Quirky_Candy's Dequirking

Thanks Carly and Babezone =) Feeling really unsettled.. was gonna log off and crawl into a ball but wanted to purge the thoughts somewhere safer than just my mind.. I swear I wouldnt have these issues if we weren't surrounded with such beautiful people on telly and guys looked for more than just looks.. feel invisible as I am right now =( I gotta keep it in my head that I want to be healthy, thats my reason for doing this and if thats my core reason then it will push away all the other bad things I want to do.. it's a lot easier to do something for health reasons than superficial ones.. gah, mind is racing! Xx
 
youll be fine hun and infact i guarentee once your back on total youll have a big weight loss the first week you weigh in on it as youve probbably given yourself a little boost. dont be so hard on urself man!. it cud of been much much worse! youll be back in line in no time, just think at least u got to taste chocolate even if it was for only 1 slip up. xxx
 
Hehe- it wasnt even that good either. Posh one but it was an odd flavour.. the sugar in it sent my head wild! Think my blood sugar levels went wild- hence feeling so sick and so suddenly emotional.. I dont know about chocolate making people happy.. it sent me catatonic! Feeling more positive about tomorrow already- I must sound bipolar hehe.. I get quite emotional very quickly and then it goes.. all about keeping myself in line I guess.. feels kinda like looking after a child.. dont know how people cope with themselves and children, braver woman than me, and stronger! Xx
 
How has today been ?
:)
 
Better- I know I threw myself out of ketosis but the hunger has been really hard so rather than freak out and eat anything bad I ate a little tin of tuna- it wont stop my body going into ketosis and it'll stop me ruining it all.. I think when I am back in ketosis it'll be easier and I'll feel happier. Tuna was only 130cals. Just want to fast forward to next week when I'm in ketosis and feeling normal again =) Happier today, much happier thanks =) Xx
 
hey candy sorry you've had a tough time but really well done for getting back on track
 
I seem to take the black and white approach of feeling like a winner or feeling like a total loser so the transition phase is quick and messy- soon be feeling like a winner again =) Going to take some tesco just-cooked chicken and some salad round my parents for their dinner- so even if I am tempted all I do is eat chicken which isnt as bad as the junk food they try and push on me! Xx
 
Awful Day- Work was amazingly busy- I stuck to the diet for the first time since doing AAM- I cheated everyday until today- not with anything bad, nibbled on meat mostly.. so looking forward to TS til the end of the diet now! Afraid to weigh myself til Friday so staying away from the scales until then- mentally I wouldnt be able to cope if it wasnt a big loss so Ill just ignore the scales until Friday- if I weigh everyday Ill get demoralised and want to eat.. Sleeping now! Gonna try and stay off here til Friday so I can post something more positive and uplifting! Xx
 
I agree with Carly.
Sometimes its better to come on here and have a good old moan or rant, than eat :)
 
Thanks guys! Well I've resisted the scales and it's just 24 hours til I weigh so fingers crossed it's a good weigh-in. Been TS since Monday so feeling good about that, 3 whole days and my breath was stinking somewhere between day 2-3 and stank last night so I know I'm in K! Work has still been awfully busy so I've felt too tired in the evenings to come on here and read everything but hopefully I'll have a good catchup. Got the final months supply of Exante that I'll need so I'm all set til near the end of October- got an approx 2 stone to lose before then but we'll see how big that hill is tomorrow. I'm hoping I'll be 11'11 or lower! During the AAM I peaked at 12 stone again which screwed me right up psychologically! 11'11 means I'll have 25lbs to lose in 50 odd days which seems quite easy =) If I'm lucky I might even be at my big psychological hurdle of being 74kg which is the lowest I've ever been. If I've hit that it would be a massive mental barrier blown through but I dont want to be too excited in case I don't come close.. Looking forward to tomorrow because clothes that used to be tight are loose now =D Still haven't stealed myself enough to try on the new size 14.. Probably wait until mid-september =D WEEEE! Positive at last yay hehe Feel much more control in TS.. Need to think about how to approach food again towards the end of the diet but I'll leave that til then- I know what my plan will be and it's torture thinking about food so I'll just ignore it for now.. Friend was worried about me- bless them, theyre the only RL friend that's asked me 'If you struggled that much when you were eating a little bit of real food what will you be like off the diet' but I will be OK. I should date that guy he is a sweetie! Argh, work. *flollops into some clothes* Bai! Xx
 
OK I weighed in at 11 stone 9! So I'm officially 74kg and I've never been any lower than that in my entire adult life.. any extra weight I lose is going to transform my body into something I've never seen. Very happy :bliss:

I've also not done any exercise this week- I have walked around a lot but I've had my biggest loss again- (Why 4.5, why not 5!! Curse of the 4's I have!) SO I'm steering clear of the gym.. I can't do those pounding routines when I'm not fuelling myself at all.. Gonna reward myself with some jacuzzi and sauna time if I can find my swimming costume tomorrow (Though I think it's a size 18/20 eeek) Really should shower but I'm so happy I just want to roll around on my bed smiling.. work calls! bah! Xx
 
Well done candy :D
Don't give up on exercise though....
You need to keep it as part of your life, to make good habits :)
 
Quirky_Candy said:
OK I weighed in at 11 stone 9! So I'm officially 74kg and I've never been any lower than that in my entire adult life.. any extra weight I lose is going to transform my body into something I've never seen. Very happy :bliss:

I've also not done any exercise this week- I have walked around a lot but I've had my biggest loss again- (Why 4.5, why not 5!! Curse of the 4's I have!) SO I'm steering clear of the gym.. I can't do those pounding routines when I'm not fuelling myself at all.. Gonna reward myself with some jacuzzi and sauna time if I can find my swimming costume tomorrow (Though I think it's a size 18/20 eeek) Really should shower but I'm so happy I just want to roll around on my bed smiling.. work calls! bah! Xx

Wish I lost 4 every week :) how exciting for you being at your lowest weight :) enjoy the jacuzzi ;)
 
=D So excited and no worries with the exercise, I love exercising =) As soon as I reach goal weight I'll go back- I used to go 3/4 times a week- might go twice and then fit in the jacuzzi a bit more when I get to goal weight =D Xx
 
Day 39- Jeepers, I'd forgotten how long I'd been doing this.
84 days in total so I've got 45 days left =/ doesn't seem like long enough to lose what I want to =( Need to lose half a pound everyday- think it's time to burn some fat at the gym.. I wont overdo it but definitely getting back to the gym Monday.. have missed it and I feel fine.. Had some chicken because my leg was hurting a lot yesterday and it sorted my leg out- missed out a shake so i was still in the same amount of cals. I want the coming week to be the best weight loss so far- determined.. I'm not going to have sweetener in my drinks... or anything at all other than those 3 things I need everyday- Today I had a cheeky coffee with sugar and milk.. figured the soups probably knock you out of ketosis because they have carbs in so I'd just have one with my soup but I gotta stop sneaking one in every couple of days.. this is serious now.. I'm not going to be counting calories and obsessing about food for the rest of my life.. these 45 more days of control, restriction, dedication.. they'll get me to where I want to be.. If I can't do this for me right now then when else will I do it? Watching the 9/11 stuff on telly.. makes me cry.. such a loss of life.. regardless of who or why or whatever, it just sucks and I feel for all those families who didn't expect to lose someone that day so soon..

Anyways, more cheerful.. I'm really psyching myself up.. I'm at the halfway point soon =/ and .. yes I have nearly reached halfway to my goal.. 4-5lbs this week would mean im exactly halfway to my goal of 10 stone.. Now I don't know if ten is my final goal but it's definitely where I want to be at the end of October. I figure it's OK having some fat left on me when I finish because that can get carved off a healthier way.. and my refeeding plan will probably make me lose weight and I'll be under 25bmi.

Full of lots of thoughts.. Looking forward and tense about the speed at which I'm hoping to lose this weight.. better hurry up! Xx
 
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