Refocus group - all welcome!

[Spanglymum]

How are you doing this evening, Rosie? Nzmegs made a great suggestion on my diary thread: she suggested I put the things I really crave in a box so I know they're there but am choosing not to have them while I do the plan. They will still be there when I finish. I think it's a great way to remind yourself this is a choice and you're not actually depriving yourself. I'm going to try it. Do you think it might help you stay on plan as well?

Clara, how have you been today? Are you back in the zone?

 

[Spanglymum]

Anyone still here?!!

 

[rosieposie]

Hi Spangly
sorry not been posting. Felt disturbed by the suggestion of the box as I want so much at the moment. Survived yesterday but from this afternoon I've just gone to pot and picked at all sorts.
Now I'm sure I've eaten myself out of ketosis which is even more miserable. I'm also feeling completely bloated but would still like to eat something else.
I'm pretty sure it is all emotional as I was upset at lunch time but then had a good couple of hours volunteering giving reflexology but then fancied a nut fudge bar and din't have one, was tired and then just let myself go.
I am now going to go and do some meditation and see if I can flip this.
Sorry you've been on your own.
I hope you are doing OK.

 

[Spanglymum]

Oh dear. Really sorry to hear you're struggling, Rosie. Do you know what triggered it? Can you find a way to forgive yourself and start again? I haven't done the box yet either because there's so much I would put in it!!! I still like the idea though. It makes sense to me that 'depriving' yourself can trigger bingeing, whereas having foods available makes them easier to resist. Haven't tested that theory yet though! Have a visionnof finding myself troughing it shortly after setting the box up!!

Feeling a bit weird so will head to bed soon.

 

[Spanglymum]

Going to Holland and Barrett shortly to get some of my nemesis foods to put in the infamous box. Here's to thoroughly resisting them once they're actually available! I'm sure there's logic in this.

Seems we've all had some wobbles, one way and another. The most important thing is to keep trying! The way I see it is I've been 100% for six out of the past seven days, which is better than nothing. I'm trying not to be so black and white about it and not beat myself up about not having done 'perfectly'. It's hard though.

We can all be kind to others: I've seen so many supportive and kind and caring messages on this forum. Why can't we be nice to ourselves? We deserve some tlc for ourselves too!

(group hug at this point, I reckon!) xx

 

[Spanglymum]

Went and got myself a box and some things to go in it at lunchtime Was a bit weird - noticing the internal debates I had as I was allowing myself to buy things that are usually out of bounds/craving-inducing things. Made them seem more normal somehow. All safely stashed in the box. The box has a union flag pattern on it (very Jubilee, eh?!) and I reckon I'll leave things in there until the Jubilee weekend... see how far I've got by then!

(By the way I noticed the other day that I was 7 at the time of the last Jubilee (soooo old!) and my eldest daughter is turning 7 shortly so will be 7 for this Jubilee! Spooky, eh?!)

 

[Clarabow]

HOLA , not back on track yet. Setting myself up for tomorrow, have the day off and the weekend to myself so can get a few days under my belt before facing a Monday morning.

Don't think I would trust myself with a box of highly desirable craving foods at this present time. Do like the thought of a list of said items though.

I was having a think the other day. One of my close friends buried her mum yesterday, and is absolutely besides herself with grief. Seeing her suffer is an awful thing. I know her mother as well as all her friends/family would not want her to be going through such torment.

That got me to thinking my friends would not want me to go through my life feeling so limited by my weight. They would want me to look after myself and my health, to be moving forward and happy. Ties in to what you were saying Spangly about being able to be kind and compassionate to others and not to oneself. Hopefully this will give me a different perspective on getting back on plan, a way of being kind to myself rather than poisoning myself with what I have been eating.

Onwards and downwards people x

 

[rosieposie]

Yep it's a struggle still. Can't do the box I'm pretty sure I'd eat whatever was in it. My IBS is kicking back in and I'm really wondering if it is the diet but think perhaps I want that as an excuse to give up.
I think part of the problem was reading a book about a different way of dieting. I started reading it because I wanted to change my thinking ready for maintenance as I didn't do at all well last time. However I think it depressed me as I just can't see me doing what they suggest either also it's all about allowing yourself a little of the things you really can't do without and then you have to list these and my list was so long I couldn't even start it
So now I'm thinking at times why bother with trying to lose
Not in a food place at moment really swinging fro euphoria at what I've done so far and dismay at now and future
Actually typing that has just helped me remember about trying to live mindfully and just living in the moment as there is only now
So I'm going to try and forget about later and keeping the weight off and concentrate on now and as said not filling myself with rubbish
for today only show compassion to myself and to others -one of the Reiki precepts
Thank you all for your posts they do help don't they?
Let's all hope for a good day tomorrow and do this one day at a time

 

[Jess123]

Hi all sorry i have not posted , i have been away for easter. Not stayed on plan but did my best lost a 1lb so not to bad really. Think we all need to give ourself a pat on the back because we may have fallen off plan but we have not given in Lets ll draw the line ____________________________ and make a fresh start. No point dwelling on what went wrong just accept it and move on . Tomorrow is another day and we can all pick ourselfs up dust ourself down and crack on with the paln . We can all do this

 

[Spanglymum]

I'm liking the line, Jess!

Well... I had a minor wobble yesterday but it was because of dashing between work and an unexpected LL meeting and not leaving time for a pack in between, getting hungry, and eating off plan. I ate protein though so I don't think it will have knocked me out of ketosis. Hope not anyway. And group was good. Reminded me of how far I've come. I think we can forget that, when we're busy focusing on the 5% we get wrong. Actually we've all come a long way since we first started!

Clara - I'm really sorry to hear about your friend's mum. So sad. A difficult time. How are you feeling? Are you still feeling like it's put things in perspective for you?

 

[bluesunflower]

Still here as well, lost it on Monday but have been sticking to it since then. Finding it so hard at the moment, but the alternative is worse.

Thanks for that line up there; it is very much needed.

Hope you all have a great afternoon!!

 

[Jess123]

Lost it again last night!!!!!!!!!!! Today is going to be hard . Hope you are all doing well.

 

[Debbi8489]

We can all be kind to others: I've seen so many supportive and kind and caring messages on this forum. Why can't we be nice to ourselves? We deserve some tlc for ourselves too!

(group hug at this point, I reckon!) xx

Very, very true Spangly!

Hi everyone :waves:

Sorry I've been MIA. I'm not quite sure where the time goes. Anyway, I'm back and on the packs. Went to class this morning. I've been steadily putting on and putting on. I had made the decision to go back on the packs today, so had probably gone a bit mad over the past couple of days. I want to lose 17lbs and I reckon I should be able to batter through that in 4 or 5 weeks on the packs. We're on holiday in 7 weeks , I think, so want to be back at target for that. Its amazing how fat this extra stone is making me feel. However, I think this is a good thing.

So, I'm back home now and have had my porridge, 2 cups of coffee and about a litre of water. We're watching the Merseyside derby. Come on Everton!!!

Happy Saturday everyone


Debbi xx

 

[bluesunflower]

Jess, the 'day after' is the worst, isn't it? But think of how great you'll feel tonight when you stuck to it and will be well on your way into ketosis again. As you said the other day, draw a line under what's happened and start anew.

Debbi, good luck with the new start

Have a great weekend everyone.

 

[Phoenyx]

Hi! Just popped back in to say hello! I'm following you all still, even though I've now deserted you. I'm full of admiration for your progress, however rocky, on what I consider is the hardest diet of all. You should be very proud of your determination and strength.

Anyway, I abandoned ship because I didn't like the way I was with my DDs - I was feeding them rubbish because I didn't want to cook, avoiding mealtimes etc, and letting them eat in front of the telly because I didn't want to sit round the table. They're at a vulnerable age, and as a single parent I'm their only role model. I know there are lots of arguments for and against, but I know I've made the right decision for me.

I'm doing my on plan at the moment, using 2-3 packs a day for convenience, and then eating 2 small meals. But am keeping it flexible except for 2 rules: I'm a total low carb convert, so am keeping to under 60g and under 1200 cal a day, which I guess makes it a lcd rather than a vlcd. I'll keep this up as long as I lose weight and if I stop losing, I'll switch back or to dukan or something.

Anyway, I'll continue to keep an eye on your progress - your advice and support on this thread have been invaluable at the crucial early stages so thank you and good luck!

 

[Spanglymum]

Well I lost it big time last night too. Hmm. Not sure what's going on mentally. Very odd because I thought I was doing ok!!

Right.

Start again. I have this voice telling not to bother as I have a supplier dinner tomorrow night but I know I want to get back to goal.

It's almost like I don't believe I deserve to be at my goal weight so I'm sabotaging myself! Madness.

 

[Debbi8489]

Afternoon guys

Day 2 is going well so far. I was at the gym this morning and did an hour of BodyCombat and an hour of BodyPump. We are watching the Scottish Cup Semi Final at the moment. Its going to be a Super Sunday will all the games that are on today. So far, my team is winning...this is very unexpected...for me anyway. 20 minutes or so left, I'm still sure that we'll get beat

So what happened last night Spangly? Anything in particular set things off? In between the football, I plan to get my Beck Diet and Adore Yourself Slim out and read through those. I need to refocus big time. I think I will be fine being on the packs, its coming off thats the tricky bit!

Time for coffee and more water.

Debbi xx

 

[Spanglymum]

Really down today. Not sure what's wrong with me. Louise Hay would say there's nothing wrong with me and I'm perfect just as I am, but I'm not feeling it. Deep down I feel like a failure. I'm really not sure why I'm so down on myself. I can see why loving yourself is the key to all of this - but I just feel so rubbish.

My hubby is so brilliant: he is constantly building up my fragile self esteem with compliments and such like. He bought me flowers today - for no reason other than that he loves me! I am so very very lucky. I know I am! So why do I do this to myself? Why do I need to feel I'm not good enough? I need to put these self-destructive thoughts aside and learn to be kind to myself. Just kind. Gentle. Understanding. Compassionate. I can do it for other people, why don't I deserve the same?

Cross-posted! Not sure what triggered me off last night other than 'oh sod it' thoughts.

 

[bluesunflower]

Sorry to hear about last night, Spangly. You absolutely deserve to be back at goal and happy, so forgive yourself for what happened and only look forward. Think of how nice it will be to be at goal again when summer comes. It's so sweet that your hubby is being so kind and supportive!

What you said about sabotaging yourself once you're close to goal is really hitting the nail on the head I think. I'm terribly afraid of not being able to maintain long-term and fear losing it again after an initial period of maintenance. Last time around, the months on Total were the 'easy'/'safe' part, so I think I'm trying to recreate that sort of limbo.

Debbi, I'm also re-reading Beck Diet Solution. Just about to print off a list with 25 reasons why I should always stick to the plan (now and after I'm done with packs) rather than binge and have promised myself I'll read through it every morning and every time I'm tempted to give in "just this once".


We can do this ladies - we've done it before and there's absolutely no reason why we can't do it again. Stay strong x

 

[Spanglymum]

Listening to some positive affirmations, which are so lovely and comforting. I'll be ok I'm sure. Just wobbly! I suppose this is a bit like riding a bike... I've taken the stabilisers off! Need to give myself a break...