Total Solution Restart 29/03/2015 Exante journey to 9st3 for life!

[yoyoagogo]

Hi Lara

Sounds like you are struggling a bit honey. Have you started counselling now? I think you would benefit from a more balanced approach as you seem to be swinging from restriction to binge

Big hugs - it can't be easy xxx

Good for you for all the dates though! Any you like?

 

[Lara1986]

Yeah. So annoyed with what I ate yesterday. Argh. Will try and do a good run later but haven't slept much!

The counselling is off. They said they can't see me as I wasn't available when they were able to offer me slots. They said I'll have to be referred again.

 

[Lara1986]

I binged all day yesterday. But I was going to eat the last things in the eve but I stopped. I remembered how fat I was 2.5 months ago. How awful that was. How my life was all about food. And I made a conscious decision that NO I don't want that.

So today I will go for a run after work and then I'm seeing friends in the eve. Will make it an early one as I haven't been feeling that well still pls I need to save money and calories by not drinking.

I have a date on Monday and another on Thursday. So in a way that's helped because it's incentive to not go off the rails as I can't go if I'm feeling and looking fat and bloated. I'm considering doing the Monday one without drinking, or just having one drink as I am drinking too much again. The Thursday date is probably going to involve eating. Which scares me! But I have to learn that is ok.

I keep looking at my old pictures and I really want to keep running and slimming as I looked so good back then. My friend said to me yesterday though that my figure is amazing and I look really good right now, so sometimes I do wonder about how accurate my own judgement is.

 

[Lara1986]

Seem to be back on track. Had a good run yesterday and ate vegetables, 2 tins of tuna and some leftover tomato pasta sauce. That's all I had all day so along with a really enjoyable 7mile run, I should have removed at least some of the binge calories.

This morning I had tuna, spring onions and tomato sauce and am now walking 40mins to town to meet some friends. I need to see my sister after and will then go for a run - I am wearing my running stuff and have brought a back pack with me so no excuses.

I managed a sober night yesterday and I got the last tube home but I must admit I didn't have fun. It's not fun shouting in a noisy place and I get impatient with drunk people! But it was a birthday so it was important to show my face. I'm going to keep things as low carb as possible, and will use some exante packs.

I have dates on Monday and Thursday plus a night out on Friday so I can't strictly VLCD. But I see no reason why I won't still lose weight with this method and running. It's scary that I'm going to be on a beach in 7 weeks. Oh god I just worked that out now. That's no time at all. How scary. My body is not ready!!!!

 

[Lara1986]

Day is over and I managed:

Breakfast / lunch:
1 tin tuna
Tomato sauce
Spring onions

4.5 miles run

Dinner / evening:
2 exante spaghetti bolognese packs
2 skinny pasta
Semi skim milk in tea

 

[Shrimp]

Come on Lara you can do this....we start at the same weight and are the same height. We can work together to get to target??

 

[Lara1986]

Come on Lara you can do this....we start at the same weight and are the same height. We can work together to get to target??

Yes can def work our way to target. I'm using the app so can't see your stats- what is your target? Had a peak at your thread sorry to hear you're going through such a stressful patch x

 

[Lara1986]

Was just clearing my wardrobe and tidying for last 2.5 hours. And I found all my crop tops that I was able to wear 13 months ago. Gosh, I so badly wish I could wear them. If I could wear them by the time I go away in 50 days that would be awesome. I don't know if it's unrealistic. I should really start my bootcamp classes again soon. Maybe in a week. I currently am aiming to run at least 25 miles a week over 4 sessions, which should burn an extra 2000 cals at least. And using exante packs, but having extra veg or protein when needed, and having days off socially when needed too. 50 days.. I have to focus!!!!

 

[poppyp84]

You can do it, one day at a time and do the best you'll get there.

 

[Shrimp]

My target on my stats is 9st 13lb but I am down to 9st 8lb now....would love to get closer to 9st by Christmas.

I am sure you will get into those crop tops

 

[Lara1986]

My target on my stats is 9st 13lb but I am down to 9st 8lb now....would love to get closer to 9st by Christmas. I am sure you will get into those crop tops

That's excellent. You're very close to your goal. 9s8 is a great weight. I don't know what I weigh but I fear it's more like 10st!

I think I will weigh myself in 2 weeks time..... Actually I will... Gives me something to work towards; so that's Monday 22nd December... Weigh day eeek!!!

 

[Lara1986]

Gosh. I just saw my friends Facebook account. She has so many pics on there of me from summer time. I hadn't seen them until now as I'm not on Facebook or any of that stuff. The pics are hideous. I look awful. I'm so upset that other people have seen them. I hate it. I had planned to camera dodge that holiday but I did go along with pics in the end. Urghhh I know they are just pics but it really bothers me that I've never seen them yet so many people have and I hate them.

Well back to the plan... About to have my first exante pack of the day. Will run later on. And going on a date in eve and will try to not drink or if I do I'll only have one.

I'm doing my next 4 weekly picture next week... As that will be week 12. I don't think there's going to be much difference as it's been an up and down 4 weeks... But I will do it regardless as it's a good way to measure without scales. Plus I could lose a bit by next week.

 

[Lara1986]

Today I had:


Exante mushroom risotto
Exante spaghetti bolognese
1 single vodka and diet coke
Several teas with semi skimmed milk (need to go and buy some other milk!)

Jogged 7.1 miles in 1h20mins.

I don't know if it's due to totm but extra fat looking today. I really feel unhappy with my stomach in particular. I'm worried that because I gained more than ever this time when I gained, the fat won't go and the skin will not look how it did when I've had not quite so much lost.

I have to stay focused as I only have 49 days until my trip, and besides, I know what body I want, and it's not how I'm looking right now.

 

[Lara1986]

48 days to go...

Much less bloated today so could have been totm making me feel worse.

Having a tea now.

It's going to be hard doing 25 miles a week in this cold!

 

[Shrimp]

Gosh. I just saw my friends Facebook account. She has so many pics on there of me from summer time. I hadn't seen them until now as I'm not on Facebook or any of that stuff. The pics are hideous. I look awful. I'm so upset that other people have seen them. I hate it. I had planned to camera dodge that holiday but I did go along with pics in the end. Urghhh I know they are just pics but it really bothers me that I've never seen them yet so many people have and I hate them.

Well back to the plan... About to have my first exante pack of the day. Will run later on. And going on a date in eve and will try to not drink or if I do I'll only have one.

I'm doing my next 4 weekly picture next week... As that will be week 12. I don't think there's going to be much difference as it's been an up and down 4 weeks... But I will do it regardless as it's a good way to measure without scales. Plus I could lose a bit by next week.

Lara you will love those photos eventually as they show were you have come from. Someone posted a photo of me 6 years ago on Facebook last weekend and I nearlly had a heart attack at how fat and bloated my face looked. But then the reality hit about what I look like now...and you know I don't mind as it is a different me and a reminder of what I don't intend to happen again. Focus on what's ahead not behind...you can't change your past but you can your future!,,,

 

[Lara1986]

Lara you will love those photos eventually as they show were you have come from. Someone posted a photo of me 6 years ago on Facebook last weekend and I nearlly had a heart attack at how fat and bloated my face looked. But then the reality hit about what I look like now...and you know I don't mind as it is a different me and a reminder of what I don't intend to happen again. Focus on what's ahead not behind...you can't change your past but you can your future!,,,

Aaaw thanks what motivating words and such a positive way to look at it

 

[Lara1986]

So today was my work Xmas party... I didn't attend the meal, and stayed about an hour and 45 mins and just had one diet coke while most other people were getting drunk. I got home about 8pm and then had 2 exante packs for energy and headed out for my 7.1 mile run. I can't run Thursday and Friday so making sure I run Monday to Wednesday, and then will also do Saturday and Sunday too maybe.

I ate
2 spag Bol exante packs
3 Teas with quite a lot of semi skinned milk!

I am excited to get this weight off.. It will happen I have to believe it. It's happened before and will happen again.

I've been feeling nauseous for 2 weeks and 1 day now I really don't know why. If I still feel like that in a week I will see the dr about it.

Tomorrow will be just 47days to go until my trip!!

I am working from home tomorrow so will be a restful day, will run in eve.

Thursday I'll be in the office and then I have a 2nd date... Which will probably be dinner and drinks but that's ok as I've been using packs and running all week, and I wouldn't eat anything unhealthy at dinner anyway (well other than drinking the alcohol!)

 

[Lara1986]

Oh also I think I will brave up and weigh myself on Tuesday....

 

[yoyoagogo]

Oh also I think I will brave up and weigh myself on Tuesday....

Oo exciting!

(Re. Nausea - you're not pregnant are you?) xx

 

[poppyp84]

Well done for being so good at your works Christmas party and for sounding so positive, believing in yourself is half the battle! You know staying on track will be worth it for your trip.
i know how you feel about awful photos, I'm sure we all do. I had some particularly bad ones last Christmas and earlier this year, I cringe looking at them and they make me feel so sad, but they also make me feel so proud of how far I've come. Next time you look at those pictures I hope you can be proud of how far you've come.
Hope your having a day!