 squares of Diary Milk on a Saturday when we watched Gladiators....that was my sweets for the week. Mind you, I wasn't really given pocket money and my parents used to eat quite healthily, but a lot of carbs and the portions were a bit too big for them now I think about it. I was right into my ballet so I was fine until I was about 15 and then gave it all up, and I blew up like a balloon!!
It's a difficult one knowing what to do with sweets.....you don't want to have it as a reward, but you don't want to give them it too often and you don't want them wanting that stuff all the time!! Muchos confusing. I did go through a phase of wanting Pop Tarts for breakfast, but I was mostly a Cocopops, or a toast, or cornflakes kinda gal. Carbs carbs carbs all the way. Never had a desire to have fry ups. Suppose it's all depended on each individual?
Your 20 year old sounds like quite a few guys at uni....anything that needs washing up and/or cooking is a no no!! lol. Does he have a George Foreman grill? That seems to save the day for a lot of them.Making toasties etc with stuff in them. TBH I was never really a big meat eater in 1st, 2nd or 3rd year at Uni. Only this year really. Meat is expensive and you have to chop it etc etc. Thats what I thought anyway. Plus...pasta is eeeeeasy and cheap and leaves more money for drinking!! lol. student mentality coming through here!
Anyway...enough rambling from me now! I am off to be studious since I am not at work and do something useful!
Toodles!
I'm ok I suppose....a bit poorly sick and had MASSIVE row with bf which resulted in me chucking him out of my flat, demanding his key for my flat back and me going in massive strop and binging on.............dried apple? weird huh? Won't see him till next Friday now. Great. Have been silly little hysterical girl the whole night and have a lovely temperature so feeling very sorry for myself.
Your show sounds like it was a good time!! if you look back on it...it's really not that bad (apart from the 10 chocolate digestives
) you're eating like a slim person....fruit, coffee....nuts....and...yes...the evil carbs, but we can't avoid them forever? Before LL, would you not have reached for everything carby in sight? and not the fruit etc etc? I would have. I'm quite bamboozled by my behaviour, I hope it keeps up!Plus see...you've taken control again. You can have these days as long as you don't let it drag on for lots and lots of days!!
My parents always gave me 8 squares of Diary Milk on a Saturday when we watched Gladiators....that was my sweets for the week. Mind you, I wasn't really given pocket money and my parents used to eat quite healthily, but a lot of carbs and the portions were a bit too big for them now I think about it. I was right into my ballet so I was fine until I was about 15 and then gave it all up, and I blew up like a balloon!!
It's a difficult one knowing what to do with sweets.....you don't want to have it as a reward, but you don't want to give them it too often and you don't want them wanting that stuff all the time!! Muchos confusing. I did go through a phase of wanting Pop Tarts for breakfast, but I was mostly a Cocopops, or a toast, or cornflakes kinda gal. Carbs carbs carbs all the way. Never had a desire to have fry ups. Suppose it's all depended on each individual?
Your 20 year old sounds like quite a few guys at uni....anything that needs washing up and/or cooking is a no no!! lol. Does he have a George Foreman grill? That seems to save the day for a lot of them.Making toasties etc with stuff in them. TBH I was never really a big meat eater in 1st, 2nd or 3rd year at Uni. Only this year really. Meat is expensive and you have to chop it etc etc. Thats what I thought anyway. Plus...pasta is eeeeeasy and cheap and leaves more money for drinking!! lol. student mentality coming through here!
Anyway...enough rambling from me now! I am off to be studious since I am not at work and do something useful!
Toodles!
protective of food!!!
Something has just occured to me that I haven't thought about before,
I am very protective of "my"food , in as much as I have special yogurt for me ie, Shape or low fat yogurt and I get really cross if anyone eats it!! I buy loads of different stuff for the others to eat , I even buy me really nice pears that actually they dont even like but if I go to the fridge and someone has moved them , I do panic!!
Now this kind made sense when I was always on a diet and "needed" special things, but now I have lost weight and one of my aims was to just be like everyone else, however this just doesnt seem to have happened and I rarely eat what they eat???
I have tried to think back to my childhood and my parents did do some odd things, like hide chocolate under the sofa if they heard me or my brother coming and also my father did use to joke that some foods were "too good for kids", also I have a memory of us on holiday and us being on a boating lake, once we kids were safely across the other side of the lake, my parents would have a huge cornish icecream and when we got a lolly with my Mum, she always had one a bit like a feast but we had to have a watery one!!!
This does all sound a bit odd I know and am not sure if or how this has any bearing on how I am now but I do wonder.
The other thing is, I really prefer to eat on my own!!! We do ahve family meals , eat with my husband etc but if I have a choice I will always eat alone!!
Shall I call the men in white coats or can anyone else relate to these issues???
Something has just occured to me that I haven't thought about before,
I am very protective of "my"food , in as much as I have special yogurt for me ie, Shape or low fat yogurt and I get really cross if anyone eats it!! I buy loads of different stuff for the others to eat , I even buy me really nice pears that actually they dont even like but if I go to the fridge and someone has moved them , I do panic!!
Now this kind made sense when I was always on a diet and "needed" special things, but now I have lost weight and one of my aims was to just be like everyone else, however this just doesnt seem to have happened and I rarely eat what they eat???
I have tried to think back to my childhood and my parents did do some odd things, like hide chocolate under the sofa if they heard me or my brother coming and also my father did use to joke that some foods were "too good for kids", also I have a memory of us on holiday and us being on a boating lake, once we kids were safely across the other side of the lake, my parents would have a huge cornish icecream and when we got a lolly with my Mum, she always had one a bit like a feast but we had to have a watery one!!!
This does all sound a bit odd I know and am not sure if or how this has any bearing on how I am now but I do wonder.
The other thing is, I really prefer to eat on my own!!! We do ahve family meals , eat with my husband etc but if I have a choice I will always eat alone!!
Shall I call the men in white coats or can anyone else relate to these issues???
Flopster
Got a life thank you!
I completely understand where you are coming from and feel exactly the same.
It may be reassuring for you to know that my parents always gave us whatever they had and we always sat down to dinner.
Maybe it is because we get a huge amount of pleasure from food that we are like that - we enjoy the flavours, tastes and textures and know that others wouldn't appreciate it the same so it makes us feel that we need to protect the food so it can be truly enjoyed???
Dunno if that makes any sense?
It may be reassuring for you to know that my parents always gave us whatever they had and we always sat down to dinner.
Maybe it is because we get a huge amount of pleasure from food that we are like that - we enjoy the flavours, tastes and textures and know that others wouldn't appreciate it the same so it makes us feel that we need to protect the food so it can be truly enjoyed???
Dunno if that makes any sense?
nadhak
LIGHTER LIFE FOR LIFE
In response to Heidi - Hello chum!!!
I get cross if the kids interrupt my meal / or my cup of tea and cereal bar ....and still despite the counselling and weight loss desperately want to start the eating process again in peace!
Food is sacred and even more so now I eat less of it!
I get cross if the kids interrupt my meal / or my cup of tea and cereal bar ....and still despite the counselling and weight loss desperately want to start the eating process again in peace!
Food is sacred and even more so now I eat less of it!
chicken on a mission
Restarting to lose 4stone
Now I am back on food again I am very protective of food again.
Your post has really made me think because the top shelf of the fridge is MY shelf.
Hubby and I have the same aims at the mo which is to eat healthilly so why do I deny him the same food that
I am successful with?
Once again I find that one of your post has opened up some issues that I hadn't considered before so thank you for helping me
Your post has really made me think because the top shelf of the fridge is MY shelf.
Hubby and I have the same aims at the mo which is to eat healthilly so why do I deny him the same food that
I am successful with?
Once again I find that one of your post has opened up some issues that I hadn't considered before so thank you for helping me
