Question for Diva re binging.

[KD]

Sorry Diva....lots of stuff going on in my mind that I'd like your viewpoint on.

Why binge? Why not just eat a little too much.

I know there is a massive difference between when I just overeat and when I have a binge. Often when I overeat, it’s because I’m really enjoying what I’m eating that I want to try it again…relive the experience It’s more of a conscious choice. I will have a break…chose to eat a bit more of what I’ve enjoyed.

When I binge it feels so different. It’s like another form of hunger. Not the stomach rumbling but an insatiable desire to fulfill a need that I feel I can only get through food. There is no gap. Even when I’m eating, I’m looking for the next thing and I can’t stuff it in quick enough. Why, when I'm feeling 'normal' and I decide to eat something...how come it can set off a binge? I can feel totally in control and happy....have a biscuit, and then not be able to stop. If I didn't feel like I needed to before that one biscuit, why does it suddenly start then?

If I am an emotional eater, then why binge? If I’m bored, why doesn’t the fact that I’m eating be enough to satisfy my boredom? I could just cook a meal to satisfy my boredom, but it’s not enough…I have to eat while I’m doing it.

Just say I decided I was fed up so chose to read a book. I wouldn’t need to read it extra fast….or go out and buy the whole of WH Smith to satisfy the need…so why do we use food like this?

 

[Diva]

Hey Karion

Just wanted to let you know that I am not deliberately ignoring you or your questions....its just that I'm out at the moment so keeping my replies quite brief. Will definitely reply to this in detail when I'm home later....xx

 

[KD]

I understand Diva. No problem at all

Just amazed that Isobel hasn't replied

That must have taken a tremendous amount of control mate.

 

[chicken on a mission]

I'm no expert and I'm not that far into my journey but I do think that for me, the need to binge was an emotional response for something lacking in me.

I hope that I have correctly identified the trigger times/emotions to be able to be on my guard although I expect I will fall off the wagon at various points.

For me it was after my daughter had gone to bed (no other time) when I was bored and I felt neglected by my hubby because he would be in the garage or on the internet.

Now it is me that is busy on the internet or very proactive in telling him want I want/need.

Do you know what your triggers are?

 

[DQ]

For me it was after my daughter had gone to bed (no other time) when I was bored and I felt neglected by my hubby because he would be in the garage or on the internet.

I definitely recognise this in myself. Not sure if I have identified ALL my triggers but this is one of them for sure.

 

[KD]

My main one isn't a feeling of neglect..more of a desire to treat myself and relax.

DH works late evening/nights just when I finish working and once I've done the kiddo catch up, he's sent off to bed leaving me starving and alone, with the fridge as company.

 

[Isobel1965]

When I binge it feels so different. It’s like another form of hunger. Not the stomach rumbling but an insatiable desire to fulfill a need that I feel I can only get through food. There is no gap. Even when I’m eating, I’m looking for the next thing and I can’t stuff it in quick enough. Why, when I'm feeling 'normal' and I decide to eat something...how come it can set off a binge? I can feel totally in control and happy....have a biscuit, and then not be able to stop. If I didn't feel like I needed to before that one biscuit, why does it suddenly start then?

If I am an emotional eater, then why binge? If I’m bored, why doesn’t the fact that I’m eating be enough to satisfy my boredom? I could just cook a meal to satisfy my boredom, but it’s not enough…I have to eat while I’m doing it.

Just say I decided I was fed up so chose to read a book. I wouldn’t need to read it extra fast….or go out and buy the whole of WH Smith to satisfy the need…so why do we use food like this?

Hi hun - soz I haven't replied - am not feeling myself today (heheh)

This is how it is for me....

You know when you just meet someone and you fancy them to bits and you can't keep your hands off them and the passion between you is just so strong, it's uncontrollable?

Well - when I'm feeling lonely, resentful, abandoned etc and all this passion is building up inside me (but twisted from a positive energy into a negative one) then I binge like a crazy thing in order to fill up my emotional emptiness.

It's like a junkie needing a fix - it doesn't really matter what food it is - I NEED to fill ME up - physically and emotionally.

So I never binge when I'm phsyically with my blurke - which isn't as often as I would like - but I don't feel the need to as the phsyical and emotional closeness and intimacy satisfies my emotional need (and I don't just mean s e x - even when we're holding hands and chatting).

It tends to creep up on me when I'm feeling insecure and I have to fight, fight, fight that feeling in order to stop the waves of uncontrollable urges to feed.

What I need to do is to find something not food related, that satiates my crying-out for emotional fulfillment in times of crisis.

If my fella was upstairs in bed and I had a moment like this - I would have to go upstairs and give him a cuddle and hear that he loves me. That would do it. I hope lol

love

 

[KD]

Hi hun - soz I haven't replied - am not feeling myself today (heheh)

I read you weren't feeling well Is it a cold? I hate colds...make me feel really crap. Feeling a bit better now?

You know when you just meet someone and you fancy them to bits and you can't keep your hands off them and the passion between you is just so strong, it's uncontrollable?

Nope...carry on though....

It's like a junkie needing a fix - it doesn't really matter what food it is - I NEED to fill ME up - physically and emotionally.

That's how I feel. Like a junkie....but why? Why do we try to fill it with food when we know it only makes us feel worse? We might as well hit ourselves over the head with a hammer for all the good it does. People don't though.

When was the last time you saw a support forum for people who hit themselves over the head with a hammer?

So why food?
Why can I feel in control until I have one trigger food? What is it about that one slice of bread that can set me off into dreams of eating the Hovis factory minus bricks
Why when I eat out of boredom, do I have to eat so fast and quick leaving me more time for even more boredom?

I'm not really questioning myself as to why I am so foolish to do this. Done enough of that, and still left with questions. Just wondering why?

I'm not stupid. I know food can be a problem for me. I just want to know 'why food' when I know it's not the answer

Do you get what I'm trying to say?

At least if I was a junkie, I'd know that it was something chemical.

 

[Isobel1965]

I think it is something chemical - somehow carbs releasing sugar and my body turning up the insulin production seems to have a direct correalation (sp???) to my serotonin levels. But just for a little while, then they plunge back down again.

Maybe one day, scientists will discover how to regulate the sloshing around of chemicals and hormones in our bodies. I hope they make it fecking quick!

 

[KD]

I think it is something chemical -

That's what I think. A lot of what Karen said about serotonin levels (on the pink site) made a lot of sense to me. I just need to work out what is physical and what is psychological.

I've worked through so much, but a whole load is still achieved through control. I want to really understand what's going on so that I don't have to use this control...so that it just comes naturally.

 

[Isobel1965]

Putting on my history teacher hat for a min (forgive me, but am delirious with a cold/fluey thing) - but a couple of centuries ago, medical science treated the whole body as one. If you were hysterical, they whipped out your uterus etc - oh and the four humours of the body were said to affect your phsyical health. It was only relatively recently that science separated mind from body as distinctly different areas to treat. I'm rather pleased to see that we're slowly returning to a more holistic approach cos I think humans are far more complex than we currently understand.

OK Lecture over lol

(I can't BELIEVE there's someone talking at the back!!!)

love

 

[Diva]

Hey Guys

Karion you are quite right in the differences that you have identified between overeating and binge eating.

Overeating is a conscious choice whilst bingeing is not! It is hard to rationalise bingeing because by its very nature it is uncontrollable - if you could control it would you do it? Probably not!

Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is a very real condition which is usually triggered by some kind of trauma or negative emotion. It is a self perpetuating cycle as sufferers often feel so bad about not being able to control themselves that they then binge again!!!

What you have to remember is that all of our actions have a purpose or, as Dr Phil calls it, a payoff! And often it is not until you are able to be honest about what the payoff is for you that you change. Every single person can change if they have enough of a compelling reason to do so... and how soon can you change? In a heartbeat!

Bingeing serves a purpose - ask yourself what it is about doing what you do that you actually "enjoy". I know it sounds weird but take this as an example.

I am a binge eater and a couple of years ago I lost over 6 stone using LL and CD and thought I'd cracked it! Why did I think that? Because I didn't eat for 6 months so there's no way I could still be a binge eater because I was thin! And do you know what...for 2 weeks I had cracked it. Then I realised that I was no longer part of "the crowd", I no longer had a weight problem, my clients looked at me as if I couldn't possibly understand how they felt because I was slim, and a whole lot of other stuff came into play. So what did I do?

Consciously I was trying to maintain my weight .... subconsciously I was sabotaging my efforts by bingeing so that my basic human need of connection was being fulfilled!! I was also using bingeing to do this as opposed to overeating because on some level I knew that bingeing would guarantee weight gain and, therefore, keep me rooted in what I thought was familiar. It was only through going through "the work" that I was able to truly see this and now I can work on this whilst still remaining connected.

As you can see, this whole area is an absolute minefield and every one of us will have our own take on why, what and how to stop. Remember BED is about food because that is the drug of choice. The roots of drug addiction are exactly the same except that the addict has chosen toxic drugs.... The "drug of choice" is not the issue here it is the action. Trying to find out why you have chosen food is much the same as trying to find out why you choose to make many of your routine daily choices...there is such a thing as over analysis.

 

[KD]

Wow Diva. You're a clever clogs aren't you

What you have to remember is that all of our actions have a purpose or, as Dr Phil calls it, a payoff! And often it is not until you are able to be honest about what the payoff is for you that you change.

Very true. What on earth that payoff is though is really hard to decide. A certain amount of it is habit. I am a creature of habit. Smoking, eating..... Killed the smoking one, but the eating one is a bit harder.

for instance, I have just had a snack. I didn't need it...not sure if I really wanted it...but I had it all the same because it was 10:00pm There again, I know I need to eat regularly and I probably haven't eaten enough today for various reasons. Still...I'll eat at 10:00pm regardless.

subconsciously I was sabotaging my efforts by bingeing so that my basic human need of connection was being fulfilled!! I was also using bingeing to do this as opposed to overeating because on some level I knew that bingeing would guarantee weight gain and, therefore, keep me rooted in what I thought was familiar.

Crikey. It's all too familiar, not this time around but in the past. The temptation has been strong this time, but I think I'm enjoying slimdom too much. Wow though. I had never analysed it like that, yet I know I've done this so thank you for sharing that.

Trying to find out why you have chosen food is much the same as trying to find out why you choose to make many of your routine daily choices...there is such a thing as over analysis.

Ummm. I do over analyse. I'm doing fine...the binges are getting more and more infrequent...should I be thinking about this sort of stuff at all?

Guess I'm really trying to work through all the head stuff in my own sweet way, and this means I need to understand my actions. Picking peoples brains and taking what I need. I'm trying to explore all the avenues that I feel I can manage at this time so that I know I have done everything in my power to continue a successful journey.

I can't fail time. I wont fail...I refuse

 

[chicken on a mission]

WOW! have I learnt a lot!

I have a long way to go on my journey and this thread is yet another example of why I can't afford to rest on my laurels and get all complacent about things.

I always knew that I was good at ssing - because of the adaptive child in my rather than the adult - and knew that going back to conventional food was going to be the problem for me which is why I am so keen to complete the management programme too.

This thread is mindblowing and further strengthens my resolve so thanks I don't think I would have got as got as far as I have with my attitude if it wasn't for the forums and learning from those further on in their journeys from me.