Total Solution Restart 29/03/2015 Exante journey to 9st3 for life!

You look fantastic! And your hips are beautiful as is your tiny waist!
 
Ahh thanks so much for your feedback. It's reassuring!!!
 
I've been eating a bit more than I would like... I am still not that well but clearly my appetite has come back. But it's nowhere near as bad as it could have been. I'm just eating a bit more but that's probably because I'm at home all day so in a way it's natural and I can't run so it's just the whole sitting around not using the energy up. I still have a bad cough and a sore throat. Every night I've had an awful fever but hoping that goes away tonight. If it does go away I think I'll try a jog tomorrow. If it doesn't go away then I won't...! It's been a fever to the point my top is soaking wet in the middle of the night... Not fun
 
Lara you look fantastic in your pics! I hope you feel better soon and the running with get you into the mindset you like to be in for fitness and health.
 
I hope you're fully better for xmas x
 
Lara you look fantastic in your pics! I hope you feel better soon and the running with get you into the mindset you like to be in for fitness and health.

Thanks :) the mindset is the key and running is fundamental to that. Which is something you've reminded me of for a long time.
 
I hope you're fully better for xmas x

Thanks. I'm due back to work on Tuesday... I am forcing myself to have a quiet weekend... This is the hard part because i feel well enough to go out... But my body is still healing really
 
I've found reading about energy and mindfulness is helping me keep away from bingeing too actually. Trying to really think about how life can be more positive, and appreciating living in the moment rather than getting stuck in my head going over the same thoughts, or stuffing thoughts and feelings away.
 
Been eating a bit more than I am comfortable with but I have been sitting around at home and recovering from being sick so it's ok. I got myself pretty much better. Went for first run in 11 days yesterday which was slow but good. On my way to work now and plan to run on the way home.
 
Its great you are running again and its fine if it is slower - your moving and that is fab! I think I need some new reading material as I need to get myself sorted too.
 
Its great you are running again and its fine if it is slower - your moving and that is fab! I think I need some new reading material as I need to get myself sorted too.

It's not a book about eating but reading "the power of now" has really helped my perspective x
 
Hey Lara, I'm glad it's helping :) I hope you have a lovely Christmas and the new year starts on a positive note and continues that way.
 
Happy Xmas to you too.. :)


I binged yesterday. Was quite a big one. I think I just wanted to eat and couldn't stop. Maybe in anticipation of this food season. Or maybe so that I felt sick today so hopefully can't eat much. Whatever it is it's happened and I won't dwell. I feel rubbish physically this morning and I could easily mirror that mentally and start eating from now and binge all day but I am planning to go out Saturday night and go on a date Monday evening and if I binge I will ruin all of that. So instead of eating I'm gonna have a shower, put a face mask on, do my hair nicely, put some bronzer on, get dressed a bit and smile. I will go for a run tomorrow. I'm not going to panic. I admit I wasn't present when the binge happened - I was not in touch with the now - I jumped into old patterns and then justified with the usual declarations about what I will do In the future to undo the binge and my dreams of one day being stable and slim. But I am aware I need to bring myself into the present as soon as a binge happens. And it's a work in progress. But I'm in the present now and I won't slip into thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, I just have to make the most of the today's.

Hope everyone has a great day
 
Merry Christmas :109:
 
Well done for recognising that hon, sounds like you are starting to heal... Xxx
 
Hello Lara
 
I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting on life and myself. And I really am becoming far more present and positive. I intend to continue. One thing I read that really struck me was that if you keep focusing on something whether is positive or negative - and expect it - you'll become it and it will happen. I am sure that this yo yo has been created by me through a combination of:

- Lack of self belief / expecting to one day fail
- Constant self criticism / lacking gratitude for my body and health as it is now
- Overly focusing on food and dieting / inevitably leading to food dominating my life as it does my thoughts
- Focus on the future in terms of "things will be better when I'm slimmer" and so making my happiness never present and always dependant on something external that is imagined and never arrives even with weight loss.

I may post a bit less because I am working all of this out I had another bad binge Saturday. I won't go into it and thereby reinforce the negative memory and story but I think it was truly my mind rebelling to the big shifts in focus I have made.

I am trying to work out whether posting on here adds to my obsessive thoughts and the yoyo cycle or not (because inevitably it is predominantly about dieting that We write and of the illusory never ending weight loss struggle which I have decided has ended). Sometimes when I've been absent I've done well, other times I've done badly. I think focusing on my present life and not worrying about food is essential.

I will be posting updates but that's where I am at now xx
 
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Hi Lara,
Thank you for posting this - this is VERY interesting and I am going to look up that book. I struggle with compulsive binge eating myself (wow - never said that before!!) and have never found any evidence of ANYONE ELSE experiencing the same thing?! Fascinating to read your post about being present and not reinforcing the story by dwelling on it. Thanks again.
A :)
 
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