Rant: Stupid Hospitals & Chinese...mmmm...

[Ella Belle]

So, my poor Mam has not been very well...but she got sent home from hospital last Friday. This would have been great other than the fact that she was not ready and that was obvious for anyone to see apart from her doctors apparently. But, she came home, and things were actually much better for her being in her own bed, it meant a lot more work for me but as long as she was happy that was okay.....roll on to today when she gets a call from the hospital saying that they made a mistake sending her home, the big bad superior hospital had discovered she'd been released and gone mad because it was dangerous for her to be out so she had to come back. My Mam is distraught. She is prone to depression and this is so close to sending her over the edge (this poor woman has had every illness she could possibly have and September had been the first mth in 2 years when she was able to go for a walk to the shops and be independent and then bang October hits and she gets a bloody bleed on her brain). We agreed we'd bring her back in the morning but believe me heads will roll when I get there :flamingmad:

Moving on...(sorry for the massive rant there)..to try to give her some kind of treat I got her a chinese on my way home from the gym, knowing that because she's so unwell all she would have was about three mouthfuls....let me just say OMG...if you could put on weight from smelling food then this evening I would put on 3 stone. I literally shoved my nose into the remainder in the container and didn't remove it for a half an hour....just wow Throwing it in the bin was the saddest thing I've had to do in a loonng time..sad for me..sad for my years of gluttony that led to this diet that means I couldn't scoff it. Funny thing was, I think I enjoyed smelling it more than I would have enjoyed eating it. So, to bed I go...dreaming of that scrumptious discarded take-away rotting in the bin (apart from 4 forkfulls)..but it made my Mam happy so it was worth it

Rant over...sorry for the length of this..my sis is always getting on to me when I go into nighttime 'chat' mode

xxx

 

[SlimmerSu]

Ella.. You showed tremendous willpower hun.

I hope your mum gets the treatment she deserves, and her mental health does not suffer x x

((((big hugs))))

 

[happydaystocome]

Ella
well done for not touching the FOOD lol

I hope that your mum is ok, big hugs to you both xxx

 

[scarymovie]

i must admit even though ive only been doing this 6 days and still have to cook for the hubby and kids i enjoy the smells of food like smokey bacon and bread i can actually taste without eating lol
but as for chinesse dont think im that strong so good on ye x

 

[XxAbbiexX23]

Sorry to hear your mum has been treated appallingly but she is very lucky to have a daughter like you. Seems you'd go to the ends of the earth for her, that is lovely! Well done for resisting the chinese xxx

 

[dellybelly]

WOW! I have to say I am amazed at your self control. I'd have scoffed the lot in about 30 seconds flat!

 

[Ella Belle]

Thanks guys...things went okay today, Mam was finally transferred off a trolley and into a bed tonight..such a big drama but she's okay.

I've discovered over the past few days that I love watching cooking channels and reading recipes...smelling the chinese actually helped me I think....while I was so tempted, it made me focus on my relationship with food and analyse the kind of relationship I want to have with it when I refeed. I will eat chinese again obviously but I don't think that I will go to the extremes that I have in the past. Maybe/Hopefully I will appreciate taste more and savour flavour instead of just wanting a mountain of food on my plate...well here's hoping anyway

Thanks again for your support girlies x